Back to Loving Being Me

IMG_0131

It really is okay to love yourself. After all, the Bible does say to love your neighbor as yourself and you can’t very well do that if you’re not too fond of you. I think there’s a kind of false modesty that gets passed around where we have the “aw shucks” mentality and downplay any compliments that come our way. I can tell you for certain that kind of thinking doesn’t come from God or the Bible.

God made you. He created you exactly how He wanted you to be and no matter how many scars and breaks and bruises and messes you may have accumulated along the way, He still loves the work of His own hands– you. No matter how you may have been rejected or friend-zoned by girls or guys, God is enraptured and enamored and captivated by you. He is completely and totally crazy in love with you.

I’m loving being me. I can say that I’m not like anybody else out there. That doesn’t make me odd. That might make me eccentric. What that does make me for absolute certain is unique. There is no one in the whole wide world quite like me, and I like that.

I love that I can be socially awkward at times. I love that I can be overly enthusiastic in my friendliness and sometimes be perceived as coming across a little creepy.  That’s okay. Aside from maybe needing to visit Decaf-land from time to time, I’m fine if not every single person likes what I have to offer. Many people were turned off by Jesus.

I love that when God sees me, He sees Jesus. He sees beauty and perfection and wisdom and strength beyond measure. He sees my very best self, the one only hinted at in my best moments of selfless devotion. He sees the finished product of who I will become.

As of this moment, I refuse to take on myself any names other than the ones He has given me. Not from family or friends. Not from co-workers. Not even from me. I don’t have to be defined by words spoken in frustration or anger or resignation. I am no longer the mistakes I’ve made or the chances I’ve missed or the good intentions coming up short.

I am Forgiven. I am Set Free. I am Redeemed. I am A New Creation. I am Blameless.

Of all the names God has given me, my favorite is this: I am His Beloved Son in whom He is well pleased.

My hope and prayer for you tonight is to let go of all the names you or anyone else has called you out of hate or anger and embrace the name given in love by your Creator and Redeemer and Savior. Listen to Him calling you His Beloved Child. Hear Him singing His delight over you and smiling over you. Let your life be defined by God’s pleasure over you instead of people’s disappointment in you.

I truly hope and pray that you will come to the point where you can truly and honestly say that you love being you.

All Those Celebrity Crushes

alf

It seemed so harmless. You know. The game where you name your celebrity crushes? How can there be any harm in it?

But I started thinking more about it today. Probably more than I should have. After all, one of my spiritual gifts is over-thinking things.

I think the problem is this. When we get involved in those crushes, we are buying into the world’s definition of beauty. And it is a very superficial, surface kind that only goes as deep as the glossy 8X10 paper it’s printed on.

Dr. Michael Easley, one of my favorite teachers, always says, “Don’t let the world teach you theology.” I say, “Don’t let the world define beauty for you.”

Beauty is more than body shapes and skin tones. For me, beauty isn’t what’s on the outside transforming the inward, but what’s on the inside coming out on the outside. In other words, a woman whose heart is at rest and who is comfortable in who she is as a woman will show a kind of beauty that make-up and cosmetics can’t touch. A man who is confident in how God made him and who knows who he is in Christ will have a kind of handsomeness that is more than chiseled abs and sculpted arms.

Beauty is who you are more than what you look like. Beauty is character– joy you can’t contain spilling out of every pore and coming out as kind of a glow. You know it when you see it. And like I’ve said before, you have to look with a different set of eyes to see it. You have to be able to look at others the way God looks at you.

Another thing. Celebrity crushes feed into distorted and unrealistic expectations and standards. Girls don’t want a nice guy. They want a nice guy who looks like Ryan Gosling. Guys want a sweet girl who looks like Kate Upton.

The problem is that no one looks like that. Not even those celebrities. There is always photoshopping and touching up that goes into the image. Not to say that physical attractiveness isn’t important, but hopefully what you find attractive in a person will be kindness and grace as much as looks.

