Social Rules to Live By

This post is a bit outside my wheelhouse, so to speak. What follows is some good advice that I wish I had learned earlier (or maybe paid better attention to when someone else was trying to teach me). Some of these may be more applicable than others, but I hope they will all be useful at some point in your life:

  1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to.
  2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person who loaned it to you remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.
  3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you to lunch or dinner.
  4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh, so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a house?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a car?’ For God’s sake, it isn’t your problem.
  5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.
  6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time.
  7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember, what may seem like 6 to you might appear as 9 to someone else. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative.
  8. Never interrupt people while they are talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all.
  9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and shows how appreciative you are.
  10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
  11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
  12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.
  13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.
  14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay.” Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness.
  15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed by how rudely you treat someone below you, but people will notice if you treat them with respect.
  16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.
  17. Never give advice until you’re asked.
  18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age or salary.
  19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it.
  20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreover, eye contact is as important as your speech.
  21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
  22. After reading a good message, consider saying “Thanks for the message.”

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don’t have.

I am including the original post to give credit where credit is due.

Daily Bread Vs. a Lifetime Supply

Recently, a friend sent me an article about trusting God for daily bread versus really wanting God to dump a year’s worth of supply in one drop so I don’t have to worry. In my flesh, I’d rather be set for life than have to be like the Israelites of old and trust God for daily provision.

Speaking of those ol’ people of God, they didn’t always listen. When God said to gather only as much as manna as you need for that day, they thought they’d be oh so smart and oh so clever and gather two or three days’ worth. What happened? The excess manna rotted and smelled to high heaven, as did the people’s attitude.

God supplies our needs daily because He knows our ultimate need isn’t bread. What we need most isn’t physical. We need God, and when we learn to trust God for each day, our dependence deepens and grows as we see each day’s needs met.

I confess I’m not very good at that. I tend to be forgetful. Thankfully, God has a gentle way of reminding me of the last 10,000 times He’s provided for me (sometimes without me even knowing or asking). He’s faithful even when I’m faithless and forgetful.

Anyway, I included the original article if you want to be blessed as much as I was:

God at Work

A friend posted this. I stole it because it’s too good not to share. Plus, I’ve made it my own prayer going forward.

I saw Unsung Hero tonight, a movie about the Smallbone family who moved from Australia back in the early 90s. Basically, their original plans fell through and they had to learn to depend on God’s provision and timing.

Maybe it was God’s timing for me to see this movie at this particular point in my career transition. As any of you who have been in that place know, it can be stressful at times and discouraging at other times. It can be so easy to base your self worth on what you do for a living or how much you make a year or anything like that.

But God is teaching those of us in that process that who God says we are matters more than any job title or salary or car we drive or house we live in. In fact, what God says about us trumps it all. Only what God says matters.

God’s character and God’s promises are inextricably linked. What God does can’t be separated from who God is, and if it is God’s nature to love us sacrificially, then He will keep every promise that He has ever made to us. As a good father provides for his children, so God provides for His own.

I’m still trusting in the heart of God when I can’t see His face or feel His hand. I know He’s there because He’s said He won’t leave. Speak, Lord, for your servants are listening.

The Difference Between Legalism and Holiness

The Difference Between Legalism & Holiness

A lot of people chant, ‘I’m just not into legalism. We have freedom in Christ!’ But what they mean is they want to sin without guilt. That’s not freedom in Christ. That’s sin. That’s slavery. That’s not freedom. Read the New Testament!

(Jokingly) But I love legalistic Christians. I always want more of them as a pastor because they run churches: they give, they tithe, they show up, they feel guilty if they don’t show up. Some pastors preach against Pharisees – but give me 20 Pharisees – I can create a church movement out of that!

Seriously though – the call to holiness has been lost by our generation. We need to recapture the beauty of a holy life. Calling people to obedience to Jesus and calling sin ‘sin’ can be done graciously, thoughtfully, in a nuanced manner, but it is not something to be ashamed of. You’ll get accused of being a legalist but remember – you’re going to stand before God one day” (John Mark Comer).

My own take is that legalism operates out of a “have-to” mentality. I have to tithe. I have to read my Bible. I have to pray. I have to evangelize. All these things make me a better Christian. All these things will cause God to love me more.

Holiness is more of a “get-to” mindset. Because God has blessed me, I get to tithe. Because God has given me a revelation of Himself, I get to read my Bible. Because God has made a way for sinners like me to go from death to life, bondage to freedom, sorrow to joy, I get to evangelize.

