Death and Taxes

Today’s blog is by a special guest, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. As far as the taxes are concerned, good luck. I got mine done early this year and I’m grateful to have that behind me.

Here’s what Bonhoeffer had to say about the subject of death, expressed better than I’ve ever heard it or read it before:

“No one has yet believed in God and the kingdom of God, no one has yet heard about the realm of the resurrected, and not been homesick from that hour, waiting and looking forward to being released from bodily existence.

Whether we are young or old makes no difference. what are twenty or thirty or fifty years in the sight of God? And which of us knows how near he or she may already be to the goal? That life only really begins when it ends here on earth, that all that is here is only the prologue before the curtain goes up – that is for young and old alike to think about. Why are we so afraid when we think about death? … Death is only dreadful for those who live in dread and fear of it. Death is not wild and terrible, if only we can be still and hold fast to God’s Word. Death is not bitter, if we have not become bitter ourselves. Death is grace, the greatest gift of grace that God gives to people who believe in him. Death is mild, death is sweet and gentle; it beckons to us with heavenly power, if only we realize that it is the gateway to our homeland, the tabernacle of joy, the everlasting kingdom of peace.

How do we know that dying is so dreadful? Who knows whether, in our human fear and anguish we are only shivering and shuddering at the most glorious, heavenly, blessed event in the world?

Death is hell and night and cold, if it is not transformed by our faith. But that is just what is so marvelous, that we can transform death.”

Teachability, Vulnerability, and Constructive Criticism

I hate public speaking. Whenever I had to do any kind of a presentation in class, I got the sweaty palms, mysterious flu-like symptoms (so I could get out of having to speak in public), and a strong desire to be a desert monk who has taken a vow of silence.

Most people are with me on this. I think people are more afraid of speaking in public than they are of dying. I know this to be true, because I found it on the internet, which is the bastion of all things credible and trustworthy. Especially Wikipedia.

I also hate giving criticism. I am a people-pleaser, so I hate to do or say anything at all that might cause tension in the relationship. In the past, my way of giving criticism was easy– avoid it like the bubonic plague.

But I’ve been thinking lately. If there was a way I could be better at something, I would want someone to show me. If I could improve in an area of my life, I would love for someone to tell me.

Criticism isn’t telling someone how bad they are. It’s telling them how they could be better. It’s not “Hey, your feet smell and you are a lousy, no-good blah blah blah,” but “Hey, I notice that you are really making an effort and doing a good job. Here’s a better way you could do this one particular thing. . . . ”

The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love. If it’s not truth, we’re enabling their mistakes and bad behavior. If it’s not spoken in love, then it’s condemnation and more likely to do more harm than good.

The best way to address a problem I see in someone else is to fix it in me. After all, we tend to project our faults onto other people and notice more readily in them the same weaknesses we struggle with (that’s my Union University degree paying off).

Actions speak louder than words, so the best way to change someone else is to tell that person how they are wrong, but to live out the right way. That person may not listen to you and may cut you off in mid-sentence, but you can show them the better way by listening to what they have to say.

The best way of all is to strive to be more like Jesus. If the people in our lives see us living out our beliefs in humility, authenticity, and transparency, they are more likely to listen to what we have to say. As I heard it put, preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.

The Inner Laptop Monologue

 

If you grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons like me, then you remember the ones where the main character was in a moral dilemma. Poof! An angel would appear on one shoulder with heavenly advice, and a devil would appear on the other, urging naughtiness (but not too naughty since this was Saturday morning television in the 80’s).

I imagine in my debate over whether to get a Macbook or a PC laptop that Bill Gates and Steve Jobs magically appeared on either side of me. I’ll leave it to you to decide which of the two is the angelic one. I’m staying out of that one.

I imagine the following conversation:

Bill: “Get the PC. They’re so much more affordable.”

Steve: “Anyone can go for cheap. Go for quality. All the hip and trendy people have Macs.”

