An Evening Prayer on the Last Day of August

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“O God, I thank You for this day of life
for eyes to see the sky
for ears to hear the birds
for feet to walk amidst the trees
for hands to pick the flowers from the earth
for a sense of smell to breathe in the sweet
perfumes of nature
for a mind to think about and appreciate
the magic of everyday miracles
for a spirit to swell in joy at Your mighty presence
everywhere” (Marian Wright Edelman)

Thank you, God, that you woke me up this morning and gave me good health and a body capable of enjoying your creation in all of its splendors.

Thank you for another day or grace and forgiveness and peace and joy.

Thank you that You don’t treat me a I deserve or according to my manifold sins and weaknesses, for I could never then hope to even catch a glimpse of Your face.

But now I see it everywhere.

In the last blooms of the last flowers before the autumn chill sets in.

In the laughter of old friends gathered together.

In the gentle breeze that blows where and when it wills.

In Van Morrison singing about Tupelo Honey in the airwaves above my head.

In the pink remains of yet another artful sunset.

In my own contented and peaceful heart.

Thank you for being here with me and being everything I need in this moment.

“Dear Lord,
be good to me…
The sea is so wide
and my boat is so small.” (Irish Fisherman’s Prayer)

“Lord, I don’t ask for a faith
that would move yonder mountain.
I can take enough dynamite and move
it if it needs movin’. I pray, Lord,
for enough faith to move me” (Norman Allen).

A Good Weekend

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As I stepped into my car to head home from a Sunday School class party, I could hear the hypnotic drone of cicadas and felt 10-years old again and ready for the next big adventure. That’s what life really is. At least for those who have their eyes open to appreciate the mystery and wonder in each gift God unwraps daily called life.

I still fondly remember running through the streets of downtown Nashville with my friend Katie to catch the next act at Live on the Green, Michael Franti. It was a moment I never imagined happening, yet if you were to ask what my all-time favorite moment was, this one would be climbing the charts. And no Gatorade ever tasted better than the ones from the Exxon convenience store on the way home.

How can I forget an impromptu Starbucks session of great conversation and good coffee drinks? I can’t remember two hours flying by that fast. It was yet another in a long line of unexpected treasures and blessings God has showered on me lately.

I remember Friday and Saturday in downtown Franklin, seeing some of my favorite McCreary’s people and savoring yet another beautiful summer night visiting my usual haunts and trekking my familiar path up and down Main Street. I especially recall how quiet it was in St. Paul’s Episcopal Church as I sat silent and still and expectant, waiting on a Word from God.

I finally fell asleep at 4:30 this morning after another night of tossing and turning. I think I’ll sleep better tonight. At least I hope I do. But even that time awake gave me time to reflect on all the little gifts that eucharisteo had opened my eyes to see.

I remember something my Sunday School teacher Derek Webster said. He said, “God believes in you even more than you do.”

I have to write that down somewhere. Oh yeah, I guess I just did. But I need it in a place where I can find it and see it every morning, because I know some mornings I’ll wake up and not be as excited to be alive. Those old self-doubts will creep in. The enemy will whisper, “See? Nobody really cares about you. No one would notice if you weren’t around. You don’t make one bit of difference to anybody.”

That’s when this Truth of God comes in. God says differently. To me. To you. To anyone who heard and followed the voice of Jesus. God said you do matter because I made you. Jesus said you matter because I thought you were to die for. You have a gift and a purpose that no one else ever in the history of mankind has ever had. Only you can play the part God wrote for you in the Great Romance He’s written out in history.

You being you makes God smile. You being who God created you is what the world around you needs to see more than any Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. You coming alive to your gifts and talents will be the ripple in the ocean whose effects will last far beyond your own lifetime.

Yep. All that from four days in August.

Things I Love 44: Everybody Clap Your Hands

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“All new life labors out of the very bowels of darkness” (Ann Voskamp).

