Another Prayer for My Future Wife

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I have an idea of how we will meet. We will run into each other at a local coffee shop, one with lots of charm and quirkiness. We will settle into an easy conversation. For me, it will be like I’m at home with you. Like putting on an old favorite pair of sandals.

I pray you are at rest in Jesus today. I pray you are constantly amazed at how your Abba is in love with you. May He ravish and captivate your being and continue to bring out your true beauty, a Proverbs 31 character and a face that glows with Jesus.

I pray that God will make us friends first. Then one day, I will look at you and know that I don’t have to look anymore, for I will have truly come home to your smile.

May I AM bring healing to those deep wounds from your past so that they no longer bleed into your present. May Jesus redeem every hurtful word and deed done to you so your testimony can bring healing to every person in every nation.

May you fall even more in love with Jesus each day and run after Him with every fiber of your being. May you be bold and unashamed to live out the Gospel, knowing that you are the only Bible some will ever read. May people look at you and see Jesus, speak with you and hear His voice of truth, feel His healing hand with your touch, and be filled with a deep longing for Immanuel just by having met Him in you.

I wait for you patiently and eagerly. It will be more than I deserve and better than my wildest dreams when I become

Your beloved husband.

Things I Love 4: The Slow and The Lackadaisical

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In case you didn’t get the title, it’s the opposite of those never-ending series of movies called The Fast and the Furious. I think we’re probably looking at at least 18 more of those, so gird your loins.

But I digress. Back to the list of things I love, starting at #81.

81) Spontaneously starting up conversations with strangers with small dogs at Starbucks. The best part is that we’re not strangers anymore, but friends.

82) Finding out I wasn’t the only one who struggled with that or felt that way.

83) Finally getting around to seeing a movie I missed years ago and finding out it was worth waiting to see.

84) Listening to Morgan Freeman’s voice (if he ever narrated a book on CD, I’d buy it, even if it was Intro to Trigonometry.

85) Finding out that U2 finally has a NEW album coming out later this year.

86) The elegance and beauty of Grace Kelly.

87) That the end of the Greatest Story Ever Told has already written and it’s has the best ending ever.

88) Or if you prefer, all of history is like the title page and table of contents, and after it ends is the real beginning of the Real Story in which every next chapter is better than the last and where you don’t want to ever put the book down.

89) The peace that comes with acceptance that a friendship is over and that it has served its purpose and best of all, being thankful for the time we had.

90) Every time I see the transformative power of the risen Christ in my life.

91) Believing in love again and especially believing that there really maybe someone out there who will want and desire me.

92) Being in a place at night where you can see the stars.

93) The smell of chlorine. I know it’s weird, but it takes me back to going to the Y as a kid.

94) The smell of bus exhaust. Again, it’s strange, but this time it takes me back to the days of marching band trips.

95) Watching fireflies and listening to a symphony of crickets on a slow country night.

96) Seeing a mother who isn’t preoccupied or busy or glued to her smart phone and is loving on her child and living in the moment.

97) Those little candies called Smarties.

98) That I really can taste the rainbow when I eat a Skittles.

99) Listening to my cat snore.

100) The good feeling I get after eating a really good Southern home-cooked meal.

101) That there will be more of these blogs because there are so many more little things that I love.

Things I Love 3: The Trilogy of Terribly Named Blogs

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I continue with my list of things that I love, things that may not seem like such a big deal, but are present and daily reminders of the goodness of God in a thousand small ways. I will pick up where I left off with #57.

57) Not feeling the need to be friends with everyone so you can have deeper friendships that have more meaning.

58) When you hear a sermon that speaks directly to you and feels like it was written specifically for you.

59) All the black and white episodes of The Andy Griffith show.

60) A well-timed pun.

61) Finally being comfortable in my own skin.

62) Being able to laugh at my own goofiness and not be bothered by the fact that I’m a goober 99% of the time.

63) That all the future promises of God are as good as done.

64) GPS that keeps me from getting lost on these hopelessly and gloriously confusing roads in and around Nashville.