So I’m currently deleting all my celebrity photos. Most of all, I’m going to start praying that God transforms my character into one that will attract the woman He has for me. I’m praying you won’t get so caught up in looking for the perfect man or woman that you miss that imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. I’m praying you will let God choose, for God always gives the very best to those who leave the choice with Him (thanks to Elisabeth Elliot for that one).

I think I’m looking for a face to call home.

 

Choosing to Take That Next First Step

indiana-jones1

“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it” (Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Sometimes, life is about choosing to participate. I know for years I was a passive observer of all that went on around me until I finally got sick and tired of always feeling left out of things. Then I decided to take one of many first steps. 

Part of taking that almighty first step is letting go of the illusion that you can control the outcome– or anything for that matter. In a dance, you have to learn to trust in your partner and in yourself, but ultimately, you have to step out and hope for the best.

First steps involve stepping out of your comfort zone and what’s familiar into the unknown. It’s asking that girl for a date. It’s applying for that job. It’s moving across the country to start over. It’s stepping all over your pride to confess a wrong that may or may not end a friendship.

The funny thing about first steps is that there’s never just one. Life is full of many first steps. In fact, you’ll never get to the place where you’ve taken your last first step.

You know what I said about letting go of the illusion that you’re in control? Well, part of that means embracing the control of the One who is. I like what I heard someone say: you don’t make Jesus Lord of anything as much as you acknowledge that He’s already Lord of everything. That includes those next steps. That includes all the potential outcomes in your life. That includes you.

There is no greater freedom than surrendering your life to Jesus. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Only Jesus knows the real you, even more than you know your own self. And He knows what’s best for you. I can say that I’ve learned the hard way many times over that I do not know better than God what I need. Thankfully, He’s a very patient teacher who still continues to remind me by withholding the good that I think I need for the best that He knows I need.

You never know how much one tiny step can affect. My life has been altered and revolutionized by people who will probably never know how much what they did meant to me. And you will probably never know the transforming effect that one tiny random act of kindness or small step of obedience could mean to another.

What you do (or don’t do) affects more than you. You may step out and fall on your face and the world won’t be any worse for it. But no one who did anything great or who made a difference did so by standing still. The world is waiting for people not to turn it upside-down, but to turn it right-side-up again.

Movin’ On Up (To The East Side)

IMG_1134

Once again, I had the fun privilege of participating in the annual Belmont Move-In Day for incoming freshmen. You couldn’t have asked for better weather, i,e, mid 70’s with low humidity. It was perfect.

I had a blast as usual (this being my 3rd year) and was thankful yet again that the dorm I was assigned to didn’t have six floors. And that I was in much better physical shape than that first year.

I know college is supposed to be somewhat traumatic at first, but I think it’s the parents who are more traumatized than the kids. Most of the freshmen looked thrilled at the new possibilities and the open potential that lay ahead. The dads look mostly stoic and the moms looked to be on the verge of tears. Ok, not really, but that’s how I imagined the scenario playing out when no one else was watching.

Seeing a guy carrying up an old-school non-flat screen TV reminded me sharply of an old TV I dug out of a dumpster. It had the usual colors of a color TV, but it also had a green button that (amazingly enough) turned the whole screen green. I’m not sure what purpose that button served. It did make for interesting sit-com experiences.

That old TV worked for the rest of my senior year at Union University. In fact, it worked up until the day I brought it home. I can say for sure that I got my money’s worth out of it.

IMG_1135

Anyway, I met a lot of amazing people. From some of the Belmont students I met, I can tell you that my hope for the future is considerably brighter. They seem a lot more mature than most incoming college freshmen, Or at least more mature than I was at 19 (who am I kidding? I’m still not all that mature).

I’m praying that God will lead these freshmen to find godly mentors and older students who will walk ahead of them down that narrow road that few find, but leads to so many good things. I’m praying they take risks, go for broke, laugh a lot, cry without shame, and fall in love with Jesus more and more every day.

I’m praying that they will look at the naysayers that tell them that the world is too far gone and beyond saving and headed for hell in a handbasket (apparently, a very large one) and prove them wrong by going out and changing that world, one heart at a time.

