Sometimes, it seems that the grief will never go away. It seems that anger is always right underneath the surface. It seems like jealousy and bitterness and envy are still second nature, and forgiveness, grace, and mercy seem so unreachable. Love is next to impossible sometimes.

But little by little you keep taking the grief and the anger to Jesus. You keep confessing the jealousy and bitterness and repenting of the envy. You pray every day for Jesus to take away these things and fill the vacated space with His love. For a while, nothing seems to happen.

But just as you see the first hints of the sun coming up in the morning, so you finally see hints of change.

A little less sadness and a little more joy.

A little less anger and a little more love.

A little less jealousy and a little more compassion.

A little less bitterness and a little more surrender and acceptance.

A little less envy and a little more thankfulness.

That’s how it  works, I think. When Jesus said we could move mountains with a little bit of faith, sometimes I think those mountains come down a little bit of dirt and a little bit of rock at a time. Sometimes, the mountain is gone in an instant, but sometimes it takes years of praying, surrendering, and struggling.

I heard someone say that comparison is the thief of joy. You can always find someone to feel superior to and someone who seems way above you. If you have to make comparisons at all, I suggest comparing yourself now with who you used to be. And maybe with who you are becoming.

I don’t claim to have the final and definitive answers to all this, but I know that God said He would finish what He started and He hasn’t lied yet. His promise is as good as done. Believe it.