death

Even If . . .

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“Even if today didn’t go as planned, Lord
and if it’s not at all what we hoped,
and if “we’re* not yet quite what we hoped,
and if life’s not unfolding to our Plan A
and if it’s not even close to Plan B
and if the diagnosis is not great
and if the forecast is not good
and if not… and if not… and if not…
You still are. You still are Good & You still are God.
And we will be the people who will still…
The people who will still rest in it & sing it into the dark:
‘and if not — He is still Good. He is still God… so we can still & be & be at rest.’” #HonestPrayers” (Ann Voskamp).

Even if today didn’t go as planned. Or this week. Or this month. Or even this year (cue the Friends theme song).

God is still good.

His plans for you are still good.

His timing is still perfect and right on time.

You can trust.

You can rest.

And you can still sing into that darkness.

Worshipping Through Weeping

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“Weeping may last through the night,
    but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5, NLT).

Today as a deacon, I attended the celebration of life service for one of our members who tragically lost his life at age 42. He had been married only 16 months when his life was unexpectedly cut short.

The funeral was beautiful and God-honoring. My favorite part of the entire service was when the worship leader sang the first song, the widow of the deceased stood up alone and raised her hands in worship, grieving and praising at the same time.

That’s an image I will carry with me as long as I live, I think. She had her world utterly wrecked like a rug pulled out from underneath her and still was able to declare like Job, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21, ESV).

There is so much evil in the world and so much that makes no sense. If this life is all there is, then there is no hope, no future, and no reason to keep going. But if we have the promise of God for something better coming (and we do), then we know that this is what the Apostle Paul calls a light and momentary affliction compared to the joy that’s coming.

Not that grief is nothing. Not that the pain isn’t real. But the coming joy will overwhelm us and seem so much greater than any sorrow that went before, like a woman holding her newborn baby after the agony of giving birth only is thinking of new life and not pain.

My brain has no compartment for comprehending the level of suffering this woman is currently undergoing and how radically different her life will be from now on. There will always be a void where her husband should be and a dull ache that never completely goes away, but there will always be a Father’s love that grows deeper and sweeter with the passing of time.

“Yea, though walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” The psalm does not pretend that evil and death do not exist. Terrible things happen, and they happen to good people as well as to bad people. Even the paths of righteousness lead through the valley of the shadow. Death lies ahead for all of us, saints and sinners alike, and for all the ones we love. The psalmist doesn’t try to explain evil. He doesn’t try to minimize evil. He simply says he will not fear evil. For all the power that evil has, it doesn’t have the power to make him afraid” Frederick Buechner, The Clown in the Belfry).

Dog Sitting on the 4th of July

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It seems to be a tradition for me lately that I’m dog sitting on Independence Day. Not that I mind. I’d rather be hanging out with two sweet old pups than waiting on fireworks with the masses in the sweaty hot summer air.

I’m thankful for each opportunity that I get to take care of these two. There used to be three, but one crossed the rainbow bridge a few years ago. But I don’t want to take for granted that I’ll always be able to go back to Bellevue and take care of these critters.

Tonight, I hopefully can be a calming presence in the midst of all the fireworks going off up and down the street. I don’t think the pups mind much. So far, they’ve napped through all the good parts. Or at least the really loud parts.

I actually did get to see some very decent fireworks a couple of weeks ago at my church’s VBS Finale Night. Maybe they’re not up to downtown Nashville standards, but I’ll take slightly less spectacular fireworks over waiting the rest of my natural born life to get out of downtown Nashville at 1 am afterward.

Ultimately, today isn’t really about food or fireworks. It’s about freedom. It’s about men and women who shed their blood and laid down their lives so that we could have independence and the liberty to live and dress and speak and think as we want. Ideally, freedom means that we can be our best selves the way God created us to be.

Of course, we celebrate the ultimate sacrifice on Easter Sunday, remembering the cross and the empty tomb. But it’s helpful to remember Jesus laying down His life for those He loved on this day as well. All true freedom traces itself back to that Friday afternoon and that Sunday morning eventually.

I can be thankful for that sitting in a room with two very sleepy dogs away from the madding crowds waiting to see the pyrotechnics begin. I call that a win.

Never the Same

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“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

You can say the same for the heart. There are certain experiences in life that stretch your heart, like marriage, having a child, death, or a loved one moving away. Once your heart is stretched, it can never go back to what it used to be.

