Today, I went to Target with the sole purpose of purchasing a new toothbrush. My old ones were probably way past the point where I should have tossed them and moved on with my life, but I just couldn’t bring myself to part with them. They were almost like family. Almost.

So I bought a 2-pack of toothbrushes because I thought I’d be all sensible and thrifty.

Do you know how much 2 Oral B toothbrushes cost these days? $10!

I thought that price was for the 4-pack sitting next to the 2-pack, but no. That was for 2 toothbrushes. For those who are good with the maths, that comes out to $5 per toothbrush. And like 50 cents per bristle.

I told someone I work with that for those prices, I want to be buried with those toothbrushes laid out next to me in my coffin. One on my right, one on my left. I am most definitely taking those with me when I shed this mortal coil.

I’m also sure my teeth brushing will be taken to the next level. For that amount of money, I should never ever have another cavity for as long as I live. I should probably be able to skip out of one dental visit in the next year, kinda like a Get out of Jail Free card in Monopoly, only for teeth cleaning.

For me, inflation has been a bit of a theoretical concept lately. I understood prices were going up but I didn’t see how it affected me. Until today. I suddenly realized that to complain about the price of dental hygiene means that I am officially old. Welcome to the geezer club!