marriage

For When You Can’t Sleep

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Right about now, I wish I were a cat. I look at my cat, who hops on the bed and curls up on the pillow next to mine and is asleep the moment she lays her little head down. Meanwhile, I am still tossing and turning, wide awake.

I’ve learned a few lessons from a lifetime of difficulty getting to sleep.

I know that at night every worry and fear gets magnified beyond any reasonable doubt. The normal worries of finding the right person turn into “I’ll never get married and will die alone.” The normal anxieties of career transition turn into “I won’t ever get a job because there’s nothing I’m good at.”

The trick is to recognize these lies for what they are and to realize that you don’t think as clearly when you’re tired. That’s why it’s always a good idea to put in a good night’s sleep before you make a major decision that will drastically affect your life.

I don’t have any answers to how to overcome the inability to sleep. He says as he is typing this at 12:40 am.

I know in the past, I’ve used the time to pray over what’s troubling me that won’t let me sleep. Sometimes, I get up and try to find some mindless TV to help relax me. I’ve even gone old school and tried warm milk (though it doesn’t work too well when you overheat the milk and burn your mouth).

I think in a way it’s a good thing I can’t sleep sometimes. It helps me realize that sleep is not a given or an entitlement. It is a gift from God, just like every other good thing in life. So maybe instead of counting sheep, count your blessings instead (as the old song says). Instead of looking at what you’re missing out on, look at all you have.

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

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I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?

 

The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

It’s in the Details

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“Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way” (Colossians 3:15-17).

I’ve had a hard time coming up with something to write tonight. That happens to me periodically. I search my brain for a memory or a word or a phrase I heard earlier to trigger an idea that becomes a blog, but I get nothing. I can hear the wheels in my head a-turnin’, but apparently the hampster has gone off to sleep somewhere.

I do know that it’s useless to spend your whole life waiting for the next big event. If you’re single, that means waiting until you find someone to date. If you’re dating, that means waiting until you are engaged and then married. If you’re married, it means waiting until the first child is on the way. And so on.

If you’re not careful, you get so caught up in looking ahead in anticipation that you miss what is in front of you. A smiling face. A kind word. A small blessing.

Those little things help you along the road to becoming the person who is ready for the next big event. How you treat the people around you now will determine if you’re ready for your next phase.

So be compassionate now. Love unconditionally now. Be content now. Trust God now.

He will take care of getting you to the next step.

 

 

A Letter to My Niece Lizzie

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You’re too young to read this right now, but one day maybe you will.

Today is your 1st birthday. It only seems like a few days ago that I was meeting you for the first time in the hospital room with your mother and father wearing smiles that stretched from ear to ear. I got to hold you for a little while and I think you grabbed my heart in your tiny hands and it’s been there ever since.

Today I and the rest of your family watched you eat your first birthday cake, getting more frosting all over your face and in your hair and on the floor than in your mouth. You had the biggest grin on your face. You were loving every minute of it.

You’ve already grown up so very fast, learning to crawl and stand up and say a few words. It won’t be long before you’ll be walking, then running, then asking for the keys to the car.

I hope you know already how much your mother and father and brothers love you. How much your grandparents love you. And how much your crazy goofy uncle loves you, too.

You’ll be the most photographed child in history. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you will have lots more photos taken of you. You’ll have videos taken of your first steps, your first day of school, your first soccer game, and so on. There will be birthday parties and slumber parties and field trips and vacations and so many things to look forward to.

If anything, I hope you come to know as soon as possible how much not only your family loves you, but how much God loves you. I know your parents are already showing you by word and by example.

I hope you know that you are a princess, because your Father is a King. I hope you will listen to what he says about you and don’t listen to anybody else who tries to tell you otherwise.

I hope you grow up into a beautiful young woman and find a godly young man who loves you more than his own life. I hope you get married and have children of your own that you can laugh with and tell stories to. I hope that you can pass the legacy of faith down to them just as it was passed to you.

I can’t wait to see you become all that God created you to be.

A Different Take on Weddings

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I went to the wedding today. It was lovely, as just about all weddings are. As usual, many people put a lot of time and thought and effort into the planning and preparation.