I can honestly say that I have known people in my life that have left imprints in my mind and in my heart. Some are no longer living. Some have moved on to different places or different phases of their lives. I may never see these people again this side of heaven, but I know that I am different and better because of them.

You never know sometimes when it’s the last time you’ll ever see someone. You think there will be more time, more experiences like this one. Sometimes, you get closure and a chance to process the grief of a goodbye, even if it’s not the grieving of death. Other times, you don’t.

One option is to be bitter and to focus on what was that will never be again. Or you could be thankful for what was because it made you who you are now. God never promised that every single person in your life would be there indefinitely. Some are only meant for a season. Some are to teach you a lesson. Some are like angels used by God to minister to you in a particularly difficult passage.

The best way to pay it forward is to be that kind of person to someone else. Just as someone was once God with skin on to you, so you can do your best to be that to someone else. You can’t be Jesus, but you can be the physical manifestation of God ministering to that person as His hands and feet, His voice.

Some of you might be reading these words right now. To you I say, “Thank you. I am more like Jesus because of you.”

Your Value

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I love stories like this one. The man basically paid a penny for something that ended up being practically priceless. The reason the card is so valuable is because it’s extremely rare, especially in near mint condition. Also, the fact that I collected baseball cards back in the day makes it mean more to me.

I’ve always dreamed of something like that. I’d love to walk into a thrift store and find a rare record or piece of artwork. I did find an autographed first edition copy of Gregg Allman’s autobiography, though I very much doubt it’s worth anything close to $25 million. Still, it makes for a cool story to tell.

I’m reminded of what my pastor said a long time ago. He said that when you doubt your worth, remember who you are and Whose you are. Remember who made you. If God could flip you upside down and somehow show you His signature on you, then you would know how valuable you are. Not worthless but priceless.

Not only do you have value from God’s creation of you, but also because Jesus paid the highest possible price to redeem you. It wasn’t from anything the world values. It wasn’t your good looks or your fat bank account or your skinny body. It wasn’t because of what a wonderful human being you are. In fact, the Bible says that while we were yet sinners and enemies of God, Christ died for us. Not from any intrinsic value in and of ourselves but from the value God placed on us of bearing the image of God. Basically, it was God’s good pleasure to love us and to die for us to redeem us.

So remember your value on those days when you feel less than. It’s not your job title or your bank account or the letters after your name. It’s what God says about you and what He did for you on the cross. That’s your worth.

A Puritan Prayer

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This is most likely a repeat, but it’s worth reading again. It’s from The Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers that is one of the best books I have ever read outside of the Bible:

“O God of Grace,
Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitute,
and hast imputed his righteousness to my soul,
clothing me with bridegroom’s robe,
decking me with jewels of holiness.
But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;
my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;
my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.
I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,
no loom to weave my own righteousness;
I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,
for thou dost always justify the ungodly;
I am always going into the far country,
and always returning home as a prodigal,
always saying, Father, forgive me,
and thou art always bringing forth the best robe.
Every morning let me wear it,
every evening return in it,
go out to the day’s work in it,
be married in it,
be wound in death in it,
stand before the great white throne in it,
enter heaven in it shining as the sun.
Grant me never to lose sight of
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,
the exceeding glory of Christ,
the exceeding beauty of holiness,
the exceeding wonder of grace” (The Valley of Vision – A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, Edited by Arthur Bennett).

Trusting Beyond Knowing

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“Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading. It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us ‘go.’ The root of faith is the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest snares is the idea that God is sure to lead us to success.

The final stage in the life of faith is attainment of character. There are many passing transfigurations of character; when we pray we feel the blessing of God enwrapping us and for the time being we are changed, then we get back to the ordinary days and ways and the glory vanishes. The life of faith is not a life of mounting up with wings, but a life of walking and not fainting. It is not a question of sanctification; but of something infinitely further on than sanctification, of faith that has been tried and proved and has stood the test. Abraham is not a type of sanctification, but a type of the life of faith, a tried faith built on a real God. ‘Abraham believed God’ (Oswald Chambers).

I heard a sermon today that talked about trusting beyond knowing. Basically, the idea is that faith goes beyond understanding. If I knew everything and saw the whole picture, I wouldn’t need faith.

But the life of faith is one where you only see the next step in front of you, not the entire path. You have to take that first step in order to see the next one. There is no magic word or secret formula that will allow you to skip the difficult parts or to forego being obedient in the present.

