grace

Friends and Pins and Stuff

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I have a Pinterest account. I think I’ve established that fact.

I will go a while without pinning anything and then I will pin for 30 minutes straight. Or something like that. I’ve never actually timed my pinning sessions.

Lately, I’ve been pinning a lot of Friends- themed pins. It’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that the last episode of that show aired 10 years ago. 10 years.

In my mind, 1994 was 10 years ago, not 2004. It’s like I have a 10-year block in my brain. And I am really not ready for 1984 to be 30 years in the past.

I don’t feel 40-something. Most of the time I feel 30-something (or even 20-something on really good days). The joke is that you feel like you’re in your 20’s until you hang out with actual 20-somethings, then you feel your own age again.

So back to Friends. I still love watching the re-runs. All those characters were so perfectly cast and each one had his or her own quirks and faults and strong points. Like me. I’m sure I have my strengths and weaknesses like anybody else.

I think we all have to realize that as imperfect as we are, so is everybody else around us. If I can give myself grace for not being perfect and for committing the occasional blunder or two, I can do the same for others.

It’s easy to nurse the wounds and play the martyr and hold grudges. Somehow, it feels better. But it’s not the better way. Jesus showed that the better way is forgiveness. The better way is turning the other cheek. The better way is loving your enemies.

Notice I didn’t say the easier way. Usually, the better way is the harder way because it goes against my natural inclinations. I’d rather treat others like they treat me and not give those who don’t treat me right the time of day.

But ultimately, it’s not about how others treat me. It’s about how Jesus treated me when I was a stranger and an alien and an enemy. That’s my new standard now.

And no, I didn’t expect to go from 90’s TV sitcoms to heavy theology in one blog. That’s just how I roll sometimes.

Just Some Of My Own Thoughts

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I’ve been thinking a lot about some things and I thought I’d share some of these with you:

1) Loving someone doesn’t mean you automatically agree with all of their decisions and lifestyle choices. It doesn’t mean you endorse 100% of all that they say and do. In fact, love means wanting the very best for the other and that means you don’t want that person to make bad and/or unwise choices.

2) Disagreeing with someone isn’t  synonymous with disliking that person. Just because I don’t agree with a choice you make or your lifestyle does NOT mean that I disapprove of you as a person.

3) Because a majority of people hold an opinion doesn’t necessarily make it right. I am one of those old fashioned people who still believe  that if the Bible says it, that settles it. God doesn’t need my belief to validate that.

4) I don’t think voicing disapproval automatically constitutes hate speech. There is a way to speak the truth in love.

5) I can’t single out one sin that I don’t struggle with to make a crusade out of. We all struggle with something and we all have screwed up in one arena or another. We all need the grace of God.

You can take that and apply it any way you want. For me, it’s never been about popularity anyway. It’s been about me expressing what I believe and what I love and what irks me.

I hope you will make your decisions based not on emotion but on the truth as revealed in God’s word. I hope you will remember that famous verse about letting the one who is without sin cast the first stone. I hope you will remember most of all that what the Bible calls us to more than anything else is to love people, regardless of whether they choose Jesus or not.

Is that vague enough for you?

Some Wise Words Written by Someone Else

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This is one of those nights when I couldn’t think of a blessed thing to write about so I am borrowing someone else’s words. In this case, that someone is Frederick Buechner, one of my favorite writers. Here are those words:

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and the pain of it no less than the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

And then there’s this one:

“From the simplest lyric to the most complex novel and densest drama, literature is asking us to pay attention. Pay attention to the frog. Pay attention to the west wind. Pay attention to the boy on the raft, the lady in the tower, the old man on the train. In sum, pay attention to the world and all that dwells therein and thereby learn at last to pay attention to yourself and all that dwells therein. . .

“Literature, painting, music — the most basic lesson that all art teaches us is to stop, look, and listen to life on this planet, including our own lives, as a vastly richer, deeper, more mysterious business than most of the time it ever occurs to us to suspect as we bumble along from day to day on automatic pilot. In a world that for the most part steers clear of the whole idea of holiness, art is one of the few places left where we can speak to each other of holy things. . .

“And when Jesus comes along saying that the greatest command of all is to love God and to love our neighbor, he too is asking us to pay attention. If we are to love God, we must first stop, look, and listen for him in what is happening around us and inside us. If we are to love our neighbors, before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces, but the life behind and within their faces. Here it is love that is the frame we see them in.”

