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The Art of the Blog

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I’m sitting here at my laptop (+5 cool points) wearing my brown plaid shorts (-10 cool points) and pondering the mysteries of the universe. Which means I don’t have a topic to blog about and I can’t for the life of me think of one at the moment.

This is “stream-of-consciousness” blogging, or more accurately, “making stuff up as I go and hoping something sticks.”

I realize now this is why most people don’t do the daily blog thing. It’s really hard coming up with new and fresh and relevant material day after day. Especially when the highlight of your day was spending an hour on the elliptical.

I’m just an ordinary guy who loves God and loves to write. My goal is to communicate the truth of Who this God is and Who this Jesus is and to help you in your discovery of who you are in Christ and who God made you to be.

It’s hit or miss. Some blogs work, some don’t. Some may speak to you in the depth of your soul, some may just be words on a page. That’s okay.

I really do believe that if I was the only one getting anything out of this, that would be enough. And it is theraputic and healing to get these thoughts out of my head and down into a tangible format.

I intend to keep blogging away for as long as God allows. I intend to keep telling the good news that God really is for you and He really likes and loves you and He does have a wonderful plan for your life. He is the wonderful plan for your life.

I’m not saying everything will be sunshine and roses and kittens in baskets. Life is hard and storms do come. But God is just as faithful on the dark and stormy nights as He is in the sunshiny summer days. That’s all.

Your regularly scheduled game of Farmville will now resume. Thank you and have a pleasant evening.

My Last Day on Earth

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I was thinking about the shootings at the movie theatre in Colorado today. Not in a morbid way. I was thinking what if I was one of those 12 people who went into the theatre to see The Dark Knight Rises, never realizing that my life was about to end.

What if I knew that today was my last day? How would it change how I lived?

I know I’d be more forgiving and understanding of others, far less quick to pass judgments and far more eager to give grace and the benefit of the doubt. I’d be more forgiving of myself when I do and say stupid stuff.

I’d spend less time getting the to-do list checked off and much more time hanging out with the people who matter to me.

I’d be braver and take more chances. Probably not sky-diving or bull-riding, but I’d do at least one thing that I’d been scared of doing before.

I’d appreciate the people in my life who have really been my friends and family and who have loved me when I wasn’t too easy to love and supported and encouraged me when I needed it most.

I’d make every effort to let the people in my life know how much they meant to me and how grateful I was for them, because no tomorrow is guaranteed for me or for anyone else. I would never assume that people know how special and uniquely-created they are; I’d tell them.

I’d be a lot more thankful for the little things in my life like the sun rising every morning, the flowers that bloom every spring, the sweet scent of summer air that takes me back to my childhood. I’d say “Thank you, God,” a lot more and really mean it.

What if I lived every day of the rest of the life God gives me as if it were my last day?

 

Why I am Deactivating My Facebook Account (For Now)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

This is the official announcement that as of today, I am taking a break from facebook for the time being. It was a decision that had been in the back of my mind but I think I finally reached the breaking point today.

As juvenile as this seems, I got upset when a friend of mine liked someone else’s post and not mine. That was the epiphany for me, the sudden realization that facebook had become an idol in my life. And for the record, this is not in any way to blame the other person at all, but to show how messed up my priorities had become.

I was too wrapped up in whether people liked or commented on my posts and was at times defining myself by that. I spent way too much time trying to figure out why this or that person never commented on or liked any of my posts. It was getting out of hand.

Hence, the break from facebook. I will still be posting on twitter.com and writing blogs and you can always call or text me if you want to get in touch with me. This won’t be forever– just until I can get my priorities straight again.

Please pray for me during this time. I know it will be difficult at times to resist the temptation to get back on and just check that last status update. Pray that I will fill the time wisely in seeking God’s face and really be able to hear His voice.

I want to thank all of you who were (and still are) my facebook friends. Your friendship has meant so much to me and I cherish each and every one of you and all the ways you’ve blessed me both in and out of facebookland.

 

Choices

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I have been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much. I do tend to overthink and overanalyze every little thing.

I’ve decided that living your life based on feelings is a poor way to live. Feelings are so fickle and shallow and affected by every little thing. If you rely solely on feelings, you will be scattered and tossed about by every wind and wave. If you let them, feelings will control you, not the other way around.

Instead I am living by choice.

I choose to believe the best about my friends at all times, especially when circumstances and feelings tell me not to, because circumstances and feelings are very often misleading.

I choose not base relationships on responses (or lack thereof) to posts and texts and messages. That’s just plain silly. It doesn’t indicate anything other than the other person actually has a life and doesn’t spend it all on facebook.

I choose to never ever ever ever give up on anyone in my life because I know that God never gave up on me and I have had people in my life who chose to not give up on me when they had every right to.

I choose to live by faith, not by sight or feelings or perceptions. ‘Nuff said.

I choose to give God the same room and space and time to work in the lives of my friends and family as He took in my own life. It took me a while to get where I am (and I’m not done yet) so I realize that others are also broken people in the process of being made whole.

