I Need, I Need, I Need. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.

May 11, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Today at church, the pastor spoke from Matthew 6:25-34 about not worrying because God will supply your need. I’ve heard that before many, many times, but for some reason it hit me in a fresh new way.

Many times, we as Americans get our needs and wants confused. I know I do.

For instance, one of my needs is reliable transportation to get me to and from work. My want is a red Mini-Cooper,preferably one that has a British flag emblem on the roof and/or on the side-view mirrors. I currently drive a red’ 97 Jeep Cherokee with nearly 275,000 miles on it that still looks and runs great.

I have an iPad 3. I love it. Still, sometimes I find myself coveting one of the new iPad Airs, especially the ones with 128 GB. But I’m content with what I have. I’d also have to be seriously delusional to call either one of those a need.

There’s a house in downtown Franklin that I’d love to live in. It’s like a storybook cottage and it’s right in the middle of one of my favorite areas of Middle Tennessee. I do have a roof over my head, so I think I’m covered when it comes to my need in that area.

I’m not saying wants are wrong. I am saying sometimes we all need a little bit of perspective about what our needs are and what our wants are. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but if you have more than one set of clothes, a roof over your head, access to clean water, more than one meal a day, and transportation, you are wealthy. So many around the world don’t have these things.

Oh, I’d still like one of those MacBook Pro laptops. Or even a MacBook Air. I’d settle for one of those, too. But I’m not going to say either of those are needs. Still, if someone wants to donate one to me out of the goodness of their heart, I wouldn’t complain too much.

All that to say that I know God will take care of my needs. Sometimes, He has to remind me of what those needs REALLY are, but He’s never failed to take care of me and my true needs. The same God who looks after those lilies in the field and those sparrows will look after me.

A Prayer for the Weak

March 25, 2014March 25, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Maybe this is your prayer tonight:

Lord, I feel like giving up tonght. It’s just not worth it anymore.

Whatever I’m desiring most seems always just out of my reach. Right now, it feels easier to quit holding on to that dream of mine.

I want to pray “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” but I don’t even have enough faith for that. I’m bankrupt when it comes to believing.

I’ve just about quit believing that I’ll ever get married. Or have children. Or that the children I do have will ever turn out right. Or that anyone will hire me. Or that I’ll ever be able to work in a place where I come alive instead of counting the hours and minutes until the weekend.

I feel like I’m completely screwing everything up. I don’t feel like anything I do matters or makes the tiniest bit of difference.

I do know that You’re still God. I do know that my impossibles aren’t impossible to You. In fact, they’re not even difficult for You.

I know You are truer than my feelings and though You seem so far away, You’re nearer to me than my next breath.

I don’t know how any of this will work out, but I know You will take care of me. Even if You deny my dreams, it’s only because they weren’t big enough for You.

I declare all these things with a faith that’s barely a blip on the radar screen. A faith that’s as small as a mustard seed. But still I declare.

So here’s me offering all I know of me to all I know of You. Take me and use me in whatever way You want. Let me know You’re near and let me feel in this moment how much You love me.

I surrender.

Random Thoughts on a December Friday

December 20, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I think I mentioned a few posts back that I was tired. I still am. That’s what working 10+ hour days will do to a person. Especially when you’re talking six days a week of those long hours.

The good news is I have a job and I have money. I’m no Donald Trump about to go buy another island, but I can pay my bills and not have to worry about the next meal. That’s what I call blessed.

I haven’t forgotten that half the world’s population lives on $2 a day or less. Most of them will go to bed hungry, malnourished, and sick from water-b0rn illnesses caused by drinking unsafe water. Half the world’s population has never made or received a phone call, something I take for granted on a daily basis. Who am I to complain about working a few extra hours here and there?

When I get tired, I get cranky. Sometimes, I get sarcastic, although I very rarely let those kinds of comments out into the open air. I’d probably have way less friends and even less of a chance of dating than I do now.

I also get way self-absorbed and a little paranoid. I don’t think so much that people are out to get me, but rather they’re out to abandon me at the first opportunity. Fears that seem irrational during the day can seem very real at night. In the same way, thoughts that I would never entertain for a second when I’m well-rested seem to take root when I am exhausted to think clearly.

It’s a good thing God loves me in all my moods and in all my phases of life and through all my ups and downs. His grace covers it all. That same God that meets me where I am and loves me where I am won’t let me stay there. I’m thankful I’m a lot less self-centered and fearful than I used to be.

I get to sleep in tomorrow. It may not seem like such a big deal to you and normally it wouldn’t to me, but when you’ve had to be at work at 6 am for the past three Saturdays, being able to sleep past 8 am is a welcome change.

I love that when I wake up in the morning, God’s mercies will be new and His faithfulness will be just as fresh as that dew on those flowers in the spring. God is good like that.

Untitled Blog #1,239

December 16, 2013December 16, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Yeah, it was a Monday. A 12-hour workday Monday.

Normally, that recipe makes for one grumpy Greg. But not today.

God reminded me that joy is a choice that I must make every single day, even on a cold winter Monday at 6 am.