Nothing I do can make God love me more. Nothing I do will make God love me less. Because God loves me, I live not out of a license to do whatever I want, but I live to please the One who was pleased to lay down His life for me. That’s the difference.

Like a Dream

Remember when the Eternal brought back the exiles to Zion?
    It was as if we were dreaming—
Our mouths were filled with laughter;
    our tongues were spilling over into song.
The word went out across the prairies and deserts,
    across the hills, over the oceans wide, from nation to nation:
“The Eternal has done remarkable things for them.”
We shook our headsAll of us were stunned—the Eternal has done remarkable things for us.
    We were beyond happy, beyond joyful” (Psalm 126:1-3, The Voice).

We had our very first worship service today in our newly renovated, fully paid for building. It really was like a dream. I kept expecting to wake up and find myself going to the old campus.

But God knew. Even before The Church at Avenue South was a dream in the minds of those who had a goal of reaching the city of Nashville for Jesus, God saw this day. God planned this day.

Long before creation, God orchestrated that one day there would be a church that met on the hill overlooking the intersection of Elliott and Acklen, a virtual city on a hill.

For a while, it didn’t seem possible. We were told that there was nothing available and even if there was, we couldn’t afford it. Some developers would swoop in and pay in cash way more than we could hope to match.

Then we found the property and ran into red tape. For a while, it seemed improbable. I was beginning to think we’d never get the necessary paperwork to even get started on the renovations and additions.

But God showed up. Any time you see a passage in the Bible that starts with “but God,” then you know something good is about to go down. Something amazing. Something miraculous.

Every time we meet, we are standing in the faithfulness of God. We are standing on the promises of God — literally as many of us wrote Scripture on the floors and walls before the carpet and pain went in.

Hudson Taylor said it best: “There are three stages to every great work of God; first it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done.”

I’m reminded of something I heard at another church: what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

I can look back and see the hand of God all over this new property, starting on day one. I can’t wait to see what God will do in the weeks and months and years to come at 901 Acklen Ave.

Wanting and Willing

What follows was originally penned by Elisabeth Elliott. It speaks to the distinction between wanting to obey and willing to obey. The key is that you obey even when you don’t feel like it. You do the acts of love and then the feelings of love will follow:

“We don’t always have complete control over what we want to do because ‘wants’ are determined by circumstances, feelings, other people, social climate, times in which we live. Nobody ever wanted a pair of Reebok tennis shoes before Reebok tennis shoes were invented. The fact that you want it doesn’t mean you go and buy it. It’s a matter of ‘willing’.

The same thing is true of the will of God. We can determine to will to do the will of God. It’s a conscious choice. You may not w’ant’ to do what you know God wants you to do, but you can will to do what He wants you to do.

Don’t ever allow the devil to take you in with the argument, “You gotta do what you gotta do because if you do something that you don’t wanna do or you don’t do something that you wanna do, You’re being a hypocrite.” That’s rubbish! Do you think a mother changes a baby’s diaper only when she wants to, when she feels like it? No, she does it when the baby’s diaper needs to be changed. She WILLS to do it. It has nothing to do with whether she feels good about it.

Here is a poem I came across:

[ I believe the author was Anna J. Graniss.]

“I saw a little child
With bandaged eyes
Put up its hands
To feel its mother’s face.

She bent and took
The tender, gropy palms
And pressed them to her lips
A little space.

I know a soul
Made blind by its desires
And yet its faith keeps feeling
For God’s face.

Bend down, O Mighty Love
And let that faith
One little moment
Touch Thy lips of grace.”

The same thing as what our loving God does. Even if we are made blind by desires, the things that we want–yet faith–which is a willed act, keeps feeling for God’s face. And when we will to come to Him, will to seek His face, then He in tender love reaches down and takes our hands and leads us to Him.

George McDonald said, ‘f I felt my heart as hard as a stone, if I did not love God, or man, or woman, or little child, I would yet say to God in my heart, ‘Oh, God, see how I trust Thee because Thou art perfect and not changeable like me. I do not love Thee. I love nobody. I am not even sorry for it. Thou seest how much I need Thee to come close to me, to put Thy arm around me, to say to me, ‘My child’. For the worse my state, the greater need of my Father Who loves me.’

If anyone feels he/she has no religious feeling whatsoever, but still desires God, believe me, the Father waits for your slightest move in His direction and He will meet you” (Elisabeth Elliot).

The Last Sunday

There’s something a little sad about last things. Even if you know something better is coming, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be sad about the ending.

