inspirational

Things I Love 46: A Terrible Mystery

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“What a terrible mystery
How I searched for the key
To unlock your guarded heart
And set your love free
What a beautiful dream
I tried more than anything
To unlock your heart
And set your love free
A terrible mystery” (The Choir)

“How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are)

“Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don’t numb themselves to really living” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I keep returning to this well of thanksgiving because it is there that I find life. I don’t mean blood pumping through my veins, breathing in and out kind of life. I mean the kind of life that consists of more than just existing, but being fully enveloped in and aware of God in each moment. The life that sees the rainbow through the rain clouds, the sun behind the dark night, and the joy behind the thousand daily heartbreaks and little dream-deaths we face each day. Joy is being truly awake and alive to the good in everything, even the worst of circumstances, knowing that the Father will work out all these things for the best possible good.

1,431) Muggy days that make the coming crisp days of autumn all the more welcome.

1,432) Reepicheep, the bravest of all the talking mice in Narnia.

1,433) Seeing my job as a priestly function of offering my work as a thanksgiving offering to God.

1,434) Having a job to go to, even if it was at 6:30 this morning.

1,435)  That I still love driving my ’95 Jeep Cherokee even after 10 years.

1,436) Taking notes at Kairos tonight on my iPad2.

1,437) Having the best family (which includes blood relatives, and friends both on Facebook and in the real world).

1,438) Adam Wheatley and Courtney Cole leading the amazing worship tonight at Kairos.

1,439) My friend Paige who has faithfully led the greeter team and been one of my most supportive friends when I really needed it.

1,440) Signing up again to volunteer for Belmont move-in day for incoming freshmen.

1,441) Finally converted after much kicking and screaming (mostly in the metaphorical sense) to being an Apple guy. All I need now is a MacBook Pro.

1,442) Seeing one of my Romanian friends at Kairos tonight.

1,443) Resuming my lunch walks (even if this one was interrupted on account of rain).

1,444) Wifi when it is working right.

1,445) The movie Notting Hill, even if it’s a chick-flick. It’s a very well-made, well-written chick-flick.

1,446) Not even being the least bit tempted to break my more than 15-month break from carbonated beverages today.

1,447) My scars.

1,448) Singing “All that she wants is to go to Kairos” tonight to the tune of the Ace of Base song, “All That She Wants.”

1,449) When I let God be my defender and justifier.

1,450) Random acts of recycling.

1,451) Tagging these blogs creatively so more people can read them.

1,452) Being around something completely annoying and hearing the character Janice from the TV show friends in her nasal Bronx accent saying in my head, “OH MY GOD!”

1,453) Having such entertaining voices in my head.

1,454) Being reminded that surrender to Jesus is the truest freedom I’ve ever known.

1,455) Knowing that God is more faithful and eager to hear my prayers and answer them than I am to pray them most of the time.

1,456) The calming effect of hearing the rainfall outside.

1,457) Thinking of how very far my driving skills have come since my very first time behind the wheel, terrified out of my mind and driving down one of the busiest streets in Memphis.

1,458) Choosing joy over a bitter and complaining spirit.

1,459) My friend Emily, who also serves in Kairos faithfully each week and who has a true Proverbs 31 kind of beauty.

1,460) The thought of going to bed soon after a long day that started at 5:30 this morning.

A Face to Call Home: Still Another Letter to my Future Wife

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Little by little, inch by inch
We built a yard with a garden in the middle of it
It ain’t much but it’s a start
You got me swaying right along to the song in your heart
And a face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home . . . .

So good you didn’t see
The nervous wreck I used to be
You’d never know a man could feel so small
And you never look at me
Like I’m a liability
I bet you think I’ve never been at all

Little by little, inch by inch
We built a yard with a garden in the middle of it
And it ain’t much, but it’s a start
You got me swaying right along to the song in your heart

And a face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home

A face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home

Maybe I could stay a while,
Maybe I could stay a while,
Maybe I could stay a while,
I’m talkin’ like all of the time” (John Mayer).

