Yeah, basically I had no intention of starting my day off with a spectacular nosebleed. But sometimes it happens.

It’s a bit unnerving to see that much blood coming out of your nose, especially when it doesn’t seem to want to stop. The rest of the day involved a trip to Urgent Care and a day spent at home resting.

Here I am, 18 or so hours later (and currently nosebleed-free), writing these words and thanking God that it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

Maybe days like these will help you to appreciate your health a little bit more. I know I probably won’t take mine for granted any more.

Also, it makes me appreciate even more the grace of God that wakes me up every morning and sings me to sleep every night. Without that grace, I’d be screwed.

I’m learning not to take anything in this life for granted but to trust God for everything in every moment, casting all my cares on Him and leaning on His understanding and not mine. It’s another step toward my declaration of utter and total dependence on God that will only increase and grow as I get older.

While I may not have enough of what I want or what I think I need, I have more than enough grace. I have more than enough God to overcome any lack of anything else.

That’s still the key for me. Give thanks because every moment of every day with God in it is grace, pure and simple. Anything good on top of that is gravy.

Yeah, it was a good day. It was also a Monday. No, those two are not always mutually exclusive. Sometimes you have to decide in your mind that you choose what kind of day you will have by your attitude going into it and how you respond rather than react to the day’s events.

Was it my best day ever? No. I’ve had better. Was it the worst? By far no.

But it was a day filled with new mercies and fresh grace. It was a day covered in hesed, my new favorite word that basically means deserving nothing and receiving everything from God.

I had sunshine, good music in my car, a fairly smooth commute to and from work, a good hike with a friend, and the joy of waking up for one more day. Those are what constitutes a good day in my book these days.

It’s not about having everything you want that money can buy. It’s about having everything that money can’t buy– what you can never put a dollar amount on, what can’t be bought or sold.

“Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known” (Garrison Keillor).

You know it’s officially summer in the South, not by the date on the calendar but by the amount of humidity in the air and the level of volume of hair for anyone with curly locks.

Yes, folks, the season of sweat-pocalyse has begun in earnest.

I’m not the biggest fan of hot weather, but I’ll take 95 degrees with low to no humidity over a muggy 85 any day. It’s that humidity that makes me sweat more profusely. I’m pretty sure everyone who’s within smellin’ distance of me is thankful for low humidity.

For me, all it takes is walking outside in the day time. I don’t even have to exert. I just have to be outside for more than five minutes and the sweat starts dripping.

Did I mention how much I really, really love fall?

It was nothing monumental. It was nothing radically life-altering. It was just me riding in the Red Sled with the windows down in the unseasonably coolish weather with Billie Holiday singing me home.

I do love me some air conditioning. Don’t get me wrong. But 1) the A/C in my car is quite possibly on the fritz, and 2) there’s something about the way the night breezes play with my hair that does something to my soul.

I’m working my way through Lady Day: The Complete Columbia recordings of Ms. Holliday. I guess I’ve been a fan of hers since high school. I don’t know much about her other than her life was a bit tragic and her voice was magic.

I’m all about celebrating the small moments. I’m into giving thanks for all the so-called little gifts, because when I acknowledge the small, I show that I am ready for bigger and better.

Thank You, God, for this life, and forgive me if I don’t love it (or You) enough.

It was two years ago today that my beloved Lucy crossed that rainbow bridge, taking a little piece of my heart with her. I count that as one of the saddest days of my life.

I realize that it’s probably a little silly to get so worked up over a cat. People I know have suffered much more devastating losses. But she was my constant and faithful companion. She was always a quiet and comforting presence.

Looking back, I’m thankful that God blessed me with such a loving and loyal friend. She could at times be ornery and she was not a fan of belly rubs, but she was the ultimate lap cat and slept on the pillow beside mine just about every night.

I do wish the rainbow bridge had visiting hours. I’d go and thank my Lucy for all her love. I’d tell her that I have a new cat named Peanut who is the recipient of all the love I had for Lucy, not a replacement but a rescue. I think Lucy would appreciate her gotcha story.

Time by itself doesn’t heal anything. Finding a new outlet for the love to flow helps. Also gratitude goes a long way. Above all whatever hurts or sorrows I’ve entrusted into God’s care have been slowly but surely transformed into joy and healing.

I know for sure that if I had the chance, I’d do it all again with Lucy. All 17 years. Even the hard parts. Even that hardest last part. I treasure all my memories that I carry with me in my heart for as long as I live.

