suffering

Refined

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“One day we took the children to see a goldsmith refine gold after the ancient manner of the East. He was sitting beside his little charcoal fire. (‘He shall sit as a refiner’; the gold- or silversmith never leaves his crucible once it is on the fire.) In the red glow lay a common curved roof tile; another tile covered it like a lid. This was the crucible. In it was the medicine made of salt, tamarind fruit and burnt brick dust, and imbedded in it was the gold. The medicine does its appointed work on the gold, ‘then the fire eats it,’ and the goldsmith lifts the gold out with a pair of tongs, lets it cool, rubs it between his fingers, and if not satisfied puts it back again in fresh medicine. This time he blows the fire hotter than it was before, and each time he puts the gold into the crucible, the heat of the fire is increased; ‘it could not bear it so hot at first, but it can bear it now; what would have destroyed it then helps it now.’ ‘How do you know when the gold is purified?’ we asked him, and he answered, ‘When I can see my face in it [the liquid gold in the crucible] then it is pure’ (Amy Carmichael, Gold Cord).

I love the idea that gold is considered pure when the refiner can see his reflection in it. The same goes for me. When my Maker can see His reflection in me, that’s when I know that I have been refined and made pure.

Lord, refine us so that we will faithfully reflect Your image wherever we go. No matter how long it takes or how hot it gets, keep us in the fire until we are purified from anything that hinders Your image in us. Amen.

We Need to be Needy

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“The disciples are needy in every way. They are simply ‘poor’ (Luke 6:20). They have no security, no property to call their own, no piece of earth they could call their home, no earthly community to which they might fully belong. But they also have neither spiritual power of their own, nor experience or knowledge they can refer to and which could comfort them. For his sake they have lost all that. When they followed him, they lost themselves and everything else which could have made them rich. Now they are so poor, so inexperienced, so foolish that they cannot hope for anything except him who called them” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer).

We need to be needy. I think American Christianity has made it to where the idea of a life of faith is one where you gradually become more and more self-sufficient, where God is great in theory but you get to where you can handle just about anything on your own.

Then I look at those ragtag disciples of Jesus. I remember how the religious leaders who tried to shut them up recognized two things right away about these men: 1) they were unlearned and ignorant about a lot of things, probably uncouth and uncivilized, and 2) they had been with Jesus.

That was what being a disciple meant back then. Your whole life revolved around your rabbi. You ate when he ate, slept when he slept, moved when he moved. You learned to quote the rabbi in all matters of conversation. You eventually got to where you spoke and acted just like your rabbi.

We’ve made discipleship into head knowledge where having a head full of Bible facts means that you’re mature. But then why are so many older believers still acting like spiritual infants and still ignorant when it comes to what they believe and how to live it out? Why do so many Christians not look very much like their Christ?

The key is obedience. We don’t need new information as much as we need to live what we’ve already learned and obey what we already know. We need to get back to being children when it comes to faith (as opposed to being childish) and be willing to look foolish and needy in the sight of others so they can see how much we rely on Jesus for everything.

Lord, help us to be wise and childlike, willing to appear ignorant in the eyes of the world but identified as those who have been around Jesus a whole lot. Amen.

Getting Hold of God

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“Whenever the insistence is on the point that God answers prayer, we are off the track. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If I’m not careful, prayer can become like my childhood letterd to Santa. Those typically started off with me stating how I’d been good all year and thus was worthy of all the loot I had coming to me. The specifics of those letters escapes me, but I’m sure that I was like every other kid back in the day who mailed actual letters in envelopes to an address somewhere at the North Pole.

We do the same with God. It’s like, “God, thanks for being God. Here’s what I want from You” and then the list of wants and needs begins. Sometimes, we even have a list of people we’re praying for (which is by no means a bad thing to do).

But prayer isn’t as much getting things from God as it is getting to know God. The more you know God, the more your wants and needs change. By the end, I suspect we’re praying God’s prayers back to Him. That means we’re asking God for what God wants for us and in us. We want the same things He does.

In the mean time, it is perfectly acceptable to come to God in prayer without asking for anything but simply to adore Him and thank Him for who He is. I think the less we’re concerned about getting answers, the more we’ll see God at work because our focus won’t be so narrowly limited to His hand.

The good news is that even if you feel you’ve been doing it all wrong in prayer and treating Him as Cosmic Santa, you can always start over in a sense. You can spend at least part of your prayer time in adoration and thanksgiving before processing to petitions. You can look for opportunities throughout the day to thank God for what He’s doing, even if you can’t always see what that is.

Again, the point as always is to pray. The best way to get better at praying isn’t listening to more sermons or reading more books about prayer but praying — and being around people who pray often and pray well. That has helped me a lot. I still think reading books of prayers is good, like the Book of Common Prayer or The Valley of Vision. But mostly just pray.

