Some days I wish I could switch places with my cat Peanut. Let her drive the red Jeep to work and spend 8 hours in front of a computer. Let me lounge around the house all day in my birthday suit, napping whenever the mood takes me and eating whenever I get the least bit bored or hungry.

The best part of being a cat is that the fatter you are, the more cuddly you are and the more people like you. You have extremely low expectations, so when you do anything at all remotely interesting, it’s either cute or funny or amazing. You can spend time with your people or you can be alone, and either way, your humans will understand.

You never have to set an alarm. You never have to pay taxes. You never have to sit in traffic that inexplicably won’t move even though there’s no wreck.

All in all, being a cat isn’t a bad life in the least.