“The greatest blessing God can give us is to put us in a position where we must trust him. This is our only path to joy. He will do whatever is necessary to disrupt our self-sufficiency and illusion of control” (Jim Dennison).

That doesn’t sound like much of a path to joy to me. I can think of a million other ways to joy other than by having my plans thwarted and my comfortable routine altered. In fact, I’d like very much to continue to live under the illusion that I’m in at least a little bit of control over my life.

But what I want isn’t necessarily what’s good for me. If I had the opportunity, I could eat my weight right now in those Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin-shaped thingies. You know what I mean. They’re like the peanut butter cups, only they’re in spooky shapes.

Anyway, as long as I think I’m in control, I will never seek out God. I will continue to do my daily autopilot where I think about God on Sundays but about me for the rest of the week. I will pat myself on the back and think how good I have it made with nary a thank you to God for actually providing everything that’s good in my life.

But when the job goes away, that’s when I have to look up. When there’s a new normal, that’s when I recognize how much I’ve needed God this whole time. I remember that what I really crave beyond all the toys and comforts is what only God can give me — namely, God Himself.

So thank you, God, for all those disruptions. Thanks for shattering my delusions of independence and self-sufficiency into smithereens. Now I can see beyond my own little made-up pretend world to find You there and to find out You’ve been there all along.