65) That  nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever separate me from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

66) Taking all my size 34 jeans to Goodwill because they’re way too big for me now.

67) Scottish, Irish, and British accents.

68) The fact that I’m taller than Tom Cruise.

69) People who get me.

70) That the people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter.

71) Reading through The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings every single year.

72) Ditto for The Hobbit.

73) My very,very red New Balance running shoes that are super-duper lightweight.

74) Anything Patty Griffin has ever or will ever record– even if it’s singing through the phone book alphabetically.

75) That no one is beyond the reach of God’s love and that it is never too late to start over.

76) The movie Elizabethtown– and anyone who has actually seen it and appreciates it the way I do.

77) Wearing my red chucks, i.e. my very red vintage-style Chuck Taylor Converse high tops.

78) Any worship song by Hillsong, Kari Jobe, or Chris Tomlin.

79) A good quote from Mother Teresa.

80) That I promise in the future I will try to think of better titles for these blogs.

Things I Love Part 2: The Most Unimaginative Blog Sequel Title Ever

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In continuation of a blog I wrote earlier called “Things I Love,” I present you with the horribly titled follow-up called ‘Things I Love Part 2.” I think I stopped with #32 so I’ll start with #33. How very creative of me.

33) Being able to enjoy moments and relationships for what they are and not constantly worrying about what they may or may not become in the future.

34) The smell of freshly-cut grass on a Saturday.

35) Candles and potporri around the Christmas season that always make me remember my childhood and relatives who are no longer with us.

36) Really old books that have that musty smell and have worn covers from being read so much.

37) When a plan comes together, like on the A-Team.

38) Being able to rejoice for my friends when they finally find their true loves.

39) The feel of soft grass on my bare feet at night.

40) Unexpected and encouraging texts from family and friends (all the more since my love language is words of affirmation).

41) My nephews and my niece.

42) Sand volleyball with good friends on a Sunday night.

43) Knowing deep down that I am forgiven and free from any condemnation.

44) Watching my cat curled up in my lap and sleeping soundly.

45) Any episode at any point from the TV show Friends.

46) Actually stopping and smelling the roses wherever I find them.

47) Knowing that in a world of constant change and turmoil Jesus Christ is truly the same yesterday, today, and forever.

48) Audrey Hepburn.

49) Singing a favorite song and turning on the radio to find the same song playing in the spot where I was just singing.

50) Being able to encourage a friend with just the right words whether through text or in person.

51) Breathing in the crisp cold air on an idyllic autumn day.

52) Bonfires and hotdogs and smores on a chilly autumn night.

53) Sitting on the patio of The Frothy Monkey in downtown Franklin, sipping on a White Monkey Mocha, and watching people all around me engaged in all sorts of conversations.

54) A good hike around Radner Lake.

55) The salty smell of ocean air when I’m near the beach.

Notes on a Sermon

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I heard something really cool today in a sermon. Even though I didn’t get much sleep, I still paid attention, so that doubles my Baptist Brownie points, I think.

Anyway, the point is this: you don’t have to be a victim to your past or let what others have said or done to you enslave you. The power of the risen Christ gives you the freedom and opportunity to choose a new future and break the cycle of negativity and lies.

You don’t have to be defined by past failures or by friends who abandoned you. And on a side note, real friends will give you the benefit of the doubt at all times and dig behind the misunderstanding to find your true meaning instead of assuming the worst. But that’s another topic for another day. Maybe.

The future is wide open. It’s not bound to what you did in the past or the rut you’re currently stuck in. The future is where God is already waiting to show you something better than you could ever have imagine or dreamed up on your own. The future is where you become all that God meant for you to be when he dreamed you up.

So let go of those who won’t look for the best in you and try to bring it out of you. Embrace those who bring out the Jesus in you and help you to find your own unique story. You are special because you have a calling and purpose that only you can do– to be exactly yourself in a world that will do anything and everything to get you to be anything else but you.

