failure

Things I Love 25: I Feel Like I Should Celebrate With Some Grape Juice or Something

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I read something that actually made me laugh out loud. It said something to the effect that if life doesn’t hand you water and sugar to go along with your lemons, your lemonade is really going to suck. Literally. As far as this whole series of things I love, hopefully I’m taking the proverbial lemons of life and adding the sweetness of grace to make yet again proverbial lemonade. Which tastes much better than Country Time Lemonade, by the way. So I’m starting up again at #691.

691) The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

692) Actually looking forward to my Brentwood Baptist Church Life Group (or Sunday School class if you’re over 30 and don’t quite get the hipper church lingo yet).

693) All the waiters and waitresses at McCreary’s Irish Pub who always make me feel so very welcome and at home.

694) My sister’s dog Ellie who is the sweetest and friendliest dog on the planet.

695) Not tossing and turning half the night.

696) The comfy leather chairs at Starbucks.

697) Rainbows after a thunderstorm.

698) Hearing chirping birds again after a long rainy spell.

699) Catching old episodes of Family Ties.

700) Feeling welcomed in a group.

701) Making others feel welcome in a group.

702) Being able to play the music on my iPhone through my car and charge my phone at the same time.

703) That I’m reading The Chronicles of Narnia again for about the 15th year in a row.

704) Being able to plug in my iPhone and hear GPS directions through those same car speakers.

705) Those cheezy episodes of 21 Jump Street.

706) Eric Metaxas’ amazing biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

707) The way my cat Lucy often poses like a supermodel.

708) Wondering about things like if animals could talk before the Fall.

709) Revolutionary War-era biographies.

710) Lawn darts.

711) My never-ending hunt for bowling shoes at thrift stores.

712) Badminton and my awesome badminton racquet.

713) Jesus.

714) The times when I trust in the Lord with all my heart instead of leaning on my own understanding.

715) Chocolate covered raisins.

716) Bond. James Bond.

717) The godly example my brother-in-law Steve is setting for his family.

718) When people talk about turning 30 like it’s the end of the world and I feel like I’m really starting to come alive at age 41.

719) Old people who don’t act their age.

720) That time a friend of mine walked all the way over from Chipotle to where I was sitting at Starbucks to talk to me.

721) Caramelized onions.

722) Knowing the difference between to, two, and too.

723) My fantastic Glenn Miller collection.

724) When I talk to myself and grin like an idiot because I’m so spectacularly funny.

725) Passing that BMW SUV tonight in my vintage ’95 Jeep Cherokee.

Things I Love 21: This Blog Series Is Old Enough To Drink (If It Weren’t a Baptist Blog)

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“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust” (Ann Voskamp).

My list continues at #551.

551) Going back to swing dancing at Centennial Park on July 13.

552) Conversations with people of different faith-traditions where we both learn something new.

553) Embracing my own uniqueness instead of giving in to the pressure around me to fit in.

554) When I finally realized that the song “Father Abraham” was about the Abraham from the Bible and NOT Abraham Lincoln.

555) The joke about what a vegan zombie craves– “Graaaaaaains!”

556) That true belief is active and results in actions– works if you will. It’s not mental assent; it’s putting hands and feet on faith and living it out every single day.

557) That defining what truth is and is not is not up to me.

558) Getting coupons for free Chick-fil-A sandwiches.

559) The random way my brain works and how it makes all my conversations extremely unpredictable yet very interesting.

560) God being so much bigger than my fears and doubts and questions.

561) Knowing that my eternal security doesn’t depend on my skill at playing Candy Crush Saga.

562) Knowing my ultimate hope isn’t in a president or a republic, but a King and a Kingdom.

563) Half-priced shakes from Sonic.

564) The thought of never having to take another math class as long as I live.

565) The movie That Thing You Do!

566) The conversation I had at Best Buy with Jamie (who I will probably never see again) where I completely lost track of time.

567) Chihuahuas that fit into tea cups.

568) Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (is that how the song goes?)

569) The perfect cup of Earl Grey tea.

570) Capturing a magical moment in a photograph.

571) Running through a sprinkler just I used to to when I was little.

572) The uncomplicated faith of a child.

573) Fireworks on the 4th of July.

574) My friend Lara getting married (and me getting an invitation to her wedding to see a prayer of mine getting answered before my very eyes).

575) That I still have 6 months to finish my goal of watching all of the 9 nominees for 2012’s Best Picture Academy Award.

576) Never having to watch Life of Pi ever again– once was definitely enough.

577) Hugs.

578) Every single cartoon featuring that loveable dog named Droopy.

579) How a faithful pet can actually lower your blood pressure and reduce stress.

580) Hearing my cat Lucy snore.

581) Making peace with the past– all of it.

582) Cool Hand Luke– because it is such a great film.

583) Truly worshipping in spirit and in truth.

584) Government square pizzas like they used to have when I was in grade school.

585) All of the people who follow this blog faithfully.

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

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OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

Things I Love 12: Tested And Approved by Lucy The Wonder Kitty

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Lucy is in my lap, approving  whatever I type. Of course, she can’t read, but if she could, she would add her own comments (most of which would not be fit to print in a family-style blog such as this one). So I’ll take her silence as either approval or extreme sleepiness.