IMG_0563

A Perfect Night for Sand Volleyball

happyvolleyball

I had a blast playing sand volleyball tonight. Even though my teams only won once and I sweated like the pig that knows he’s about to be dinner.

It’s not about my mad volleyball skills. In fact, none of us are all that good. Well, maybe one or two. But we have fun and we cheer each other on and we laugh with each other instead of at each other. It never gets overly competitive and no one gets mad at anybody about a bad hit or that occasional moment when someone forgets that they’re in the middle of an actual game.

My favorite to watch (and my new friend) is a girl named Katie. She has an infectious joy and is one of those people who smile with their whole face. It’s hard to not be happy around her. I love the way my friends J.D. and Julie exhibit what a good marriage is and how two married people can be best friends too. Troy is one of the most consistent players who’s as good as any player out there yet able to laugh at himself when he messes up.

wilson

The best part is that we root for each other, even if we’re on opposite teams. I don’t mind losing if I see the people on the other team enjoying themselves and getting in a good hit or two. As long as it’s not a complete blowout.

I love more than anything watching people who get better each time they play and really start believing in themselves. There’s nothing better for somebody than a little taste of success.

I like to think that Jesus roots for His children that way. He knows we’re frail and too often choose badly and fall down. He knows that we still have that old sin nature that sometimes comes out when we make poor decisions and know something is wrong yet  do it anyway.

I heard in church today that we don’t need empathy. We don’t need someone who feels bad with us when we feel bad. What we need is Somebody who knows what we’re feeling but also has the power to do something about it. Somebody who has the power to transform us and our choices.

Jesus is the best because not only does He root for us, but He sees us not as we are but how we could be at our very best. Not only that, but He is changing us into our very best selves. That is, changing us to be just like Jesus.

Things I Love 50: The Last Farewell

island hammock

“Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift” (Albert Einstein).

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself” (Tecumseh).

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness” (John Keats).

“Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

This is the last one. But as C.S. Lewis wrote in The Last Battle, the the end of history was not the end; history itself is but the title page and preface, and after that begins the real story which goes on for ever and where each chapter is better than the previous one. That’s how it is with joy. There really is no end to joy and its gifts for those with thankful hearts and wide-open eyes.

1,551) The good tired feeling after mowing the lawn.

1,552) Hugs from my grandmother.

1,553) Great music from Coldplay and Radiohead.

1,554) Freshly clipped toe nails.

1,555) How perfectly cold water quenches my thirst.

1,556) The Living Water than never runs dry and never leaves me thirsty ever.

1,557) People who “get” me.

1,558) The freedom that comes with forgiveness.

1,559) Finding out that being broke doesn’t mean the end of life as I know it.

1,560) My friend Wendy who is just a facebook message away at all times.

1,561) That post-shower feeling.

1,562) “God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, Before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains. Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us” (Psalm 46:1,MSG).

1,563) Jesus’ promise of rest to those who are weary and exhausted.

1,564) God making me and loving me just the way I am.

1,565) Catfish and hush puppies, all fried.

1,566) Relaxing in a jacuzzi.

1,567) Liking me for me and being good with being a nice guy.

1,568) Knowing when to hold ’em, knowing when to fold ’em (like Kenny Rogers sang).

1,569) My very sleepy yet very comforting feline therapist yet again at her job.

1,570) iCloud automatically transferring pictures from my iPhone to my iPad and my iLaptop (just kidding, it’s a Sony Vaio).

1.571) How much better typing out one of these lists makes me feel.

1,572) My dad’s goofy but totally lovable dog, Molly.

1,573) My goofy and random sense of humor.

1,574) My impressive t-shirt collection.

1,575) People who wait until they are married before living together (which is so rare these days).

1,576) Planning up a Delilah playlist of cheesy love songs on my iPhone.

1,577) The safe recovery of that 16-year old girl Hannah who had been kidnapped.

1,578) All news stories that have happy endings.

1,579) Friendly neighbors.

1,580) Credence Clearwater Revival.

