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Things I Love 46: A Terrible Mystery

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“What a terrible mystery
How I searched for the key
To unlock your guarded heart
And set your love free
What a beautiful dream
I tried more than anything
To unlock your heart
And set your love free
A terrible mystery” (The Choir)

“How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are)

“Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don’t numb themselves to really living” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I keep returning to this well of thanksgiving because it is there that I find life. I don’t mean blood pumping through my veins, breathing in and out kind of life. I mean the kind of life that consists of more than just existing, but being fully enveloped in and aware of God in each moment. The life that sees the rainbow through the rain clouds, the sun behind the dark night, and the joy behind the thousand daily heartbreaks and little dream-deaths we face each day. Joy is being truly awake and alive to the good in everything, even the worst of circumstances, knowing that the Father will work out all these things for the best possible good.

1,431) Muggy days that make the coming crisp days of autumn all the more welcome.

1,432) Reepicheep, the bravest of all the talking mice in Narnia.

1,433) Seeing my job as a priestly function of offering my work as a thanksgiving offering to God.

1,434) Having a job to go to, even if it was at 6:30 this morning.

1,435)  That I still love driving my ’95 Jeep Cherokee even after 10 years.

1,436) Taking notes at Kairos tonight on my iPad2.

1,437) Having the best family (which includes blood relatives, and friends both on Facebook and in the real world).

1,438) Adam Wheatley and Courtney Cole leading the amazing worship tonight at Kairos.

1,439) My friend Paige who has faithfully led the greeter team and been one of my most supportive friends when I really needed it.

1,440) Signing up again to volunteer for Belmont move-in day for incoming freshmen.

1,441) Finally converted after much kicking and screaming (mostly in the metaphorical sense) to being an Apple guy. All I need now is a MacBook Pro.

1,442) Seeing one of my Romanian friends at Kairos tonight.

1,443) Resuming my lunch walks (even if this one was interrupted on account of rain).

1,444) Wifi when it is working right.

1,445) The movie Notting Hill, even if it’s a chick-flick. It’s a very well-made, well-written chick-flick.

1,446) Not even being the least bit tempted to break my more than 15-month break from carbonated beverages today.

1,447) My scars.

1,448) Singing “All that she wants is to go to Kairos” tonight to the tune of the Ace of Base song, “All That She Wants.”

1,449) When I let God be my defender and justifier.

1,450) Random acts of recycling.

1,451) Tagging these blogs creatively so more people can read them.

1,452) Being around something completely annoying and hearing the character Janice from the TV show friends in her nasal Bronx accent saying in my head, “OH MY GOD!”

1,453) Having such entertaining voices in my head.

1,454) Being reminded that surrender to Jesus is the truest freedom I’ve ever known.

1,455) Knowing that God is more faithful and eager to hear my prayers and answer them than I am to pray them most of the time.

1,456) The calming effect of hearing the rainfall outside.

1,457) Thinking of how very far my driving skills have come since my very first time behind the wheel, terrified out of my mind and driving down one of the busiest streets in Memphis.

1,458) Choosing joy over a bitter and complaining spirit.

1,459) My friend Emily, who also serves in Kairos faithfully each week and who has a true Proverbs 31 kind of beauty.

1,460) The thought of going to bed soon after a long day that started at 5:30 this morning.

Things I Love 21: This Blog Series Is Old Enough To Drink (If It Weren’t a Baptist Blog)

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“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust” (Ann Voskamp).

My list continues at #551.

551) Going back to swing dancing at Centennial Park on July 13.

552) Conversations with people of different faith-traditions where we both learn something new.

553) Embracing my own uniqueness instead of giving in to the pressure around me to fit in.

554) When I finally realized that the song “Father Abraham” was about the Abraham from the Bible and NOT Abraham Lincoln.

555) The joke about what a vegan zombie craves– “Graaaaaaains!”

556) That true belief is active and results in actions– works if you will. It’s not mental assent; it’s putting hands and feet on faith and living it out every single day.

557) That defining what truth is and is not is not up to me.

558) Getting coupons for free Chick-fil-A sandwiches.

559) The random way my brain works and how it makes all my conversations extremely unpredictable yet very interesting.

560) God being so much bigger than my fears and doubts and questions.

561) Knowing that my eternal security doesn’t depend on my skill at playing Candy Crush Saga.

