The Winter of Grieving and Loss: Thoughts from Tonight’s Kairos

The topic of tonight’s Kairos was taken from Genesis 24 where Abraham grieved the loss of his wife Sarah. It was a good reminder of the importance of allowing space in ourselves and others for grieving loss.

Some of the takeaways are:

  1. It’s important not to rush through any of the seasons of life, even the unpleasant ones. Allow winter, the season of loss, to have its work instead of hurrying through it.
  2. The only way to navigate the grieving process is to grieve. Don’t try to minimize the loss or wish it away.
  3. Don’t apologize for your tears of grief. The Bible is full of many people, including Jesus, who were not ashamed to weep.
  4. There is no time limit to grief and loss. The point is not to “get over it,” but to find healing and a new normal.
  5. Part of the healing process involves talking about the loss. Don’t avoid the subject but also don’t try to fix the person in the grieving process.
  6. Don’t wait until it’s too late to appreciate the people in your life. Let them know face to face what they mean to you.

One of the best books I’ve ever read about this kind of loss is C. S. Lewis’ A Grief Observed. It’s one of the most painfully honest, vulnerable, raw, and true books about grieving after Lewis lost his wife Joy to cancer.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is to be there. Job’s friends were at their best when they sat in silence with Job in his sorrow. More than any words, your presence is what matters most.

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