“The weight of God’s glory, not illusory or ephemeral, but daily and everywhere, punctures earth’s lid and heaven falls through the holes”  (Ann Voskamp).

“Having Christian convictions can’t ever negate having Christ’s compassion” (Ann Voskamp).

Apparently, I can’t count. I discovered I had misnumbered some of my list so that I had two sets of blogs with identical numbers. The upside of all this is that I have more things I love than I thought I did. And it confirmed yet again my wise decision not to be an accountant or a financial advisor or anything at all that involves math in any way. Thank God for calculators.

1,361) Spring cleaning in July.

1,362) My mother’s 19-year old cat Paddy who is eternally grumpy but still loveable in her own way.

1,363) Shiny pennies.

1,364) Finally starting to realize the full power of intercessory prayer.

1,365) Burt’s Bees lip balm.

1,366) Another trip to McKay’s Used Books to trade in some music and movies.

1,367) Waking up from a bizarre dream to realize with a sigh of relief that I am not naked or late for class or about to drive off a cliff.

1,368) That I’m on the 44th in this series of Things I Love.

1,369) The just-showered feeling.

1,370) The prayer room at Brentwood Baptist Church.

1,371) Not having to worry about wardrobe malfunctions (other than the rare unzipped fly).

1,372) My 30-something year old teddy bear that I still have.

1,373) Getting 18 mpg in my 18-year old Jeep.

1,374) Cleaning up my Facebook friends list yet again (but this time only deleting deactivated accounts).

1,375) Hope that doesn’t fade or fail.

1,376) Calling it a night and continuing with this blog at a later time.

1,377) Opening actual handwritten letters.

1,378) Hot apple cider on a brisk autumn day.

1.379) The feel of putting on store-bought socks for the first time.

1,380) Seeing an elderly couple walking together and still holding hands after all their years together.

1,381) Big, soft, comfy pillows.

1,382) Seeing my nephews and nice as babies sleeping peacefully and smiling at their dreams.

1,383) Unexpected money in the mail just when I needed it.

1,384) The new McKay’s location, which is twice as big as the old one.

1,385) Trading all those CDs I don’t listen to anymore for an iPad 2.

1,386) My stuffed Opus penguin (I actually have two– one big and one little).

1,387) Knowing that we’re getting nearer to fall and fall weather.

1,388) How God continues to speak to me through family, friends, circumstances, and soft breezes on mild summer days.

1,389) Those gentle reminders from my Abba of who I really am and Whose I am.

1,390) Facebook chats with friends.

1,391) Looking forward to yet another good night of community group tomorrow night.

1,392) Little pads on little cat paws.

1,393) Restoring old buildings and old homes and giving them new lives as locally owned restaurants and businesses.

1,394) Finally being able to pick up with Lost again after being stuck for months on the 3rd season cliffhanger ending.

1,395) My diecast miniature version of a double-decker bus like the ones in London.

1,396) Having family and friends who are true prayer warriors in every sense of the word.

1,397) Whenever I see older generations and younger generations sharing life experiences and knowledge, the way Church truly was meant to be.

1,398) My friend Ashley who works at McCreary’s and who always makes me feel at home there.

1,399) Friendly dogs who let me pet them.

1,400) My new genuine leather ESV Bible.

 

Things I Love 25: I Feel Like I Should Celebrate With Some Grape Juice or Something

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I read something that actually made me laugh out loud. It said something to the effect that if life doesn’t hand you water and sugar to go along with your lemons, your lemonade is really going to suck. Literally. As far as this whole series of things I love, hopefully I’m taking the proverbial lemons of life and adding the sweetness of grace to make yet again proverbial lemonade. Which tastes much better than Country Time Lemonade, by the way. So I’m starting up again at #691.

691) The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

692) Actually looking forward to my Brentwood Baptist Church Life Group (or Sunday School class if you’re over 30 and don’t quite get the hipper church lingo yet).