562) Knowing my ultimate hope isn’t in a president or a republic, but a King and a Kingdom.

563) Half-priced shakes from Sonic.

564) The thought of never having to take another math class as long as I live.

565) The movie That Thing You Do!

566) The conversation I had at Best Buy with Jamie (who I will probably never see again) where I completely lost track of time.

567) Chihuahuas that fit into tea cups.

568) Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (is that how the song goes?)

569) The perfect cup of Earl Grey tea.

570) Capturing a magical moment in a photograph.

571) Running through a sprinkler just I used to to when I was little.

572) The uncomplicated faith of a child.

573) Fireworks on the 4th of July.

574) My friend Lara getting married (and me getting an invitation to her wedding to see a prayer of mine getting answered before my very eyes).

575) That I still have 6 months to finish my goal of watching all of the 9 nominees for 2012’s Best Picture Academy Award.

576) Never having to watch Life of Pi ever again– once was definitely enough.

577) Hugs.

578) Every single cartoon featuring that loveable dog named Droopy.

579) How a faithful pet can actually lower your blood pressure and reduce stress.

580) Hearing my cat Lucy snore.

581) Making peace with the past– all of it.

582) Cool Hand Luke– because it is such a great film.

583) Truly worshipping in spirit and in truth.

584) Government square pizzas like they used to have when I was in grade school.

585) All of the people who follow this blog faithfully.

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).

Things I Love 13: Not Written on a Friday Nor on the 13th

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I normally make some witty and socially relevant comment right about now, but we’re skipping that to get to the list. I do want to get to 1,000 before I’m 80. So we’re starting this one at #293.

293) The moment when gratitude wins out over self-pity, hurt, and anger.

294) Knowing I can never go back to the way things used to be but that the future will be so much better.

295) Iced Tazo Tea Lemonade and sympathetic baristas.

296) Condemning words and harsh unforgiving texts no longer will define who I am or wreck my life.

297) The idea that one day one girl out there will not only want to go out with me on a date, but will actually want to spend the rest of her life with me as my wife.

298) Christmasy candles that fill the air with apple and pumpkin spice aromas.

299) I’ve gotten so used to typing instead of writing that I automatically expect to see that red little line under a word when I’ve misspelled it.

300) The word phonetics isn’t spelled phonetically (otherwise it would be spelled starting with an f).

301) Alanis Morissette’s song Ironic contains no actual ironies– now, isn’t that ironic? Don’t you think?

302) Lost hopes restored and broken dreams reborn.

303) Candy Crush Saga– and yes, I can quit at any time.

304) Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

305) My sister, who is much prettier than Joan Jett.

306) Fruit Ninja.

307) Hearing Emmylou Harris sing just about ANYTHING.

308) Someone will read these lists and be inspired to start one of their own.

309) The beauty of seeing a classic film in the high definition format of blu ray and noticing details and textures that even the original movie audiences would have missed.

310) I’m a guy who has Breakfast at Tiffany’s in his top five movie list and am comfortable with that.

311) Still knowing all the words to the Don McLean song American Pie.

312) Knowing just about all the lines from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life.

313) Any movie starring both Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

314) A perfect God using imperfect people to accomplish his purposes in the world.

315) God using nobodies to shame the who’s who and turn the world right-side up again.

316) Even the worst commercials are only 30 seconds long (or on rare occasion, 1 minute).

317) Chillin’ like a villain.

318) Being like Phoebe Buffay from the TV show friends (in personality, not looks, in case you were confused).

319) Cereal at midnight.

320) One day God will wipe every tear from every  eye and everything wrong will be made right again.

321) Being me.

Things I Love 9: This Series Is Getting Completely Redonkulous

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I apologize for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the next installment of this series. Both of you.

I got off track in more ways than one, but now I continue this seemingly neverending series with #192.

192) A cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.

193) Any time I get free food, even if it’s just a free dreamcone from Chick-fil-A (one of the perks of having the app foursquare on my iPhone!)

194) Knowing that even if the worst case scenario actually comes to pass, God’s taking care of me and everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

195) The absolute magic of Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers.

196) Homemade bread.

197) Sweet potato french fries (I recommend Pucketts or The Pharmacy).

198) Knowing my family and friends are praying for me as I write this.

199) Being able to pray the prayer that never fails– Your will be done– and sincerely mean it.

200) Being okay after having my heart broken in a very failed attempt to take a friendship to the next level.

