“Whenever the insistence is on the point that God answers prayer, we are off the track. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).
If I’m not careful, prayer can become like my childhood letterd to Santa. Those typically started off with me stating how I’d been good all year and thus was worthy of all the loot I had coming to me. The specifics of those letters escapes me, but I’m sure that I was like every other kid back in the day who mailed actual letters in envelopes to an address somewhere at the North Pole.
We do the same with God. It’s like, “God, thanks for being God. Here’s what I want from You” and then the list of wants and needs begins. Sometimes, we even have a list of people we’re praying for (which is by no means a bad thing to do).
But prayer isn’t as much getting things from God as it is getting to know God. The more you know God, the more your wants and needs change. By the end, I suspect we’re praying God’s prayers back to Him. That means we’re asking God for what God wants for us and in us. We want the same things He does.
In the mean time, it is perfectly acceptable to come to God in prayer without asking for anything but simply to adore Him and thank Him for who He is. I think the less we’re concerned about getting answers, the more we’ll see God at work because our focus won’t be so narrowly limited to His hand.
The good news is that even if you feel you’ve been doing it all wrong in prayer and treating Him as Cosmic Santa, you can always start over in a sense. You can spend at least part of your prayer time in adoration and thanksgiving before processing to petitions. You can look for opportunities throughout the day to thank God for what He’s doing, even if you can’t always see what that is.
Again, the point as always is to pray. The best way to get better at praying isn’t listening to more sermons or reading more books about prayer but praying — and being around people who pray often and pray well. That has helped me a lot. I still think reading books of prayers is good, like the Book of Common Prayer or The Valley of Vision. But mostly just pray.