The list commences with #264 (I think).

264) Ice-cold water to quench my thirst on a humid summer day.

265) A long walk alone under a full moon at night (as opposed to all those moonlit walks during the day).

266) That I’m finally at a place where I’m comfortable alone or in a crowd.

267) Planned spontaneity.

268) That I’ve come to the place where if I never see a certain person ever again (and at the moment it appears very likely to be the case), that I will be glad for the friendship; I will miss her, but my life will go on.

269) Those quiet moments of peace where God speaks into my silence.

270) That with God, every day is a day to look forward to.

271) Reading collects out of The Book of Common Prayer and seeing my own prayers expressed better than I could ever put them.

272) That this blog site has spell-check so that I can appear smarter than I really am, i.e. that I can actually spell.

273) That I really don’t have to be friends with everyone or have everyone like me to be content.

274) That everything will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

275) Good lines from good movies (like the one I just referenced earlier).

276) Chocolate bars with bacon in them (it sounds gross, but tastes divine).

277) All of my quirks

278) That I have to show my driver’s license to prove that I really am the age I say I am.

279) That even though Jon Acuff might have more readers for one blog than I’ve had for all my 1,000+ blogs combined, that I have touched and impacted lives that wouldn’t have been touched and impacted had I chosen not to write a blog.

280) That I can use bad grammar, and bad punctuation, in my blogs, if I so, choose.

281) Those rare times when the Church is known for what it’s for rather than what it’s against.

282) That I can learn something from anybody, no matter what their philosophical, theological, political or social beliefs and regardless of whether or not they have the same worldview as mine.

283) That hamburger from The Pharmacy with bacon, ham, and a fried egg (10,000 calories of deliciousness!)

284) That the last spoken words from Jesus in the Bible aren’t a condemnation but an invitation.

285) When I talk into a box fan and make my voice sound like a robot.

286) That being grown-up doesn’t always mean having to be mature all the time.

287) That the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

288) The way my cat Lucy hovers when she goes to the bathroom.

289) Not knowing all the answers (or even all of the questions).

290) A perfectly made and perfectly thrown paper airplane.

291) That I saw the actual Batmobile from the campy 60’s TV show tonight in downtown Franklin

292) That this list will continue– maybe tomorrow, maybe not. You’ll just have to tune in tomorrow to find out. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Things I Love 11: Top That, Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees

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I now have passed into legendary status in this series. Not even movie slashers Freddy Krueger or Jason Vorhees had more than nine sequels (even counting the one they were in together, which I consider cheating). That goes to show that there are really way more good things than bad things out there if you only look hard enough and with the right set of eyes.

That being said, we’ll kick off this list at #239:

239) Driving home after a good night of community group with music playing loud and absolutely no idea of where you are (and not caring).

240) Vegetables off the grill.

241) Giving myself permission to vent, to go a little crazy, and to be in the moment, no matter how painful it may be.

242) That whenever Lucy my cat hears my car coming up the driveway, she goes to the front door and waits for me.

243) On nights like this, gratitude for not having a night shift job.

244) That I’m not (nor will I ever be) married to any of the Kardashians.

245) Authentic conversations with friends at 10 pm.

246) That God only needs the tiniest place to start in my life to do something amazing.

247) That unexpected two-hour nap on a Sunday afternoon when I only meant to lie down and rest my eyes for a second.

248) Knowing that God’s “no”s always mean a much bigger “yes” down the road.

249) Singing to the very top of my lungs with the song playing on my car radio and not caring if I sound scary.

250) Finding the freedom to forgive myself for being myself.

251) In those moments when I can truly love being me.

252) Those spontaneous Saturday nights in downtown Franklin (like the one I’m planning for tomorrow).

253) People who refuse to give up on me even when they should.

254) Finding the perfect card for someone’s birthday.

255) Knowing that my Abba rejoices over me, sings over me, and dances with joy over me.

256) The almost-euphoric feeling after I realize that a bad headache is gone.

257) Jennifer Anniston.

258) The clean smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

259) Not having to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

260) That I’m already 1/4 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love/am grateful for/receive as gifts from God.

261) Chocolate Cheerios.

262) Eating dessert first.

263) Eating dessert as a meal.

Look for the next installment, cleverly entitled Things I Love 12, sometime tomorrow.

Things I Love 9: This Series Is Getting Completely Redonkulous

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I apologize for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the next installment of this series. Both of you.

I got off track in more ways than one, but now I continue this seemingly neverending series with #192.

192) A cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.

193) Any time I get free food, even if it’s just a free dreamcone from Chick-fil-A (one of the perks of having the app foursquare on my iPhone!)

194) Knowing that even if the worst case scenario actually comes to pass, God’s taking care of me and everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

195) The absolute magic of Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers.

196) Homemade bread.

197) Sweet potato french fries (I recommend Pucketts or The Pharmacy).

198) Knowing my family and friends are praying for me as I write this.

199) Being able to pray the prayer that never fails– Your will be done– and sincerely mean it.

