grace

What I Learned About Grace From Swing Dancing

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I went swing dancing tonight. There was much fear and trepidation at first, and quite honestly, I expected to be a one-and-done and convince myself once and for all that I can not dance.

It started rough. I did well with the lessons part, but once it came to the actual dancing, I panicked and forgot everything. I even was going to use my knee as an excuse not to dance anymore tonight. But a friend convinced me to give it another try. I realized I was stepping too far back at one point and seriously throwing off my rhythm.

Once I got that part corrected, it was like my confidence went through the roof. Or at least to the rafters. I even enjoyed myself.

Then I got to thinking. Swing dancing is more than just doing steps. It takes grace.

Life’s a lot like that. Relationships are a lot like that.

When I have friends who do and say things that I don’t quite understand and seem hurtful, I need to give grace.

When friends seem to withdraw and aren’t as friendly as before, I need to give grace.

When I find myself falling back into old fears and doubts, I need to give myself grace.

Giving grace simply means that there’s more to the story than I know. It means that I would probably do much worse in that other person’s shoes.

So, I plan on going back in two weeks to swing dance again. And I plan to be better at giving grace to those around me, including myself, who need it most.

My question to you is this: who in your life deserves for you to shut them out but who needs grace from you instead? Is it you? Is it a friend who has messed up with you lately? (OK, that’s three questions. I cheated. Sue me)

Grace makes everything more beautiful and is itself beautiful because it is undeserved, unexpected, and always needed.

Once again, I choose grace.

Confession Session #3,908: Friendships And All That Other Stuff

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I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the best at relationships, especially friendships. I tend to either be overwhelmingly friendly or awkward. I think most people have a low Greg-tolerance and after they’ve reached that limit, they have to go home and wash their hair or feed the dog.

I know I overstay my welcome in certain conversations and the other person finally has to go home, put on some Barry Manilow, and lie down for a while. FYI: you can tell me in a nice way to shut up and go away if you need to.

I think I’ve lost a few friendships through being too weird or too goofy or too me. And some relationships have simply run their course and they have served God’s purpose in my life (and hopefully, the reverse).

In the past, I might have obsessed over those and wondered what I could have done differently. I might even have made a fool of myself trying to extend a friendship beyond its natural life.

After all that, I confess that I’m much better than I used to be. I try not to talk so fast and to not always talk about me. I’m learning to listen and not always be thinking about my next response. I’m growing in grace.

Jesus truly has been the friend that’s closer than a brother and he’s teaching me how to be a better friend. A better prayer warrior. A better empathizer. And hopefully, one day, a better husband and father.

So, I’m asking for grace from you. And I’m trying to give it in those moments when you need it. All the best relationships are based on grace and forgiveness and second chances and do-overs.

I believe that what goes around comes around. I also believe that the way you treat others indicates your love for God. People who love God and are secure in God’s love for them can’t help but be loving and forgiving and generous in their relationships.

I know a little of me goes a long way sometimes, so I’ll try not to overstay my welcome. And I’ll give you space when you need a break from me, ’cause there are times I need a break from me (said jokingly).

May we each be Jesus to each other and help each other as we all try to figure out this crazy life business. We really do need each other.

Scars

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I was watching Slumdog Millionaire tonight and the ending got me thinking. By the way, this is a spoiler alert, so if you haven’t already seen the movie and don’t want to know how it ends, don’t read any further.

Jamal, the main character, finds his true love, Nakita, at the train station. She’s trying to hide the scar on the side of her face, but he finds it anyway and gives her a kiss on the scar.

What a perfect picture of faith.

We all have scars we’re trying to hide. Some do a better job, so that you can’t tell they have any. Some don’t do as well because their scars are more obvious and less easily hidden.

We think God will be repulsed by our scars, by the bitter words we’ve spoken, by the horrendous things we’ve done, by the vile thoughts we’ve cherished from time to time. We’re sure that if he ever knew about those scars, he’d want nothing more to do with us. After all, haven’t so many people in our lives treated us that way? People we loved and trusted to be there for us always? They got one look at our scars and couldn’t get away from us fast enough.

I’m thankful every single day that God’s not like that. God seeks us out, and when he finds us, he gives us kisses of grace on our scars. He turns our scars into stories of transformation and amazing grace. Like I heard a pastor say, that one thing you never thought you’d ever confess to becomes the very first line of your testimony.

God appreciates scars because he’s got some of his own. Three to be exact. Two on his wrists and one in his side. They are reminders of the price he paid for you and me.

So maybe scars aren’t such a bad thing after all.