201) That the best things in life really are free.

202) GPS for those like me who are directionally-impaired.

203) Ice cold water on a hot day.

204) Unexpectedly seeing old friends at Kairos.

205) Having peace even in the midst of spectacularly blowing a friendship to smithereens.

206) When technology works like its supposed to.

207) Getting all green lights on my way to church.

208) That I am an heir with Christ and no longer a slave to fear but now possess a spirit of adoption and can cry, “Abba, Daddy” to the God and Maker of the Universe.

209) That low sexy voice you get when ever you have a cold or hay fever.

210) Hearing a favorite song at just the right moment.

211) The effortless artistry of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice.

212) That God hears my feeble prayers– and even my sighs and groans when I don’t have the words.

213) That God can use messes like Moses, Abraham, David, Peter, and (most amazing of all) me.

Things I Love

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I was inspired to create this list by a book I’m reading called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The goal is to see life and everything good in it as a gift from God. So here goes part 1 of the list:

1) The smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

2) Rain on a tin roof.

3) Sunsets on the beach.

4) My family– every single one of them.

5) My friends– all of them, too.

6) Life.

7) Downtown Franklin on a cool Saturday night.

8) The way a new bride glows on her wedding day.

9) The way a new groom’s face lights up when he sees his new bride in her wedding gown for the first time as she walks toward him down the aisle.

10) God’s heart for the orphans and the widows– basically, those without a voice.

11) My cat Lucy

12) Cheg-nog from Starbucks.

13) Chocolate chip cookies from The Frothy Monkey (whether they are truly gluten-free or not).

14) Good music.

15) Good movies.

16) Good books.

17) Savannah, Georgia.

18) Being a greeter every week on the Kairos greeter team with the best people in the universe!

19) My addiction to caffeine.

20) Fitting into size 29 jeans.

21) That my Abba Father is still very fond of me after all this time.

22) True love.

23) The feeling of taking off dress socks.

24) Swing dancing.

25) Ultimate frisbee.

26) Kindness lived out and grace extended.

27) Waking up to a new day with new mercies and a clean slate.

28) The unguarded joy of children over the smallest things.

29) The Advent season with its gaudy decorations and cheesy songs and the reminder of Immanuel– God with us still.

30) That every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

31) That I can fail big and stick around and make ’em wonder why I’m still smilin’!

32) For more lists to come in the future.

Vanilla Blonde Roast Coffee and Thoughts of Marriage

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I officially had my very first cup of non-blended coffee. It was a grande vanilla blonde roast, thank you very much. And yes, I felt ever so grown up drinking it. I may actually turn into a mature grown-up person one day, scary as that thought may be.

Then I got to thinking about marriage. Me the single guy thinking about marriage? Yep.

For years, I felt I couldn’t get married because I felt I’d never be mature enough or ready for all the responsibilities. Now I think maybe those are the very reasons that I’m ready.

I know I will need Jesus in my marriage for it to have even a ghost of a chance for success. I know I will need his strength daily to be the kind of husband and father I need to be. I know how weak and foolish I can be on my own strength.

Maybe the greatest folly going into a marriage is thinking that you’re ready for it. Maybe it’s when you think you can handle the biblical roles of husband and father that you’re most prone to the consequence that follows the sin of pride– namely, a great fall.

I’m not saying I will get married tomorrow or next week. I’ve left that in God’s hands. But I no longer believe that I CAN’T be a good husband or father. I can’t, but Jesus in me can.

I don’t want a typical American marriage. I don’t want to settle for normalcy. I don’t just want to plan for my wedding (and yes, I want to be a part of that); I want to plan for a lifelong marriage. I want a marriage where my wife and I serve together better than we ever could apart. I want a marriage that has a kingdom mission and purpose. I want my marriage to be a living witness to how great the love of Christ is for His bride, the Church.

And I know that I can’t begin to do that on my own. I can’t begin to dream of that on my own. It will take as much of Jesus flowing through me and out of me as I can humanly stand– and then some. It will take me being completely consumed until all that remains is Christ in me, the hope of glory.

All that from one cup of coffee. I may be up until 5 am, but right now I’m feeling mighty fine. Just think what kind of blogs I’ll write when I get hold of a venti cup of coffee.

