The Gracious Wounds of God

“Sometimes the most gracious, merciful thing God could ever do is wound you. To wound you, (and in that wound bind you to Himself) is far more gracious than to bless you with everything you want and have you not know Him” (Matt Chandler).

I found out recently that my pastor who is battling cancer is in stage 4. I also learned that a surgery last month to remove the cancer was unsuccessful. At that point, a lot of people would either give into fear or throw in the proverbial towel altogether. But not my pastor.

He has maintained an incredible and submissive attitude throughout the entire ordeal. I’m not saying he never is afraid or gives into moments of doubt, but he is trusting God, no matter what the outcome. He reminded us that the way to fight spiritual battles is through praise.

It’s easy for me to lose perspective sometimes when I’m in a struggle and forget that others are dealing with way worse than I am. The secret is not comparison with others or dwelling solely on the problem but keeping our eyes on God. As I’ve heard it recently, the antidote to anxiety is the adoration of God.

My pastor referenced a passage where King Jeoshaphat is facing a combined army that is invading Israel and the odds are not good. Instead of panicking, he turns to God in prayer. The last line of his prayer is one of my favorite verses in the Bible: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

Sometimes, God has to wound us to get us to look up. Sometimes, He allows trials and suffering to get our attention. Sometimes, we face hardships and trials to purify our faith and get us to turn our eyes on Jesus. I’d rather be wounded and find the comfort of closeness with God than get everything I’ve ever wanted and not know God. That would be tragic.

Lord, get our attention. Help us see that there’s nothing else that we could ever desire that is better than You. You are the only one able to hold us together when we feel like we’re falling apart. You’re the only one who can heal our woundedness and brokenness. We don’t know what to do so much of the time, so we once again turn our eyes on You, the author and finisher of our faith. Amen.

So I Have an Old Cat Now

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My cat Lucy turned 15 yesterday. It’s still hard to comprehend that she’s that old because she doesn’t act that old. And if you ask her, she’ll swear up and down that she’s only 9.

I remember picking her out of a litter of one-week old kittens at Vet Pets, a pet store/veterinary clinic, in 2000. I equally remember bringing her home in that hole-y cardboard box when she was five weeks old and how she cried all the way home.

I remember how she got lost when she was three and was gone for two days, the longest two days of my life. But we found her. Apparently, she went up to some strange lady’s door and essentially asked, “I’ve lost my person. Will you be my new person?” Thanks to some lost cat posters all over the neighborhood, the mailman recognized her as the missing cat and she came home to me on Christmas Eve.

Then there was the time she had cancer and it was 50/50 that surgery would get all of the tumor. I cried and prayed and even lit one of those prayer candles like they have in Roman Catholic churches for her. She got better. She’s still 100% cancer-free.

I hope she lives to be 30. That would be great. There’s a part of me that wishes that she’d at least outlive me. But realistically, I know that’s not possible. I know there will be a day when I’ll have to say a final goodbye to my little furry baby (and also to a little piece of my heart). I can’t focus on that but I can cherish every day I get to spend with her.

The same goes to the rest of those I love. I’m not guaranteed a tomorrow. Neither are they. That’s why I can only be thankful for each day that I get to spend with each one of them.

Don’t ever take the ones you love for granted. Don’t ever go to bed angry with a friend or a family member. You never know that you will get the chance in the morning to make it right. Always say the words “I love you” whenever you get the chance. Always.