 

Worship Music Perspectives from a Non-Worship Leader

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Worship_Music_Hands_Lifted

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some worship music. Especially a lot of the new songs that have emerged in the last five or so years. I can’t get enough worship music from Passion, Hillsong, Kari Jobe, All Sons and Daughters, and so many other incredible artists who have brought renewed integrity, passion and artistry into worship music more than ever before.

But sometimes I wonder if some of the songs aren’t too me-focused. As in “I’m gonna lift my hands” or “I’m worshiping with all I’ve got” or “My love for you, Jesus, will never stop.” In other words, it’s all about how God makes me feel and how I’m going to respond.

My issue isn’t primarily a theological one. It’s just that I know me too well. I know that some days my faith is vibrant and alive and I can sing songs like these with all my heart and really mean it.

But there are days I’d be much more reluctant to sing these lines. I’ve gone through whole days without picking up a Bible or praying even once. I’ve spent days barely even giving God a thought. My faith has been virtually non-existent at times.

I think lately the worship songs that resonate most with me are the ones focused on what God has done for me. Better yet, the songs that are focused just on God. Sometimes, I need to know that my God is an awesome God. I need to know that my God is mighty to save. I need to know that my God is stronger than any other.

The point is that God is flawlessly faithful. He really is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’ll continue to have my ups and downs, days when I’m on fire and days when I’m ice cold in my faith. God will not. He can’t ever be anything but 100% loving, 100% faithful, 100% mighty to save, and 100% for me.

That’s what I want to sing about. Because most days that’s what I need to hear.

Unexpected Find

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I found something interesting while I was cleaning out one of my desk drawers. It was something I’d written some time before. At least I think I wrote it. Still, I echo the sentiment it contains:

Be radical in serving
Be militant in loving people
Be fanatical in forgiveness and grace
Be sacrificial in worship

I think these things describe Jesus’ earthly ministry. He was all these things and so much more. I also think this is what believers are called to be. Not safe. Not comfortable. Not status quo.

We’re called to be radical, militant, fanatical, and sacrificial. But not in hate. Only in the love of God.

After all, that’s the kind of love that God shows us every single day.

 

 

What Are Christians For?

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I was finishing up season 1 of Downton Abbey when a facebook post caught my eye. It was entitled “A Christian’s View of Downton Abbey.” I had to read, though I feared what the result would be.

My fears were realized. The reviewer condemned the series after watching part of an episode.

I’m not here to say the assessment was wrong. You have the right to your opinion and I have the right to mine. What bothered me was that this is yet another example of how we as believers are known for what we’re against, rather than what we’re for.

I still remember how Christians came out against the Harry Potter books and movies, even though most of them had not read one word of the books or seen any part of the movies. I even saw Christians attack Twilight and try to tie the series to teenagers wanting to become vampires. As if Twilight was the only vampire franchise in town.

How does any of this attract people to Christ? How does any of this show love? I’m all for personal convictions, but I’m not about to impose my personal convictions on someone else. I’m not about to condemn someone else who has different convictions than mine.

I choose to show what I’m for rather than what I’m against. I want people to know I’m for Jesus and all he stands for. That’s love, forgiveness, second chances, repentance, belonging, renewal, and –best of all– life abundant.

I don’t believe in condoning sin or sinful behavior. But I believe in loving the sinner.

Above all, I know how many times I mess up in a single day. I’m not about to pick up a stone to throw at anybody, because I know that I can’t say that I am without sin. I’ve been the recipient of grace from God and so many people over the years and now it’s my turn to pay it forward and show that grace to as many people as I can as much as I can.

This isn’t written by someone who’s figured it all out and is preaching at you from on high. As the old saying goes, “I’m just one beggar trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.” I’m just a sinner saved by grace who fell in love with Jesus and wants every single person to know that.

That’s all.

“Vermont. . . I Mean Tennessee should be beautiful this time of the year, all that snow”

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white-christmas-snow

I really don’t mind cold weather. Or snow. Or even ice.

I don’t mind them as long as I don’t have to drive in them. Or scrape them off my windshield for 20+ minutes, which is what I found myself doing after work tonight.

I’d really like one good snow for the year. Maybe a foot or more. I may be dreaming about getting 12 inches of white stuff, but I’d take even an inch or two. Just as long as I don’t have to drive in it. Especially when it turns to sleet and ice.

It really is fun to watch as it falls and covers the ground. I like watching the earth disappear underneath all those snowflakes. It reminds me of Isaiah 1:18: “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

Snow covers up a lot. It hides dead brown grass, along with the “presents” that the neighbor’s dogs leave in the yard. Everything is a blanket of white. And when the sun comes up, how brilliantly it dazzles.

Grace covers up a lot, too. You and I probably have a lot we wish we could hide. Harsh words spoken, dirty thoughts, petty actions taken. Friendships ruined, families broken, work relationships destroyed. The list goes on and on.