693) All the waiters and waitresses at McCreary’s Irish Pub who always make me feel so very welcome and at home.

694) My sister’s dog Ellie who is the sweetest and friendliest dog on the planet.

695) Not tossing and turning half the night.

696) The comfy leather chairs at Starbucks.

697) Rainbows after a thunderstorm.

698) Hearing chirping birds again after a long rainy spell.

699) Catching old episodes of Family Ties.

700) Feeling welcomed in a group.

701) Making others feel welcome in a group.

702) Being able to play the music on my iPhone through my car and charge my phone at the same time.

703) That I’m reading The Chronicles of Narnia again for about the 15th year in a row.

704) Being able to plug in my iPhone and hear GPS directions through those same car speakers.

705) Those cheezy episodes of 21 Jump Street.

706) Eric Metaxas’ amazing biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

707) The way my cat Lucy often poses like a supermodel.

708) Wondering about things like if animals could talk before the Fall.

709) Revolutionary War-era biographies.

710) Lawn darts.

711) My never-ending hunt for bowling shoes at thrift stores.

712) Badminton and my awesome badminton racquet.

713) Jesus.

714) The times when I trust in the Lord with all my heart instead of leaning on my own understanding.

715) Chocolate covered raisins.

716) Bond. James Bond.

717) The godly example my brother-in-law Steve is setting for his family.

718) When people talk about turning 30 like it’s the end of the world and I feel like I’m really starting to come alive at age 41.

719) Old people who don’t act their age.

720) That time a friend of mine walked all the way over from Chipotle to where I was sitting at Starbucks to talk to me.

721) Caramelized onions.

722) Knowing the difference between to, two, and too.

723) My fantastic Glenn Miller collection.

724) When I talk to myself and grin like an idiot because I’m so spectacularly funny.

725) Passing that BMW SUV tonight in my vintage ’95 Jeep Cherokee.

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).

A Great Night

I had a fantastic night.

It started off in downtown Franklin, where I went to see a friend play at Merridee’s. I had my dinner at McCreary’s Irish Pub, just because it’s my favorite place in the world to eat. I followed that with my usual trip to The Frothy Monkey for the last White Monkey Mocha they had. Talk about divine timing.

The guy I went to see, Travis Hunter-Brown, was fantastic. I suggest you go to iTunes and check out some of his music. 

Speaking of divine, I ran into a friend of mine. He introduced me to this guy who obviously had the gift of prayer and who prayed over me exactly what I needed. It was uncanny. No, it was a divine appointment. I was meant to be there exactly at that time to receive that blessing.

From there, I ventured out to Centennial Park, where I had a great time swing dancing, especially with one good friend of mine. We even tried a slow dance song where neither one of us knew what we were doing, but had fun anyway.

I don’t know what will happen next. I do know that I love what God is doing in me. I love seeing his fingerprints all over my life and seeing the old wounded places finally starting to heal.

C.S. Lewis got it right when he said a joy isn’t fully complete until it is remembered. I realize just what a fantastic night I had and how much more blessed I am than I could ever hope to deserve. Of course, I could say that about any other night in my life, whether it went how I wanted it to or not.

And to my friend (if she is reading this), hopefully we will get a better picture of us in better lighting one day. Maybe in downtown Franklin. 

 

Another Perfect Night in Downtown Franklin

There’s a different vibe to downtown Franklin on Thursdays than on a weeknight. It’s more laid back, less crowded, and not nearly as hectic. Best of all, there’s less of a wait in all my favorite places– McCreary’s Irish Pub, The Frothy Monkey, Starbucks, etc.

I ran into some friends tonight– one newer friend who’s in my community group and one friend formerly of the Frankin Theatre who I haven’t seen in quite a while. I even ran into a former work colleague who I hadn’t seen in over a year. It wasn’t like the last time, where everywhere I went I knew at least one person, but it was close.