Thanksgiving means not seeing a long work day ahead but me having a job, not me having an annoying cough that sounds like a car that won’t start but me being awake and alive.

I still have those people I don’t get. One won’t ever speak to me unless I speak to her first and even then she sometimes doesn’t respond. One I’ve pretty much learned to leave alone and pray for from a distance.

But God still can teach me something in every circumstance and use every person I meet as a blessing, a lesson, or a caution.

I’m learning to slow down and appreciate the small moments, the short conversations, the texts, these moments of quiet grace.

I lost my joy for a little while. I took my eyes off of Jesus and got swamped by worry, fear, and lack. I bemoaned all that I didn’t have instead of practicing the art of thanksgiving for all that I do have.

Right now, I’m thankful for friends who still want to know me after I’ve gone a little nutty on them, white chocolate covered oreos, my Jeep, a faithful 13-year old feline, a warm soft bed, and for Jesus. Most of all, for Jesus.

My Exhausted Advent Prayer

December 14, 2013December 14, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Note: I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my entire life. Working 136 hours in two weeks will do that to a person. Plus, I have some sort of allergy/sinus/cold crud that is extremely annoying.

I just finished watching A Charlie Brown Christmas again. As always, I loved it.

As always, I got a little emotional when Charlie Brown thinks he’s killed his little Christmas tree. He says, “Everything I touch gets ruined.”

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe about relationships? Careers? Hopes?

This Advent prayer is for you and me:

Lord, this season marks the anticipation of Your coming. We long for and look forward to Your arrival. We so need you.

Too often, we feel neglected, forgotten, left out and alone. We feel like the only ones that people can never make time for.

We long to matter to someone, to not always feel like the substitute people that others will be around only when the people they REALLY want to be with aren’t available.

It seems as though sometimes that people have given up on us, decided we weren’t worth the effort, and moved on. Only they neglected to tell us.

Be near us tonight. Remind us that Your coming is not far off now.

Remind us that Immanuel means “God is with you” and “God is with me.”

Immanuel means that You are near to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit. Those who have all but given up on people and who are so fearful of being let down and hurt yet again that they have shut down their hearts.

Let us feel you near. Let us hear You speak words of tender compassion in the day, sing songs of joy and delight over us in the night. Call us by our true names that only you and we know.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

I’m So Very Tired That I . . .

December 6, 2013December 6, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I am tired. I mean more than “I slept until noon and now I need a frappucino from Starbucks” tired. I mean soul-weary and bone-tired. I figured out by my vast mathematical skills that by tomorrow’s end I will have worked almost 70 hours this week. That’s a lot.

I’m so very tired that I spent 20 minutes looking for my iPhone last Sunday. The very iPhone that was attached to my belt the whole time. I even called it a few times from the house phone. Sad.

I’m so very tired that not even my super-awesome concoction of coffee + hot chocolate + creamer seems to be working lately. I even almost miss those Diet Mountain Dews. Almost.

I’m so very tired that I fantasize about sleeping in. Just sleeping in, under the covers, alarm clock turned off. That’s all. And by sleeping in, I mean past 5 am.

I’m so very tired that even I am wondering what I’m doing typing this when I could be sleeping and dreaming and all those restful things. The sacrifices I make for my art. Sigh.

I’m so very tired I think I actually fell asleep twice on Wednesday in the middle of working, each time for about 15 seconds. I don’t think I dreamed that.

I’m so very thankful that my God never gets tired, never needs sleep, never grows weary of watching over His children or blessing them.

I’m so very thankful that there is never a moment when I’m out of His care, away from His gaze, or not in His heart. Not one.

Now I get to go to bed. I get to rest. God willing, I will get to wake up and go to a good job and live my blessed life for one more day.

Life is good, God is great, and I am still more blessed than I deserve.

One Weird Weekend

November 30, 2013November 30, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Forgive me if I’m having trouble remembering what day it is. Let me explain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up. (A shiny nickel to the first person to correctly guess what movie I just referenced).

I worked Wednesday. Tracking so far?

I had Thursday off, since it was Thanksgiving aka Turkey Day aka National Food Coma Day.

I had Friday off, because it’s Black Friday aka National Recovery from Yesterday’s Food Coma Day.

I worked today.

I’m off tomorrow.

Where am I? Who am I? What year is it?

Ok, it’s not quite that bad yet. I know it’s still 2013 for another 31 days. I know there are 24 shopping days until Christmas.

Sometimes, we all lose our way. We forget who we are and why we’re here. We forget that it’s about more than just you and me in our tiny well-ordered lives.

As Rick Warren most famously said, it’s not about you. It never has been. It has been, is, and will always be all about God. But God has invited you and me to be a part of what He’s doing. We get to be conduits of blessing that bring Him glory.

I forget who I am. I forget Whose I am: I am the Beloved of my Abba, the one in whom He is well pleased.

I forget why I’m here. And my purpose is this: “Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. This is God’s will for all of you in Jesus the Anointed” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

To celebrate God’s goodness. To pray without ceasing. To give thanks in everything. That is God’s will for me. Yeah, it’s that simple.