1,581) The photo frame option on my iPad that turns it into . . .wait for it. . . one of those electronic photo frames.

1,582) Stepping out of a muggy summer day into air conditioning.

1,583) People who not only speak their faith but live it out.

1,584)  The car KITT from the old TV show Knight Rider.

1,585) Seeing pictures of healthy newborns from friends and family on Facebook.

1,586) Taking a spoonful of local honey that’s supposedly good for my allergies but so good to me.

1,587) That girl’s smile in the picture that I used for one of my blogs. I’ll probably never see her again but I won’t ever forget that smile.

1,588) John Mayer’s lyrics.

1,589) Checking out the newest smart-phones in the stores (even though I’m perfectly content with my iPhone 5).

1,590) Looking forward to my next coffee and conversation outing.

1,591) Knowing all my family and friends are safe and sound for the night.

1,592) Real and authentic conversations about life and faith.

1,593) Having all my needs supplied out of God’s glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

1,594) Perfect love casting out fear.

1,595) That Jesus isn’t safe, but He’s good.

1,596) One day going overseas on a mission trip.

1,597) Having no regrets about following Jesus.

1,598) “For to me life is Christ, and death is gain” (Phil. 1:21).

1,599) Having many local coffee spots to check out in the next few months.

1,600) Every second I’ve spend writing these lists over the last couple of months.

I hope these lists have inspired you to start list of your own where you name those things you’re thankful for that you love. Not necessarily the monumental or earth-shaking things, but even the tiniest of things that make you smile or make your day a little brighter. It has been so much fun writing these and I thank you for reading them. God bless.

Things I Love 36: Just Another Day

island hammock

“I am a hunter of beauty and I move slow and I keep the eyes wide, every fiber of every muscle sensing all wonder and this is the thrill of the hunt and I could be an expert on the life full, the beauty meat that lurks in every moment. . . . I hunger to taste life” (Ann Voskamp).

“All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends” (Ann Voskamp).

“‘Wherever you are, be all there.’ I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I’m sharing a little secret just between you and me and the internet. When I can’t think of anything else to write about, I’ll be going back to this well. My well of thanksgiving. It’s deep, so deep I can’t see the end of it and it never ever runs dry, no matter what the season or the weather. I can choose to ignore it or to replenish myself by going to it time and time again and drawing from the life-nourishing waters of gratitude and joy and (best of all) eucharisteo. So, I’m lowering my bucket slowly and starting at #1,071.

1,071)  Whenever I get to hear my friend Parker Bradley teach and impart his gift of biblical wisdom.

1,072) That while the devil knows my name but calls me by my sin, God knows my sin yet calls me by name (stolen from Pinterest).

1,073) Having new friends and new memories from this week’s VBS at Set Free.

1,074) My iPhone now has 850 songs on it and enough variety to drive a left-brained person batty.

1,075) Experiencing life through all five senses of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell.

1,076) Warm fleece blankets on a cold winter’s day.

1,077) The way my sister’s dog Ellie practically dances on her hind legs whenever she sees me.

1,078) Having said dog asleep in my lap as I write this list.

1,079) Being on level 47 in Candy Crush Saga.

1,080) Having Thursday nights set aside as my weekly downtown Franklin nights.

1,081) Finally finding my “lost” book of Emily Dickinson poetry.

1,082) The biopic on the life of St. Francis of Assisi called “Brother Sun, Sister Moon.”

1,083) Being able to visit my 88-year old grandmother in her assisted living apartment.

1,084) Appreciating a really expensive car like a Lamborghini but not wanting or feeling the need to own one.

1,085) That Christ is strongest when I’m at my weakest.

1,086) All 1,078 blogs that I’ve written in just over 3 years of blogging.

1,087) This, the 1,079th blog.

1,088) Not being defined by a job (or lack of one).

1,089) How my sister’s dog and my cat get along so well.

1,090) That new haircut feeling.

1,091) That the place where I get my haircut is right next door to a Starbucks.

1,092) Playing a game of Apples to Apples where the players don’t take it so literally and seriously.