I choose to keep doing what I’m doing. I’ll keep texting and posting encouragement even if no one responds or likes or comments on it. I’ll keep blogging even if no one reads them. I’ll keep praying even if I don’t get any visible answers. I’ll keep believing even when it feels stupid and fake. I’ll keep trusting God to work in and through my life even in those moments when it all seems pointless.

That’s what I choose today. I choose to serve the Lord.

Farewell to Mayberry

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I saw recently where Andy Griffith passed away. For me, it’s truly the end of an era of innocence and simplicity. Sure, I know that the old Andy Griffith Show wasn’t the most realistic TV show ever, but even if it was only a dream, it was a good dream.

Thank you, Andy.

You showed the world that a true man doesn’t need swagger or bravado to be a man. A true man doesn’t need to yell or hit people to prove his masculinity.

You showed that being a real man means being a good nephew, a good father, and a good citizen. You showed that masculinity means leading by example and not just with words.

You showed me it’s okay to admit when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness. You weren’t perfect by any means, but you never quit being the gentleman or took the day off from doing the right thing.

Thank you for your humble attitude, your love for your son, your love of God, and your quiet determination.

I and every other man look at you as a hero and hope to be the kind of man you were someday.

 

5 Minutes

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I’ve been trying to lose weight and get in shape. Lately, that means putting in an hour on the elliptical. For me, that’s a lot.

Some mornings, I feel there’s no way I can last that long. So I try for the first 5 minutes. After that, I try for 10. And so forth. If I break an hour down into 5-minute segments, it’s not nearly so bad.

Life is like that.

Some days, you think there’s no way you can survive for the next 24-hours. You feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. Don’t try. Just take the next 5 minutes and breathe deeply and slowly and think to yourself, “I can survive the next 5 minutes.”

Sometimes, you are held captive by your fears telling you that you’ve really messed it up this time and that friend is gone for good. It’s tempting to try and fix what really isn’t broken (which never works, by the way). Or you take the next 5 minutes and are able to start seeing the cracks in the fabric of that lie.

You can do anything for 5 minutes. You can pray or be silent or wait. You can breathe slowly and deeply. You can remember one blessing God has given you and dwell on that.

When I’m stressed out and can’t sleep, 5 minutes of meditating on the goodness of God can make all the difference. It can take me from almost falling back into my old approval-addiction, “nobody likes me” trap to remembering that I am still blessed with family and friends who surprise me all the time in unexpected ways with grace at every turn.

So set your stopwatch or your phone for 5 minutes. It may be a small start, but sometimes all Jesus needs in your life is the smallest place to start. Then He can do amazing things in your life.

I am living proof of that.

 

Fountain Ramah Church

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A friend invited me to attend services at Fountain Ramah Church. She gave me directions because she doubted that my GPS would pick it up. She was probably right.

I drove down Blue Hole Road until it dead-ended, turned left then made an immediate left onto a gravel road. The first time, all I saw was a doublewide trailer with a fence around it and a no trespassing sign. So I went all the way to the other end of Blue Hole Road, turned around and came all the way back. This time I found it.

I stepped inside to what looked like a converted garage. There were chairs for probably 60 people. There was no typical-for-Nashville worship band of professional musicians. The singer was a bit off-key at times, but it was the purest worship I’ve experienced in a long time.

The preacher spoke with a heavy dialect and was hard to understand, but I have rarely been moved by a sermon as much as I was by this one. He spoke with a passion and fervancy that ignited something in me.

At the end, he prayed over some of the members. He laid hands on them and prayed blessing and protection and healing over them.

He motioned for me to come forward. I had to look around to make sure he wasn’t pointing at someone else. He laid hands on me and prayed for me to know my purpose. He prayed that my hands would be the hands that Jesus used to touch and heal people. I was moved to tears.

He prayed for my friend who is leaving for Colombia in about 4 weeks. He prayed protection and anointing over her. It was just like when the early church commissioned Paul and Barnabas as missionaries by laying hands on them and praying for them.

It was the closest to New Testament church that I’ve ever experienced. I was so blessed and encouraged and challenged.

To my friend who invited me, thank you. Thank you not only for inviting me, but also for being my friend. When I think of all the people who have impacted my life and made me more like Jesus, you will always be near the top of the list. I count you not only as my friend and my sister in Christ, but as my hero as well. May future generations rise up and call you blessed for your faithfulness to the call of Christ on your life.

 

A Little Note for Us Co-dependents Out There

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Hi, my name is Greg, and I’m a recovering co-dependent. Maybe you are, too. Here’s how you know you are with me in this.

Maybe you have lain awake at night like me, agonizing over how you’ve really messed up and offended a particular person. You’re positive that the relationship is ruined and that person will never ever talk to you again. The next day, that person was totally fine with you.

Maybe you’ve posted or blogged or texted and not gotten any responses or likes. Maybe you felt ignored or like what you had to say wasn’t important. Or really, deep down inside, that you weren’t important for anybody to bother with.