Bill: “Seriously, Steve? Like you would know about hip or trendy. But think of this. Everything is so much easier with a PC. You never have problems with a PC?”

Steve: “Ahem. Need I remind you, Bill, about that imfamous Windows 98 debacle? Most people learn to cuss from working with a PC.”

Bill: “So they have to buy PCs more often. But you still end up spending less in the long run. Haven’t you ever heard of a sale?”

Steve: “Sales are for weenies. If someone wants a good product, they’ll pay to get it, whether it’s on sale or not. I could sell umbrellas to a desert mystic.”

Bill: “And such the modest man you are, too. Buy the PC. At least that way you can skip all the crappy parts of American Idol and watch the good parts.”

Steve: “Buy the Mac. Yeah. American Idol is weak this year.”

Bill: “By the way, Steve, aren’t you dead?”

Steve: “Hey, this isn’t my inner monologue. Why don’t you ask this crazy blogger guy to make up his mind about his laptop so I can go rest in peace and figure out how to get reception for my iPhone from six feet under.”

Thanks a heap, guys. That was helpful and informative. Oh wait. No it wasn’t. Guess I’ll just eat some chocolate and call it a day.

 

Your New Name: A Good Reminder from Kairos

In Revelation, Jesus promises that if you hold on to the end, you will be given a white stone with a new name that only you and Jesus know. That will be the name that trumps all the other names you have been given. That name will be your destiny.

What do you call yourself? In those moments when you screw up and make a mess of things, what name do you give yourself? Is it Stupid or Idiot, or one of those names that’s so bad you can’t even say it out loud when you’re alone?

What do other people call you? Are you Lazy or Slow or Hopeless? Do you carry those names around with you like a tattoo ingrained in your brain and you have come to see yourself by those names?

Jesus has come to give you a new name: Beloved.

Where you were once a Failure, you are now Redeemed.

Where once you were a Stranger, now you are Family.

Where once you were an Enemy, now you are a Son or Daughter of God.

Where you were Without Hope, now you are a Child of the Promise.

Where once you were Lost, now and forever you are Found.

Keep these names in your mind. Let them define you and your future. Because these, and not the other names, are who you are from now on.

I am the Beloved of my Abba, and He is very fond of me. So are you.

Ain’t it great?

Musical Memories

For me, picking out the right music for any trip in the car is a big deal. I can’t just pick up any old CD willy-nilly and be satisfied. Sometimes, I’ve been known to hunt down a particular album for hours just because I feel it would make the best possible soundtrack for the places I’m about to go in my car.

Tonight, I went with David Crowder Band’s Sunsets and Sushi. It seems like everytime I hear that CD, I’m immediately taken back to 2004 and to very vivid images of friends I knew back then and a Bible study/worship experience I went to back in the day called Ecclesia.

I can hear certain 80’s songs that take me back to my 8th grade dance. I get pictures of me with my yellow square tie and my bad hair dancing with a girl I’d had a crush on but never had the nerve to talk to. A girl I’ve never seen since, whose name was Lucy (and that’s the extent of what I remember about her).

I hear Silent Lucidity by Queensryche and I am immediately back to the Subway on Exeter Road in Germantown next to the Kroger’s I worked in. I was with yet another girl I had a crush on. This time, it was Carly, who just so happened to live a few streets down from me. I think I may have walked by her street a few (hundred) times, hoping to “accidentally” run into her. It never happened. And no, I don’t remember at all what sub I got that day.

I hear All I Want is You by U2 and my mind immediately goes to the movie Reality Bites and the scene where Winona Ryder is desparately trying to find Ethan Hawke and tell him she loves him. And yes, I still have a crush on her even 18 years later.

For me, music conjurs up images in my mind like nothing else, except maybe the smell of rolls fresh out of the oven or burning candles at Christmas.

For those of you who are music nerds like me, what albums or songs bring back the most vivid memories? Where do those songs take you?

Enquiring minds, i.e. me, want to know.