Another Perfect Night in Downtown Franklin

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There’s a different vibe to downtown Franklin on Thursdays than on a weeknight. It’s more laid back, less crowded, and not nearly as hectic. Best of all, there’s less of a wait in all my favorite places– McCreary’s Irish Pub, The Frothy Monkey, Starbucks, etc.

I ran into some friends tonight– one newer friend who’s in my community group and one friend formerly of the Frankin Theatre who I haven’t seen in quite a while. I even ran into a former work colleague who I hadn’t seen in over a year. It wasn’t like the last time, where everywhere I went I knew at least one person, but it was close.

I made a point to sit on the porch at Frothy Monkey and people-watch. If I were to concoct a perfect spring night, I couldn’t do any better than tonight. Temperature in the low 70’s, breeze blowing, and the sweet scents of spring in the air.

I saw another friend from college who I’ve lost contact with over the years, but she didn’t recognize me. Perhaps, that’s a friendship that was meant for a time, but has served its purpose. Who knows? Only God.

I did a lot of walking and observing. I saw a lot of couples holding hands, a lot of teenagers, a lot of mature folks, and plenty of families. It was a good mix, a good cross-section of life. And for once I didn’t feel like an outsider looking in, but like one of them.

I fit in here. I feel accepted here. People know my face and my name.

Everyone deserves a place to belong, people to belong to, and the feeling of being wanted and loved. In that regard, I am beyond blessed by feeling so loved and accepted and treasured by family and friends.

Most of all, I am increasingly aware daily that I am loved and treasured and accepted by my Abba Father. I pray you know that truth more and more every single day and may it captivate your hearts and minds as it has captivated mine.

 

 

Patty Griffin, Swing Dancing, Sweet CeCe’s, and a Good Night to All

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I’ve fallen in love. There. It’s out there and I’ve admitted it. I am head over heels in love.

With the new Patty Griffin album, American Kid. It’s been playing in my car since I got it last Thursday and I love every single track on it. If you love Americana-style music (or just good music in general), then you MUST go buy a physical or downloadable copy of this album. Not this week, not tomorrow. Now.

I also love swing dancing, because there’s grace in it. I figured out that if you end up where you started with all your limbs intact, you’re doing pretty good. You can fake the in-between stuff if you act like you know what you’re doing and step boldly and confidently. I know all you swing dance instructors are wailing and gnashing your teeth at me right now. No, I will probably never be a professional dancer, but I have lots of fun with it, and that’s the point of it anyway. To have fun.

Sweet CeCe’s, as it turns out, is a fairly good alternative when Starbucks is closed, as I found out tonight. The fact that they stay open until 11 pm on Saturdays is a plus. I had Cheerful Chocolate, which was both cheerful and non-fat, which in my book equals win-win. I certainly felt more cheerful after eating it.

I’m going to bed in a little while feeling very blessed. I’m in a very good place and I can’t take any credit for it. It’s all of grace and it’s only God’s doing. I don’t deserve to be this happy, to borrow a phrase from Scrooge, but lately I just can’t help it. I have joy running out my ears.

So I’m praying God meets you where you are tonight and you know how much he loves you just as you are. May you feel his arms around you and hear him singing songs of joy and peace over you in the night. May you find all the healing and wholeness and restoration that a loving God can bring.

Sleep well, my friends.

Simplicity of Heart

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“Simplicity of heart is its own ticket of admission” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Jesus).

Blessed are those who believe the best in others even when they get hurt. They know they will need someone to believe in them when they don’t deserve it someday.

Blessed are the ones who forgive because they know what it’s like to need and receive forgiveness. And they know what it’s like to need it and not get it.

Blessed are those who trust in the goodness of God even when things happen they didn’t expect and don’t understand. They see that God’s plan is bigger than what they can understand or feel or know.

Blessed are the ones who don’t give up on their friends, even when their friends give up on them. They know that God doesn’t give up on anyone.

Blessed are the ones who fall down and keep getting back up, who fail repeatedly and keep persevering. Theirs is the victory in Christ.

Blessed are the ones in darkness who refuse to give up on the sun that never seems to come, who keep waiting for it and hoping for it, even with weak and faltering faith, because they’ve seen it come up before and know it will again.

Blessed are the ones whose hearts are hurting from loving and losing, because they know that the only alternative to hurting is not to feel at all and to have a heart of stone. They know that weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Blessed are you when everything and everyone tells you to give up and go home, but you won’t quit because you know that God is on your side.

Blessed are the pure in heart.