I made a point to sit on the porch at Frothy Monkey and people-watch. If I were to concoct a perfect spring night, I couldn’t do any better than tonight. Temperature in the low 70’s, breeze blowing, and the sweet scents of spring in the air.

I saw another friend from college who I’ve lost contact with over the years, but she didn’t recognize me. Perhaps, that’s a friendship that was meant for a time, but has served its purpose. Who knows? Only God.

I did a lot of walking and observing. I saw a lot of couples holding hands, a lot of teenagers, a lot of mature folks, and plenty of families. It was a good mix, a good cross-section of life. And for once I didn’t feel like an outsider looking in, but like one of them.

I fit in here. I feel accepted here. People know my face and my name.

Everyone deserves a place to belong, people to belong to, and the feeling of being wanted and loved. In that regard, I am beyond blessed by feeling so loved and accepted and treasured by family and friends.

Most of all, I am increasingly aware daily that I am loved and treasured and accepted by my Abba Father. I pray you know that truth more and more every single day and may it captivate your hearts and minds as it has captivated mine.

 

 

The Healing Process

I went back to Historic Downtown Franklin today for the first time since being hit by the car. I walked over to the spot where it happened, or at least where I’m fairly positive it happened, since the event has grown fuzzy in my mind.

I’m still nervous about crossing the street, even at a crosswalk where I have the walk sign. I hope that never fully goes away, so I will always be extra cautious and never get careless again in the same way that caused me to step out in front of a car.

I ate at my favorite place, McCreary’s Irish Pub, and saw a movie at my favorite venue, the Franklin Theatre. I’m glad that my return trip brought way more memories of good times rather than that one bad night.

I wish my pinky finger would heal faster. It’s still swollen and I still can’t bend it at the lower joint. But healing takes time.

I think we do healing an injustice when we rush it. Or at least I do. I feel like I should be over it already and moved on, so I don’t really give myself time to get well. I get frustrated when the same old fears rear their ugly heads when I thought I was over all that, then I realize that I’m better, but not whole yet.

It’s okay to still be broken as long as you know you’re moving toward wholeness. It’s okay to admit that you got overwhelmed by fears and anxieties because you remember when those dominated your life from waking up to lying down at night.

If a broken bone doesn’t heal right, it sometimes has to be re-broken and set again so it can heal properly. I pray for all of us that we allow time for God’s healing to soak in and really get to all the deep dark broken places in us that need his light. May we remember that we are all works in progress and will be until Jesus comes back.

 

 

Fish & Chips & The Promises of God

I was driving home from McCreary’s Irish Pub (one of my favorite places to eat in the world in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so and weren’t aware). It was cool, almost fall-ish weather, and I had my windows rolled down listening to some old school dc talk ’cause I rock it like that.

I was thinking of the amazing fish and chips I just ate and reminiscing on a good sermon I just heard about the promises of God. Like the one Jesus spoke at the end of Matthew about how He would be with us always, to the very end.

It won’t always feel that way. God won’t always feel present. In fact, God will feel a million miles away sometimes. But I’ve learned that while feelings lie, God doesn’t. And He promised He wouldn’t leave or forsake you. Or me.

I have a lot of uncertainties in my life, like if I will ever get married or not (or just have a dating relationship), but I know at least one thing for certain. I can’t go where God’s not there. I can’t go where God’s not already waiting on me.

I plan on breaking out my running shoes tomorrow and doing a bit of jogging. I estimate it will take me 7 straight hours of jogging to run off the meal I had tonight, but it was so worth it.

I may not feel God near, because a lot of things can numb my ability to sense Him. Like unconfessed sins or addictions or uncaptured thoughts. But God is always near because He says He would be.

Faith has to be bigger than feelings or intuitions or sometimes even common sense. Faith is believing when common sense sometimes tell you not to. Faith is believing that God said it and that settles it. He doesn’t need my agreement for it to be so.

By the way, if you’re ever in historic downtown Franklin for any reason, check out McCreary’s Irish Pub. You won’t be disappointed.