200) Being okay after having my heart broken in a very failed attempt to take a friendship to the next level.

201) That the best things in life really are free.

202) GPS for those like me who are directionally-impaired.

203) Ice cold water on a hot day.

204) Unexpectedly seeing old friends at Kairos.

205) Having peace even in the midst of spectacularly blowing a friendship to smithereens.

206) When technology works like its supposed to.

207) Getting all green lights on my way to church.

208) That I am an heir with Christ and no longer a slave to fear but now possess a spirit of adoption and can cry, “Abba, Daddy” to the God and Maker of the Universe.

209) That low sexy voice you get when ever you have a cold or hay fever.

210) Hearing a favorite song at just the right moment.

211) The effortless artistry of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice.

212) That God hears my feeble prayers– and even my sighs and groans when I don’t have the words.

213) That God can use messes like Moses, Abraham, David, Peter, and (most amazing of all) me.

Another Easter Toast (But This One’s All Mine)

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I raise my glass and drink to all the losers, drop-outs, failures, rejects, and nobodies. I drink to all the castaways, the worthless, the reprobates, the down-and-outers, and anybody who just can’t seem to get their act together. To all the crooks and whores and drunks and junkies and thieves.

Why?

You are the ones Jesus died for. He himself said he came not for those who were well, those who were righteous, but for you, the sick, the sinner, the wretched, blind, and poor. Those without a hope left in the world.

Blessed are you for you have found hope.

Blessed are you for you have been made new. The past no longer counts against you and the future is yours.

Blessed are you for God so loved you that he gave his only Son that you should not perish but have full, abundant, and rich eternal life, starting now.

Blessed are you when you’ve reached the end of your rope, as one translation puts it, because there is less of you and more of God and his rule.

Blessed are you when you cry out to God and beg for pardon for all your mistakes and failures and sins and find that forgiveness and freedom is sweeter and grander and longer and wider than you ever imagined they could be.

I toast you because you really appreciate what this day is all about. You know that because of this day you are alive and free from any condemnation. Because of Easter Sunday, you no longer have to let your past define you or your future.

You have an Advocate, a Redeemer, a Savior, a Friend and a Father. You have a new name, a new start, a new tomorrow, and a new destiny.

I think that merits a toast, don’t you?

triple wine toast

Good Friday

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“[B]ut we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel” (Luke 24:21).

It’s easy to skip past this part on the way to the Easter Sunday celebrations, but this year I feel the need to slow down and try to appreciate what the disciples must have been going through at this point.

Their leader, Jesus, was dead and in the tomb. Their hopes and dreams had been dashed to pieces and they had nothing left. The one they loved had left them.

I know what it’s like to have to say goodbye to a loved one. It’s not easy. To realize you can never go back and unsay harsh words or say words of love. To know that this is final.

All the disciples had at the moment was pieces of a shattered faith and each other. All they could do was sit silently in the same room, lost for words that could possibly bring comfort or understanding. It had all happened so fast. One moment, Jesus was with them, laughing and encouraging them to be strong, the next he was gone.

I wonder if any of the disciples got trapped in the cycle of “if only.” If only we hadn’t gone to Jerusalem. If only we had recognized Judas’ true colors before. If only we could have gotten away from the garden sooner. If only.

They still had so many questions to ask Jesus. There was still so much they didn’t understand, especially about when he said he could raise up the temple again in three days.

Who else would show them the Father in such a real and tangible way? Who else would open up the Scriptures in such a fresh and vibrant way? Who else would teach by such authority?

They had no answers, only questions.

It’s Friday, but Sunday’s comin’.

Hindsight Really is 20/20

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I do this every single year. I look at my NCAA tournament bracket as it is in the process of imploding and wonder how I could have made some of the picks I did. I mean, Montana? Really?

At this point, I’m rooting for all the underdogs and scrapping any dreams of winning big cash with my brackets. If I’m going down, I want all the other brackets busted, too. I have no basketball pride.

It’s so easy to look back at the choices I’ve made in other areas of my life and wonder what I was thinking. I know you look back and cringe at some of the monumentally dumb decisions you’ve made.

But look at it this way. I may regret some of my choices, but not where they’ve led me, because I know God is better than anyone at bringing good out of a bad situation. Just ask Joseph (either one). Or David. Or practically anyone from the Bible.

Honestly, the only way not to fail spectacularly is not to play. And that is the worst failure of all. Failing is inevitable, but failure doesn’t have to be. You can learn from your mistakes. More importantly, you can see what God does with those mistakes, bringing you into places you might not ever have gone and to people you might not have otherwise met.

You will know better than anyone else what to say to someone because you’ve been in that same place. You can say, “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.”

I love what a pastor said. I’ve said it before, but it can’t be said enough. What you thought was your worst moment, your worst decision ever, what you swore you’d never tell anybody ever, God turns into the very first line of your testimony. Because your mistake no longer defines you. God does. The way he redeemed your failings does.

As for my bracket, I’ll fill one out again next year, hopefully a little wiser about who to pick and who NOT to pick. Or maybe I’ll just flip a coin and go with that.