“I believe my steps are growing wearier each day
Still I’ve got a journey on my mind
Lures of this old world have ceased to make me want to stay
and my one regret is leaving you behind

If it proves to be his will that I’m the first to go
And some how I’ve a feeling it will be
When it comes time to travel likewise don’t feel lost
For I will be the first one that you’ll see

And I’ll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan
I’ll be waiting drawing pictures in the sand
And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout!
And come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand

Through this life we’ve laboured hard to earn our meager fare
It’s brought us trembling hands and failing eyes
I’ll just rest here on this shore and turn my eyes away
And then you’ll come then we’ll see paradise”

Lately, I’ve been reading books again. Actual books with actual pages that you can physically turn.

The latest is a biography and loving and honest tribute by John Carter Cash to his late mother June Carter Cash. The book details how both Johnny and June struggled with drug addictions yet both maintained a stedfast faith that carried them through even the lowest times and darkest moments.

That’s one thing I’m starting to understand when it comes to addiction. You can love Jesus and be an addict. Sometimes God will take the craving and dependency away, but sometimes for whatever reason He leaves His child in the midst of the storm of addiction if only to grow a deeper dependency on Him.

In the end, what matters is that Johnny and June loved each other deeply. They also both had deep faith in Jesus. Yes, they had their demons, but I truly believe that God in Jesus kept His word that nothing could ever separate them from His love– not any power of hell, not any grave, and certainly not any addiction.

I normally don’t straight up copy and share a complete devotional that I’ve been reading, but the entry for June 16 was too good not to share:

“Patiently wait for God alone, my soul! For he is the one who gives me confidence. — Ps 62:5

“Our too general neglect of looking for answers to what we ask, shows how little we are in earnest in our petitions. A husbandman is not content without the harvest; a marksman will observe whether the ball hits the target; a physician watches the effect of the medicine which he gives; and shall the Christian be careless about the effect of his labor?

Every prayer of the Christian, made in faith, according to the will of God, for which God has promised, offered up in the name of Jesus Christ, and under the influence of the Spirit, whether for temporal or for spiritual blessings, is, or will be, fully answered.

God always answers the general design and intention of His people’s prayers, in doing that which, all things considered, is most for His own glory and their spiritual and eternal welfare. As we never find that Jesus Christ rejected a single supplicant who came to Him for mercy, so we believe that no prayer made in His name will be in vain.

The answer to prayer may be approaching, though we discern not its coming. The seed that lies under ground in winter is taking root in order to a spring and harvest, though it appears not above ground, but seems dead and lost”
—Bickersteth

Sometimes, we all need a mental reboot. I know I do. It’s sorta like when your computer starts acting weird and you do the thing where you turn it off and back on again. At least that’s the technical name for it. Usually that fixes whatever’s wrong. If not, then you call the IT guy.

I think sometimes my thinking gets off. I start craving stuff. I start comparing my life with the people around me and getting envious of what they have that I don’t. Sometimes I get a bit of moral superiority when I feel like I’m doing better than someone else.

That’s when I need a reboot. I need to remember that truly the best things in life can’t be bought or sold. In fact, the best things aren’t usually even things.

They’re memories. They’re time spent with loved ones. They’re acts of kindness and compassion. The best gift of all in my life has been the free gift of salvation in Jesus and the daily grace He offers me.

Contentment comes when you quit comparing and start celebrating your life as the gift it is. When you swich from grumbling to gratitude. Saying thank you for all the tiny blessings.

I want that. God, help me remember what really matters and to not take any good gift for granted.

It was not my plan to get wet at Radnor Lake State Park. If you remember the old Grizzly River Rampage ride at Opryland USA, the slogan was “You WILL get wet.” Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen. Until it did.

My plan was to hike. Plain and simple. I wanted to walk my usual trifecta of trails– Ganier Ride, South Cove, and Lake Trail. Sure, it was a bit muggy, but this is just shy of summer in Tennessee. Humidity happens.

But then I heard thunder. It sounded far enough away that I thought I’d be okay. Then I felt the first drops of rain. Still not enough to deter me from my plan.

Honestly, for most of the hike, it was very calming to hear the rain in the trees. For the most part, I stayed dry underneath the canopy of leaves and branches.

Then I got wet. At some point, the rain broke through the trees and hit me.

But I’d do it again tomorrow. Some part of me needs to be in nature– breathe it in, feel it on my skin, let it overwhelm my senses. I get enough asphalt and pavement. I need some earth underneath my feet. Even with the rain.

And I barely melted at all.