Family Reunions

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My cousin posted a picture on Instagram that got me thinking. It was a picture taken of the extended family gathered together, all smiles and laughter.

It made me think back to all those family reunions we used to have back in the day. I so enjoyed seeing those people, many of whom I only saw that one day a year.

Looking back, I have one regret. Why didn’t I get to know these people better when I had the chance? Why did I wait until it was too late?

I think everyone who has ever lost a close loved one will feel like they took their loved one for granted to some degree, that they left words unspoken or good deeds undone.

I look at this picture and I see a lot of people who aren’t around anymore. So many that I miss. If I only had some kind of time machine to go back, even if It were only like watching an old home movie. That would be enough.

You think you will have enough time with those you love. You won’t. You think that if they live a good long life, their passing won’t hurt as much. It will.

All you have is the time you’re given. All you have is today, as the old Robert Earl Keen song goes. Every moment you spend with a loved one now is one less regret you’ll have tomorrow.

Don’t think that I have only sad memories. The majority of the feelings that come from this picture are happy ones. Good ones. I feel like I grew up in a family with a long legacy of love, laughter, honor, and faith. I was (and still am) very blessed.

Bearded Brawny Men and Other Ridiculousness

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Apparently, beards are in. I see guys wearing beards, growing beards, basically reveling in facial hair. I’m not so sure I’m a fan of it.

I don’t say that because my own facial hair is scanty. It takes me forever to grow anything close to resembling a beard, but I’m okay with that. I’m really not bitter about being beardless.

I just think it’s one thing to grow a beard and another to go for the Paul Bunyan look. I mean, what’s up with all the long scraggly beards? Is there a cult out there looking for another David Koresh?

I heard someone say that she was looking for bearded and burly in her men. I guess the blue ox and the red plaid shirt are optional. Hopefully the axe isn’t a requirement.

All that to say this. You be you. Don’t do something because everyone else is doing it. Don’t grow a beard because it’s suddenly fashionable. Life is way too short to live it for the sake of pleasing others.

If you really and truly want to grow a beard down to your knees, don’t listen to me. You go for it and you grow it. If you want to be clean-shaven, you do that.

I’ve been around long enough to know that these trends never stay very long. The more trendy you are today, the more likely it will be that your children will one day look at photos of you and laugh and say things like, “You actually went out in public dressed like that?”

So once again, you be you. Be yourself. In the words of one E. E. Cummings, “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

Don’t ever stop fighting to be you. Ever.

Downtown Franklin Recommendations

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I may have mentioned it a time or two, but I love me some Historic Downtown Franklin. I could very easily see myself living there (or some place very nearby). In fact, I have offered my services as a (very) unofficial tour guide of all my favorite places. In case you can’t afford my exorbitant fees, here’s a list of some of the places I love to visit when I’m there.

1) McCreary’s Irish Pub: I list it first because it’s my favorite. It’s a small place, but I love the vibe. Also, the people who work there are fantastic and will make you feel like you’re at home. I recommend just about everything on the menu.

2) Frothy Monkey: It’s a hip and trendy place to hang out in your North Face jacket with your MacBook sipping on hip and trendy beverages. I almost feel hip and trendy myself when I’m there. When the weather’s good, the best place to be is outside on their upstairs patio or on their front porch.

3) St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: It’s open 24/7 and makes for a good place to go and pray or meditate or just be still for a few moments. If you’re quiet long enough, you can almost hear the ghosts of old parishioners walking up and down on the old creaky floorboards.

4) The Franklin Tea Room: I just discovered this little gem of a place. It’s a great place to have tea and read a good book. I chose cinnamon spice tea and The Great Gatsby. It does close early, so go there first thing.

5) Franklin Theatre: It’s a beautifully restored old movie theater where you can still catch a classic movie (or a more recent one), hear a concert, or see a live stage play. I always try to see at least one Christmas movie there during December.

There are lots more places to check out, like Grey’s on Main or Puckett’s. There’s even St. Philip’s Catholic Church that has a breath-taking old chapel that used to be the main sanctuary. I recommend walking up and down Main Street, taking in a few of the antique stores, satisfying your sweet tooth at Sweet CeCe’s, and (most importantly) bringing your camera to take lots of scenic pics.

