I read a great book recently. I’m not saying that because my pastor wrote the book. I’m saying it because it’s about the most honest book I’ve ever read on dealing with a loved one with dementia. Honestly, it’s a book I wish I could have read a long time ago before witnessing both my grandmothers going through their own battles with memory loss diseases.

My takeaways are 1) that sometimes there are no right or wrong choices in dealing with this disease– there’s only you doing the best you can with the resources and the knowledge you’ve been given. 2) Sometimes caring for a loved one with dementia is a thankless job dealing with someone who will not only be uncooperative but often be combative and hostile. Remember that true love is always unconditional. Also remember that when you were little, your parents made choices for you that you didn’t always like but were for your good.

It seems to me that with diseases like Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, it’s not the patient who really suffers as much as it is their loved ones who have to witness them dying a little bit every day, losing their memories and a part of their identity.

Here’s the link to buy the book if you’re interested:

Most of all, spend time with those you love, even if they’re no longer able to appreciate it or to respond. There’s always the small chance you’ll see glimpses of who they used to be. But most of all, you only get so many moments to share before they’re gone and you can’t get them back.

After all, any act done in true love is never wasted or in vain.

I have a lot of thoughts in my head currently, most of which don’t really mesh together well, but I’m needing to get at least some of them out of my head and in some form of writing.

I’m thinking about my mother’s cat Paddy today. It was 4 years ago that she took her last ride to the vet. It was an emotionally wrecking day for me (and I’m sure for my mother as well).

I still miss that grumpy old cat. She might have been an ornery cuss at times, but she could be endearing and sweet at other times. She had her own loving way and was unswervingly loyal to my mom.

Two years later, I found out my own beloved cat Lucy was terminally ill. It devastated me. For the next six days, I cried, prayed, hoped for a miracle, and tried as best as I could to prepare for the worst.

But today was filled with happy memories. We had our traditional yearly family celebration of my sister’s upcoming birthday. It was festive and filled with truck rides, eating too much, badminton, and hammocks. And birthday cake.

That’s a sort of microcosm of life. There’s a great amount of sadness and heartache, but there’s also joy and beauty. Sometimes, you can’t have one without the other. Sometimes, suffering helps you appreciate the joy more.

But all in all, life’s still a gift. It’s a blessing that I take for granted most days, but on those days when I remember, I give thanks for the privilege of waking up and breathing in God’s air. As long as you or I are still breathing, we still have a purpose and a reason to live.

Cherish your life and the people in it.

“Lay down my dear brothers
Lay down and take your rest
Won’t you lay your head upon your Savior’s breast
I love you all but Jesus loves you the best
And I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight” (Grateful Dead).

I can’t believe I actually stayed up past midnight.

Back in the day, I was quite the night owl, but having a 5 am wakeup call during the week curtailed my nightly antics a bit.

So here it is– 12:32 am– and I’m finally calling it a night. I’m beyond ready for some sleep.

Is that what happens when you get old? Asking for a friend.

It’s more of a reminder to myself, but if it’s helpful to you, then that’ll work.

I remember someone saying once that no one can make you feel anything. Ultimately, they can’t make you happy or sad or angry or anything.

They can say hurtful things, but you still have a choice as to how you will respond. Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket (as I heard someone else say once). Let your joy come primarily through God and let others be conduits of that joy.

No matter what, you can choose gratitude and joy and thanksgiving because you know that God is still a promise keeper, no matter what the weather or the day.

“We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts. How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from Him the little things?” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community)

To put it another way, how can you expect for God to entrust big tasks to you unless you are first faithful in the small tasks and minute details?

In whatever season of life you’re in, be all there. Be faithful and bloom where you’re planted. Do whatever is in front of you to your utmost ability. Stay obedient and trust God with the results.

“Patience is more than endurance. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says–‘I cannot stand anymore.’ God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands” (Oswald Chambers).