The best part is that you can always start over. You don’t have to wait for the first of the month or for the next full moon. You can start today. You just have to want it bad enough to work for it and to wait expectantly for God’s promises to be fulfilled in you.

And now maybe I’ll take a much-needed nap.

Things I Love

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I was inspired to create this list by a book I’m reading called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The goal is to see life and everything good in it as a gift from God. So here goes part 1 of the list:

1) The smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

2) Rain on a tin roof.

3) Sunsets on the beach.

4) My family– every single one of them.

5) My friends– all of them, too.

6) Life.

7) Downtown Franklin on a cool Saturday night.

8) The way a new bride glows on her wedding day.

9) The way a new groom’s face lights up when he sees his new bride in her wedding gown for the first time as she walks toward him down the aisle.

10) God’s heart for the orphans and the widows– basically, those without a voice.

11) My cat Lucy

12) Cheg-nog from Starbucks.

13) Chocolate chip cookies from The Frothy Monkey (whether they are truly gluten-free or not).

14) Good music.

15) Good movies.

16) Good books.

17) Savannah, Georgia.

18) Being a greeter every week on the Kairos greeter team with the best people in the universe!

19) My addiction to caffeine.

20) Fitting into size 29 jeans.

21) That my Abba Father is still very fond of me after all this time.

22) True love.

23) The feeling of taking off dress socks.

24) Swing dancing.

25) Ultimate frisbee.

26) Kindness lived out and grace extended.

27) Waking up to a new day with new mercies and a clean slate.

28) The unguarded joy of children over the smallest things.

29) The Advent season with its gaudy decorations and cheesy songs and the reminder of Immanuel– God with us still.

30) That every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

31) That I can fail big and stick around and make ’em wonder why I’m still smilin’!

32) For more lists to come in the future.

More Things I’m Thankful For

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If I took the time to focus on what I have instead of what I lack, I’d be so much better off. I really do have so much that I take for granted and what I think I need probably won’t even matter to me in five years– or five months.

So here’s another list of things I’m grateful for:

1) Beautiful Spring nights where the air has a hint of people grilling out.

2) Baseball games where the home team wins.

3) Good friends to share the night and the game with.

4) Another day to be alive.

5) That God is still in me and with me and for me.

6) Driving home with the windows down and good music playing loud.

7) That God’s future for me is so much bigger and wilder and more amazing than my little mind can yet imagine or conceive.

8) Friends who show grace instead of judgment and give second chances instead of shutting me out.

9) For those moments of serendipity when I run into friends old and new and remember how blessed I am to have them in my life.

10) For Sweet CeCe’s and more specifically their flavor, Southern Sweet Velvet (formerly known as Red Velvet).

11) For that amazing gluten-free chocolate chip cookie that I had last night at The Frothy Monkey.

12) That I’ve lost 31 pounds despite eating the above foods.

13) That I’m actually in better shape than I was when I was in high school.

14) That I care less what other people think of me and much more of what God thinks of me.

15) That my Abba Father is still very fond of me and still chooses to call me his Beloved.

16) For therapy sessions with my cat Lucy sleeping in my lap.

17) That there is absolutely nothing that will separate me from God’s love, nothing he hasn’t overcome by the cross, and nothing that he can turn into something beautiful and glorious.

 

9) For good coffee drinks and friends to share it with.

10)

The Etiquette of Defriending (According to Me)

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Facebook is great. I love being able to connect with old friends and stay in touch with people who are on the other side of the globe. Literally.

But there is a downside. Facebook can be a place to post and say things you wouldn’t normally say to a person. You can hit a button and end a friendship just like that. The proper term is defriending.

I think it should be a very last resort. Unless you’re trying to purge your friends list by deleting people you don’t really know and barely have any contact with. That’s another story for another blog.

Defriending is essentially saying, “I’m done with you. I don’t want anything more to do with you ever again.” Rarely does a person maintain a friendship with someone they’ve defriended.

If you absolutely must defriend someone, give them the courtesy of a heads up. Send them a message so they know why this needs to happen. That way the hurt will be less.