Here I am again, writing you another letter instead of holding you in my arms. A verse in Proverbs says that a hope deferred makes a heart sick, but a hope deferred is still better than no hope at all. And my hopes are alive, even if the monitors would barely pick up a heartbeat. I still have hope.

I’m seeing more and more of what you’re like and I’m loving it. You have a beauty that’s all your own and you’re probably not even aware of it. It’ll be my job to show you and tell you every single day how beautiful you are and to bring that radiance out of you. You have a smile that makes me weak in the knees and a laugh that warms my heart. I don’t deserve that way you look at me and only me.

If I were to say that I’m up to the task of being a husband and a father, I’d be proving once and for all that I’m not ready. I can say for certain that I’m not up to it– not nearly– but I’ll be calling on all the power of Christ in me if I have any hopes of making us work.

So yet again. I’m praying that you hold on to hope. I’m praying you don’t listen to anyone who tells you how to become their idea of beautiful. Don’t let any man (even me. Especially me) treat you like anything less than a Princess, Child of the King, Beloved, the one Christ thought was to die for. Don’t settle. Don’t compromise. Don’t quit.

I love what I heard while you search for the perfect man, you could be missing the one who’s imperfect but would do anything to make you perfectly happy. I’m praying when the time comes that will be me.

Until then, I love you already and I can’t wait to meet you.

Your future husband (and still another Ragamuffin who’s living his miracle).

Greg

 

Things I Love 45: Sometimes You Just Gotta Walk Away

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island hammock

 

“When bridges seem to give way, we fall into Christ’s safe arms, true bridge, and not into hopelessness. It is safe to trust! We can be too weak to go on because His strength is made perfect in utter brokenness and nail-pierced hands help up. It is safe to trust! We can give thanks in everything because there’s a good God leading, working all things into good. It is safe to trust! The million bridges behind us may seem flattened to the earthly eye, but all bridges ultimately hold, fastened by nails. It is safe to trust.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Well, it was a good day. Not because absolutely everything went exactly like I wanted it to, but because God was in it, orchestrating each and every individual event toward a grander purpose than I can imagine or foresee just yet. I only see the underside of the tapestry He’s weaving, seeing the dark threads intertwined with the lighter ones, not seeing the beautiful imagery being crafted on the other side. Even during the dark moments, I know that the contrast He’s creating will make the brightly threaded moments seem all the brighter and more precious.

1,401) Starting back to work on Monday in a new temp-to-hire position.

1,402) A perfectly blended Arnold Palmer (unsweet tea and lemonade) at the Williamson County Fair.

1,403) Another amazing sermon from Mike Glenn at Brentwood Baptist Church.

1,404) Knowing when to walk away rather than risk getting upset.

1,405) My current therapy session with my sleeping feline therapist, also known as Lucy.

1,406) The continuation of strangely mild temperatures in August.

1,407) Knowing that the start of school means that autumn and changing leaves are just around the proverbial corner.

1,408) Just about all the cheesy 80’s Chicago ballads.

1,409) Playing a friendly game of volleyball without getting overly caught up in winning or playing perfectly.

1,410) Playing Candy Crush Saga on my iPad 2.

1,411) Bare feet on summer grass in the evening.

1,412) Trying on a pair of Teva sandals that feel like heaven.

1,413) Reading about the cat named Lucy who reportedly lived to be 39.

1,414) Free downloads on iBooks on my iPad 2.

1,415) Knowing all (or most) of the words to the essential classic rock songs.

1,416) Trusting the Sovereignty of God above my feelings or my intuition or my gut feelings or my understanding.

1,417) Seeing another old landmark, Gray’s Pharmacy,  in downtown Franklin renovated and finding new life as a restaurant.

1,418) Having avoided just about every single episode of any reality TV show ever made.

1,419) Committing to read the old Catholic mystic writers such as St Teresa of Avila and St John of the Cross.

1,420) Finding a little book, The Little Flowers of Saint Francis of Assisi, that I didn’t even remember I had.

