Anger

image

Note: These are my opinions. They do not reflect the views of WordPress, Brentwood Baptist Church, Kairos, or anyone else. They are solely mine.

I was thinking about anger today. Not because I’m angry. Far from it. I’m in a very good place emotionally. But some thoughts came to mind that I wanted to share.

Everyone deals with anger at some point. It’s even okay to be angry as long as you don’t use your anger as an excuse for sinning or justifying sin and as long as you don’t let your anger consume you or turn into bitterness.

At some point, all of us will be angry at God. I know I have. I do believe that God is big enough to handle our anger and would rather us vent it His way than hold it in and let it fester while we offer up pious prayers from insincere hearts.

We may at some point be angry at those loved ones who left too soon. We might be mad that they didn’t make better choices. We might be mad that they couldn’t beat the demons they fought. As you probably know, anger is one of the five stages of grief, and I know that anger can sometimes be directed at the one we’ve lost. Maybe healing can come in writing a letter to that person, expressing the anger, then destroying the note.

We will probably be mad at ourselves. Maybe because we didn’t speak words of love to those we loved while they were still with us. Maybe because we didn’t take risks for fear of failure. Maybe because we settled for safe instead of pursuing a God-given dream.

In my experience, anger is a masking emotion. We’re angry because we’re really afraid or insecure or doubtful. It’s always good to ask in the face of anger, “Why am I angry? Am I really afraid? Am I insecure about something? Is there something out of my control?”

I’m not a psychologist (although I did minor in Psychology in college). I don’t claim expertise in these matters. I’ve known what it’s like to wrestle with anger from time to time and where the root of that anger lies.

Maybe this will help someone find healing and be honest about being angry. To name it and be set free from it. That’s my prayer in writing this.

Why I Write These Things

image

Recently, I checked the stats on my WordPress blogsite. I discovered that my latest blog got a grand total of six views for the entire day.

It didn’t ruin my day but it was a bit depressing. For a little while.

Part of me still likes the idea of maybe one day getting thousands of readers. Part of me still thinks an all chocolate diet would be a good thing.

I write these blogs ultimately for me. Really and truly, I’m surprised that anyone other than me reads them. But if no one else but me read them, I’d still write them.

I have to remind myself periodically about a few things like 1) God’s unconditional love for me, 2) it’s okay to be me with all my quirks and flaws, and 3) I write these blogs because I need to read them. So you can look forward to seeing something similar to this post in about 6-9 months. Lucky you.

So maybe I’ll never become an elite blogger. Maybe I’ll never set any records for most views in one day. Maybe. Maybe not.

But for me it doesn’t matter. I want to keep being as authentic and honest and transparent as I can because someone out there might need to hear– or read– what I have to say. So even if I put in all that effort for one person, it will have been more than worth it. Even if that one person was me.

Things I Love 47: When the World Gets in My Face, I Say, ‘Have a Nice Day’

20130807-211248.jpg

“…this counting blessings was the unlocking of the mystery of joy, joy, “the gigantic secret of the Christian,” joy hiding in gratitude … God had used the dare to give me this; led me all he way to give me this, live fully, fully live.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Today, I ran the usual gamut of emotions from “the girl of my dreams is just around the next corner” to “I’m giving up the dating scene and joining a monastery. The truth lies in the middle, though I lean optimistically to the hopeful side. Even on rainy Wednesdays, I can revel in the joy of God’s goodness. I can be thankful for being alive to see eager earth soaking in more rain just as I can yearn for more and more of the presence of Christ that my gratitude and thanksgiving ushers in.

1,461) Another good kind of tired at the end of another working day.

1,462) The fun way Betty Rock does the traffic and weather reports on WAY-FM in the mornings.

1,463) Taking off my socks at the end of the day.

1,464) My Kairos friend’s homemade bread.

1,465) Obnoxiously persistent and persevering hope.

1,466) Those rare moments of genuine undiluted contentment.

1,467) Having a very manageable number of friends on Facebook.

1,468) Still having my memory.

1,469) Still having all ten fingers and all ten toes (even if one pinky is slightly crooked).

1,470) My growing collection of pocket-size Bibles.

1,471) The smell of new leather Bibles.

1,472) Wondering what new features the next iPhone will have on it.

1,473) Not grieving as those who have no hope.

1,474) A little coffee with my creamer and sugar.

1,475) My unique and very unorthodox typing style.