1,093) Leftover pizza.

1,094) Another slow and calm Sunday afternoon.

1,095) Reading books like Foxes’ Book of Martyrs and seeing so many example of what people endured for and because of the love of Jesus.

1,096) Good fired-up black gospel preachin’!

1,097) Almost 2,000 years of believers leaving a legacy of love for me to follow.

1,098) Fortune cookies at Chinese restaurants.

1,099) Being able to get the weather forecast on my iPhone.

1,100) The New American Bible translation.

1,101) Adam and Ashley leading worship at the 11:11 service.

1,102) My well-disguised coffee concoctions with 20 percent coffee and the rest made up of creamer and sugar.

1,103) Trapper Keepers.

1,104) That there’s nothing and no person and no situation God can’t use for His glory and my good.

1,105) Being alive today.

Things I Love 31: That Black Horse and Those Cherry Trees

island hammock

Going through some boxes, I found my old merit badge requirement book from when I was a Boy Scout. I didn’t realize it at the time, but life was so much more simple then. Relationships were definitely less complicated. I had a lot less to worry about, thanks to loving family who took care of my needs and left me free to enjoy my childhood. And cartoons were better back then. Just saying. On that note, I move on to #906.

906) Homemade bread with homemade jam.

907) Finishing a game of gin rummy with a positive score.

908) A sense of belonging and being wanted.

909) Those people who care enough about me to actually make time for me in their lives.

910) Grape jelly.

911) When someone sees you at your worst and chooses to stick around and love you in spite of the darkness.

912) My vintage California Raisins beach towel.

913) Peach and/or blackberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

914) Really old hymnals.

915) All the Cosby Show episodes before Denise left the show.

916) Resting in the greatness of my Savior’s loving heart.

917) The peace that comes with true surrender.

918) Letting go so that my open hands are ready to receive something better.

919) Embracing the mystery of God in all His love and holiness and not just the parts I understand or that make me feel warm and fuzzy.

920) Another good night of fellowship with the Green Hills Community Group.

921) Making Thursdays my designated downtown Franklin night.

922) Being okay with unresolved tension and the cliffhangers in life.

923) Laying in my bed in the dark late at night listening to good music.

924) Taking my shoes off and wading through the creek at Crockett Park.

925) The relief of Aloe Vera on sunburn.

926) Taking a spoonful of local honey to help with my allergies.

927) Cake batter.

928) Being alone but not lonely.

929) Movies like Gladiator and Braveheart.

930) Taking naps on the couch.

931) When it’s there’s still daylight after 8 pm.

932) The way my grandfather told the best stories.

933) When pants that used to be too tight are now too loose.

934) Not having to write in cursive anymore if I don’t want to.

935) That I’m not fighting for victory but fighting from the victory Jesus has already won.

936) That moment when I’m hopelessly lost and I see a familiar landmark and realize I know where I am.

937) Trying to wrap my brain around the concept of eternity.

938) The prayer I learned from Brennan Manning that I repeat daily– “Abba Father, I belong to You.”

939) Sighing the deep sigh of contentment at close of day.

940) That face.

SONY DSC

Things I Love 30: That’s The Way Love Goes

island hammock

“Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perserverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?” (Ann Voskamp)

“The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” (Ann Voskamp)

The big 3-0. That’s how many blogs I’ve written in this series. It seems like only yesterday that I was writing the first one. Actually, it was more like three weeks ago. Maybe four. But here I am yet again, starting out with #871.

871) Still having peace and joy after being defriended on Facebook for no apparent reason (at least none that was given with no chance to correct whatever I did wrong).

872) The comfort of chocolate ice cream.

873) That Aslan is on the move.

874) A surprise visit from a friendly neighborhood cat.

875) Hanging out with my sister when it’s just the two of us, even if it’s at Michael’s.

876) Lucy the Wonder Kitty half-asleep and purring in my lap.

877) Those times when God reminds me gently that He is all I really need.

878) Salted peanuts.

879) Being able to let go and move on.