Laptop Hunting

I’m finally entering the wonderful world of laptop computers. I admit I’m a little green when it comes to shopping for one of these gizmos. I think I may have turned green when I saw the price sticker on one of the first laptops I looked at that was super compact and super skinny and probably had a Tommy Hilfiger designer processor.

I found one I liked, although it was not on sale and the price was a bit steep for me. I think it reflects my personality and would look really good in one of those laptop bags strapped over my shoulder as I walk into a Starbucks to order my mocha latte and sit down to do some existential ponderings over wordpress.

I think I need a laptop. I think the universe is ready for me to have a laptop, ’cause the universe is getting rather tired of waiting on my super-slow desktop to load up my facebook page. Not to mention that extremely annoying hourglass that pops up and causes me to have very un-Baptist thoughts.

Ideally, I would love a Mac, but I’m not quite ready to sell one of my kidneys for technology just yet. Maybe in 5 years, not not now.

So in the meantime I am forced to type my blog on a desktop that may or may not be possesed by Linda Blair and definitely cramps my style. I could be so much cooler and popular with a laptop, not to mention more mobile and more fun at parties.

Just for the record, any typos you find are not my fault. Blame Linda Blair.

Gone With the Wind: Some Observations on a Classic

For starters, I was at the Franklin Theatre to see Gone With the Wind, date-less and under no duress. I was probably the only single dude in attendance. And I was in the front row. We’ll save the discussion on how sad that is for a later blog . . . maybe.

Gone With the Wind is a classic for a reason. It has everything: intense drama, epic romance, witty comedy, heart-rending tragedy, and just plain good ol’ story-telling. Sure, it shows its age a bit. It is not the most politically correct movie with its depiction of the happy slave mentality, among other things.

Both Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler are fairly selfish characters throughout. Rhett is honest enough to admit it, but Scarlett spends most of the movie manipulating others for her own ends without ever so much as acknowledging it. At least at the end, she has a change of heart (or so I’d like to think).

Melanie Wilkes is the true north of the movie. She is the only one that circumstances can’t change. At heart, she is a fundamentally kind person from start to finish. She’s the one all the rest turn to in times of trouble and tragedy. She always knows what to say.

I love the fact that she always thinks the best of others. She gives Scarlett the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s a little naive, but I’d rather chalk it up to grace instead.

The world looks at kindness and calls it weakness. To be meek is to be a pushover in their eyes. But I believe kindness and meekness are true strength, power under control and directed at a better purpose. When you find real kindness in someone, you are drawn to that and you remember that person and their kindness shown to you and you are never the same. You want to pay it forward.

There’s a quote I’ve posted before about that goes along these lines: to be yourself, your true self, when everything around you is trying to force you to be something other, is the most courageous thing you can do. To keep being you when a thousand voices are screaming at you to be like them or to be stronger, prettier, thinner, richer, more popular, or more powerful takes strength. The kind of strength that Melanie Wilkes had.

Yes, I really liked the movie. All 4 hours of it. I will probably see it again in the future, as I own it on blu ray (nerd alert). I love the cinematography, especially the sunset shots. The acting is spot-on and the story is compelling.

I give it two thumbs up and recommend it highly. That’s my lame ending to this blog, because I’m too tired to think of anything witty or clever to end on. Other than I hope you have a good night and may you have eyes to see all the kindness of God lavished on you in the days to come.

Thank you and good night.

For When You Can’t Sleep

Right now, it’s 12:49 am and I’m not even close to being sleepy. Maybe it’s the chicken sandwich I had from Sam’s today (which was great) or maybe the caffeine.

I think it’s just thoughts that won’t lie down and rest until I get them written down.

I think I have to let a dream die.

It was a longshot to begin with and I thought I had already let it go, but now I really am saying goodbye.

I think I always knew that the person I was interested in wasn’t interested in me the same way. At least 99% of me did.

But that 1% kept hanging aroud, hoping against hope, looking for some kind of sign where there were none to be found.

