relationships

Being Still and Silent This Season

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I love the part of Kairos where Uncle Mike (or Mike Glenn to the rest of you) tells us to get comfortable, to put both feet on the floor, and to take a couple of deep breaths. What follows is always some of the best prayer time I have all week.

Those physical postures like folding your hands, bowing your head, and closing your eyes may seem like meaningless religious rituals, but for me they have great benefit.

I shut out the rest of the world for the next few moments and don’t have to worry about my ADD getting kicked into high gear by the incidental activity and noise all around me. I can be still and silent.

To be still and silent during this Advent season seems odd and almost wrong. This is the time of year when you have parties to attend, gifts to buy, decorations to put up, and 1,001 church-related activities on the calendar.

But I think it’s more than a good idea. It’s necessary. You need to periodically reorient yourself so that you can once again find the Child in the manger amidst all the other gaudy ornaments beckoning for your attention. Like the Shepherds and Wise Men, it’s good to have that moment of silent worship and reverent awe.

So far, I’ve broken every promise I made to myself to really emphasize celebrating this Advent season. I’ve let so many other tasks and causes and distractions, some selfish and some good, get in the way. I haven’t been still and silent with the intention of letting God speak to me.

Maybe even with two weeks left until Christmas, it’s still not too late to start again on that path to Bethlehem and the lowly manger. I’m planning on it. I hope you are, too.

An Advent Prayer I Love

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I found this when I was scrolling through some old notes I had posted on Facebook. And by old, I mean from 2010.

This one caught my attention, not just because it’s from one of my favorite authors of all time, but because it is such a beautiful prayer for this Advent season. I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me every time I’ve read it:

“O Lord, how hard it is to accept your way. You come to me as a small, powerless child born away from home. You live for me as a stranger in your own land. You die for me as a criminal outside the walls of the city, rejected by your own people, misunderstood by your friends, and feeling abandoned by your God.

As I prepare to celebrate your birth, I am trying to feel loved, accepted, and at home in this world, and I am trying to overcome the feelings of alienation and separation which continue to assail me. But I wonder now if my deep sense of homelessness does not bring me closer to you than my occasional feelings of belonging. Where do I truly celebrate your birth: in a cozy home or in an unfamiliar house, among welcoming friends or among unknown strangers, with feelings of well-being or with feelings of loneliness?

I do not have to run away from those experiences that are closest to yours. Just as you do not belong to this world, so I do not belong to this world. Every time I feel this way I have an occasion to be grateful and to embrace you better and taste more fully your joy and peace.

Come, Lord Jesus, and be with me where I feel poorest. I trust that this is the place where you will find your manger and bring your light. Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Amen” (Henri Nouwen)

An Advent Prayer for Every Man I Know

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This is my prayer and my challenge for you men.

I pray you will be men, regardless of how politically incorrect or culturally unpopular it is. I pray you will have strong values and convictions and then be strong and brave to live up to those.

I pray you will learn how to look past a woman’s outward attractiveness to the true beauty within, that you see every woman not as an object but as a Princess, bought and paid for by her King.

I pray you will find your own Princess in God’s perfect time and you will learn to love her like Christ loves His own Bride and lay down your life for her every single day of the rest of your life.

I pray you rediscover the wonder and awe of the Advent season, that you learn again to laugh unabashedly with delight and to weep unashamedly with tears of both sorrow and joy.

I pray you find your own example in Joseph, who once He understood God’s plan, took Mary for His wife and raised Jesus as His own Son and whose obedience and faithfulness was mirrored in Jesus’ own obedience and faithfulness to the Father.

If you’re married, I pray your wife and children will see you falling in love with Jesus and living out that love. I pray you will lead your family by being not the stern taskmaster but the toweled feet-washer, the servant who leads by example.

May the greatest gift you receive this Christmas be a reaffirmation of knowing that your Abba really is fond of you. May your affirmation and identity come not from your wife or your family or your career or your house or your car but from being a Prince, bought and paid for by your King.

Last, always remember this: don’t be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Be a gentleman.

I’m So Very Tired That I . . .

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I am tired. I mean more than “I slept until noon and now I need a frappucino from Starbucks” tired. I mean soul-weary and bone-tired. I figured out by my vast mathematical skills that by tomorrow’s end I will have worked almost 70 hours this week. That’s a lot.

I’m so very tired that I spent 20 minutes looking for my iPhone last Sunday. The very iPhone that was attached to my belt the whole time. I even called it a few times from the house phone. Sad.

I’m so very tired that not even my super-awesome concoction of coffee + hot chocolate + creamer seems to be working lately. I even almost miss those Diet Mountain Dews. Almost.

I’m so very tired that I fantasize about sleeping in. Just sleeping in, under the covers, alarm clock turned off. That’s all. And by sleeping in, I mean past 5 am.

I’m so very tired that even I am wondering what I’m doing typing this when I could be sleeping and dreaming and all those restful things. The sacrifices I make for my art. Sigh.