1,421) My cat, Lucy, licking my hand while I’m typing this on my laptop.

1,422) The infinite possibilities and opportunities that await me on August 5.

1,423) Calling those who share my love for Jesus and His grace displayed in salvation my brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of denomination.

1,424) Not caring if I’m an extrovert or an introvert, but just loving being me in all my different moods and temperaments.

1,425) Almost three hours of volleyball this evening.

1,426) My collection of coasters that looks like a little dresser.

1,427) Labor Day being 4 weeks away.

1,428) Seeing diversity in the Body of Christ.

1,429) Remembering that I am the Hands and Feet of Christ and that He can still reach and love and embrace His children through me.

1,430) Finally starting season 4 of Lost after months of being stuck on the cliffhanger of season 3.

 

 

A Week in the Life of a Big Pimpin’ Blogger

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So, you ask, what’s been going on in the very exciting and adventurous life of one Greg Johnson? I couldn’t be more glad you asked. The answer? Not much.

Well, I’ll let you decide. Thursday, I made yet another pilgrimage to McKay’s Used Books, CDs, DVDs, and Just about Anything Else Electronically That You Can Imagine. I traded in about 100 old CDs for an iPad 2 and season 4 of Lost.

Friday, I went to the mall a.k.a. Cool Springs Galleria to buy my friend Lara a wedding present and to do my usual scoping out of any new stores. I found a gift for my friend and registered to win a 2013 Mini Cooper. My odds are 1 in a million, which might tempt some others not to even bother, but I figure if I don’t try, my odds are exactly 0 in a million. So why not?

Today, I attended my friend’s wedding. It was beautiful and she was radiant. There was a magnificent stained glass window and a church organ that would raise the dead and make them weep for joy. Yeah, that kind.

They had a swing dance band at the reception and the usual awesome post-wedding food where the calories don’t count. I wish. I ate, I danced, I ate some more, then they served dinner. It was a good night.

I’d love to win that car. I’ve even prayed about it (as selfish as that sounds). But if some other blessed soul wins, I’ll be just as content to drive my ’95 Jeep Cherokee with its 18 MPG in the city and 190 horsepower engine. Yeah, I’m a big pimpin’ daddy in my slick ride with my newly added Spongebob ornament hanging from my rearview mirror.

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All that to say I’m still more blessed than I deserve (even if it feels lately that I’ve been friend-zoned for all eternity by every female who has ever lived. But that’s another topic for another blog).

And I typed all this on my new (at least to me) iPad 2. Woot!

Becoming the Un-cool Church

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stpauls

I’m taking a break from my Things I Love series. I figure I’ve earned it after coming up with 1,400 entries. Plus, I’m seriously running out of ideas.

So tonight, I’m writing my own take on the Church, inspired by one or two articles I’ve read (more like skimmed) on Facebook in the past week.

I think too many post-modern churches are trying to hard to be hip and edgy and trendy and forgetting why they’re here. The millennial generation is leaving the Church, as I read in an article, not because they find it too hip, but because they’re not finding Jesus there.

I look at it this way. Churches can be all about having 50 different kinds of coffee and come across as a second-rate Starbucks. No matter how edgy the music, somewhere out there someone is doing it better. Watered-down messages and feel-good theology only work for so long until people run into difficult seasons in their lives and find out that Christianity Lite just doesn’t work.

I’m not against coffee or modern worship music. I’m not even against churches being culturally relevant, though I think I’d personally rather see a church be faithful and committed to Jesus. And if the Church isn’t faithful to Jesus, no matter how relevant it is it will be eternally outdated and obsolete.

The church will always be second-rate at the things it was never called to be, but what it can do better than anyone else– what it has always been called to do– is be a dispenser of grace and a displayer of the love of Jesus. Grace is a uniquely Christian commodity. By that, I mean the grace that turns the other cheek, blesses those who curse them, walks the extra mile, and forgives those who persecute them. It’s the grace that loves enemies and forgives the inexcusable in others because you knows God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. Or so said some British guy with the last name of Lewis.