Grieving a Pet

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“I will never laugh at anyone for grieving over a loved beast. I think God wants us to love Him more, not to love creatures (even animals) less. We love everything in one way too much (i.e., at the expense of our love for Him), but in another way we love everything too little.

No person, animal, flower, or even pebble has ever been loved too much—i.e., more than every one of God’s works deserves” (C. S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III),

Thankfully, I haven’t lost a pet in a while, but I remember how much I grieved. My first cat Lucy was such a steady little presence in my life, and it broke my heart when she wasn’t there anymore.

No, I don’t think there’s any shame in grieving the loss of a pet. Absolutely not. There’s not a scale of acceptability over what kinds of loss are okay to cry over. It’s loss. It hurts.

Yout pets are constants in your life. They love you without conditions and without reserve. Even when you accidentally step on a tail or knock them on the noggin, they still love you. Even when you’re gone for days, they’re still just as happy to see you the next time.

And there’s a noticeable absence when they’re gone — a kind of void. The best way to celebrate the life of aa pet you’ve lost is to find another to love, preferably from a shelter or a place that rescues animals. Those are the kinds that need your love the most and will love you back the most.

But it’s okay to cry for a cat or a dog . . . or even a hamster or a parakeet. It doesn’t matter as long as they brought joy into your life and made your world better.

Another New Favorite

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I ran across another great worship song that strikes me as being a bit of a lament. It’s telling God, “This is where I am, and this is how I feel, but this is what I’ve come to learn about You.”

I hope these words will speak to you, especially if you’re in the midst of a struggle or a low period in your life. I’ve also included a video in case you want to hear it:

“How long will I have to hear the stories
Of how you were able
How long will I have to celebrate
The miracle that’s not my own
How long will I lift my voice and sing again
That you are always good
When I’m feeling all this distance
I thought I never would
How long

As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me miracle or not

How long will I give myself
Before I give up waiting
How long will I have to hide behind this smile
That says that I’m okay
How long will I hold on to the promises
I thought I heard you speak
When every passing day
Just leaves me broken down and weak

As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me miracle or not

I will sing it ’til my broken heart believes it
I’ll declare it ’til I smell the smoke of faith
And with my hands held high
I’ll scream it to the darkness
‘Til hope is finally louder than the ache

I will sing it ’til my broken heart believes it
I’ll declare it ’til I smell the smoke of faith
And with my hands held high
I’ll scream it in the darkness
‘Til hope is finally louder than the ache

As long as it takes for my heart to find its song
As long as it takes to know I’m still not alone
And at the end of the day
I’ll stand right here and say
I know that you love me
I know that you love me
I know that you love me miracle or not
Miracle or not” (Michael Farren / Mark Alan Schoolmeesters / Lou Fellingham)

Love Standing in the Very Teeth of Suffering

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“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. The cross was the proof of His love – that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though “legions of angels” might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us – not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process” (Elisabeth Elliott).

Pain isn’t always bad. Sometimes pain means that healing is taking place. Those with broken bones can attest that while the breaking of the bone is painful, so is the healing of the break. But while neither is pleasant, the pain of healing must take place for there to be mending, or else the bone stays broken.

We are the same way. We’re broken. God is healing us. There’s pain involved in that process, but it’s better than the pain of remaining broken. And sometimes for a bone to set and heal properly, it has to be re-broken so it will mend properly.

If you want the ultimate picture of suffering in love, look at Jesus. God did not spare Jesus one moment of suffering, but He instead spared us from the worst of it. While we still undergo pain, God made sure that the worst of it fell on Jesus. He went through hell so we won’t have to. That’s love.

On a side note, parents that never allow their children to suffer or even be inconvenienced aren’t necessarily doing them any favors. Just as the butterfly’s struggle to emerge from the cocoon strengthens its wings to fly, so children struggle to become adults who are strong enough to think and live apart from their parents and on their own.

And for the record, I don’t believe the idea that God never gives us more than we can handle. He never gives us more than He can handle. Sometimes, it’s more than we can bear on our own, so we’re forced to rely on the God who made us to sustain us. That’s when we become more like Jesus.

Revisiting Downton Abbey

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Recently, I’ve started rewatching the Downton Abbey series from Season 1, Episode 1 to the very end. This time around, I have a bit of a different perspective because I have seen the series through all the way to the last movie, so I know how the story ends. And for those who still haven’t seen it, there are spoilers ahead (although if you still haven’t seen any episodes, it’s really not my fault, is it?)

That makes a difference. While I can commensurate with Bates and his early struggles, I’m not quite as anxious about his future. I see the daughters acting a bit spoiled, but I remember that’s not how they turn out in the end. That helps when I lowkey want to slap one or two of them upside the head.

The same applies for life. I’ve read the last pages of my Bible, so I know how it all turns out. I know that while the current struggles may seem interminable, they aren’t the last part of my story. As a very famous writer once said, your story won’t end with ashes.