I got a little emotional singing the Doxology for the last time at The Church at Avenue South’s last service at 2510 8th Ave S. I know the new campus on 901 Acklen Ave will be so much better in so many ways, but it’s hard to deny 10 years of history.

As my pastor reminded us all, when we set out to plant a church in the Melrose/Berry Hill area of Nashville back in 2013, many “experts” said we’d never be able to find suitable property. Even if we did, we’d never be able as a church to compete with other bidders or afford space to accommodate our needs.

But God. That’s how all the best stories start. God showed up. A property opened up that was exactly what we needed at the time. The owner was the son of a pastor. His name was Gabriel. Does it get any more God-ordained than that?

Fast forward 8 or so years later and we’re looking for a permanent home. Again, those in the know said we’d never find it in the area we felt called to serve. But God stepped in again. A church half a mile away had relocated to Hermitage and wanted to sell the property to another church to keep the gospel presence intact in the neighborhood. They left money on the table to sell to us versus selling to a developer.

God’s fingerprints are all over the move, yet it’s still a goodbye. We’re saying goodbye to a building where so many God-moments have taken place. We’ve seen God show up time and time again. So many of us (including me) are different people than we were when we first walked into 2510 8th Ave S. We are more like Jesus.

There are not many left from those early days in 2014, but everyone who has been in the building for 10 years, 10 months, 10 days, or 1 day has a story to tell about how God met them in that place.

May there be many more stories to tell in the years to come at 901 Acklen Ave.

The Mosaic of Community

This is most likely a repeat, but I’m too tired for original thought, so I’m posting something from Henri Nouwen that spoke volumes to me about the importance of community and how we together reflect God and make Him visible in the world:

“A mosaic consists of thousands of little stones. Some are blue, some are green, some are yellow, some are gold. When we bring our faces close to the mosaic, we can admire the beauty of each stone. But as we step back from it, we can see that all these little stones reveal to us a beautiful picture, telling a story none of these stones can tell by itself.

That is what our life in community is about. Each of us is like a little stone, but together we reveal the face of God to the world. Nobody can say: ‘I make God visible.’ But others who see us together can say: ‘They make God visible.’ Community is where humility and glory touch.”

I think stained glass window work essentially the same way. They are made up of bits of broken glass that only make sense when fitted together into a whole. We are that mosaic and that stained glass window that tells the story of God’s love for His people. That’s why community matters so much.

Beauty from Ashes

“To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair” (Isaiah 61:3, NLT).

On my weekly Radnor Lake hike, I saw something that took a minute to register. There were these beautiful yellow flowers growing out of a pond of green scum. If I knew anything about botany, I could tell you what kind of flowers or maybe what kind of green scum was covering the pond.

I do know that what stuck me is that out of something I perceived as ugly grew something that I saw was beautiful. But isn’t that just God’s way?

The prophet Isaiah speaks about God bringing beauty from ashes. I honestly can’t think of anything more hopeless than ashes. Ashes are what’s left after the destruction of fire. There’s literally nothing left to restore.

But God can take these ashes and turn them into something beautiful the same way He could take a valley of dry bones and make them into a living army.

I heard a pastor say once that what seems impossible for us isn’t even remotely difficult for God. That means even the most hopeless of circumstances can be transformed into the most amazing outcomes. He can make miracles from mud (just ask the blind man Jesus healed).

It’s easy to forget God’s goodness when you’re staring at a pile of the ashes that are what’s left of your life. But God can turn even those into something beautiful, something better than before, something that will always be a reminder of God’s faithful love for you.

Balloons

“Sharing what a dear friend once posted:

A professor gave a balloon to every student, who had to inflate it, write their name on it and throw it in the hallway. The professor then mixed all the balloons. The students were then given 5 minutes to find their own balloon. Despite a hectic search, no one found their balloon.

At that point, the professor told the students to take the first balloon that they found and hand it to the person whose name was written on it. Within 5 minutes, everyone had their own balloon.

The professor said to the students: ‘These balloons are like happiness. We will never find it if everyone is looking for their own. But if we care about other people’s happiness, we’ll find ours too'” (William Groce).

I think that’s what the goal of evangelism and missions really is. It’s to help people find true joy and happiness in Jesus. The purpose of this Christian life is to glorify God, love Jesus, and love others. In other words, you get fulfillment when you help others find theirs.

Jesus said it to the effect that if you work to save your own life, you lose it, but if you lose it by giving it away for others, you actually gain it in the end. The best way to rediscover joy is selfless service and helping others find joy.