 

My Exciting Friday

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Once again, I’m thankful for Friday. I love how Friday always comes around every week, whether it’s been a great or a really bad week.

I didn’t really have much of a plan. I spent part of the evening with family and part of it in front of the iPad watching Netflix. More specifically, the first episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs and Call the Midwife. Both are BBC series, in case you were wondering.

They can’t all be super exciting and thrilling, right? Sometimes, you need a nice quiet evening at home. Even if you are the ultimate life of the party, like me. Or my cat Lucy.

I have no concrete plans for the remainder of the weekend. I am as always open to suggestions and invitations. I will bring chips and corny jokes.

I can’t help thinking of a Good Friday that didn’t seem so good at the time. They had just crucified Jesus. The most unthinkable and unimaginable had actually happened. Jesus, God in the flesh, was dead.

Of course, we know the rest of the story. That’s what makes Good Friday good.

All we did to Jesus couldn’t stop Him. Not even death and a cold grave could hold Him. After all, nothing is stronger than Love. Not hate, not indifference, not death. Nothing.

When Jesus went into that tomb, He took my sins with Him, but when He came out on Sunday, He left them behind with those grave clothes. I love that part.

So it’s not a bad Friday after all.

Those Little Moments

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I found out something that broke my heart tonight. I can’t share specifically what the details are, but I can say that it made me very sad for a good friend of mine. I have some takeaways (none of which are new or original) to pass along and which I hope to practice more in the future:

1) Never take those you love for granted, whether they’re blood-related or not. As morbid as it sounds, it is true that you never know when or if you’ll see that person again in this lifetime. No one is guaranteed tomorrow.

2) If possible, err on the side of telling family and friends you love them TOO much rather than not enough. By that, I mean tell them every time you see them or call them or text them.

3) Practice forgiveness and mercy and grace. Forgiving someone may be hard, but not as hard as living with the regret of words not spoken and the knowledge that you’ll never again have the chance to say “I’m sorry, forgive me” or “I forgive you”.

4) While you never fully appreciate anything or anyone until you look back in hindsight, you can choose to value those around you and let them know how much you value them.

5) Pray for those you love and let them know you’re praying for them. Nothing means more to me than knowing family and friends are praying for me.

6) Choose hugs instead of handshakes. Choose the people you’re with instead of your social media friends. Choose today to reach oit to someone you’ve lost touch with or had a falling out with or neglected in recent months.

That’s all I have. I am as always thankful for you. God bless.

PS Those little moments will be the ones you treasure and remember most fondly. Not the accolades or awards or promotions or titles or accomplisments. It will be the time you spent with those you love.

Forgiveness and Grace in January

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“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family” Henri J.M. Nouwen).

Have you royally messed up with a friend (or at least felt like you have)? Have you ever had someone “let you have it,” verbally blasting you with a post or a text?

Maybe you deserved it. Maybe not.

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Or maybe you’re the one who did the telling off. Maybe you got way upset with someone and spoke in pure anger and frustration. Maybe that person deserved it.

I have some questions for you and me.

1) Since when is the life of a believer about giving people what they deserve? Isn’t it supposed to be about giving those in your life the benefit of the doubt and extending grace?

Which leads to my second question:

2) Would I want Jesus treating me as I deserve? Would I even stand a chance?

I know the answers to the second question are: no, not long, and a snowball’s chance in hell.

Maybe I need to drop that stone in my hand and look in the mirror. I may look just like that person I intend to cast that proverbial first stone at. I may not struggle with the same sins, but my sins would make me just as guilty in the eyes of a holy God if not for grace and Jesus.

It’s one thing to call out a person in love when their actions don’t match their professed beliefs. It’s another to blast someone and assume sinful motives, which I’ve done too many times. And in this case, once is one time too many.

You will lose friendships through misundestandings. You will have “friends” who show their true colors when you act in the slightest unloving way or slip in the least. You will have those who will stick with you even when you yourself would have bailed on you.

I’m glad God doesn’t ever give me what I have coming to me or treat me as my sins deserve. Even on my best days, I’d still be in trouble. Because of my favorite word– grace– God looks at my filthy rags of good intentions and best efforts and sees the perfection of Jesus.

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Gosh, I do so love grace!

PS You will need to forgive yourself at some point. All of the above still applies if it’s you needing the forgiveness from yourself.