For the believer in Christ, it only gets better from here. I don’t mean that all your pain and suffering instantly ceases in this life, and the rest is sunshine and roses, but we know that this life isn’t all there is. In fact, every part of what seems like forever in this world will only be light and momentary troubles compared to the eternal weight of glory that’s coming.

Another bonus for rewatching a series is anticipating some of my favorite moments from the first time around. In life, we have those moments as well, although they’re not as easy to predict. There will be fleeting glimpses of heaven on earth in this life that will only serve to make us long even more for the real heaven and the new earth.

Worry vs. Prayer

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Ann Voskamp said to be a prayer warrior and not a panicked worrier. I think about that a bit lately. One does absolutely no good but only keeps you up at night and keeps you from focusing on what matters. One is the way to the throne of grace where we find help in time of need.

Worry changes nothing. Prayer changes everything.

Worry makes you sick. Literally. Over time, your body will start to manifest symptoms of sickness if you let worry consume you constantly. Prayer on the other hand transforms you. It changes the way you see everything, including your problems.

Worry is a way of looking at the world without God in it. It’s funny how all your anxiety-laden possible outcomes end up with it being completely up to you to fix everything. Prayer shows that not only is God in the picture, but He has already made a way through. He has already overcome. The victory is not only possible but certain.

Worry comes natural. It’s a default setting for every single person born after the Fall. We’re hard-wired to worry and fret and to be anxious over every little thing. But prayer is a discipline that requires work. To get better at praying, you have to pray. You have to learn from others who are older and wiser and who have spent a lifetime learning how to pray. You have to be immersed in the Word of God to know the will of God to pray in the name of Jesus.

But the good news is that you don’t have to be good at praying to pray. You can choose today to pray instead of worrying. Today can be the day that you say to Jesus, “Teach me to pray as you taught the disciples.” And He will do it.

In the words of the great theologian M. C, Hammer, “You got to pray just to make it today.”

Good words.

Not the End of the World

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I don’t know if you’ve ever done something incredibly stupid that you instantly regret. I mean the very instant you realize what you’ve done you’re hoping for one of those supernatural remote controls that let you rewind 30 second and replay the scene. Just me? Cool.

I know I’m not alone. I’ve had plenty of those moments where I still have no explanation for what I was thinking or why I did what I did, but so far in every single case up to this point, the world has not stopped turning. Civilization as we know it did not come to a screeching halt. We are all still here.

I love the fact that God, to put it bluntly, factored in our stupidity into His plans. The fact that over and over again the Bible refers to us as sheep isn’t because they’re cute and cuddly. It’s not because of their warm and gentle nature or their great personalities. They’re kinda dumb, to put it mildly.

But they have a great Shepherd. That’s what we also have in common. We have a God who is able to take our worst moments and mistakes and work even those into good. Somehow, those memories you wish you could erase forever become part of your testimony and the very means God uses to fulfill His purposes.

So remember that the planet looks exactly the same before and after your colossal blunder. God is not reacting out of shock or surprise. He knew before you were born not only your name and the number of hairs on your head but also how many dumb things you would do and say in your lifetime. And not one of them ended up screwing up His plan or ending the world.

Think about that as you lay your head on your pillow tonight, and sleep well. God is still in control.

Enter His Gates

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“Enter his gates with thanksgiving;
    go into his courts with praise.
    Give thanks to him and praise his name” (Psalm 100:4, NLT).

I must have read this Psalm at least a hundred times before and never noticed that the first verse is not a suggestion but a command. Enter his gates with thanksgiving is God telling us not to wait until the Sunday service starts to begin worship.

The problem with so many of us is that we enter into the presence of God with anything but God on our minds. We’re thinking about what to have for lunch, what Monday’s workload will look like, how to get the kids ready quicker next Sunday, how not to stay up so late on a Saturday again, etc.

The key is having an attitude of worship the other 167 hours of the week and not just the one hour a week that we meet on Sundays. Worship needs to be more than just the four or five songs we sing in any given church service. It should encompass everything we are and everything we do. That’s worship.

If you break down the word, worship = worth + ship. We’re declaring the worth of God, or shipping His worth if you want to use more current vernacular. We’re letting people around us know that God is worth our sacrifice, our serving, and even our very selves. God is worth everything we are and everything we have , , , and then some.

I believe that if we wait until 9:00 am on a Sunday to decide to worship. we’ve missed worship. We’ve turned it into what someone aptly described as Christian karaoke. We’re singing words to songs about God — some songs we know well and don’t have to think about what we’re singing and others we don’t sing because we don’t know them well enough.

My prayer is that our worship is 24/7 and consists of more than singing songs and lifting hands. Lord, make our entire lives an offering of worship to You as living sacrifices that bless and glorify your name. Amen.