So now I’m officially 100% sure. And I am glad we’re friends. Honestly, that’s enough.

Still, letting that dream die, knowing the finality of it all, is still hard.

God, help me always to guard my heart and to know that all my times are in Your hands.

I trust that You still work all things together for good for those who love You.

Now I think I’ll go and try that whole sleep thing again.

 

Thoughts on Job

When I was little I used to pronounce the book of Job like it rhymed with rob. For Psalms, I made the s silent and called it Palms. I did some goofy things back then and it’s a good thing I’m past all that now (said with very heavy tone of sarcasm).

I read through Job again last night (and now I know it’s pronounced like Jobe as in Kari Jobe, the singer). It was not an easy read for me and most of the time, left me feeling more uncomfortable than uplifted.

In case you’re not familiar with the story, Job is a righteous and wealthy man. Satan taunts God and says that Job is only faithful because God has blessed him so much. “If you take all that away,” Satan told God, “your so-called servant Job will curse You to your face and be done with You.” So God allows Satan to take away Job’s possessions, then his children, and finally, his good health.

True, Job never curses God. Job never abandons God. But Job questions God’s motives and comes very close to maligning God’s character. That’s the part that makes me uncomfortable. Because I have asked some of the same questions and made some of the same accusations toward God.

I never bad-mouthed God in front of anyone or even out loud to myself, but in my head, I would have rants against the seeming unfairness of God’s ways. In my heart, I sometimes felt that God was not really for me and had something other than my best interests at heart.

The truth I have been learning is that God is big enough to handle my questions and accusations. He is not obligated to explain Himself to me. His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts way above mine. That comes with a finite mind trying to grasp what is Infinite.

I love Job’s final response, because it’s what I want to be able to say to God and what I’m striving toward in my daily walk of faith:

“Job answered God: “I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything.
   Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water,
   ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
   made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, ‘Listen, and let me do the talking.
   Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.’
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
   now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I’m sorry—forgive me. I’ll never do that again, I promise!
   I’ll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor.”

God, I know that You are for me, with me, and in me, even when everything I see and feel and think says otherwise, because You promised You would be. If You say it, that settles it– whether I believe it or not.

I do believe. Help my unbelief.

A Letter to Kim Kardashian

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Kim,

I don’t know if you will read this or not. Realistically speaking, I’m pretty sure you won’t, since you probably don’t have time to read blogs by people you don’t know who aren’t famous. But if by some extremely remote chance, you happen to stumble on this quaint little blog, I hope you know I’m rooting for you.

I know a lot of people will look at your decision to start a Bible study and question your motives. They will say you just want to hook up with Tim Tebow or give some other reason why you can’t legitimately want to read God’s Word for its own sake.

I am not one of those.

I hope you read the Bible and find all that God has for you in there. I hope you find God’s love letter to His people, including you, and how much He loved His people and what great lengths He undertook to win back His people lost to sin and death.

I hope you will find that true beauty is in what God says about you, not what some magazine or television producer says about you. God says, “I made you and that makes you beautiful, because I made you in My image.”

I hope you will know that Jesus loves you just for you, not because of what you do or what you wear or who you know. I hope you can find joy in the fact that Jesus looked at you in your worst moments and thought you were still to die for.

I hope you fall in love with God’s Word and want it more than anything else. I hope you are transformed by what you read and that every time you read the Bible, you put it down a different person than when you picked it up. More than that, I pray you will take what you read and live it out in compassion for the needy and love for those whom God loves.

I hope you understand that no matter what you’ve done in the past, God has a purpose for you. He can work in and through you to do some pretty amazing things that will blow you away.

Like I said before, I’m rooting for you and hoping you find the peace you’re looking for.

Signed,

A Ragamuffin who is just trying to tell others about the grace of God that he’s found

PS It’s still not too late, no matter how messed up your life seems right now. Jesus can still turn your mess into something beautiful.