There may or may not be a sequel to this blog. I haven’t decided yet. I think I’ll need to put in some more research first.

All Those Celebrity Crushes

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It seemed so harmless. You know. The game where you name your celebrity crushes? How can there be any harm in it?

But I started thinking more about it today. Probably more than I should have. After all, one of my spiritual gifts is over-thinking things.

I think the problem is this. When we get involved in those crushes, we are buying into the world’s definition of beauty. And it is a very superficial, surface kind that only goes as deep as the glossy 8X10 paper it’s printed on.

Dr. Michael Easley, one of my favorite teachers, always says, “Don’t let the world teach you theology.” I say, “Don’t let the world define beauty for you.”

Beauty is more than body shapes and skin tones. For me, beauty isn’t what’s on the outside transforming the inward, but what’s on the inside coming out on the outside. In other words, a woman whose heart is at rest and who is comfortable in who she is as a woman will show a kind of beauty that make-up and cosmetics can’t touch. A man who is confident in how God made him and who knows who he is in Christ will have a kind of handsomeness that is more than chiseled abs and sculpted arms.

Beauty is who you are more than what you look like. Beauty is character– joy you can’t contain spilling out of every pore and coming out as kind of a glow. You know it when you see it. And like I’ve said before, you have to look with a different set of eyes to see it. You have to be able to look at others the way God looks at you.

Another thing. Celebrity crushes feed into distorted and unrealistic expectations and standards. Girls don’t want a nice guy. They want a nice guy who looks like Ryan Gosling. Guys want a sweet girl who looks like Kate Upton.

The problem is that no one looks like that. Not even those celebrities. There is always photoshopping and touching up that goes into the image. Not to say that physical attractiveness isn’t important, but hopefully what you find attractive in a person will be kindness and grace as much as looks.

So I’m currently deleting all my celebrity photos. Most of all, I’m going to start praying that God transforms my character into one that will attract the woman He has for me. I’m praying you won’t get so caught up in looking for the perfect man or woman that you miss that imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. I’m praying you will let God choose, for God always gives the very best to those who leave the choice with Him (thanks to Elisabeth Elliot for that one).

I think I’m looking for a face to call home.

 

Things I Love 24: From a Guy Who’s Running on Caffeine and Hope

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I had a fantastic conversation with a friend tonight at Starbucks. Even though we’ve never met in person before, we talked like we’d been friends for years. The meds are working. I am still blessed. Which brings us to #656.

656) Laptops that actually fit in your lap (does anyone remember the old portable computers that weighed 50 pounds and had a 2-inch screen?)

657) Conversations that last for hours over coffee drinks.

658) Love that will not let me go.

659) Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

660) Turkey sausage from Cracker Barrel.

661) When someone gets one of my obscure movie references.

662) IMDB for when my usually spot-on memory for names of actors fails me.

663) The little emoticons on Facebook messaging.

664) Free books on Kindle or iBooks.

665) Leaving ridiculous tips, i.e. 50% or higher, whenever I eat out.

666) Not being freaked out by the number 666.

667) Being 2/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

668) Bare feet on carpet.

669) People complimenting me on my I Am Second bracelet.

670) Finding that Friends Trivia Game at Music City Thrift for $1.

671) Those people in the Bible who God used who were possibly even crazier and more messed up than me.

672) Gregorian chant music.

673) My organic liquid hand soap that smells like Canadian pine with white sage.

674) Being manly enough to admit that I have organic liquid hand soap that smells like trees.

675) Knowing just enough Spanish to be dangerous (and to order at Taco Bell).

676) Being able to read most of John 1 in my Greek New Testament,

677) Movie soundtracks.

678) Getting packages in the mail.

679) Color correcting old pictures on Adobe Photoshop.

680) Birthday presents.

681) Watching other people open gifts.

682) Christmas presents.

683) Presents in general.

684) Being present in the moment.

685) Leigh Nash’s voice.

686) That guitar sound in the song Luka by Suzanne Vega.

687) That guys aren’t better than girls and girls aren’t better than guys. We’re just different.

688) Being uniquely and wonderfully made.

689) Owning all four seasons of Felicity.

690) A good night’s sleep after a really good day.