880) Seeing pictures of my friends John and Michelle’s new baby and knowing she will be loved.

881) The way my old dog Murphy used to sigh with contentment at the end of a long day.

882) Being an Eagle Scout.

883) Adele’s voice.

884) Having a great weekend to look forward to.

885) Not giving a . . . well, crap about what other people think anymore.

886) The tender yet relentless pursuit of the Father for His children (including me).

887) My coffee table book of Ansel Adams photography that I picked up at an estate sale for $5.

888) Red Velvet anything.

889) God using people like the Apostle Peter and the Apostle Paul.

890) My big book of Vincent Van Gogh artwork.

891) Friends who refuse to give up on other friends.

892) That last bit of sleep just before I have to wake up in the morning.

893) My friend who recently moved to Orlando and who is one of the sweetest kindest people I’ve been blessed to know.

894) Visions of lambs lying down with lions and being unafraid.

895) Red kool-aid. As long as it’s not during VBS.

896) A really good foot massage.

897) Running water, indoor plumbing, and all those other things I take for granted that half the world would love to have.

898) My very swanky Mr. Rogers t-shirt.

899) When I stop trying to define who my neighbor is and start trying to be one.

900) Big Red gum.

901) That I’m down to less than 100 things I love left. Maybe

902) Finding the perfectly random pin on Pinterest.

903) Google Chrome (much more than Internet Explorer).

904) Purple stuff (way more than Tang).

905) 10,000 years to sing of 10,000 reasons to bless the Lord.

Things I Love 25: I Feel Like I Should Celebrate With Some Grape Juice or Something

island hammock

I read something that actually made me laugh out loud. It said something to the effect that if life doesn’t hand you water and sugar to go along with your lemons, your lemonade is really going to suck. Literally. As far as this whole series of things I love, hopefully I’m taking the proverbial lemons of life and adding the sweetness of grace to make yet again proverbial lemonade. Which tastes much better than Country Time Lemonade, by the way. So I’m starting up again at #691.

691) The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

692) Actually looking forward to my Brentwood Baptist Church Life Group (or Sunday School class if you’re over 30 and don’t quite get the hipper church lingo yet).

693) All the waiters and waitresses at McCreary’s Irish Pub who always make me feel so very welcome and at home.

694) My sister’s dog Ellie who is the sweetest and friendliest dog on the planet.

695) Not tossing and turning half the night.

696) The comfy leather chairs at Starbucks.

697) Rainbows after a thunderstorm.

698) Hearing chirping birds again after a long rainy spell.

699) Catching old episodes of Family Ties.

700) Feeling welcomed in a group.

701) Making others feel welcome in a group.

702) Being able to play the music on my iPhone through my car and charge my phone at the same time.

703) That I’m reading The Chronicles of Narnia again for about the 15th year in a row.

704) Being able to plug in my iPhone and hear GPS directions through those same car speakers.

705) Those cheezy episodes of 21 Jump Street.

706) Eric Metaxas’ amazing biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

707) The way my cat Lucy often poses like a supermodel.

708) Wondering about things like if animals could talk before the Fall.

709) Revolutionary War-era biographies.

710) Lawn darts.

711) My never-ending hunt for bowling shoes at thrift stores.

712) Badminton and my awesome badminton racquet.

713) Jesus.

714) The times when I trust in the Lord with all my heart instead of leaning on my own understanding.

715) Chocolate covered raisins.

716) Bond. James Bond.

717) The godly example my brother-in-law Steve is setting for his family.

718) When people talk about turning 30 like it’s the end of the world and I feel like I’m really starting to come alive at age 41.

719) Old people who don’t act their age.

720) That time a friend of mine walked all the way over from Chipotle to where I was sitting at Starbucks to talk to me.

721) Caramelized onions.

722) Knowing the difference between to, two, and too.

723) My fantastic Glenn Miller collection.

724) When I talk to myself and grin like an idiot because I’m so spectacularly funny.

725) Passing that BMW SUV tonight in my vintage ’95 Jeep Cherokee.