Many people would say that the wedding day is all about the bride. That it’s her day to shine and it’s all about her. I would disagree. It’s not the bride’s mother’s day either, even though she’s dreamed of this day since her girl was little and serving imaginary tea to her dressed-up dolls.

In my humble opinion, the wedding day is all about Jesus. Or it should be. Anyone who really understands the depths of marriage and all its symbolism knows that it’s more than just the union of two people. The Bible in Ephesians reminds us that marriage is a picture of just how much Christ loves His Bride, the Church, and gave everything for her.

A biblical marriage is a lived-out testimony to that great love of Jesus for the Church. It’s about two people coming together to not only serve each other, but to serve others in a way that’s better than they each could individually.

I haven’t been married, but I know that marriage is hard. Probably harder in this anti-marriage culture than ever before. Only two people under the Lordship of Christ and each in love with Jesus can not only sustain a marriage and thrive in it. Only the indwelling Spirit of Christ can overcome the innate selfishness of two people that really shows its ugly head after the marriage begins.

So I’m happy for both the bride and groom. Nothing gives me more joy to see the bride in all her radiance walking down the aisle, looking more beautiful than ever. Nothing makes me smile than seeing the groom’s face when he sees his bride for the first time in her wedding gown.

But nothing beats the joy that knowing when a wedding truly celebrates Jesus and exalts Him to His rightful place in the marriage. Nothing blesses my heart more than when a wedding ceremony is truly a worship celebration.

One day when I get married, I hope it will truly be celebration of the goodness and greatness of God. I hope that it’s not my bride’s day or her mother’s day, but a day that belongs most of all to Jesus.

 

Fish & Chips & The Promises of God

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I was driving home from McCreary’s Irish Pub (one of my favorite places to eat in the world in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so and weren’t aware). It was cool, almost fall-ish weather, and I had my windows rolled down listening to some old school dc talk ’cause I rock it like that.

I was thinking of the amazing fish and chips I just ate and reminiscing on a good sermon I just heard about the promises of God. Like the one Jesus spoke at the end of Matthew about how He would be with us always, to the very end.

It won’t always feel that way. God won’t always feel present. In fact, God will feel a million miles away sometimes. But I’ve learned that while feelings lie, God doesn’t. And He promised He wouldn’t leave or forsake you. Or me.

I have a lot of uncertainties in my life, like if I will ever get married or not (or just have a dating relationship), but I know at least one thing for certain. I can’t go where God’s not there. I can’t go where God’s not already waiting on me.

I plan on breaking out my running shoes tomorrow and doing a bit of jogging. I estimate it will take me 7 straight hours of jogging to run off the meal I had tonight, but it was so worth it.

I may not feel God near, because a lot of things can numb my ability to sense Him. Like unconfessed sins or addictions or uncaptured thoughts. But God is always near because He says He would be.

Faith has to be bigger than feelings or intuitions or sometimes even common sense. Faith is believing when common sense sometimes tell you not to. Faith is believing that God said it and that settles it. He doesn’t need my agreement for it to be so.

By the way, if you’re ever in historic downtown Franklin for any reason, check out McCreary’s Irish Pub. You won’t be disappointed.

 

Two Hearts Beat as One

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I was getting ready to mow the back yard when God brought an image to my mind. I thought of an article I read online a few months back about an elderly couple who died holding hands. This doesn’t happen often, but I literally dropped everything and got to my laptop to get this all down while it’s still fresh in my head.

The couple was Gordon and Norma Yeager, married for 72 years when they were both involved in a car accident. When they got to the ER, they were both more concerned about the other than themselves. Finally, they got moved to a room with side-by-side hospital beds where they could hold hands.

He died first. But that’s where it gets interesting. I’ll quote a bit of the article.

“Someone in there said, ‘Why, then, when we look at the monitor is the heart still beating?'” Sheets recalled. “The nurse said Dad was picking up Mom’s heartbeat through Mom’s hand.”

“And we thought, ‘Oh my gosh, Mom’s heart is beating through him,'” Dennis Yeager said.

That to me is what a Godly marriage looks like. That is also a beautiful picture of fellowship and community in the body of Christ. That’s a perfect picture of divine love shown in it’s fullest and most complete expression.

