past

Going Back in Time

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“Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal. Does that answer your question?… Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club” (from the movie The Breakfast Club).

I may be the only one, but I very much doubt it. The older I get, the more I really want to go back in time. I don’t think I’d stay — I’d miss the new technology too much, especially the GPS that keeps me from getting lost. But I think I’d like to visit some of the place where I grew up and see some of the people that aren’t around anymore, even if only for a few moments.

I know there’s no Delorean that’s going to take me back to 1985. I know there’s no time machine that can ever take me back to my childhood. Sometimes, I wonder if my memories might be a little rose-colored, conveniently leaving out all the hard and stressful moments.

Still, I have memories. I have some really good memories. Plus, music always seems to act as a kind of time machine to take me back, especially if it’s a song from back when. It could be a certain smell, or a combination of smells that instantly takes me back. And of course, Christmas makes me more nostalgic than any other time of the year.

I think what I’m really longing for can only be satisfied in heaven. I do think heaven will be all those best moments in my life, multiplied by a million, and never-ending. It will be that feeling of the first day of vacation or the last day of school times infinity. Plus, I’m sure those people I miss most will be there.

So I’d still like to go back, but I’m not holding my breath on this one. I know that what lies ahead is far better than what lies behind me because with God, the best is still yet to come.

Are You Saved?

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I remember back in my Union days there was a popular evangelist who went around saying that if you couldn’t pinpoint the day and time that you trusted in Jesus, then you weren’t saved. He got a lot of people to come forward at the altar call, but I suspect many of them were repeat customers. Many of them were already saved but possibly insecure about their salvation or maybe less than discerning. That goes to show that numbers don’t always mean everything.

I mention that because I read something by the late Dr. Adrian Rogers about how to know you’re saved. It’s not about what you believed back then or what you prayed as a child, but what you believe now and who you’re trusting in now. I have a hunch that a lot of people in church pews are trusting in a prayer they prayed 40 years ago instead of a living Savior who is their Lord right now. Here’s what he said:

“I’ve heard it said that if you cannot name the time and the place you were saved, you’re not saved. Have you ever heard that? There’s just one thing wrong with that—it’s not in the Bible. The Bible never tells you to look back to past experiences for proof of your salvation. It does not say, ‘He who believed has eternal life.’ It says, ‘He who believes.’

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. If you’re not believing on Jesus today, you’re not saved. And if you are believing on Jesus today, you did believe on Jesus in the past. It’s impossible to presently believe on Him without having believed on Him in the past. Indeed, there was a time. Indeed, there was a place. But, if you’re not believing on Jesus now, whatever you call the past time and the place, there’s something wrong with it. The big question is: are you believing Jesus now? If you have the time and the place, wonderful. But if you don’t, that doesn’t mean you’re not saved. If you’re trusting Jesus right now, you are saved.”

I couldn’t remember my own salvation experience for a long time. I still can’t recall what year or what day. But I know that I’m saved because I know that Jesus never loses anyone who comes to Him in faith. My security isn’t about how big and strong my faith is but about how big and strong the God I believe in is.

What We Become

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“What we become is more important than where we’re from” (seen on a church sign).

People can get so caught up in their past and become a prisoner to it. So many lives are defined by regret and bitterness. So many can’t move forward because they’re still stuck in the same place where they received their wounds that won’t heal. So many have been the victim for so long that they don’t know how to be anything else.

But God is telling a different story.

As I’ve mentioned before, God can take the worst moment of your life that you swore you’d never tell anyone about and make it the opening line of your testimony (with much love and thanks to Uncle Mikey for that one). With God, your past with all its mistakes and carnage now serves a purpose instead of serving shame.

At one point, the Bible gives a long laundry list of sins and says that the people who based their identity on these sins won’t inherit the Kingdom of God. Then comes one of the best lines in the Bible: AND SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU.

In other words, that’s who you were but not who you are now. That’s no longer what defines you or gives your life meaning. For those in Christ, you are no longer an alcoholic or an adulterer or a homosexual or a thief or any of those things. You are now a son of God or a daughter of God.