That kind of radical love and obedience isn’t hip or trendy or cool. It will make you look very foolish in the eyes of pop culture and the media and the rest of the world. They won’t understand it and they will revolt against it (and you). But those who need God’s grace and love the most will be drawn to what they see. Those nearest to God’s heart– the outcast, the downtrodden, the poor in spirit, the nobodies of the world– will find their place in this Kingdom ruled not by dictators and power-mongers, but by Lovers and Servants.

The Un-cool Church just doesn’t talk about Jesus. They think Jesus is the most brilliant Man who ever lived and want more than anything to live out what He taught. Not just have the right answers or the right beliefs, but to actually do what Jesus said to do. All of it.

I still love the motto of a church I used to attend, which goes something like this. “Everyone’s welcome. Nobody’s perfect. Anything’s possible.” My prayer for the church is not another hip club or trendy coffee spot or a Christianized meet market for singles. It’s not a neverending behavior modification seminar. It’s about grace that transforms and love that heals and Jesus doing what only Jesus can do– save.

Things I Love 43: It Is Well With My Soul

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island hammock

“Instead of filling with expectations, the joy-filled expect nothing–and are filled” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“When we lay the soil of our hard lives opened the rain of grace and let Joy permeate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? for us? The clouds open when we mouth thanks” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

At another Kairos Night of Worship, I was reminded of just how much in control and how good God is. Even when prayers seem to go unanswered or don’t get answered the way we wanted. Even when life wounds us by loss and pain. Only when the seed is wrecked can new life emerge and the resurrection take place.

1,331) A night of singing old hymns with some very creative arrangements.

1,332) The rhythmic pattern of rain hitting my bedroom window at night.

1,333) Pictures of big dogs and little cats being friends with each other.

1,334) My USAA car insurance.

1,335) Testimonies of how God brought transformation and healing out of deep sorrow and pain.

1,336) 900 people singing as one a Kairos.

1,337) Bananas, which were the only fruit I would eat for a long time.

1,338) The lack of 100+ temps so far this summer.

1,339) Not having to worry about drought conditions this year.

1,340) That God doesn’t just love good little children. He loves even the ones who can’t seem to get their acts together.

1,341) Not being in a legalistic church.

1,342) FInally getting the time zone thing right on my WordPress settings after only 3 years of blogging.

1,343) Appreciating people who think differently than me, i.e. left-brained, logical, liberal, etc.

1,344) How laser printers are so much quieter than the old dot matrix.

1,345) Remembering that life is more of a marathon than a sprint.

1,346) Jumping in the occasional puddle of rain water.

1,347) Browsing (and not stalking) other peoples’ facebook pages.

1,348) The No Crop app that lets me post full pictures on instagram.

1,349) Being reminded of truths through friends’ facebook posts.

1,350) No more pop quizzes ever.

1,351) Being able to cheer and be happy when my friends find their true loves and get married.

1,352) Family and friends who keep encouraging me to keep believing that I will find my own true love.

1,353) Knowing that a chicken coop only has two doors because four would make it a chicken sedan.

1,354) That my 18-year old car still works and runs good.

1,355) Sending Facebook birthday greetings.

1,356) Boxers. No more whitey tightys.

1,357) Getting the room cool so the bed feels extra warm.

1,358) My own unique brand of logic.

1,359) Me.

1,360) The way God sees me as I am, loves me as I could be, treats me like I will be, and is making me more like Jesus.

Things I Love 42: Two Turn-Tables and a Microphone

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island hammock

“If it were up to me…” and then the words pound, desperate and hard, “I’d write this story differently.”…

“Just that maybe… maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”

The words I choked out that dying, ending day, echo. Pierce. There’s a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means.

I don’t” (Ann Voskamp, ).

“Can God be counted on? Count blessings and find out how many of His bridges have already held” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I know you’ve got a certain Beck song stuck in your head. My work here is done.

Not really. There’s still that matter of the list of things I love, which will continue at #1.241. Now wasn’t that absolutely the best segway ever?