There’s no guarantee that being faithful will always lead to prosperity and blessing. Sometimes, the path of obedience leads through the valley of the shadow of death. But the promise we have is that our Shepherd is with us when we go down that road. His rod and staff will comfort us.

We have no promise of material reward for our obedience. We do know that God is faithful to be with us and to fight for us and to never leave or forsake us. We know that God will provide for every need and He Himself will be our inheritance and our reward.

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer” (Corrie ten Boom).

May we sit still and trust our Engineer, no matter where He leads us.

Being the Easter People

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Easter is over, according to all the stores and calendars. There are no more cute little bunny displays at your local Hallmark or Cadbury eggs or wicker baskets at the grocery store. Seemingly just about everybody has moved on to the next big holiday, which I believe is Mother’s Day in May.

But for those who celebrate Easter as Resurrection Day, the celebration goes on. We know that Jesus is still risen and alive. Plus, if you follow the Book of Common Prayer you know there is still Ascension Day and Pentecost to come.

I’m not against all the Easter bunnies and baskets and Easter egg hunts and all the candy. I’m especially not against the candy. But when you reduce Easter to these symbols and turn it into just one day, it cheapens the meaning.

Just as the birth of Jesus ushered in a new way of counting the years (as we moved from B.C. to A.D.), so Easter is equally a marker in history where everything changed. Many Old and New Testament prophecies came to pass on that day.

I hope that we won’t go back to business as usual next Sunday. I hope we will retain the message of Resurrection Day through all the weeks and months to come. The worst moment, the worst day, the worst part of your life is never the final defining moment in your life because Jesus is alive and the tomb is empty. Your hope is never in vain because Jesus conquered sin, death, hell, and everything else that will ever come against you to defeat you.

Easter isn’t just a day but a mindset. As Pope John Paul II said, “Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”

Easter Monday

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I did something new this year that will most likely be a tradition from now on. I went to see Andrew Peterson on his Resurrection Letters tour on Easter Monday. I’ve been to three of his Behold the Lamb of God concerts, but not one for Easter.

Of course it was amazing. Every part of it pointed to Jesus as the one who overcame death and the grave, the Lamb slain for the sins of the world. It helped me to once again put everything else into perspective in the light of the empty tomb.

I was captivated by the line of a song that mentioned the resurrection of daffodils in spring. That happens every year after all the trees go bare and the ground is barren during winter. Spring really is the perfect picture of the resurrection with all the flowers and buds coming back from a kind of death to full bloom.

I like spring, but I’m not a fan of all the pollen. But even that means that new life is coming, because all that pollen will germinate the seeds that will burst forth in growth and life. I think I can handle a bit of sinus overload if it means seeing the riot of colors that will follow soon after.

But all that points to the one day when those who have died in Christ will rise. All of the creation that was ruined in the fall will be restored and renewed. What seems so stressful and what keeps me up late at night won’t seem important in view of all the new life. In fact, I probably won’t remember what was causing me all of the anxiety.

Just as surely as spring follows winter, so will Jesus return in the same way He departed from the disciples.

“Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
Of all blessing and honor and glory
Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
Is He worthy of this?

He is!
Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
He is!
He is!” (Andrew Peterson/Ben Shive).

Holy Saturday Hope

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“O God, Creator of heaven and earth: Grant that, as the crucified body of your dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen” (from The Book of Common Prayer).

I don’t think I’ve ever participated in any kind of church service centered around Holy Saturday. Typically, every church I’ve ever attended makes a really big deal about Easter Sunday (and with good reason). More recently, I’ve seen some Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services.

But nothing for Holy Saturday.

Maybe that’s because there really isn’t much to celebrate or commemorate. At this point, Jesus is dead and in the tomb. The disciples are scared to death, grief-stricken, and hiding out. There is nothing in Scripture about anything happening on this day at all.

But we as believers with the gift of history and hindsight know what’s coming. We know that the worst moment in history is about to give way to the greatest. From absolute despair and sadness will come overwhelming amazement and joy.

In the Jewish culture of Jesus’ day, Saturday was a day of rest. So possibly it’s good not to have yet another service in an already packed holy week. Perhaps we need to take time to meditate and reflect on what has happened up to this point and what is yet to come.

On Holy Saturday, we learn once more how to wait well.