I was talking with a friend earlier today. As we were chatting, something I learned a long time ago came to mind. Well, actually two.

In terms of relationships, learn to give yourself grace. You will mess up. You will say the wrong thing. You will do the wrong thing. Sometimes, what you do and say will be taken the wrong way. Still, you can give yourself permission to fail from time to time because you’re still a work in progress. God’s not done with you yet.

Also, when you’re dealing with someone else whose behavior seems mysterious and sometimes hard to accept, remember there is always one fact about that person that if you knew it, it would completely change how you saw them. They might be going through traumatic loss. They may have just emerged from an abusive relationship. In other words, give them the grace of the unknown.

Above all, be kind. Always. Harshness never accomplishes anything productive or benefits anyone. Love people the way Jesus has loved you — expecting nothing in return and with no strings attached.

“The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. The Holy Spirit has to move in our lives” (Francis Chan).

Boy, ain’t that the truth?

I need God to help me love God? Spot on.

I definitely need God to help me love others, especially when they fail to meet my expectations. I’m sure they need God’s help to love me when I do the same.

Sometimes, I need God to help me love me. I’m sure you’ve been there.

The fact of the matter is that I need God all the time at every moment in every possible way to live a life to God and for God. Even my obedience to God is fueled by the power of God working in me.

That power only comes when I am surrendered and available.

I’m writing these words with the full knowledge that you will most likely never read them, and that I will most likely not get the chance to say them to you in person or otherwise, so I am sending them out into the universe as a kind of benediction.

I would love to be friends with you if you want, but I’m content even if you don’t. I’m very much grateful either way.

I thank you for your kindness and for being nice to me. Forgive me for thinking there was anything more to it than that. I see now that you have no room in your life for me and I understand completely, so I release you from any and all expectations of friendship. I release you from feeling you have to make time for me in the midst of your hectic life.

You will be going away soon. I hope that even if you don’t remember me that you will remember these words: that you may think your going is just a change of scenery, but in God’s eyes it is a calling and a ministry to which you go.

I’m thankful to have known you and I carry the memory of you deep in my heart as I pray for you daily. I will continue to remember you in my prayers as often as God brings you to mind, knowing that greater things are still to come and greater things are still to be done in the city to which you are going. I hope to keep up with you on social media as you grow into your new season of life.

You are truly a blessing to all who know you. May you go forth in grace and peace to love and serve the Lord. May God’s favor be on you now and always.

“Christian maturity is the distance between God’s call and your capacity for obedience” (Derek Webster).

A friend pointed out something interesting related to this quote that I had never thought about. You know how far away a storm is based on the amount of time between the sound of thunder and the appearance of lightening in the sky. In the same way, you know about a person’s spiritual maturity based on the time lapse between God’s call and their response of obedience.

It tied in very well to the sermon from today. Basically, the gist was being available for whatever and wherever and whenever God calls. It’s saying to God, “My YES is on the table, no matter what.”

Something the guest preacher asked that stuck with me: “Is your life interrupt-able?”

What that means is that can God break into your routines and schedules to call you to service? Are you available and is there margin in your schedule to make room for gospel conversations and serving others? Could you uproot your life if God asked you to go overseas or across the country or even on the other side of town?

I think the key is spending time with God to learn the cadences of His voice, so that when He calls, you will recognize One calling and respond in obedience. May we all have such a heart for God.

I’m tired again. I recognize that what I’m thinking isn’t as clear as what goes through my head after a good night’s rest and a good cup of coffee. The key is not that I have weird thoughts when I’m tired, but recognizing the thoughts as weird.

Maybe that’s a bit of what it means to take every thought captive. Maybe it’s recognizing that they aren’t healthy and they aren’t from God. God is not the author of confusion nor of thoughts that stir up anxiety within us.

If you catch yourself thinking those unhealthy thoughts, maybe the thing to do is to take them to God and say, “I know this isn’t from You. Either take it from me or help me to see Your way of thinking in this.”

Also, it helps sometimes to speak God’s promises against these thoughts. Speak them out loud. Name all the verses that show God’s faithfulness. Claim every one of them. Then rest.

