This morning, a person entered Covenant School, a private Christian elementary school in the Green Hills area of Nashville, and opened fire, killing 3 students and 3 faculty. The community is still reeling. My heart is sad and heavy from yet another senseless act of mass killing. I found this beautiful prayer that speaks the words of my heart that I could not find for myself:

“Prayer of lament for mass shootings

Lord, in our shock and confusion, we come before you.
In our grief and despair in the midst of hate,
in our sense of helplessness in the face of violence,
we lean on you.

For the families of those who have been killed we pray.
For the shooters—help us to pray, Lord.
For the communities that have lost members—their anger, grief, fear—we pray.
For the churches striving to be your light in darkness beyond our comprehension, we pray.

In the face of hatred, may we claim love, Lord.
May we love those far off and those near.
May we love those who are strangers and those who are friends.
May we love those who we agree with and understand,
and even more so, Lord, those who we consider to be our enemies.

Kyrie Eleison. Lord, have mercy.
Heal our sin-sick souls.
Make these wounds whole, Lord.

Prayer adapted from the Christian Reformed Church Office of Social Justice.“

Back in the day, we had something called a mix tape. That was where you recorded your favorite songs onto a cassette tape, normally with the intent of giving it to someone you liked. If you were really old school, you recorded those songs off the radio. Ah, those were the days.

You didn’t just choose any old song willy-nilly. Since it was more time-consuming, you had to put some thought into the song selection and the sequencing. Plus, you had to make sure you didn’t accidentally record over the end of the previous song. The worst was that anxiety of wondering if you had enough room on the tape for that last song or if it was going to cut off before the song got done. Oh, the humanity.

Some of you might remember putting together mix CDs. But not everyone had the technology to burn CDs, so those of us who did were the few and the proud. We were super nerdy. But even with CDs, you had to be super picky with your songs, because once they were on there, they were there to stay.

Nowadays, things are different. And easier. You just find your songs and right click them into a playlist that can be as short or as long as you like. You can play them in the order you selected them or in a random mix. You can delete a song or two with the click of a button or the swipe of a finger. Plus, they sound a lot better than the old mix tapes.

If you’re born in the year 2000 or after, I might as well be speaking a foreign language. Mix tapes? Burning CDs? I might as well be putting on my pantaloons to take a drive in my horseless carriage to the nearest Blockbuster to rent a movie on a videocassette. Getting old sucks.

“When you reflect upon Jesus Christ hanging on the cross of shame, you understand the depth and weight of human sin. How do we measure the size of a fire? By the number of firefighters and fire engines sent to fight against it. How do we measure the seriousness of a medical condition? By the amount of risk the doctors take in prescribing dangerous antibiotics or surgical procedures. How do we measure the gravity of sin and the incomparable vastness of God’s love for us? By looking at the magnitude of what God has done for us in Jesus, who became like a common criminal for our sake and in our place” (Fleming Rutledge, The Undoing of Death).

When you think about it, every sin that you and I commit is ultimately against God, more so that it is against ourselves or other people. I read a quote that said that the essence of sin is us substituting ourselves for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting Himself for us. That’s the crux of it.

In Old Testament Israel, sin required blood and the death of an innocent animal. All that was pointing to the ultimate sacrifice made once for all time by Jesus on the cross. In other words, sin isn’t something God winks at and shoves under the proverbial rug. Sin is deadly serious.

Jesus taking our place is the ultimate display of love. It’s more romantic feelings that we see displayed on the silver screen. It’s even more than climbing mountains and crossing oceans for the one you love. It’s laying down your life for the beloved.

In Jesus’ case, it was laying down His life for us while we were still sinners and His enemies. While we were yet putting ourselves in the place of God and rejecting God’s better design for our lives.

That is the measure of true love.

For the first time since the NCAA tournament started seeding the teams in 1979, no 1 seeds made the Elite Eight. Basically, it means that all my brackets that I filled out with loving care are now trashcan liners. How are your brackets?

I understand that there is always a level of craziness that comes with March Madness, but this year’s level of crazy is unprecedented. So many teams that normally make deep runs in the college basketball tournament got bounced. I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years of keeping up with college basketball and filling out those brackets with the elusive hope of having a perfect bracket and winning millions of dollars.

The only bracket that I have that even has a champion still in the tournament is the one where I picked UConn to win it all. The rest went kaput when both Alabama and Houston lost tonight. Thankfully, none of them are the actual paper brackets like in the old days. That would just be a sad reminder of my futility in predicting and picking the winners of any kind of sports.

But that’s the fun of it. And the aggravation. You could theoretically spend hours analyzing all the teams and their strength of schedules and margins of victory and conference strengths. Or you could pick based on which team colors are your favorite. Or you could just randomly pick names and hope for the best.

At some point, it’s easier to give up and root for the underdogs to win every game.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a song stuck in your head. I have had one in particular for quite a while that pops up from time to time. It seems appropriate with my church in the process of moving to a new permanent location and so many whispers of revival floating around.

Though made famous by Chris Tomlin and Passion, the song was originally written and recorded by Bluetree, a Northern Irish Contemporary Christian band after they visited a town in Thailand and saw the overwhelming amount of poverty there. The song is about how no matter how bleak things appear, that God is really the one in control and in charge and the best is truly yet to come in terms of God moving among His people:

“You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are

You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are

You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

There is no one like our God
There is no one like you, God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done

We believe, we believe in you, God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
Greater things, still to be done here” (Aaron Boyd / Andrew Mccann / Ian Jordan / Peter Comfort / Peter Kernaghan / Richard Bleakley)

At first glance, it would seem like a bad start to the day. I left in what I thought was plenty of time to get to my doctor’s appointment on time. Google maps showed that my destination was 28 minutes away, so theoretically, I should arrive with 2 minutes to spare. Only I didn’t.