I needed that reminder. I hope you did, too. And it is Saturday, FYI.

Fire Bad, Tree Pretty, Me Sleepy

November 26, 2013November 30, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

After working 23 hours in two days and having two nights of sleep where I feel like I woke up every 30 minutes, I am bone tired. Like to the point where I’m not exactly functioning on a higher brain level. Mostly my brain tells me to go to bed.

I’m hoping for a better night of sleep than the last two nights. I had weird dreams and like I said earlier, I woke up like clockwork, not because I wanted to or because I was so worried about anything. I just did. Rude.

But I wanted to tell you before I do call it a night that I’m thankful for you reading this and all my other blogs. It really does mean a lot to me that you take time out of your crazy schedules and choose my posts out of all the posts in the world to read.

So thank you.

Fire bad, tree pretty, me go sleep now.

Giving Thanks In Every Circumstance

November 24, 2013November 24, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I know you’re not supposed to give thanks FOR everything. That would be just plain weird. I mean who gives thanks for losing a loved one or getting fired from a job or for finding out you have a terminal illness?

But you can give thanks in the midst of those things, if for nothing more than God’s promise to work all things, even those things, together for good for those who love Him.

I’ve learned a few places where you can give thanks that don’t really seem to be places where gratitude is naturally found:

I can give thanks when my job involves long hours and tedious moments because I remember what it was like to not have a job and to not have money and to not feel productive or useful.

I can give thanks when a friend gives up on me or withdraws from me because it makes me not take for granted those who have stuck with me through dark days and low moments.

I can give thanks for delayed pay checks and not having a lot in the ol’ checking account because my eyes are opened once more to true riches of relationships and health and life and contentment and I find that I am wealthy in what really matters.

I can give thanks when the people I care about move away or simply disappear because I learn to treasure the time I am given with the people I am given and to be a blessing to the people in my life while it’s still called today because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

I can give thanks that bad days make the good days better, that rainy days make me appreciate sunshine more, that bitterly cold weather makes me love wool coats and fleece scarfs all the more, and that the meds keep me reminded that am not perfect or normal or self-sufficient but that I am always loved in spite of all these things. No, because of these things.

Gratitude is a habit that is learned one day at a time and joy is an lifestyle of slowing down and opening your eyes to see the small daily miracles all around you called blessings.

Don’t forget to be thankful for those small furry babies who love you unconditionally (even when you step on their tails for forget to feed them periodically or accidentally shut them in garages or closets). I just thought I’d throw that one in for free.

PS I am thankful every day that Jesus never gave up on me until He found me, rescued me, and brought me into His family. I am thankful that my weaknesses prove His strength, my sin shows the power of His grace and forgiveness, and my failures showcase His ability to make masterpieces out of messes.

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive

November 13, 2013November 13, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Sometimes, life will hand you lemons. You could make them into lemonade, but without sugar and water to go with it, your lemonade is really going to suck. Or you could freeze those lemons and throw them at all those people who really annoy you. Just a thought.

Maybe it’s a friend who really disappointed you and wasn’t around when you needed them. Maybe it’s a long work week where you seem to have not only two left feet but two left hands as well. Maybe it’s just a general sense of discouragement at where you find yourself compared to so many others.

Here’s the cure. Focus on the good things in your life, or as the old song says. accentuate the positive.

Here are some of my positives which may or may not inspire you to find your own (or you could just steal mine if you like):

1) I woke up this morning and got out of bed and got dressed and went to work. It may not seem like much, but I know a lot of people who didn’t get that privilege today.

2) I greet on Tuesdays at Kairos (a young adult worship experience) with some of the most amazing people, each of whom I am blessed to know and to call friends.

3) The three C’s essential to any early morning– coffee, chocolate, and caffeine. All three are marvelous.

4) I can pull out my Bible (or pull out my iPhone or my iPad and bring up my Bible app) and instantly be encouraged and motivated and strengthen at any time of day or night.

5) Instead of lamenting about how far I am from where I need to be, I can celebrate how far I’ve already come and who I am now versus who I used to be.

6) If I look through eyes of faith, I can always find blessings and joys stashed throughout my week and choose to live out Eucharisteo in every moment.

7) No matter how bad my day may suck, it will never last more than 24 hours. No matter how bad the week seems, it will never have more than 7 days. And that includes Friday and Saturday.

8) My cat Lucy is always happy to see me when I come home and loves to tell me how her day went. Ok, not really. She’s more the silent type, but still her presence is a great comfort to me.

9) I love seeing how my nephews and niece are discovering this great big world and their place in it. They are becoming who God made them to be and I love the previews I get of what that will look like.

10) I have my favorite places that always make me happy: my corner of the couch in the morning, downtown Franklin, serving at Kairos and Room in the Inn, and being around my family and friends.

Joy is a choice that I must make every single day. If I want my life to matter and if I want the people I live with and work with and play with to see a difference in me, the only way is me living out of joy and gratitude and thanksgiving at the never ending goodness and mercy and steadfast love of God.

And there’s those three C’s.

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