Now who you are becoming is more important than where you’re from. God in Jesus is making you into His image, taking away your heart of stone and giving you a heart of flesh. He’s taking away your sinful desires and giving you a passion for pleasing Christ in all you do. He’s making you into the person He created you to be and you are finally becoming your truest self rather than a carbon copy of everyone else or a slave to your addictions and desires.

So remember that. What we become is more important than where we’re from. The story ain’t over, folks. It’s about to get really good.

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

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I’m dusting of a favorite quote of mine and bringing it back for an encore performance. This was reportedly found among the possessions of a young pastor in Zimbabwe after he was martyred for his faith. This is proof positive that those who live and die in Christ leave behind a legacy that will live on until eternity. May it be the prayer and the anthem of your faith going forward as you strive to be among the fellowship of those who are unashamed to bear the name of Christ:

“I’m a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I’m done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power. My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He’ll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!”

Whatever Is Necessary

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“The greatest blessing God can give us is to put us in a position where we must trust him. This is our only path to joy. He will do whatever is necessary to disrupt our self-sufficiency and illusion of control” (Jim Dennison).

I find that both terrifying and comforting at the same time.

I’m terrified of “whatever is necessary” and what it might mean to my current level of comfort and familiarity. I pretty much like things to stay the same and not get too crazy. I have my own plans for how my life should go, and I sometimes want God to rubber stamp those plans, and anything else is a bit scary to think about.

But I’m also comforted. When I remember the goodness of God, I can trust that He knows what He’s doing. When I think back on all the times in the past where He’s safely led me through trials, I can see with my eyes of faith God providing for me in the future.

Self-sufficiency and control aren’t just illusions. They’re the default setting of our sin natures. We are born fighting to assert our own will over and against anyone else’s. We learn early how to make a clenched fist and cry if we don’t get our own way.

But learning to let go is harder. Learning to step out from the comfort of solid ground onto thin air is frightening. But the rewards to stepping out in faith into an unknown country as Abraham did so long ago is more than worth the cost. Learning to relinquish my will and to die to self is the most anti-American dream thing I can do but also the most freeing in terms of the kingdom of God.

God, I want what you want, period. At any cost. If it makes me more like You, it’s worth it. Amen.

Opryland Memories

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This year will mark 28 years since Opryland USA theme park went away. I still think that tearing down Opryland to put up a mall was the dumbest thing Nashville has ever done. At least, it’s in the top ten.

I miss that place. I miss the rides. I miss the shows. I miss those little fruit drinks that came in the plastic containers shaped like fruit. I miss it all.

Most of all, I miss knowing that a place like that exists. I understand that Dollywood is still around and isn’t that far away, but it’s not the same. There is so much history and so many memories from 1972 to 1997.

Maybe what I miss in a way is how life was back in 1997. No social media. No constant 24 hour news channels. Less craziness in the world (or maybe it seemed less crazy because there weren’t CNN and Fox News channels constantly reminding us of how bad everything is).

These days, I’m always on the lookout for Opryland memorabilia. So far, I have a couple of t-shirts, a couple of records, and some key chains and glasses. Every time I go to Goodwill, I check for Opryland shirts.

There really is no point to this story, other than if you want to send me Opryland stuff, that would be great. Sometimes I get nostalgic and need to write it down. Also, it helps me remember more good times from back then.

Thanks, Opryland USA, for some of the best memories!

Reframing Your Past, Present & Future

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I’ve never thought about gratitude like that before. I get that it changes the way you see your present and can shift how your future plays out, but to change your perspective on your past? That’s a game changer.

The old saying about grace is that it means that your past now serves a purpose instead of serving shame. Gratitude helps you to see how every part of your past, good and bad, has led you to the present moment. God was in all of it with you, taking those dark and painful moments to weave them in with the brighter colors.

Also, sometimes when you look at a famous painting too closely, it looks like a big chaotic mess. You can’t tell anything about it. But once you step back, it becomes clearer. The same applies for life — once you can step back after a few days or weeks or months, you can see more clearly what God was up to in that moment.

You don’t have to give thanks FOR those awful moments and tragedies. But you can give thanks IN them. Paul didn’t say give thanks FOR all circumstances but IN all circumstances, knowing God works all things together for good and there is a redemptive purpose for pain and loss.

