life

An Evening Prayer

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“Lord, we come to You not because you are our last hope, but because You are our first love.

We’re not waiting to come to You only when we think there’s nothing else we can do. We’re coming to You *before we do anything at all* because waiting on You is *wisest* of all. We trust You to work all this out in Your good time — because that will be the best time, and You are only good and You hold all time. *Kneeling the most lets us stand the bravest.* Tonight we kneel and lay our painful problems in Your hands and thank You for the perfect peace You put in our hearts.

In Jesus’ name, Amen. #EveningPrayer#RestinginHisWord” (Ann Voskamp).

Lord, I confess that I only come to You when I need something. Often, You are my last resort. I acknowledge that when everything is going well, I simply don’t see my need for You. It’s only when life gets difficult and stressful that I finally manage to look up to You.

Thank You for being patient with me. You have shown me more mercy than I deserve. If You treated me the way I treat You most of the time, I probably wouldn’t be here. I’d definitely be a lot worse off than I am.

But Your word says that You are faithful even when I’m faithless. You continue to work in me even when I don’t work at all. You honor Your promise to complete what You started in me even when I make promises to You that I don’t keep.

I know that I can look back and see growth. I can see change. I can see that in the past, my lackadaisical faith wouldn’t have bothered me nearly as much as it does now. I can see that I am more committed to You than I was last year or in the last decade.

Lord, make me more like You. Period.

The Whole Gospel

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“There is no doctrine which I would more willingly remove from Christianity than this, if it lay in my power. But it has the full support of Scripture and, specially, of Our Lord’s own words; it has always been held by Christendom; and it has the support of reason. If a game is played, it must be possible to lose it. If the happiness of a creature lies in self-surrender, no one can make that surrender but himself (though many can help him to make it) and he may refuse. I would pay any price to be able to say truthfully “All will be saved.” But my reason retorts, ‘Without their will, or with it?’ If I say ‘Without their will’ I at once perceive a contradiction; how can the supreme voluntary act of self-surrender be involuntary? If I say ‘With their will,’ my reason replies ‘How if they will not give in?’. . .

The doors of Hell are locked on the inside. I do not mean that the ghosts may not wish to come out of Hell, in the vague fashion wherein an envious man ‘wishes’ to be happy: but they certainly do not will even the first preliminary stages of that self-abandonment through which alone the soul can reach any good. They enjoy forever the horrible freedom they have demanded, and are therefore self-enslaved: just as the blessed, forever submitting to obedience, become through all eternity more and more free” (C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain).

If we want to be true to the true gospel, we have to be true to the Word of God. If we are true to the Word of God, then we must believe that there is a hell as much as there is a heaven. There is no universal salvation. Some will be saved, some will not.

Jesus mentions that the road to life is narrow, and few find it. He then proceeds to say that the road to destruction is broad, and many are on it. As much as I want to believe that everyone is on their way to heaven, I can’t deny these words of Jesus.

That’s why the offer of the gospel still stands. To whomever will repent of their sins and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, God will grant them eternal life. God will save anyone who calls on Him in faith. God is not willing that you should perish but that you should be saved.

You can pray a prayer like this: “Jesus, I know I’m a sinner. I know I’m separated from you. I deeply regret and repent of my sin. I turn to You in faith and receive you now as my Lord and Savior. I commit myself to following You for the rest of my days and to obeying whatever You ask of me from now until eternity. Thank You for saving me. Amen”

A Mic Drop Moment

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“Whenever the insistence is on the point that God answers prayer, we are off the track. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

I almost want to make this a mic drop moment and end this post here. There’s such a misconception about prayer being a way to inform God of what He didn’t already know or to ask Him for things He wasn’t aware that I needed.

Prayer isn’t about getting God to see things from my point of view but getting me to see things from God’s point of view. It’s not so much about answers as it is about awareness of God’s presence. When I pray, I’m acknowledging in that moment my deep need and God’s deeper provision.

What would I want from God apart from Himself anyway? As the old song says, “I’d rather have Jesus than riches untold.”

It’s like when Job asks all these questions to God. When God responds, He doesn’t answer a single one of those questions. Instead, God asks Job some of His own questions. At the end, what Job realized was that he needed not answers but God’s presence. He needed to know God hadn’t left him or forgotten about him.

My own prayers can easily become rote and full of requests. They can almost sound like the letters I used to write to Santa Claus before Christmas with my list of everything I wanted under the tree that year. They can be very me-focused when the idea of prayer is to get me very God-focused. It’s to help me see God’s purposes and plans for His entire creation and not just my own little world.

Sure, God answers prayer, but that’s not the main point of prayer. My character being transformed into the character of God and my will being transformed into His is.

The Divine Purpose

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“Our lives mean much more than we can tell; they fulfill some purpose of God about which we know nothing; our part is to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean to our own understanding. Earthly wisdom can never come near the threshold of the Divine; if we stop short of the Divine we stop short of God’s purpose for our lives” (Oswald Chambers, Bringing Sons Unto Glory).