I Wonder as I Wander

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I came home from a Christmas Eve service a little bummed. Not for any specific reason. Just that I was tired and thinking once again about all I didn’t have instead of what I do.

Then I saw it. I saw the setting sun reflected off the still waters of a shallow pond. It was almost as if God gave me that moment to remind me that what I DO have matters so much more than what I DON’T.

I started wondering a few things:

I wonder if Mary mourned the loss of all she gave up when God called her. I know it seems strange, almost sacreligious, to think such a thing.

But Mary was a teenager who must have had her own dreams and her own fantasies of how her life would turn out. None of them involved an unexplainable (in human terms) pregnancy or giving birth to a Son whom she would witness being unfairly tried, tortured, and publicly executed.

God’s dreams often require that we give up not just bad things, but even some good and even very good things if they’re not God’s best for us. Letting go of those things can feel like a death knell to our hearts even if we know something better is coming.

Mary could have had a normal marriage with normal children and been well-respected in her community and taken no flack. But no one would ever have remembered her name.

God has a dream for you in His heart that sometimes won’t make sense. At times, it will feel too much like a letting go and giving up of much that we hold dear. It will be painful at times, like losing a part of your heart.

The payoff is so much more than worth it. Mary got to see the Messiah, hold Him in her arms, see Him grow up, and watch Him prove that not even that horrific death could hold Him down.

She got to see with her own eyes the salvation of the world. Her own salvation.

I call that more than worth it.

Random Thoughts on a December Friday

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I think I mentioned a few posts back that I was tired. I still am. That’s what working 10+ hour days will do to a person. Especially when you’re talking six days a week of those long hours.

The good news is I have a job and I have money. I’m no Donald Trump about to go buy another island, but I can pay my bills and not have to worry about the next meal. That’s what I call blessed.

I haven’t forgotten that half the world’s population lives on $2 a day or less. Most of them will go to bed hungry, malnourished, and sick from water-b0rn illnesses caused by drinking unsafe water. Half the world’s population has never made or received a phone call, something I take for granted on a daily basis. Who am I to complain about working a few extra hours here and there?

When I get tired, I get cranky. Sometimes, I get sarcastic, although I very rarely let those kinds of comments out into the open air. I’d probably have way less friends and even less of a chance of dating than I do now.

I also get way self-absorbed and a little paranoid. I don’t think so much that people are out to get me, but rather they’re out to abandon me at the first opportunity. Fears that seem irrational during the day can seem very real at night. In the same way, thoughts that I would never entertain for a second when I’m well-rested seem to take root when I am exhausted to think clearly.

It’s a good thing God loves me in all my moods and in all my phases of life and through all my ups and downs. His grace covers it all. That same God that meets me where I am and loves me where I am won’t let me stay there. I’m thankful I’m a lot less self-centered and fearful than I used to be.

I get to sleep in tomorrow. It may not seem like such a big deal to you and normally it wouldn’t to me, but when you’ve had to be at work at 6 am for the past three Saturdays, being able to sleep past 8 am is a welcome change.

I love that when I wake up in the morning, God’s mercies will be new and His faithfulness will be just as fresh as that dew on those flowers in the spring. God is good like that.

My Exhausted Advent Prayer

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Note: I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my entire life. Working 136 hours in two weeks will do that to a person. Plus, I have some sort of allergy/sinus/cold crud that is extremely annoying.

I just finished watching A Charlie Brown Christmas again. As always, I loved it.

As always, I got a little emotional when Charlie Brown thinks he’s killed his little Christmas tree. He says, “Everything I touch gets ruined.”

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe about relationships? Careers? Hopes?

This Advent prayer is for you and me:

Lord, this season marks the anticipation of Your coming. We long for and look forward to Your arrival. We so need you.

Too often, we feel neglected, forgotten, left out and alone. We feel like the only ones that people can never make time for.

We long to matter to someone, to not always feel like the substitute people that others will be around only when the people they REALLY want to be with aren’t available.

It seems as though sometimes that people have given up on us, decided we weren’t worth the effort, and moved on. Only they neglected to tell us.

Be near us tonight. Remind us that Your coming is not far off now.

Remind us that Immanuel means “God is with you” and “God is with me.”

Immanuel means that You are near to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit. Those who have all but given up on people and who are so fearful of being let down and hurt yet again that they have shut down their hearts.

Let us feel you near. Let us hear You speak words of tender compassion in the day, sing songs of joy and delight over us in the night. Call us by our true names that only you and we know.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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