Rain and traffic had other plans. I ended up being 10 minutes late to my appointment. Plus, I’m not a fan of driving in the rain and it rained on me the entire way. It would have been easy to chalk up the day as a loss and be prepared to start over the next day.

But then I remembered that I have a reliable Jeep that gets me to where I want to go and keeps me dry in the midst of rainy Wednesdays. I have good health that I routinely take for granted until someone I know has a scary diagnosis or suffers from health issues. I have a good job with insurance and an HSA that helps me afford the visit to see my doctor.

Every challenge is really an opportunity to exercise my ability to give thanks. Even in cold wet days, I can find the proverbial silver lining. I have yet to see the day so dark and dismal that I couldn’t find anything to be thankful for.

I recall hearing something that stuck with me. If all God had done was to save me from my sin and hell and did absolutely nothing else for me this side of heaven, it would still be better than I deserve. If God never gave me one more blessing or granted me one more prayer request, He would still be worthy of my thanks.

Yet there are daily small gifts of grace, most of which I miss from complaining or feeling entitled. But they are there if only I can see with eyes of faith and gratitude.

“When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself” (Chief Tecumseh, Shawnee Nation).

“Love is doing what will enthrall the beloved with the greatest and longest joy. What will enthrall the beloved this way is the glory of God. Love means doing all we can, at whatever cost to ourselves, to help people be enthralled with the glory of God. When they are, they are satisfied and God is glorified. Therefore loving people and glorifying God are one” (John Piper).

Love is not a feeling. Sure, love involves feelings, but above all, love is an act of the will. In any relationship, truly loving means that you can do love and act loving even when you don’t feel love. Besides, no one can maintain a feeling of love indefinitely. You will inevitably fall in and out of love many, many times throughout your life, but 1 Corinthians 13 love is a stedfast choice that never wavers.

When you love someone the way God loves, it’s not about enabling sinful behavior. True love always tells the truth. True love seeks the best for the beloved at all times, even when that involves tough love. True love is where you can disagree with people’s lifestyle choices and behaviors and still love them by seeking God’s best for them.

In a culture that equates love and lust, be the one who strives for a biblical kind of unconditional love. Be the one who loves without expecting anything in return. Remember that you can only love at all because God first loved you and demonstrated that love by sending Jesus to the cross for you and me.

“My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God” (1 John 4:7-10, The Message).

To preface, I am not nor have I ever been a fan of super hot spicy food. I used to not like any spicy-ness, but then I had what I call “the Wasabi incident” and all that changed. If you ever see me in person, be sure to ask me about the “Wasabi” incident, for it is an amusing tale.

But since then, I have developed an affinity for spicy. To a point. I’m still not a fan of spicy to the point where all you can taste is heat and not flavor. Probably the highest I go is in the vicinity of Sriracha and possibly habanero.

I have become a bit of a connoisseur of hot chicken. I like it with a bit of a kick but again not where all I can taste is hot. I have yet to go beyond the medium level of spicy. I really have no desire to go to the point of spicy to the point of cussing, if you catch my drift.

I’ve noticed that hot is relative. Hattie B’s medium is equivalent to Bolton’s mild. I’m not kidding. I had Bolton’s hot chicken at the mild level and was sweating like a Calvinist in a Pentacostal revival service. It was at the utmost limits of my spicy tolerance level.

But I’d like to try it again if they’re still around.

“I have never met a person I could despair of, or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God” (Oswald Chambers).

I don’t know if you can relate. Have you ever had someone that’s on your heart and your mind that you keep praying for day after day and nothing seems to change? Have you ever had the idea cross your mind that a particular person is beyond the reach of even God?

I have a list of people I’m praying for, as I’m sure everyone does. I wish I could say that I was super faithful about praying for everyone on my list every single day, but there are stretches where I forget. I’m thankful that God is not like me when it comes to persistence and people.

The truth of the matter is that I may never see the fruits of my prayers for people. I may never see the interior work that God is doing in the lives of those for whom I intercede. Just as I have been pleasantly shocked in the past to find out who has been touched by these posts of mine, so I may one day be as surprised to find out that someone has seen transformation and change because I was faithful to pray and not give up.

At times it’s hard to pray for people. It feels like there’s almost a physical resistance to my prayers. I sense an abnormal reluctance to pray, but I think if I can pray through those times, those may be the very breakthroughs I am seeking for other people. I know that Satan trembles when we pray in faith more than anything else we can do spiritually.

I’ve also learned that the more I pray for others, the more God actually changes me and my heart toward those for whom I pray. When I have nothing else to pray, I can always go to the prayer that never fails — Thy will be done.

First of all, no this is not a picture from the 1970s. This is a current picture that I took of the house where I used to live back in the day up until around 8th grade. Even when I lived in that house in the 70s, it never was that brown before.

It’s proof that while you can go back to places in the past, you can never truly go back to the past. The places aren’t the same and primarily you are not the same. The rooms may all be the same size as before and certain aspects may be just as they were before, but you can never be that 13-year old again.

I have happy memories that I made in that house, but I’m also glad that I’m not still the person I was at 13 living in that house. I’ve grown and changed. I’ve seen God in new ways and find that like Lucy said of Aslan in one of the Narnia books, I find that God is bigger to me because I’ve grown. I see in my maturing faith walk that my need of God never lessens but I see more of my need of God every day.

Still I miss that house. I miss many of the people I played with and talked to and shared life with in that house who are no longer with me. I still wish sometimes that I could climb inside a photograph or a memory and walk around in it for a bit before I come back to now.

I’m thankful that the house looks as good as it does, that it didn’t burn down or get run down. I’m thankful for every part of my story that brought me to where I am right now discovering more and more of the goodness of God.