I still think about that quote about muddy water becoming clear as it settles and is still. So do we. Everything becomes clear when we cease striving to make it make sense and can be still and know that God is God, to know that God is still in control and in charge.

And it all begins with gratitude.

Longing for Simpler Times

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I’ve been in a nostalgic mood a lot lately, thinking about people who have passed and remembering places like my grandmother’s house on Dee Road in Memphis. Sometimes I have a longing to go back to those people and moments that is so strong that it feels overwhelming.

Maybe it’s because I’m really wanting to go back to when times were simpler. At least they were for me. I didn’t have so many cares or concerns. I knew my parents loved me and would take care of me. I knew my family loved me and watched out for me.

I see now that the times weren’t necessarily simpler, but my life was simpler. Because my parents did their job, I didn’t have to grow up carrying the proverbial weight of the world, dealing with issues beyond my years. I could be a kid, safe and secure from all alarms.

I do think the world seemed less chaotic than it does now. Maybe that was because of the absence of 24-hour news channels constantly telling me how bad the world is. Maybe it’s because I was blissfully unaware of so much of the evil around me. Maybe it’s just that the world is trending down as we get closer to Jesus’ return.

I do know that the Jesus I asked into my heart when I was little is the same one who is with me now. His promises are the same. His presence with me is the same, though I am probably more aware of it — and my need of it. I am just as loved and cared for and cherished and secure as I was back then because it was really Jesus all along who was my protector and provider.

So maybe those places and people I miss were glimpses of something greater that I will only ever fully realize in heaven. Those were like the appetizer before a really great feast. My best days aren’t behind me — they’re ahead and coming soon.

The Strain of the Moment

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“If you are a child of God, you will certainly encounter adversities, but Jesus says you should not be surprised when they come and there is nothing for you to fear. God does not give us overcoming life–He gives us life as we overcome. The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

That’s what I need– strength for the moment. Strength to live in the moment when I’m constantly tugged in two different directions. I always feel the pull to look back in nostalgia (which can be good at times but can also distract me from the present) and to look ahead (to what might or might not come to pass).

Right now, I have a very sleepy kitten on my chest. She’s purring contentedly, not worried about what will happen tomorrow or the day after that. I need to be more like her.

As I recall, when God made Himself known to Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, it wasn’t as “I WAS” or “I WILL BE” as much as it was “I AM.” God never speaks to us in our past or our future but always in our present, always where we are.

I can’t worry about what I forgot to do earlier today or what good or bad might happen tomorrow. I can breathe deeply and trust that God is with me to handle whatever comes or has come.

By the way, this sleepy kitten is seriously putting me to sleep. She has a very calming effect like that.

May you know God’s provision for your daily bread as each day comes and trust Him in the moment as each moment comes. Amen.

 

Back in Time

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Earlier tonight, I was watching Batchelor Mother, an old movie starring Ginger Rogers and David Niven from back in 1939. Sometimes when I see an old film like that, I wish I could step back into the time of the movie. It seems to me that that era was a lot less complicated and dangerous than the times I live in.

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe I’m the only one who wants to go back to a time before they were born. Most likely, what I want didn’t really exist even back then. Maybe what I want is to live inside the artificial world of a movie.

I’m still finding out that the best place to be is in the center of God’s will under the watchful care of His eye. Right now in this present moment is where God is speaking to me, not in my past failures or my future uncertainties.

I remember Midnight in Paris, where the main character obsesses over going back to Paris in the 1920s until he gets there (via some kind of time travel) and finds out that the people then weren’t any happier.

Maybe the best place for me to be is living in the present moment with gratitude for all that I have instead of envy over what I don’t. Maybe the key is to slow down and pay attention to where I am and Whose I am.

I’m not always the most observant person in the world when it comes to really and truly seeing my surroundings and what God is trying to tell me. I think that anxiety can keep you from really being in the moment and keeps you from seeing what’s in front of you.

God, bring me back to where you are, here in this moment. Remind me that there’s nothing in my past, present, or future that you haven’t already overcome through Jesus on the cross. Keep telling me that I’m secure in Your love and grace and that You will finish what you started in me.