confession

Things I Love 50: The Last Farewell

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

island hammock

“Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift” (Albert Einstein).

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself” (Tecumseh).

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness” (John Keats).

“Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

This is the last one. But as C.S. Lewis wrote in The Last Battle, the the end of history was not the end; history itself is but the title page and preface, and after that begins the real story which goes on for ever and where each chapter is better than the previous one. That’s how it is with joy. There really is no end to joy and its gifts for those with thankful hearts and wide-open eyes.

1,551) The good tired feeling after mowing the lawn.

1,552) Hugs from my grandmother.

1,553) Great music from Coldplay and Radiohead.

1,554) Freshly clipped toe nails.

1,555) How perfectly cold water quenches my thirst.

1,556) The Living Water than never runs dry and never leaves me thirsty ever.

1,557) People who “get” me.

1,558) The freedom that comes with forgiveness.

1,559) Finding out that being broke doesn’t mean the end of life as I know it.

1,560) My friend Wendy who is just a facebook message away at all times.

1,561) That post-shower feeling.

1,562) “God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, Before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains. Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us” (Psalm 46:1,MSG).

1,563) Jesus’ promise of rest to those who are weary and exhausted.

1,564) God making me and loving me just the way I am.

1,565) Catfish and hush puppies, all fried.

1,566) Relaxing in a jacuzzi.

1,567) Liking me for me and being good with being a nice guy.

1,568) Knowing when to hold ’em, knowing when to fold ’em (like Kenny Rogers sang).

1,569) My very sleepy yet very comforting feline therapist yet again at her job.

1,570) iCloud automatically transferring pictures from my iPhone to my iPad and my iLaptop (just kidding, it’s a Sony Vaio).

1.571) How much better typing out one of these lists makes me feel.

1,572) My dad’s goofy but totally lovable dog, Molly.

1,573) My goofy and random sense of humor.

1,574) My impressive t-shirt collection.

1,575) People who wait until they are married before living together (which is so rare these days).

1,576) Planning up a Delilah playlist of cheesy love songs on my iPhone.

1,577) The safe recovery of that 16-year old girl Hannah who had been kidnapped.

1,578) All news stories that have happy endings.

1,579) Friendly neighbors.

1,580) Credence Clearwater Revival.

1,581) The photo frame option on my iPad that turns it into . . .wait for it. . . one of those electronic photo frames.

1,582) Stepping out of a muggy summer day into air conditioning.

1,583) People who not only speak their faith but live it out.

1,584)  The car KITT from the old TV show Knight Rider.

1,585) Seeing pictures of healthy newborns from friends and family on Facebook.

1,586) Taking a spoonful of local honey that’s supposedly good for my allergies but so good to me.

1,587) That girl’s smile in the picture that I used for one of my blogs. I’ll probably never see her again but I won’t ever forget that smile.

1,588) John Mayer’s lyrics.

1,589) Checking out the newest smart-phones in the stores (even though I’m perfectly content with my iPhone 5).

1,590) Looking forward to my next coffee and conversation outing.

1,591) Knowing all my family and friends are safe and sound for the night.

1,592) Real and authentic conversations about life and faith.

1,593) Having all my needs supplied out of God’s glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

1,594) Perfect love casting out fear.

1,595) That Jesus isn’t safe, but He’s good.

1,596) One day going overseas on a mission trip.

1,597) Having no regrets about following Jesus.

1,598) “For to me life is Christ, and death is gain” (Phil. 1:21).

1,599) Having many local coffee spots to check out in the next few months.

1,600) Every second I’ve spend writing these lists over the last couple of months.

I hope these lists have inspired you to start list of your own where you name those things you’re thankful for that you love. Not necessarily the monumental or earth-shaking things, but even the tiniest of things that make you smile or make your day a little brighter. It has been so much fun writing these and I thank you for reading them. God bless.

Facing Your Fear

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

high dive hannah

I have an embarrassing confession. Well, it may not seem so embarrassing to you, but it was to me. At least until today.

I had never jumped off a diving board into the deep end of a swimming pool.

There. It’s out there.

I had always stayed near the shallow end of the pool. Ever since a few traumatic (at least to me) experiences with swimming and diving boards, I had a fear of the deep end of the pool.

I distinctly remember being in a group of kids who were in some kind of class or something where we learned to swim. The one part I didn’t like was where the lady instructor wanted us to jump off the diving board into the deep end. I wasn’t having any part of that.

I remember my way of getting back at her was deliberately peeing in her pool. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but it did to my 8-year old mind.

Today for the first time, I dove off the diving board. It wasn’t a gold medal dive. Or silver. Not even aluminum. It probably wasn’t even a dive even in the loosest sense of the word. But I went from the diving board into the pool. That’s gotta count for something.

