family

Be Encouraged. B-E Encouraged.

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“God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we’re awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we’re alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, The Message).

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read this verse aloud at least once a day for the next five days. Unless you feel really weird reading it aloud, in which case you may read it in your “inside-your-head” voice. You have my permission.

Remember, Jesus didn’t die to give us a get out of hell free card. It isn’t about something that’s waiting in the bye and bye.

It’s here and now. It’s life– abundant and full and overflowing life– right now.

Some of us are having a hard time remembering that right now. Some feel so weighed down by grief or stress or despair that it’s hard to feel alive. It’s hard to live abundantly when you feel as if all you’ve been doing is treading water to stay afloat in the flood.

That’s why Paul tells us to encourage each other. He didn’t say think good thoughts toward each other and have the best intentions to let them know that their in your prayers. No. He said to actively encourage them through any and all means at your disposal, whether that be pen and paper, face-to-face affirmation, smoke signals, social media, or morse code.

Who needs your encouragement most? Who is God putting on your heart? Your real mission is to encourage that person in a real and tangible way in the next 24 hours. Go!

 

Looking for the Pause Button

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Sometimes, I wish life had a remote control, like in that Adam Sandler movie where he fast-forwards through the boring parts of his life.

Only I wouldn’t be looking for the fast-forward button. I’d want to pause my life.

Today, I went to the funeral of a friend’s dad. I hadn’t seen or talked to him in a long time, but I remember him as being a quiet, gentle man who loved his God and his family and who also happened to own the first PC that I had ever seen.

I saw him lying in the coffin, looking like a perfect wax replica of a person. Then I remembered that I was looking not at the man, but at the shell. The moment he breathed his last he was instantly in the presence of Jesus, fully alive and healthy and happy.

I heard where two Briarcrest students who were set to embark on their senior year of high school died Friday at the hands of a drunk driver who had four DUIs in the last five years.

There’s too much sadness and loss in the world. Too many people had to say goodbye to the ones they loved, while more than that never got the chance.

I sense more than ever how precious and fleeting this life is. I understand more how important it is never to take anyone in your life for granted.

I’m thinking about the quote from the movie The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel– “There’s no present like the time.”

I recall a pastor who said that at best this life is like a clean bus station. You don’t set up a bedroom suite and move all your belongings into a Greyhound terminal, because it’s only a stop along the way toward your final destination.

This life is so brief because this is not our final destination. Heaven is. As much as I keep forgetting, as much as I want that pause button to work, I know that I can’t stop that second hand from racing clockwise toward another tomorrow.

I can only choose to live each moment fully and to be fully present to every person in every place at every moment that I’m given. I can know that in God’s economy nothing is ever wasted and the good a person does follows after them. Your legacy will far outlive you and in the end, it won’t be what you did for a living or who you knew, but who you were and what you did with what God gave you.

 

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Epiphany

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sbemh

“There’s no present like the time” (a great line from The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

My life hasn’t gone the way I planned. In fact, for most of my life there really hasn’t been a plan. My first job when I moved to the Nashville area fell into my lap in a stroke of providence and blessing.

I can say that while I haven’t always gotten what I wanted, I find I always got what I needed just when I needed it.

Tonight, I saw the Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, the sequel to . . . you can probably figure out the title to the first movie. It was just as good and clever as the first.

I remember when I heard the line that I quoted, my brain wanted to reverse it and have it say, “There’s no time like the present.” That’s how I’ve always heard it and that’s what I hear when people are wanting you to act NOW and buy NOW and decide NOW.

But truly, there is no better present than the time you’re given. There’s no better present than the present. You only get one today and never a do-over on yesterday (unless you happen to live inside the movie Groundhog Day).

So take it all in. Be sure to pay attention. For me, it means noticing the beautiful cloud formations in the sky on the way to work and actually paying attention to the scenery on the drive. It means stopping for a moment to breathe a prayer along the lines of “Thank You, God, for this life, and forgive me if I don’t love it enough.”

I’m still learning never to take anything (or anyone) for granted. I hope I wake up tomorrow, but I can’t guarantee that I will because it’s not promised. The same goes for all my family and friends. Even my cat Lucy.

Savor your life while you live it. Don’t waste your time during the week pining away after the weekends and holidays and summer vacations. Each day is a gift that is good for only 24 hours and has a no-return policy. Open it.

 

Relationships and Such

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I had some random thoughts on relationships based on what I’ve been observing on my social media outlets. I thought I’d share some of them with you. Don’t you feel so very lucky?