As always, it’s better to admonish or correct someone face to face rather than through social media. But you should absolutely never ever use defriending as a means to punish someone. If the other person doesn’t know what they did wrong, how can they hope to learn from their mistakes and correct their behavior?

My suggestion is to give them grace and the benefit of the doubt. I’m not saying to tolerate someone who verbally abuses you or makes inappropriate comments. After a warning, I’d send that person packing.

Also, don’t ever use alienation to teach someone a lesson. All pulling away from someone communicates is judgment and condemnation, not grace. Your silence and stand-offishness won’t fix anything; if anything, it will create unneccesary hurt and make the problem much worse than it was before. Nothing beats speaking the truth in love to reconcile a wrong.

Just ask yourself this: what would Jesus do if he were in my place? Then do the same. Remember, God had every right to defriend you (and much worse) and instead sent Jesus who died in your place that you might have life and abundance and freedom. He died to make you into the image and character of Jesus.

Just think about that for a while and see if it doesn’t change the way you see people who have wronged you. No matter what anyone has done to you, you’ve done the same and worse to God. And he’s fully and freely forgiven you.

Just food for thought from one ragamuffin to another.

PS Sometimes when you get defriended, it’s a sign to let the friendship go and move on. Don’t harbor hard feelings or ill will. Forgive and release the person from your life.

Observations on Growing Up

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These are generalizations, but I think they’re true for the most part. At least I’ve observed them in my own life.

When you’re in your 20’s, you know everything. You have life and God and people figured out. You can be a little careless and casual with your relationships because you still believe that you can be friends with everybody. The world is black and white and it’s easy to jump to conclusions. I know I was much more legalistic and judgmental then.

The 30’s are an age where you know increasingly less and less. The world has more shades of gray. You learn to give more grace because you see parts of you that you wish weren’t there. Maybe it’s jealousy or sudden fits of anger or envy. It’s much more difficult to write people off. You have fewer, but deeper, friendships and you treasure them more because you know how fragile life is and how hard it is to find deep meaningful relationships.

I can’t speak for the 40’s. Hopefully, I’ve gained wisdom with more than a dash of humility. I’ve learned being right doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as being reconciled and at peace with people. I’ve learned above all to give myself grace and allowance for my mistakes. I’ve learned not to beat myself up when I act out of hurt or anxiety occasionally, because I’m still learning and growing and healing.

So, to sum it up, love people where they are and don’t burden them with lots of assumptions and expectations. After all, you know what you make of you and me when you assume– an ass.

Also, be generous in grace and forgiveness. You never know when you’ll need both.

The List

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A friend challenged me with something. She told me to think of all the things I’m thankful for, to focus on what’s good about me, and to celebrate the victories. So here’s a list of what I’m thankful for.

1. Grace. Still.

2. Cool spring nights where I can drive home with the windows down and good music playing loud.

3. Friends who speak the truth to me in love when I need to hear it and stick around after I’ve made a mess of things.

4. That messing up doesn’t have to mean the end of the world (or the end of a friendship).

5. That the best days of my life are still ahead.

6. That my past doesn’t define me anymore.

7. That God’s love for me is what defines me now.

8. For the continuing opportunity to be a part of serving as a greeter for Kairos and getting to witness God at work every single week.

9. Who I’m becoming in Christ.

10. That I’m finally able to believe that I will be a good husband and father one day.

11. my iPhone and that I finally got smart enough to get a smart phone. About dang time!

12. That I woke up this morning with good health and everything I need.

13. That I’m able to type this.

14. That God never ceases to amaze or surprise or delight me whenever I have enough sense to pay attention.

15. For people who choose to see the best in me and always give me the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming and jumping to conclusions.

16. For how God speaks in so many ways to me and always knows where I am.

17. For chocolate.

18. For my cat who’s sleeping in my lap as I type up this list.

19. For every soldier who sacrificed his life so that I could have all the freedoms that I so often take for granted.

20. For me finding my own brand of awesome and living it out every day.