I’m so very tired I think I actually fell asleep twice on Wednesday in the middle of working, each time for about 15 seconds. I don’t think I dreamed that.

I’m so very thankful that my God never gets tired, never needs sleep, never grows weary of watching over His children or blessing them.

I’m so very thankful that there is never a moment when I’m out of His care, away from His gaze, or not in His heart. Not one.

Now I get to go to bed. I get to rest. God willing, I will get to wake up and go to a good job and live my blessed life for one more day.

Life is good, God is great, and I am still more blessed than I deserve.

Questions to Ponder (from May 20, 2010)

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“I’ve been thinking about grey areas lately and the question as to whether or not something is a sin or not, like a particular TV show or movie or song or social activity or a particular group of people or whatever.

Here’s are some questions to ask:

Does what I am doing or what I am watching or who I’m around draw me closer to Christ or drive me away?

Does it lead me toward desiring communion with other believers or to despising their company?

Am I in a place where I am wanting to be surrounded by people who are passionately pursuing Jesus or their own pleasures and agendas?

Do the people I hang around with inspire me to be more Christlike?

I think the answer to these questions will indicate whether something is a sin for you or not.

Sin leads you away from God every time. Sin separates you not only from God, but from His people. Sin keeps you playing a role and never being your true self.

These are questions I have to ask of myself and I am by no means offering myself as the expert on the issue. I’m just offering up some food for thought.”

One additional thought: it’s one thing to be around non-believers and try to be an influence. It’s quite another to spent time with people who profess faith with their words but deny it with their lives.

 

Technology Rocks (Or Why I Love My iPad 3)

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Recently, I have made strides in my technological awareness and hipsterness. And by recently, I mean the last two years.

First came the Sony Vaio, which narrowly defeated the MacBook Pro as my choice of laptop. And I do mean narrowly. Ultimately, the Vaio was cheaper.

Then came the iPhone 5. I thought about other choices like droids and Windows phones, but for me it wasn’t much of a contest. Most people I know who have smart phones have iPhones and just about all the ones who have iPhones love them. Case closed.

The iPad 3 came into my hands unexpectedly. I wanted to downsize and simplify my life, so I went through and picked out LOTS of DVDs and CDs to trade in at McKays. I received enough credit to get the 64 GB iPad 3 they had on display.

Actually, I had enough total credit to get two iPads. The first one, an iPad 2, I ended up giving to mother dearest, and the second one I am typing this on.

I’ve decided that my next laptop will in no uncertain terms be a Mac. I think me and Windows have irreconcilable differences and it’s best that we part ways.

I do think that as great and wonderful as technology is, it can (and should) never replace face-to-face conversations. I think we are losing the ability to be in community and to have meaningful relationships due to our unhealthy obsession with all things social media and smart phones and tablets.

It’s not uncommon to ignore the person in front of you to chat with someone via text. Social media might not have killed common courtesy and manners, but it has paved the slippery slope toward that end.

You can have up to 5,000 friends on Facebook and almost as many followers on Twitter and Instagram. The result? We take people and relationships for granted and treat friendships casually and cavalierly.

We’ve even bought into the insidious lie that you can be friends with everyone. You can be friendly with everyone, but if you want actual relationships with even the tiniest bit of depth and meaning, you have to choose a handful of lives to invest in.

I’m glad when I needed help God didn’t send a text or a tweet. He didn’t post on my Facebook wall or poke me. He sent His real-life, flesh-and-blood, one-of-a-kind Son. He took on my skin and walked around in my shoes.

Yeah, I need to put down my devices more and be in the moment. To look people in the eye and smile and say hi. In an age where communication has never been more prevalent and available, people are more lonely than ever before.

But I still want my Mac.

Pre-WordPress Writings Part 5

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An poem I wrote back in the day

18 March 2010

 
The Prodigal is You 
 
How tragic is the mess I made 
And I no better than a slave 
Yet to me the world You gave 
The Prodigal is You 
 
How blessed just to be the one 
For whom the Father-King would run 
To kiss my cheek and call me, “Son” 
The Prodigal is You 

You wore the robe that I defiled 
And gave Your own to this mean child 
Your love carried me all the while 
The Prodigal is You 

No more fear

29 March 2010

 

I have a confession to make. Well, another confession. I have been afraid for most of my adult life. I have lived in fear, which is not really living at all, but existing. Passing time. Waiting it out. I have not taken chances. I have played it safe. I have taken the road well-traveled and regretted every single time not taking that other road. I have been nice and timid and ignored, and I deserved to be ignored, because I was boring. 

I am so done with fear. Do you hear me world? Do you hear me, Satan? I refuse to let fear dictate anymore who I am and what I do. I refuse to sit quietly when I should take a stand. I will take chances, because the old motto says “Those who risk, win.” I will learn to live my life to the fullest and be willing to fall on my face a few times. 