1,301) Two healthy and working knees.

1.302) A nightly bowl of Cocoa Pebbles cereal.

1,303) How I can rejoice even in the midst of suffering, knowing God will produce the best out of the worst circumstances.

1.304) My I Am Second bracelet that I forget that I’m wearing until someone else reminds me by telling me how much they like it,

1,305) Amish-made Sweet Potato Butter.

1,306) The slow blinks of a sleepy cat.

1,307) Pulpy orange juice.

1,308) When my technology works like it’s supposed to.

1,309) Having gone 15 months without any carbonated beverages.

1,310) Being able to watch Friends on TBS, Nick @ Nite, and TVLand.

1,311) Kairos Night of Worship tomorrow at 7 pm.

1.312) Writing my 1,087th blog.

1,313) My hole-y green Kairos Impact t-shirt.

1,314) Finally jumping off of a diving board into the deep end of a pool (and blogging about it later).

1,315) The Tom Cat 2 app on my iPhone.

1,316) The little Jack Russell chihuahua mix named Hallelujah that I met at Centennial Park last Saturday.

1,317) My vintage California raisins beach towel.

1,318) Reading a blog I wrote two years ago and finding that God used it to speak to my own life.

1,319) How my friend Katie is one of the best encouragers and team players in sand volleyball history.

1,320) Visiting normal reality for 5 minutes then going back to my own happy little world.

1,321) WordPress, the best site for blogging.

1,322) Talking with my sister using FaceTime.

1,323) The moment when I realize how much more patient I am than I was last year thanks to the grace of God.

1,324) My 22-year old friend Tricia who is one of the most joyful Christians I know.

1,325) Swimming for the first time in over a year last Saturday.

1,326) The term “food porn.”

1,327) Finding lost pens and loose change in the couch cushions.

1,328) Knowing that without the book of Ruth, the Bible would be rather Ruth-less.

1,329) The visual of you grimacing at that last joke.

1,330) Not hearing The Macarena at any point today.

Coming soon to a theater near you, the next James Bond movie. Coming eventually to an electronic device near you, Things I Love 43.

Facing Your Fear

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high dive hannah

I have an embarrassing confession. Well, it may not seem so embarrassing to you, but it was to me. At least until today.

I had never jumped off a diving board into the deep end of a swimming pool.

There. It’s out there.

I had always stayed near the shallow end of the pool. Ever since a few traumatic (at least to me) experiences with swimming and diving boards, I had a fear of the deep end of the pool.

I distinctly remember being in a group of kids who were in some kind of class or something where we learned to swim. The one part I didn’t like was where the lady instructor wanted us to jump off the diving board into the deep end. I wasn’t having any part of that.

I remember my way of getting back at her was deliberately peeing in her pool. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but it did to my 8-year old mind.

Today for the first time, I dove off the diving board. It wasn’t a gold medal dive. Or silver. Not even aluminum. It probably wasn’t even a dive even in the loosest sense of the word. But I went from the diving board into the pool. That’s gotta count for something.

What are you afraid of? Is it a conversation you’ve put off having? Is it asking that girl (or guy) out on a date? Is it taking a risk on a new career or a new city?

It may be as simple as trying new foods or diving into swimming pools. All I know is that there is great freedom in facing your fear head on and finding out it wasn’t nearly so big and bad as you had always thought.

That’s the way with fear. All bark and no bite. All talk and no game. Fear is a lie, pure and simple, that the perfect love of Jesus drives out every single time.

Fear has no place alongside of faith in a believer. And I don’t mean how much you believe in Jesus as much as how much He believes in you and roots for you and fights for you and intercedes for you.

I don’t know why I was ever afraid. I’m sure that lady would have caught me when I dove in. I’m just as sure that whenever I take a leap of faith in any situation, I will either learn to fly or fall into the loving arms of my Abba Father.

As Ann Voskamp said, “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.”

And the love of a Father for His children knows no end. Period.

 

Things I Love 9: This Series Is Getting Completely Redonkulous

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island hammock

I apologize for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the next installment of this series. Both of you.