Maybe you’ve sat and stared at that sidebar on facebook that tells you which friends are currently on facebook and looked for a green dot beside a particular name. If you’re anything like me, you’ve wondered, “Why isn’t this person ever online when I’m online? Are they avoiding me?” while wondering what kind of medication you probably need to be taking right about now.

Maybe you thought that if anyone really knew the real you, they wouldn’t stick around. You probably have felt that eventually all your relationships will end because the other person will decide that you’re just not worth the effort anymore.

Maybe you’ve wondered why a certain person, instead of sitting next to you, chose to sit in the row behind you. Maybe you were feeling like a leper and thinking, “Am I really that much of a freak?” Even though you know that’s not true, it’s one thing to know it in your head and entirely another thing to receive it with your heart.

Maybe you overanalyze every word and action and are always on a crazy see-saw ride of “he/she really likes me” to “maybe they don’t like me anymore” to “well, I guess I blew that chance.”

Maybe you define yourself by what others tell you. Maybe you need constant affirmation and approval to feel normal. The sad part is that it’s never enough. You think if someone likes your post, “Why didn’t they comment?” or if they commented, “Well, geez. That was a bit impersonal.” It’s never enough.

Maybe you’ve been attracted to someone and killed the idea before it even had a chance. You’ve thought, “There’s no way she (or he) will ever like me as anything more than a friend” or “There’s probably a dozen or more people she (or he) would be better off with.” You read into innocent little actions as signs that the interest isn’t reciprocated.

The beautiful part is that God has already told us who we are. We are the Beloved, Sons and Daughters of the King, Wonderfully and Fearfully Made in His Image, Redeemed, Beautiful, and Exactly Who He Made Us to be.

God is pleased with you and me as we are, not as we should be or will be, because He sees Jesus in us.

Also, God puts people in our lives who love us regardless, who encourage and bless us daily, and who won’t ever walk out on us. People who give just the right words at just the right time to lift our spirits.

It’s been a long process for me, but the healing has been a beautiful thing to see. I could not have written this two years ago (and probably not even one year ago). I am amazed at what God does in a life where He’s given even the tiniest amount of room to work.

I am living proof that God can change anybody anywhere at anytime, no matter how far gone or hopeless they seem. I love the saying that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

Good Conversations

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I had a really good conversation with a good friend I’ve known for a while today. It was at Starbucks, so of course quality beverages were involved. In this case, it was two chai frappachinos with caramel on top. I highly recommend one if you ever get the chance.

It was one of those conversations that makes you a better person. It was one where I realized again just how blessed I am to have friends like this. I truly believe that I will look back 50 years from now and see that I am more like Jesus because of conversations like this one.

What will you remember about your conversations 50 years from now? Will you remember anything worthwhile that you said or heard? Will you be able to point to those times where you changed for the better because of the healing and encouragement and blessing spoken into your life?

I know I am who I am because of God speaking life into me through so many friends and family members. Not all the words were easy to hear, but every word carried the power of God to transform and renew me.

Thank you, friend, for blessing me every time I see you. It’s because of you and others like you that I am finally able to see myself and love myself the way God does and love others the same way.

May you be blessed a thousand times over for your words of comfort and kindness to me. May you never forget how fond your Abba is of you and always feel His smile of approval over you in everything you say and do.

The same goes for all of you reading this right now.

 

Sometimes

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I really, really hate to admit this after all my talk of how God has healed me in the past. It feels like I’m pulling a fast one on you after I’ve announced to everyone how God has been delivering me from my fears. But here it is.

Sometimes at night when I’m tired, I get overwhelmed for a moment by fears.

I fear that this time I really have said or done the absolute stupid and wrong thing and a particular friend is gone for good. He or she has un-friended me and taped a picture of me to a dartboard for target practice.

I fear that I will always be single because no girl will ever find me attractive or desirable and I will always be left with this unfulfilled longing inside of me.

I fear that I’m really not good at anything and really won’t ever find a career that really makes me come alive to who God created me to be.

I think the difference this time is that I can name these thoughts as lies. It may not completely take away the panic and the pain, but it helps when I see these thoughts for what they are and their true origin from the father of lies.

I know now that most of the time a good night’s sleep will help these fears go away. Sometimes, it’s a glass of warm milk. Sometimes, it’s just practicing deep breathing. Sometimes, it’s saying, “Abba Father” over and over. Sometimes, it’s resting in the eternal Arms of my Abba Father and listening as He sings over me to calm my anxiety.

It’s okay for me to have setbacks and regressions, because they keep me grateful and thankful for the times when I am living out of faith and not fear. And those times are more and more prevalent.

There will always be something to fear. There will always be those moments when you give in to that fear. The question is: Can you name that fear for what it is and claim the promises of Jesus over it? Sometimes, you have to claim them out loud, but even when you don’t have a voice to speak them out, they are still powerful and true and for you.

Perfect love casts out all fear. In my case, perfect Love is casting out all fears, one at a time. I hope you find this to be true for you. Because the freedom is so much more than worth it.