That’s awfully deep for a Monday. It’s hard to go from weekend vegging to having to think real adult thoughts in just 24 hours. That’s why Monday is the least favorite day of the week (or whatever day follows a holiday).

But these words by Oswald Chambers aren’t just deep. They’re true. They may be your experience in this very moment. You may feel stretched and strained beyond your ability to endure, but God knows and sees and end that is beyond even your ability to dream about at this point.

As much as the aiming process feels like forever, it’s not. Don’t abandon the process because of temporary discomforts that will lead to eternal joys. Whatever the pain feels like now, it will be forgotten when the blessing comes, much like a mother isn’t thinking about the agony of childbirth when she holds new life in her arms.

Trust the process. Trust God. Believe that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes with the dawn.

It’s that time of the week dreaded by many that’s known as Monday Eve. It’s Sunday night and the work week looms ahead.

So here’s a funny that will hopefully take your mind off whatever’s worrying you about the week ahead.

I also hate getting up early, for the record. Especially on Mondays. But here’s the deal– it’s gonna be a good week. Just set your mind on that.

How do I know? Because I know God’s in charge. Whatever’s giving you anxiety or concern, God won’t be taken by surprise. It’s not like you’ll bring it to Him in prayer and He’ll be like, “Well, I definitely didn’t see THAT coming.”

The worst case scenario with God in it is better than any scenario without God because even in those worst moments you are still being carried along by those Everlasting Arms and He’s still working all things together for good.

In other words, it’s all good. Trust more, worry less. Focus on the here and now and say lots of short prayers and take deep breaths and trust that God will take care of you.

I finally made it to the 13th incarnation of the Doctor. I’ve embarked on the latest series of Doctor Who with Jodie Whittaker playing the title role.

I confess I had a bit of trepidation and fear going in after reading some of the negative reviews (and some of the overly positive ones, too). My fears have been assuaged. It’s all good.

I’m really liking Jodie’s doctor. I’m liking all the companions, although I don’t know how they can sustain a Tardis with four people. But so far, the stories are good, the acting is good, the pacing and production are good.

Ok, David Tennant is still my favorite of the NuWho doctors, but Jodie is a more than admirable successor to the character. I also would like to point out that I still prefer the Classic series over the new stuff, but it’s all good.

Maybe I’ll be all caught up when the new episodes start in 2020. Or maybe I’ll just start over from the beginning.

I’m becoming aware that I like to quote Ann Voskamp. A lot. Honestly, I find that she has a writer’s way with words that speaks my own feelings better than I often can. Such is the case with something she wrote about grief and loss that speaks perfectly to all those who mourn.

“I am David lamenting, ‘O Lord, why…? (Psalm 101:1). Why this broken world punched through with losses? “O Lord, how long? (Psalm 13:1). How long until every baby thrives and all children sleep down the hall from a mom and dad wrapped up in love, and each womb swells with vigorous life, and every single cancer clinic sits empty and we all grow old together?’…He takes the empty hands and draws me close to the thrum of Love. You may suffer loss but in Me is anything ever lost, really? Isn’t everything that belongs to Christ also yours? Loved ones lost still belong to Him–then aren’t they still yours? Aren’t then all provisions, in Christ yours? If you haven’t lost Christ, child, nothing is ever lost. Remember, through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God’ (Acts 12:22 NASB).” (Ann Voskamp)

The sad truth is that most of us will never know how deep the love of God goes until we’re in the middle of a storm.

It’s not in the midst of comfort but of crisis that we find underneath it all the Everlasting Arms are still holding us and carrying us through.

As much as I’d like my faith life to be all about comfort and convenience, I know that it’s in struggle and discomfort that I grow and where I find that God reveals the most about Himself. That’s where He speaks to me loudest.

You’re bound to be either coming out of a storm, in the midst of a storm, or getting ready to head into one, but remember that’s where God’s strength will meet you at the point of your deepest need.

To know the strength of the anchor, you need to feel the storm.