I would love clarity, answers, and above all a road map. Although I’m not quite in Job’s shoes in terms of tragic losses, I sometimes can relate to His questions of God’s silence and hiddenness.

But what I often forget (and what Job eventually learned) was that God doesn’t so much give answers as He gives Himself. In the long run, that’s better. After all, I’m not always the best at asking the right questions or focusing on the right things.

Right answers and clear thinking and even a five-year plan without God’s immediate presence do me no good. I’d screw it up or try to subvert the process to get to the end quicker. And as I’ve learned sin is taking my own shortcut to God’s promises and/or trying to get God’s provisions apart from God.

So much of what God wants from me in this season means slowing down and really seeping in each day instead of wanting to rush on to the next big event or the next holiday. Lately, I’ve been actually hungering for the Word of God instead of reading it as part of my rote routine.

I think God gets us all to a point where we have to lean on Him and learn from Him for as long as it takes to get us weaned from ourselves and our own self-help. He puts us in a season where all our theoretical head knowledge about God becomes lived-out experience and love for God. Basically, we find out what “Jesus loves me, this I know” really means.

Take your time, God. As much as I really would love to have clarity and answers and a detailed plan for my life, what I need right now is You. Just You.