1,476) Being the only person in the entire universe with Spongebob Squarepants hanging from my rearview mirror.

1,477) Anticipating another trip to McKay’s Used Bookstore to trade in some movies.

1,478) Not being broke.

1,479) Words of affirmation in any format, whether spoken, texted, tweeted, posted, messaged, or emailed.

1,480) Getting comments on my blogs.

1,481) People who unfailingly respond to my texts and posts and Facebook messages.

1,482) Being my cat’s favorite pillow.

1,483) Shamelessly plugging my cat’s Facebook fan page at https://www.facebook.com/LucyTheWonderCat?fref=ts.

1,484) Finally being okay with not getting responses from posts and texts and personal messages.

1,485) Not having watched even one second of any of the episodes of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Big Brother, The Amazing Race, or any of those so-called reality shows.

1,486) Being up to 30,475 views on my blogs.

1,487) Not living in an area affected by drought conditions (at least not this year).

1,488) Being a bit wiser at the end of the day than I was at the end of yesterday.

1,489) Writing letters to my future wife.

1,490) A night of Bible reading, praying, and then sleep.

220px-Have_a_Nice_Day_Bon_Jovi_album

 

 

Things I Love 37: Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?

island hammock

“The true Love Dare. To move into His presence and listen to His love unending and know the grace uncontainable. This is the vault of the miracles. The only thing that can change us, the world, is this- all His love” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“Grace is alive, living waters. If I dam up the grace, hold the blessings tight, joy within dies… waters that have no life” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The wrinkled man in the wheelchair with the legs wrapped, the girl with her face punctured deep with the teeth marks of a dog, the mess of the world, and I see – this, all this, is what the French call d’un beau affreux, what the Germans call hubsch-hasslich – the ugly-beautiful. That which is perceived as ugly transfigures into beautiful. What the post-impressionist painter Paul Gauguin expressed as ‘Le laid peut etre beau’ – The ugly can be beautiful. The dark can give birth to life; suffering can deliver grace” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I suppose that any normal or sane person would have given up this series of blogs by now. I mean after all, I’ve achieved what I set out to do in naming one thousand gifts, or blessings, or things I’m thankful for and love. But I have never been a normal person. And as for insanity? I don’t suffer from it at all. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Starting at #1,106.

1,106) Hitting 30,000 views on my blog that I started on a lark and never really imagined anyone who wasn’t related to me would find even remotely interesting.

1,107) Marathons of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies on TCM.

1,108) The new car smell.

1,109) People who don’t give up on their dreams even when everything in them and around them tells them to.

1,110) The God who is bigger than the universe knowing when one tiny sparrow falls.

1,111) The amazing talent of Buddy Holly that cut too short by his untimely death.

1,112) Sitting inside of a brand new Camero convertible that I will probably never be able to afford.

1,113) Free music downloads.

1,114) Knowing that all the people I truly care about woke up this morning.

1,115) Rooms lit solely by candlelight.

1,116) Whenever Aslan breathes on someone and their fears melt away.

1,117) “True Companion” by Marc Cohn, which will be in my wedding whenever I find a future Mrs.

1,118) A well-placed pun.

1,119) Rain beading on the leaves of a tree after rain.

1,120) Just about anything Art Deco.

1,121) That the religious leaders and the Romans and death and hell couldn’t keep Jesus down, because “That’s my King!”

1,122) Reading a good book at night just before I fall asleep.

1,123) Being signed by my Creator and knowing that means I am priceless.

1,124) People who love animals.

1,125) Not having to listen to or hear about politics of any sort.

1,126) Common sense (even though it isn’t all that common these days).

1,127) The ways God has of keeping me humble.

1,128) That at this very moment someone could be saying an eternal “Yes” to Jesus.

1,129) The vision in Revelation of every tongue and every tribe being represented before the throne of God in heaven.

1,130) Seeing a well-made movie adaptation of a good book, such as The Hunger Games.

1,131) The look of a newly-mowed lawn.

1,132) Sharing my favorite books with other people.

1,133) Having Charity as the person who cuts my hair.

1,134) Big Momma’s Pancake Breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

1,135) Zero candy bars (even though they’re not easy to find anymore).

1,136) Natural health remedies.

1,137) Getting the scoop about a movie on Rotten Tomatoes.

1,138) Not taking life for granted anymore.

1,139) That God never takes me for granted ever.

1,140) That I’ll be sleeping in about 20-30 minutes from now.