1) If you want to date better people, become a better person. You don’t attract what you want, but what you are.

2) In the end, you don’t choose your family, but you do choose to love them because they’re the only family you’ll get and once they’re gone, it’s too late to forgive and reconcile and make things right again. The pain of reconciliation and letting go of your pride is nowhere near the pain of regret and of chances forever lost.

3) The wisest people aren’t the ones who think they know it all, but the ones who know they have a lot to learn.

4) As I’ve said before, the only thing that can truly be your world and fulfill you and make you complete is Jesus. Anything and anyone else– husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters– can’t. To try to make someone your world is to commit idolatry and to place a burden on them that they were never meant to bear.

5) As underrated a virtue as it is, kindness does matter. Long after the six-pack abs and GQ looks have faded, kindness is what will get you through the storms and dark passages of life. Choose a mate who is attractive but more than that who is kind and generous.

6) Now you have that Natalie Merchant song stuck in your head. My work here is done.

7) The old saying is true. You really never understand other people until you’ve climbed in their shoes and walked around for a bit. Until you’ve seen life from their perspective.

8) In the end, it really won’t matter that you worked 60-hour weeks or accumulated trophies and awards and accolades or made lots of money. What will matter are the people whose lives you’ve touched. All that you can take with you is what you’ve given away.

Thanksgiving for the Other 364 Days

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It’s Thanksgiving. I think I ate my weight in turkey, dressing, and all of the other usual Thanksgiving food groups. As I write this, I am in a semi-food coma, complete with tryptophan-induced euphoria. Life is good.

I would be amiss if I didn’t take time to list what I’m thankful for on this day of all days, so here goes:

1) I’m thankful for the noble sacrifice so many turkeys made so that I could eat my weight in deliciousness and probably have to go up a size or two in pants.

2) I’m thankful for having the day off from work so I could revel in my tryptophan high and slip into my usual food coma. Plus, I seriously doubt I would have been able to accomplish anything productive after stuffing my face with with much good food.

3) I’m thankful for all the Thanksgiving-themed episodes of Friends they’ve been showing on TV Land, especially the one with Joey’s thanksgiving pants.

4) I’m thankful that my afore-mentioned vanilla pumpkin pie cheesecake (see the previous blog) turned out to be not only edible, but quite tasty. One might even say scrumptious.

5) I’m thankful that I got to see all my family gathered together for at least one more year. If I got nothing else for the rest of the year, that alone would have been worth it.

That’s my list for Thanksgiving Day 2014.

Thanksliving

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thankful

There truly is always something to be thankful for. Even on Mondays.

When you stop looking at what’s wrong with your life, what you don’t have, and start counting your blessings and finding reasons to be thankful, it changes your outlook. It changes you.

I like myself better when I live out of gratitude instead of comparison or envy.

As much as I look forward to all the food on Thanksgiving, that’s not the best part. It’s not what’s on the table that matters nearly as much as who’s around the table. And besides, people don’t go straight to my hips.

This year, I’ve decided to not just celebrate Thanksgiving, but also Thanksliving, which is a deliberate act of living out of a sense of gratitude.

As one of my new favorite writers says, eucharisteo (that is living out of thanksgiving and joy) always precedes the miracle. I hope so. Still, even without the miracle, gratitude and thanksgiving are the best ways to live.

“The very quality of your life, whether you love it or hate it, is based upon how thankful you are toward God. It is one’s attitude that determines whether life unfolds into a place of blessedness or wretchedness. Indeed, looking at the same rose bush, some people complain that the roses have thorns while others rejoice that some thorns come with roses. It all depends on your perspective . . . .

It does not matter what your circumstances are; the instant you begin to thank God, even though your situation has not changed, you begin to change. The key that unlocks the gates of heaven is a thankful heart. Entrance into the courts of God comes as you simply begin to praise the Lord”(Francis Frangipane).

 

Films About Ghosts

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dee road

“If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts” (Counting Crows)

My dad went to Memphis to finalize the contract on my grandmother’s old  house. She’s been gone for 8 years and hadn’t lived in that house for a very long while, but still it made me a little sad.

I have so many happy memories wrapped up in that place. Just going up that steep driveway can make me feel like I’m 10 years old again going to eat Sunday dinner.  I can picture uncles and cousins who have since passed. I can smell the rolls fresh out of the oven and the roast beef that was always my favorite part of the meal.