I’m weary. I can honestly confess that it was a long and weird week. Today’s highlight was the freakishly quick arrival of a rainstorm that left the office without power for about 90 minutes. One minute the sky was looking a bit cloudy and rainy, and the next the rain was practically blowing sideways.

I notice that when you’re tired, your thoughts are more difficult to manage. Over the years, I’ve seen that when I’m weary and ready for bed, my thoughts tend more toward the negative about circumstances and people. That’s usually when I thought I had messed up with friends and they were never going to speak to me again, but after a good night’s rest, all was right with the world and we were fine.

I will never forget the adage that I learned a long time ago. Your thoughts and feelings will lie to you at times, so you go with what you know. You hold fast to God’s promises, contrary to what those thoughts and feelings are telling you that feels so right in the moment.

What helps for me is to go eat a good dinner, walk around one of my favorite places (downtown Franklin), and buy some vinyl. That always cheers me up a bit. And now to bed, and now to bed.

Sometimes, I have so much going on inside my brain at once that it’s difficult to focus on any one thing. I typically have snatches of songs and imaginary conversations with people running through my head at any one time.

That makes praying a bit tricky as well. There are so many voices competing for my attention that it’s sometimes hard to distinguish the voice of God from the rest. Sometimes, all I can do is repeat a mantra of “God, help me” or “God, may Your will be done and may Your purposes prevail right now.”

So many of us are living in a constant state of anxiety. Some of us will replay past conversations in our head and berate ourselves about how what we could have said or done better. We wonder if we’re totally screwing up this thing called life.

But the truth of the matter — the truth that I have to keep reminding myself of from time to time — is that God’s got this. He didn’t leave everything up to you to figure out all on your own. He’s asking for you to simply do the next thing and trust God in the process.

I’ve learned that peace isn’t always a feeling. It’s not always the calm tranquility like those cows you see grazing in a field. Sometimes, peace is confidence in the midst of fear and anxiety that won’t go away. Peace is bringing God’s presence into your turmoil and letting Him have His way.

Remember, fear is false evidence appearing real. Anxiety is looking at your problems minus God. But above all, you can rest in the promise that God won’t leave or forsake you. He’s got this.

I feel attacked.

Actually, I can relate. I’ve done that before. I’ll be in a place where I can’t find my phone so I will go to look for my phone and turn on the flashlight app on my phone to see better while searching for my phone.

I think that pretty much describes the last week or so of my life. The struggle has been very real.

Just know if you’ve ever done this, you’re not the only one.

You’re welcome.

I recently bit the proverbial bullet and purchased Audible for my daily commutes to and from work (and to and from everywhere else I go that takes at least half an hour). I’ve been listening to the Jan Karon Father Tim books lately.

The gist is that Father Tim is an episcopal priest in a small town in North Carolina called Mitford. It’s a lot like Mayberry with lots of quirky, interesting characters and quaint small town charm.

In one part, Father Tim gives his shortest sermon ever. He takes four words from the Apostle Paul as his text and message to his congregants — in everything give thanks.

I like that. In everything give thanks. Note that it does not say FOR everything give thanks, but IN everything give thanks. And yes, there is a difference.

No one thanks God for the loss of a job or a terminal illness or the death of a loved one. No one thanks God for pain just for the sake of pain. But Paul said that you can thank God in the midst of the pain that God is using to refine your character by producing the fruits of the Spirit in you. You can give thanks that God is indeed working even the pain and suffering in you for good and for a greater purpose that only He can see.

Whether it’s yet another relationship that you had thought would be “the one” that ended badly, you can give thanks. When it’s a complete upheaval of your world brought on by a new job in a new state, you can give thanks. When it’s seeing loved ones grow old and get sick and lose their vitality, you can give thanks.

Again, you’re not giving thanks FOR being broken up with or FOR the chaos in your life or FOR seeing those you love suffer. You give thanks in the midst of those things because you know God is faithful. God can and will turn sorrow into joy, pain into triumph, and loss into gain. God can and will work in these circumstances a glorious outcome that will be more than worth anything you lost.

In everything give thanks. That’s my new mantra. That’s your new mantra. No matter what, in each and every circumstance, at all times, give thanks.