I got off track in more ways than one, but now I continue this seemingly neverending series with #192.

192) A cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.

193) Any time I get free food, even if it’s just a free dreamcone from Chick-fil-A (one of the perks of having the app foursquare on my iPhone!)

194) Knowing that even if the worst case scenario actually comes to pass, God’s taking care of me and everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

195) The absolute magic of Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers.

196) Homemade bread.

197) Sweet potato french fries (I recommend Pucketts or The Pharmacy).

198) Knowing my family and friends are praying for me as I write this.

199) Being able to pray the prayer that never fails– Your will be done– and sincerely mean it.

200) Being okay after having my heart broken in a very failed attempt to take a friendship to the next level.

201) That the best things in life really are free.

202) GPS for those like me who are directionally-impaired.

203) Ice cold water on a hot day.

204) Unexpectedly seeing old friends at Kairos.

205) Having peace even in the midst of spectacularly blowing a friendship to smithereens.

206) When technology works like its supposed to.

207) Getting all green lights on my way to church.

208) That I am an heir with Christ and no longer a slave to fear but now possess a spirit of adoption and can cry, “Abba, Daddy” to the God and Maker of the Universe.

209) That low sexy voice you get when ever you have a cold or hay fever.

210) Hearing a favorite song at just the right moment.

211) The effortless artistry of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice.

212) That God hears my feeble prayers– and even my sighs and groans when I don’t have the words.

213) That God can use messes like Moses, Abraham, David, Peter, and (most amazing of all) me.

Things I Love 8: Greg’s Sanity Has Left the Building

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island hammock

FYI: these blogs will continue until I get to 1,000 things I love. It’s from the book, One Thousand Gifts, so I’m trying to list out– wait for it– 1,000 little things that I believe are God’s gifts to me and daily reminders that stir me to gratitude and thanksgiving as a lifestyle. Plus, I don’t have to worry about what I will be blogging on until at least July of 2014. Just kidding. Sort of.

Ok. Here goes the list, starting at #168. Drum roll, please.

168) Looking through old photo albums and reliving those old memories and remembering people who’ve been gone from my life for a while (and thinking they’re looking down from heaven and smiling at those photos, too).

169) My extremely loud Hawaiian shirt, which one random teenager called “sick.” I guess that’s a compliment. I’m not really sure.

170) Everything related to either Narnia and Wardrobes or Middle Earth and Hobbits.

171) Surprise birthday parties (hint, hint, subtle subliminal suggestion. . . cough).

172) Celebrating Easter and remembering that the Resurrection changed EVERYTHING. Including me.

173) That Jesus would have chosen the nails and the cross and the agony if only for me alone.

174) By Jesus loving me unconditionally and prodigally, he made me loveable.

175) Silent movies.

176) Box hockey (and the fact that I know what box hockey is).

177) All my high school reunions where I see old friends and get to catch up after 10 (or 20) years apart.

178) That I get to be a small part of Kairos, a worship gathering for young adults, every week and I see God at work there every single week.

179) Being content in my relationships and not obsessively wondering where they might or might not be headed,

180) Knowing that if the absolute worst case scenario should happen, I would still be loved by Jesus and God would still work even that out for my good and his glory.

181) How randomly my brain works these days.

182) The vast array of autumn colors from the leaves changing and falling.

183) Doing small random acts of kindness for people when they least expect it.

184) Any positive news stories (because they are sadly the exception and not the rule).

185) That I’m down to 715 more things to be thankful for.

186) Now it’s only 714.

187) That I’m not what everyone else thinks I am or even what I think of myself, but only what Jesus says I am– Chosen, Redeemed, Beloved, Child of God, Forgiven, Free, etc.

188) That Jesus won’t ever stop reminding me of my true identity and sending friends who will help me remember the song in my heart when I forget the words.

189) Lightning bugs at night in an open field.

190) Cheese grits made just right.

191) That I probably have at least 32 more of these blogs a-comin’ your way. But not in a row.