I remember walking through all those room once and thinking how small they seemed without the furniture. Or maybe it was the voices of the people that once filled these rooms, their laughter and tears, that made the rooms bigger. Then again, I was smaller, so everything seemed bigger than it really was.

In my opinion. If any place should be haunted, it’s this house. Not with malevolent spirits but with kind souls. My memories of this place are tied up with so many who are now departed that when I walk in these rooms, I almost feel their essence still lingering.

Maybe the people who are buying the house can start their own new memories. Maybe they too can one day look back on this old house with fond remembrances over family get-togethers and meals shared.

I’m thankful for my memories. I’m thankful for family who, while not perfect, loved each other. And me. I’m even thankful for those little gumball things that fell out of that tree in the front yard. I’ve gone blank on what they’re called, but I spent hours kicking those things like footballs over the fence.

I remember we used to all get in the station wagon and drive over there Christmas mornings after I opened all my presents from Santa. I also remember that was where I got my less than thrilling gifts like socks and underwear.

There are still pictures, old and faded, to remind me of these good times. Not all the memories are happy. Some are sad. But each one led me to where I am now and I see how God was working in each one, so I can give thanks, if not FOR all of them, most definitely IN all of them.

 

 

 

 

Keep Calm and Drink Coffee

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Well, it’s Friday. I’m currently house- and dog-sitting for a very well-behaved and gentle dog named Millie.

I’m also reading a very interesting book written by a lady with autism. It’s fascinating to see her thought processes and hear how she sees the world differently than I. It’s also amazing to see how she has basically taught herself how to overcome most of her autistic tendencies.

I still think that ALL of us at some level are fundamentally broken. We all have some kind of phobias or issues that keep us from always acting normal. Some are better at hiding it than others, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are just as broken as the rest of us.

I’m so very glad Jesus didn’t come for the healthy. He came for the sick. The destitute. The abused. The abuser. The lonely. The broken. Us.

In those moments when you feel like you will never be normal and accepted, remember that Jesus doesn’t think you’re normal. He thinks you’re extraordinary.

Lessons from The Walking Dead

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dead

I watch a show called The Walking Dead. It’s not for the squeamish. Yes, there are zombies (referred to as ‘walkers). Yes, there is plenty o’ blood and guts a-flying’ everywhere. Yes, you get attached to characters only to see them killed off.

But I think there are a few life lessons from this show that I’d like to pass on:

1) If these zombies ever took to lifting weights, would they then be “power walkers?”

2) Family matters, even if that family isn’t flesh and blood. It’s better to be with imperfect people who care about you and have your back than to be alone.

3) No matter what face you may present to the public, the truth of who you really are will always come out. It’s no good to fight evil and become worse than the evil you’re fighting.

4) No matter how far you’ve sunk or what you’ve done, there’s always the hope of becoming something better. There’s nothing so bad in people that can’t be redeemed. I happen to believe that God does the redeeming and I am the one being redeemed.

5) If you ever do run into a zombie, make sure you kill the brain. And be sure not to wear anything you don’t mind getting ruined by blood and guts.

I think that covers it for now. I just finished up season 3, which puts me roughly one season behind (so no spoiler alerts, please).

A Prayer for the Weak

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Maybe this is your prayer tonight:

Lord, I feel like giving up tonght. It’s just not worth it anymore.

Whatever I’m desiring most seems always just out of my reach. Right now, it feels easier to quit holding on to that dream of mine.

I want to pray “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” but I don’t even have enough faith for that. I’m bankrupt when it comes to believing.

I’ve just about quit believing that I’ll ever get married. Or have children. Or that the children I do have will ever turn out right. Or that anyone will hire me. Or that I’ll ever be able to work in a place where I come alive instead of counting the hours and minutes until the weekend.

I feel like I’m completely screwing everything up. I don’t feel like anything I do matters or makes the tiniest bit of difference.

I do know that You’re still God. I do know that my impossibles aren’t impossible to You. In fact, they’re not even difficult for You.

I know You are truer than my feelings and though You seem so far away, You’re nearer to me than my next breath.

I don’t know how any of this will work out, but I know You will take care of me. Even if You deny my dreams, it’s only because they weren’t big enough for You.

I declare all these things with a faith that’s barely a blip on the radar screen. A faith that’s as small as a mustard seed. But still I declare.

So here’s me offering all I know of me to all I know of You. Take me and use me in whatever way You want. Let me know You’re near and let me feel in this moment how much You love me.

I surrender.