A Doxology in the Dark

“To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of the marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities, and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in darkness” (Brennan Manning).

Man, that’s tough.

It’s easy to give thanks when the sun is shining and everyone I love is doing well. It’s easy when all my traffic lights are green and my bank account is looking healthy.

It becomes more difficult to praise when I’m in between jobs and wondering how I will pay my bills. It’s not so easy to give thanks when the diagnosis comes back and you can’t hear or see anything past the word terminal.

It’s difficult to sing that doxology when every day seems the same and you are no closer to seeing your dreams fulfilled than you were when you first dreamed them. Your prayers seem to bounce off of a sky of bronze where nothing gets through.

But that’s where faith becomes real and hope goes from being a luxury to a necessity. That’s where you learn to hear God’s voice and feel His heartbeat. Even when God is silent, it’s knowing He’s still near and preparing you for what you are not quite ready to hear and to see. It’s not a “no” as much as it is a “not yet.”

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