I’m guilty of trying to decipher God’s overall plan for me and whether or not I feel like I’m living up to it. What God calls me isn’t to figure it all out but to be faithful in the minutiae and the mundane from moment to moment. It’s to be in a constant attitude of prayerful mindfulness and paying attention to God’s voice wherever I am and whatever I’m doing.

Ultimately, it’s presenting myself as a living sacrifice with everything I do as a spiritual offering of worship to God my King. That looks a lot like doing the small stuff and the daily routine like it matters to God, because it does.

It means that the janitor is as much of a sacred office as the minister. It means that sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets can be just as much an act of worship as singing hymns. For me, it means doing my best in everything as if I were doing it directly for God.

Being faithful looks like showing up and staying prayed up and never giving up, no matter what. It means reminding yourself of God’s promises and thanking God for them in advance while you’re still waiting on their fulfillment. It means preaching the gospel to yourself every day, several times a day, until you remember that it starts and ends with God, not you.

Sometimes, being faithful isn’t about the next 24 hours. It could be the next two hours. It could be the next 15 minutes. It could be the next breath. But it’s all about remembering the God who is forever faithful.

My Eye on the Goal

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I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back” (Philippians 3:12-14, The Message).

That’s the key, isn’t it. Keeping my eye on the goal?

But what does that look like? Anymore, there’s no such thing as working 40 years for one company and retiring with a gold watch and a pension. The average person will work for several different places across many types of jobs over his or her lifetime.

But what is the goal then? If you read the Apostle Paul in other places, he talks about keeping our eyes on Christ. To keep your eyes on Christ is to keep your eyes on the goal, because Christ is the goal. Not retirement. Not comfortable living. Not a pension. Jesus is the goal.

Not only that but Christ is the means to that goal. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount that the poor in spirit are blessed because the Kingdom of God is theirs. That means those of us who know we have nothing to offer God are blessed because we have nowhere to turn and nowhere to lean but on Jesus and the promises of God.

Still, it’s quite easy to get distracted by all the shiny baubles of the world. It’s easy in the midst of a storm to focus on the wind and the waves and take our eyes off of the Master of those winds and waves. We are so easily distracted and forgetful, which is why we need the constant reminder of keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

How do we keep our eyes on Jesus? By preaching the gospel to ourselves at least once a day every day. We need to remember that we’re sinners in need of a Savior. We need to remember that salvation comes through faith by means of repentance and trust in the finished work of Jesus on the cross. We need to remember that we’re saved by faith alone, not by any works or good deeds of ours. We need to remember that Jesus promised that those who trust God with their lives would receive eternal abundant life not just in the hereafter but in the here and now.

May you and I never stop encouraging each other, especially in these last days, to keep our eyes on Jesus as the goal of everything we do and everything we are.

The Houses that Built Me

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A couple of years ago, my family got the opportunity to revisit some of the old houses where I lived, as well as my grandparents’ houses. It was a fun trip down memory lane, but I realized one thing.

I didn’t get the wave of nostalgia that I was expecting. Some of the houses had changed quite a bit, but some looked the same. The difference was that the people I loved weren’t there anymore. Some have moved away, some have gone to heaven.

It wasn’t the brick and mortar that I truly loved. It was the people inside. It was the memories we made within the walls of each of the houses. Today, if I were given the chance to wander through these houses, I doubt I’d recognize very much. I’m sure a lot has changed in the 30+ years since I was last there.

Sometimes, I think I want to step into the past, if only for a moment. I just want to be a fly on the wall and revisit some old memories. I just want to see the faces and hear their stories. The older I get, the more trouble I have remembering what they looked like or what their voices sounded like.

But I’m thankful. I’m grateful for everything I learned, every experience I had in these places, both good and bad. I think who I am now was shaped by the people who lived there. I carry a little bit of each and every one of them with me.

One of the rewards of heaven will be seeing all the old faces again. Maybe they’ll all be young again. They will have all their memories back. They won’t be fragile or in pain. It will be just like old times — even better, since Jesus will be there.

I hope that the people living in those homes are making new memories. Maybe one day a long time from now, someone will drive up and instantly be able to conjure up a million scenes from the past that they can think about and smile.

Happy Blog-versary to Me!

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I just realized that I started my blog post 15 years ago today. I have posted something every single day since then, bringing my total blog posts to 5,455. That’s a lot.

I don’t mean to humble brag. Well, maybe I do a little. I’m a little proud of that discipline in my life. I’m grateful for the platform and for the longevity of what I’ve been doing through WordPress.

I’m super thankful for every single person who has read these writings of mine over the years. Sometimes, I’m surprised by just who is reading them. People I never would have expected to read my blogs have told me how much what I’ve written means to them.

Really, it’s not about the numbers. I confess I can get too caught up in the daily numbers at times, but then I remember that it was never about that. Even if it were just me writing for myself (and my mom, of course), it would still be worth it. If I had just 2 people reading my blog posts every day, I’d still do it.

A lot has changed since 2010. I’m not who I was 15 years ago. The way I process and handle my life is different. The only constant since then has been God. He’s been the only thing that hasn’t changed one bit since July 25, 2010.

