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Another Letter to Myself

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Last year at Kairos, Mike Glenn instructed us to take pen to paper and write ourselves a letter, to be place in a self-addressed envelope and mailed back, to us at some point in the future. The point was that you could see where you were back then and where you are now and how far you’ve come.

Mine came back today. Here’s what I wrote way back in 2014:

“Dear Me,

You probably feel like your life is headed toward a dead end. You feel like everything will always be as it is right now. You feel like you’ll never move out on your own or go on a date, much less ever get married. You feel like you’ll always be behind, trying to catch up.

Remember, God can take anything in your life and turn it to good. What seems impossible to you right now isn’t even remotely difficult for God. One day, you will look back and see God was preparing you for a future only He could see. Remember that you kept putting one foot in front of the other, trusting that God knew what He was doing when you didn’t.

God is good. His promises are always true, in sunshine and rain, joy and pain, good and bad, in daytime and nighttime, as long as forever lasts.

Don’t let your past define you. Don’t let failure define you. Don’t let other people (or even you) define you. Let the Abba Father who calls you His Beloved be the one who defines you both now and forevermore.

A slightly wiser version of you”

 

Throwing Rocks 2

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robin-wright-as-jenny-curran-in-forrest-gump

It almost always happens when I write one of these blogs that I will remember something I left out. In this case, it was when I woke up in the middle of the night around 2 am that I remembered what specifically I left out.

Maybe the person who needs your forgiveness the most is you.

Even if someone else did the wounding, it’s easy to blame yourself for letting it happen. Especially if the abuse went on for some time. You stayed and made excuses and didn’t run when you had the chance. So a part of you feels that you deserve what you got.

First of all, you don’t.

And second, you survived. You’re still here, which counts as a win in my book.

Sometimes, you just need to forgive yourself for not living up to your own unrealistic expectations. Or to the expectations that the culture and society has hoodwinked you into believing were essential to your success.

You need to know that God’s plan for you is your own and no one else’s. Maybe you’re not where everyone else seems to be at this point in your life. But you are where God put you. Where God wants you to be. Where God is using you and molding you and making you more like Jesus. And that is by far the best place to be.

I know I’d rather have Jesus and nothing else than to have everything else and not have Jesus.

So everything I said about laying those rocks down and building that altar still applies, even the person who you’re aiming at is your own reflection in the mirror. Let the altar be as a reminder of the time when you stopped letting your failures or unmet expectations or your shame define you. When you started to let your Creator define you.

I think that pretty much covers it.

All Those Celebrity Crushes

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alf

It seemed so harmless. You know. The game where you name your celebrity crushes? How can there be any harm in it?

But I started thinking more about it today. Probably more than I should have. After all, one of my spiritual gifts is over-thinking things.

I think the problem is this. When we get involved in those crushes, we are buying into the world’s definition of beauty. And it is a very superficial, surface kind that only goes as deep as the glossy 8X10 paper it’s printed on.

Dr. Michael Easley, one of my favorite teachers, always says, “Don’t let the world teach you theology.” I say, “Don’t let the world define beauty for you.”

Beauty is more than body shapes and skin tones. For me, beauty isn’t what’s on the outside transforming the inward, but what’s on the inside coming out on the outside. In other words, a woman whose heart is at rest and who is comfortable in who she is as a woman will show a kind of beauty that make-up and cosmetics can’t touch. A man who is confident in how God made him and who knows who he is in Christ will have a kind of handsomeness that is more than chiseled abs and sculpted arms.

Beauty is who you are more than what you look like. Beauty is character– joy you can’t contain spilling out of every pore and coming out as kind of a glow. You know it when you see it. And like I’ve said before, you have to look with a different set of eyes to see it. You have to be able to look at others the way God looks at you.

Another thing. Celebrity crushes feed into distorted and unrealistic expectations and standards. Girls don’t want a nice guy. They want a nice guy who looks like Ryan Gosling. Guys want a sweet girl who looks like Kate Upton.

The problem is that no one looks like that. Not even those celebrities. There is always photoshopping and touching up that goes into the image. Not to say that physical attractiveness isn’t important, but hopefully what you find attractive in a person will be kindness and grace as much as looks.

So I’m currently deleting all my celebrity photos. Most of all, I’m going to start praying that God transforms my character into one that will attract the woman He has for me. I’m praying you won’t get so caught up in looking for the perfect man or woman that you miss that imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. I’m praying you will let God choose, for God always gives the very best to those who leave the choice with Him (thanks to Elisabeth Elliot for that one).

I think I’m looking for a face to call home.

 

Things I Love 30: That’s The Way Love Goes

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island hammock

“Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perserverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?” (Ann Voskamp)

“The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” (Ann Voskamp)

The big 3-0. That’s how many blogs I’ve written in this series. It seems like only yesterday that I was writing the first one. Actually, it was more like three weeks ago. Maybe four. But here I am yet again, starting out with #871.

871) Still having peace and joy after being defriended on Facebook for no apparent reason (at least none that was given with no chance to correct whatever I did wrong).

872) The comfort of chocolate ice cream.

873) That Aslan is on the move.

874) A surprise visit from a friendly neighborhood cat.

875) Hanging out with my sister when it’s just the two of us, even if it’s at Michael’s.

876) Lucy the Wonder Kitty half-asleep and purring in my lap.

877) Those times when God reminds me gently that He is all I really need.

878) Salted peanuts.

879) Being able to let go and move on.

880) Seeing pictures of my friends John and Michelle’s new baby and knowing she will be loved.

881) The way my old dog Murphy used to sigh with contentment at the end of a long day.

882) Being an Eagle Scout.

883) Adele’s voice.

884) Having a great weekend to look forward to.

885) Not giving a . . . well, crap about what other people think anymore.

886) The tender yet relentless pursuit of the Father for His children (including me).

887) My coffee table book of Ansel Adams photography that I picked up at an estate sale for $5.

888) Red Velvet anything.

889) God using people like the Apostle Peter and the Apostle Paul.

890) My big book of Vincent Van Gogh artwork.

891) Friends who refuse to give up on other friends.

892) That last bit of sleep just before I have to wake up in the morning.

893) My friend who recently moved to Orlando and who is one of the sweetest kindest people I’ve been blessed to know.

894) Visions of lambs lying down with lions and being unafraid.

895) Red kool-aid. As long as it’s not during VBS.

896) A really good foot massage.

897) Running water, indoor plumbing, and all those other things I take for granted that half the world would love to have.

898) My very swanky Mr. Rogers t-shirt.

899) When I stop trying to define who my neighbor is and start trying to be one.

900) Big Red gum.

901) That I’m down to less than 100 things I love left. Maybe

902) Finding the perfectly random pin on Pinterest.

903) Google Chrome (much more than Internet Explorer).

904) Purple stuff (way more than Tang).

905) 10,000 years to sing of 10,000 reasons to bless the Lord.