Those of you who knew me a month ago, that is not me anymore. I am so done with that life. This is me now, standing bodly and proclaiming that MY GOD HAS LOVED ME PERFECTLY AND THAT PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR!!!!!

You Know My Name

12 March 2010

 

When I am alone and nobody seems to care, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am ignored in a crowd, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am screaming inside with a smile on my face, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I have one more step left in me before I quit, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I have all that I want and am still empty, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I forget You and walk away from Your promises, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am in heaven and see You waiting for me there, 
Lord, You know my name. 
For it is written in stone and on Your heart.

Pre-WordPress Writings Part 4

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God forgive me for being nice

God, forgive me for being nice and polite and when I should have been taking risks and living. Forgive me for trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and not being me. Forgive me that I am just beginning to learn who that person is. Forgive me for thinking I had to beg people to like me and earn their approval. Forgive me for trying to define myself by what some girl or some group or some status, but not believing that You defined me and said that I was good. No. More than good. I am your masterpiece. Forgive me that I am going to check to see if anyone read this note and if they liked it. If no one reads it but me and you, it was worth it. If anyone had any doubts before, this will set the record straight. I am a broken man who has found grace in Jesus and wants the world to know that He can take broken lives and make them whole again. I am no longer a nice guy. I am a godly man. I am a warrior. My Abba is very fond of me!

This note is for people who will never read it (got your attention now?)

My greatest fear is that if people ever really find out who I am and what I am like, they will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. That I am not good enough. That I do not have what it takes.

So I live to please others. I become whoever I think they want me to be. I strive constantly to prove myself to others, so they can tell me who I am. That I do have what it takes. I feel that if I can make them like me, then I am worthy and not a cosmic *$#-up.

But I can’t make anyone like me or be interested in me. I can only let God love me and let that Love define me. If I let people tell me who I am and define me, they will get it wrong. If I make pleasing people my purpose, they will fail me every single time.

Lord, you are telling me that I am someone beautiful who has meaning and is worthy. I am good enough and I do have what it takes because I have you. I believe what You say about me. Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief.

 

What I Did for Thanksgiving This Year

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What did I get for Thanksgiving this year? Fat. I got fat.

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Seriously, it was a low-key day, even by Thanksgiving standards.

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Me and the fam dined at Cracker Barrel, then I went home and finished my top 50 favorite Christmas movie list. If you want to see it, you’ll have to find me on Instagram.

I kicked off my annual holiday movie fest with the 1994 remake of Miracle on 34th Street. There’s the whole Thanksgiving parade tie-in which makes it the appropriate choice for today. And the parade in the movie was way less creepy than the real-life parade I witnessed on TV today.

For once, there was no football of any kind involved. I just didn’t feel like it.

Tomorrow is Black Friday, which I will honor by sleeping in and dreaming of great deals. On a side note, if you see a great deal on the new iPad Air or a MacBook laptop and feel led by the Spirit to buy one for me, I will give you a shout-out on here. Just sayin’.

I’m thankful for tasty turkey, family, friends, chocolate, warm beds, fleece scarfs, and grace. Maybe not in that order but definitely all of the above and then some.

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For When You’re Too Tired

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I didn’t think I could be this tired and not be asleep. I’ve actually been so tired that I have trouble sleeping, as weird and wrong as that sounds. Plus, I’ve been having some very David Lynch-esque dreams.

I’m reminded of a few things that it’s good to think about when you’re tired.

Everything’s more annoying and I have very little patience with people. I truly “vant to be left alone” as Greta Garbo was always famous for saying. Maybe she was sleep deprived, too.

It’s easy to make comments– or lack of comments– seem much more than they really are. What might have been an oversight suddenly seems like an intentional snub. What is probably just an offhand remark comes across as an insult or a put-down.

It’s easy (at least for me) to think the worst of people when I am super-sleepy and even easier for me to want to give up on them. That monster called Woe-is-me rears its ugly head and makes you think that nobody REALLY cares about you, that eventually they will all desert you.

Fears become amplified and worries take on almost superhuman overtones. You can feel overwhelmed and defeated by the smallest details of your life when you’re tired enough.

By the way, this iPad that I normally love is annoying the crap out of me by not typing what I want it to. Or more truthfully, it’s supposed to read my mind instead of going with what my very sleep-deprived fingers are typing. Duh.

God is good when I am tired and He loves me when I am grouchy. His grace is sufficient for the sleep-deprived and restless (even if they aren’t so young anymore).

I am still growing in grace, which means I make allowances for me to be less than perfect and mature all the time. I know just as I understand when my friends and family have less than stellar moments, those who truly care about me will allow me to be Oscar the Grouch on rare occasions. Just as long as it’s not too often.

I’m thankful on this Thanksgiving Eve for comfy beds, good friends and family, and God’s promise to give sleep and rest to those He loves and cherishes. Which includes you and me.

So good night and sleep tight and don’t let any of those bedbugs bite. And may you hear once more the song of peace and joy thatvyour Abba Father will sing over you again tonight.