I’d like to say that my goal is for another 15 years and to hit 10,000 blog posts. Honestly, I just want to be faithful to what God is teaching me. If one single person follows Jesus and is in heaven because of the words God gave me, then I can call this a success. Just one.

Thanks again to every one reading these words. You mean the world to me. I pray that God blesses you as much as you have blessed me.

You Have a Choice

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I learned a long time ago that people tend to see the world according to their perspective. Negative people only see what’s wrong with the world, while sometimes positive people only see the good. There is such a thing as self-fulfilling prophecy where if you believe in a certain outcome, good or bad, you have a tendency to end up there.

A lot of success in life depends on your attitude. If you’re expecting to fail, you probably will. If you’re expectations are to succeed, the chances are much greater that you will. But I decided a long time ago to take a different road.

I choose to feel blessed because I am. Every day that I wake up is a gift from God.

I choose to feel grateful because everything I am and everything I have is a gift from God. I don’t deserve any of it, but God saw fit to bestow so much on me.

I choose to be excited because I know as a believer that the best is yet to come and that my best life is not now but coming soon.

I choose to be thankful for so many small ways that God shows up in my daily existence.

I choose to be happy. Better yet, I choose joy.

My expectations are all about what God wants for me. To succeed without God is just as bad as failing because it’s like climbing the ladder to the top only to realize it was against the wrong wall. Where you end up is not where you thought you would be.

My choice is to choose joy. Not happiness. There will be plenty of times when being happy is not an option, or at least not an appropriate one, but joy always is. Joy is simply contentment in Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less.

Broken Things

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“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever” (Vance Havner).

I think if you’re feeling broken beyond compare, you might just be at the point where God is about to do something incredible in you and through you. I don’t mean that you should beat yourself up and think you’re worthless. I think it’s about recognizing that each one of us has been profoundly affected by the original fall and are broken to one degree or another.

The beautiful part of the Gospel is that it’s for broken people. Not only that, God uses broken people to reach other broken people. What the world wants to throw away, God repurposes for His glory. What the world sees as worthless, God sees as priceless.

I love the verse in the Bible that talks about how God uses nobodies to shame those who think that they’re somebodies. 1 Corinthians 1:27 in the New Living Translation says “ Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”

That’s me. At times, I have been foolish and powerless. We all have. Face it, we’re nothing apart from the sustaining grace of God. Apart from Jesus, we can do nothing (at least nothing of eternal significance and value). Even our next heartbeat is a gift from God.

I need to remember that every time I start to think that I am anything on my own apart from God and what He has done in me. Anytime I start thinking that I’m better than anyone else, I need to remember that it took as much of Jesus’ blood to save me as it did anyone else. Who knows what I could have been apart from the saving grace of God?

“You can have my heart, though it isn’t new
It’s been used and broken, and only comes in blue
It’s been down a long road, and it got dirty along the way
If I give it to you, will you make it clean and wash the shame away?

You can have my heart, if you don’t mind broken things
You can have my life; you don’t mind these tears
Well, I heard that you make old things new, so I give these pieces all to you
If you want it, you can have my heart

So beyond repair, nothing I could do
I tried to fix it myself, but it was only worse when I got through
Then you walk right into my darkness and you speak words so sweet
And you hold me like a child, ’til my frozen tears fall at your feet

You can have my heart, if you don’t mind broken things
You can have my life if you don’t mind these tears
Well, I heard that you make old things new
So I give these pieces up to you
If you want it, you can have my heart” (Julie Miller).

Awed by God’s Glory

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“The ache of life heals when we are awed by God. 

Wherever the ache of life meets more of the awe of God, we are more healed.
More than any other emotion, what heals us is the awe of God. 

And what is awe really but the glory of God? 
That’s what the research undeniably indicates: God’s glory undeniably HEALS us. 
Our story finds healing where we’re awed by God’s glory. 

If you want to heal more of the losses in your life, make it your way of life to get outside every day to hear what God means to tell you: ‘The heavens are telling the glory of God’ [Psalm 19:1].

That means? That means God sings close over us with spread of sky, God stuns and awes with painted sunrises, God unravels stress with His choreographic dance of stars, God enfolds us everywhere in surround sound: ‘Glory, glory, glory, I am glory and I fill everything with glory so why fill with worry?’

When the heart is full of trouble, step outside to see that the whole earth isn’t only full of trouble, but ultimately is full of His glory.

Step outside and watch the Maker of clouds overhead, lift the clouds within. 

He who breaks the clouds can heal our heartbreak, and the Maker of a million stars can heal every kind of broken heart. 

The river winds on and unknots a tangle of worries, and the grasses surrender and bend in the wind so they don’t break, and ‘God is a sun that never sets… As the air surrounds you, even so does the mercy of your Lord,’ writes Charles Spurgeon, and there is time to look out, to look up, to breathe glory deep into the lungs, and to feel it happen: more healing written into our wounds and our losses. 

The way to navigate loss is to lose all that distracts from the glory of God.

Glory heals and beauty binds up and awe awakens us to God here, right here. 

#TheBrokenWay#TheWayOfAbundance#1000Gifts” (Ann Voskamp).

I think I’m just gonna leave this right here. I think it says it all.