But grace means that when God looks at us, he doesn’t see those things. He doesn’t see your worst moment when you were at your weakest. He doesn’t see the litany of sins that stain your soul.

He sees the blood of Jesus that has washed you whiter than snow. He sees perfection, the very perfection of Jesus. He sees you and calls you his Beloved and says that he is very pleased with you.

Remember that the next time you see snow falling and be thankful for grace and second chances. I know I certainly am.

To Be Liked or To Not Be Liked. . . That Is the Question

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cameronincar1

I have given this a lot of thought. Probably too much, given my tendency to way overthink matters. But here goes.

I’ve decided that it is just too much work to hate anyone. To spend all that time concentrating negative emotions on one person and letting that person dictate your life is tiring. Just thinking about hating someone is enough to make me want to lie down until the feeling passes.

I also believe that life is too short to spend it disliking anyone. I know this opinion is probably one I hold by myself and I don’t ask you to agree with it, but I’m standing firm on this one. You may not get along with every single person, but you can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them grace, because if you haven’t already needed it from someone else, you will one day. I guarantee it.

You have the perfect right not to like me. You don’t even have to have a valid reason for it. It’s your choice and right as an American. You may not like my personality. I may rub you the wrong way. I may occasionally say and do (without realizing it) really dumb stuff that turns you off.

It’s your privilege as a human. It is also my privilege to not return the dislike. It is my calling as a believer to show kindness and the love of Jesus to you. It’s my calling in Christ to pray for you daily and to wish you nothing but the very best.

Sometimes relationships go wrong, whether in the workplace or in social settings or anywhere else, and you will never be able to put them right again. You will always wonder what might have been. But just because that person has vanished from off your radar screen doesn’t mean they’ve vanished from God’s. He still knows where they are and what they’re going through.

So I have a list of people I’m praying for who will probably never know it. That’s okay. I only pray they find a true peace that passes understanding and a lasting joy that nothing can take away. I pray they find Jesus to be more desirable than anything else in this world.

And I wish them nothing but the very best.

Freedom and Other Thursday Randomness

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dog with gate open

I don’t understand a lot of what happens. I don’t understand why people act the way they do. I don’t know why I act the way I do half the time.

But I do know this.

The best kind of freedom is freedom from the expectations of others. The freedom from being a slave to whether someone else likes or doesn’t like you. The freedom to know and be your truest self, regardless of who sees or responds.

I’m not there yet. Maybe you’re not either. I have a strong feeling many people wish they were there, but aren’t just yet. It’s a precious few folks who find this kind of freedom.

People come and people go. You never know who will show up and who will leave. You never know who will be your friend and who won’t. You just have to trust God daily and cherish the people he brings into your life while they’re there.

Sometimes, when my life feels most unstable, that’s when I appreciate the most God’s unchangingness– how he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His promises are true yesterday, today, and forever, too.

Cling to the eternal and let what is temporary go. Or, as Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

I’ve always loved that. And that’s what I intend to do, God willing and with God’s help. And today is one of those days when I need an extra helping of God’s help.

I’ve been told that God helps those who help themselves. But if we could help ourselves, we wouldn’t need God’s help in the first place. I think it’s more like this. God helps those who know they can’t help themselves, who have tried and tried and failed so many times before only to end up back where they started. Who know that they are poor and wretched and miserable and blind and needy without God. The poor in spirit.

Lord, may we fall into your grace and find that it is more than sufficient.

Amen.

What to Wear This Holiday Season

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“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it” (Col. 3:12-14, The Message).

No, this is not a fashion blog. It’s more of an attitude-adjustment kind of blog.

The holiday season is vast approaching. Some are looking forward to traveling and seeing relatives, many of whom you only see on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some are dreading the awkward conversations and the even more awkward silences that are just as much a part of the family tradition as stuffing your face with turkey and gathering around the TV for the ol’ football game.

Maybe this season, try something different. Put on compassion. Instead of being so exasperated with THAT relative who gets on your very last nerve, try to understand why he or she is that way. Maybe try to see things from his or her point of view.

Try grace. You know you’ve been obnoxious and annoying at times. You know you’ve put your foot in your mouth a time or two and said some things you’d prefer were never brought up again. Ever. So when someone else annoys or upsets you with an offhand comment that comes out wrong, be forgiving.

Try humility, remembering that the other person bears the image of God just as much as you do. Remember that you were just as much in need of forgiveness and grace as the other person.

If all else fails, eat as much turkey as possible. With all that tryptophan running through your system, you won’t care anymore what anybody says. Plus, you can’t really say anything stupid with your mouth full.