We should be so connected and intertwined as believers that I cry when you hurt and I suffer when you are in pain. That your sorrows are my sorrows and your joys my joys. I think the Bible calls that carrying each other’s burdens.

Most of all, I want to be that way with Jesus. I want to be so close to Him that people can feel His heart beating through mine. I want to be so intimate with Him that His heartbeat literally becomes mine and I can see people through His eyes and reach out to them with His hands and love them with His heart.

I want my heart to be broken over what breaks the heart of God. No just when I’m serving in missions or when I’m in a church service, but all the time, everywhere I go for everyone I meet.

May that be your heartbeat also. May that be the one desire of your heart.

By the way, if you want to read more about the Yeagers, you can go here. http://abcnews.go.com/US/iowa-couple-married-72-years-dies-holding-hands/story?id=14771029

From one beggar who has found the Bread of Life and is trying to tell everyone else how to find it, too.

Sometimes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I really, really hate to admit this after all my talk of how God has healed me in the past. It feels like I’m pulling a fast one on you after I’ve announced to everyone how God has been delivering me from my fears. But here it is.

Sometimes at night when I’m tired, I get overwhelmed for a moment by fears.

I fear that this time I really have said or done the absolute stupid and wrong thing and a particular friend is gone for good. He or she has un-friended me and taped a picture of me to a dartboard for target practice.

I fear that I will always be single because no girl will ever find me attractive or desirable and I will always be left with this unfulfilled longing inside of me.

I fear that I’m really not good at anything and really won’t ever find a career that really makes me come alive to who God created me to be.

I think the difference this time is that I can name these thoughts as lies. It may not completely take away the panic and the pain, but it helps when I see these thoughts for what they are and their true origin from the father of lies.

I know now that most of the time a good night’s sleep will help these fears go away. Sometimes, it’s a glass of warm milk. Sometimes, it’s just practicing deep breathing. Sometimes, it’s saying, “Abba Father” over and over. Sometimes, it’s resting in the eternal Arms of my Abba Father and listening as He sings over me to calm my anxiety.

It’s okay for me to have setbacks and regressions, because they keep me grateful and thankful for the times when I am living out of faith and not fear. And those times are more and more prevalent.

There will always be something to fear. There will always be those moments when you give in to that fear. The question is: Can you name that fear for what it is and claim the promises of Jesus over it? Sometimes, you have to claim them out loud, but even when you don’t have a voice to speak them out, they are still powerful and true and for you.

Perfect love casts out all fear. In my case, perfect Love is casting out all fears, one at a time. I hope you find this to be true for you. Because the freedom is so much more than worth it.

I Know: Living in Captivity

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Lots of people quote the above as their favorite verse. Lots of people go even further and call it their life verse, me being one of them. It’s nice to know that God’s got your future in His hands.

But when you look at the context, this is written to people in captivity who are longing for home. The funny part is that they are longing for a home they’ve never seen, but only heard stories about.

Many of us feel like captives. Maybe you feel trapped in a job you don’t like, but you’re afraid to step out in a bad economy and look for new work, so you stay and stress and count the minutes to the end of every day.

Maybe you feel like your family doesn’t know or appreciate you. Maybe you feel like your spouse is always tearing you down and never offering anything positive. Maybe you’ve being going to a church for a while and you still feel like a stranger and an outsider.

Maybe you feel like your friends have all moved on and left you behind in your pain. Maybe you had your romantic hopes dashed yet again and feel even less desirable than ever.

Read the first part of the verse. God knows. He’s aware of your distress. He sees the tears you cry in the dark when you’re alone and feels the pain that hides behind the facade of a smile.

He has a plan for you. He has a dream for you that is bigger than you but that you get to be a part of. He has a future for you that is as wide-open and free as His amazing grace.

I love how one author said that when you are in a dark place, listen very carefully because God has a special and very precious word for you that you won’t be able to receive any other way.

Jesus knows what it feels like to be alone and forsaken. That’s why He said He would never to either to you. Ever.

Keep trusting and keep believing, even when you don’t feel like it. Keep clinging to Jesus. If all you can pray is “Help me,” keep praying that over and over until it becomes your mantra.

I have never known a storm that didn’t leave a rainbow or a night that didn’t turn into day. Your time is coming and God’s got good things coming your way. Hold on.