What are you afraid of? Is it a conversation you’ve put off having? Is it asking that girl (or guy) out on a date? Is it taking a risk on a new career or a new city?

It may be as simple as trying new foods or diving into swimming pools. All I know is that there is great freedom in facing your fear head on and finding out it wasn’t nearly so big and bad as you had always thought.

That’s the way with fear. All bark and no bite. All talk and no game. Fear is a lie, pure and simple, that the perfect love of Jesus drives out every single time.

Fear has no place alongside of faith in a believer. And I don’t mean how much you believe in Jesus as much as how much He believes in you and roots for you and fights for you and intercedes for you.

I don’t know why I was ever afraid. I’m sure that lady would have caught me when I dove in. I’m just as sure that whenever I take a leap of faith in any situation, I will either learn to fly or fall into the loving arms of my Abba Father.

As Ann Voskamp said, “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.”

And the love of a Father for His children knows no end. Period.

 

Confession Session #3,908: Friendships And All That Other Stuff

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the best at relationships, especially friendships. I tend to either be overwhelmingly friendly or awkward. I think most people have a low Greg-tolerance and after they’ve reached that limit, they have to go home and wash their hair or feed the dog.

I know I overstay my welcome in certain conversations and the other person finally has to go home, put on some Barry Manilow, and lie down for a while. FYI: you can tell me in a nice way to shut up and go away if you need to.

I think I’ve lost a few friendships through being too weird or too goofy or too me. And some relationships have simply run their course and they have served God’s purpose in my life (and hopefully, the reverse).

In the past, I might have obsessed over those and wondered what I could have done differently. I might even have made a fool of myself trying to extend a friendship beyond its natural life.

After all that, I confess that I’m much better than I used to be. I try not to talk so fast and to not always talk about me. I’m learning to listen and not always be thinking about my next response. I’m growing in grace.

Jesus truly has been the friend that’s closer than a brother and he’s teaching me how to be a better friend. A better prayer warrior. A better empathizer. And hopefully, one day, a better husband and father.

So, I’m asking for grace from you. And I’m trying to give it in those moments when you need it. All the best relationships are based on grace and forgiveness and second chances and do-overs.

I believe that what goes around comes around. I also believe that the way you treat others indicates your love for God. People who love God and are secure in God’s love for them can’t help but be loving and forgiving and generous in their relationships.

I know a little of me goes a long way sometimes, so I’ll try not to overstay my welcome. And I’ll give you space when you need a break from me, ’cause there are times I need a break from me (said jokingly).

May we each be Jesus to each other and help each other as we all try to figure out this crazy life business. We really do need each other.

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 5 Comments

I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?

 

The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

Downton Abbey, Or Why I Fell for All The Hype

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

DowntonAbbey

I didn’t know what to make of the show Downton Abbey. At first, I kept thinking it was Downtown Abbey, which sounded like one of those murder-mystery series featuring a crime-solving nun (who would also happen to have quite the British wit about her).

But I borrowed the first two seasons from a friend and now I’m hooked. It’s a little like all those period films like Howard’s End and Gosford Park, but the storyline is unique. And Maggie Smith is completely fantastic as always.

My favorite part is when Bates throws his leg brace into the lake. He had been going about his business, grimacing a lot and telling the others that he was perfectly fine. He was not.

I wonder how many times I’ve done that, carrying around a lot of secret pain and guilt and telling everyone who asked, “Oh, I’m fine.”

Or maybe it’s a secret struggle that you carry around. One that you’re sure you’re the only one who’s ever had to wrestle with. It could be a shameful mistake you can’t forgive yourself over. It could be words better left unspoken (or maybe words left unspoken that you wish you’d said).

The best part is that you don’t have to carry this load alone. You can find others who understand and share your burdens. Best of all, God already knows what you’re trying to hide. He’s known it all along. And that thunderbolt of judgment hasn’t struck you yet.

Confession really is good for the soul. I don’t mean blabbing your troubles to a stranger on the street. I do mean finding a good trusted friend and letting him or her know what you’re going through. I do mean being honest to God in prayer about it all.

I love the saying that goes something like this: “Griefs shared are divided, while joys shared are multiplied.”

May you find this to be true for you in the days to come.

 

Spontaneous, Joyful Uncertainty and Expectancy

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, is that almost nothing ever turns out according to my expectations. No conversation ever goes like I planned it in my head, no holiday plays out quite like I planned, and no day ever seems to be what I thought it would be.

I think my only expectations from 2013 are of God. Specifically, I expect him to show up in 2013. How? I have no idea. I only know that when I need him most, he’ll be there.

I’ve had unexpected relationships that I never saw coming. I’ve had friendships with people I never thought would even talk to me. I’ve also had friends move on and seemingly drop off the planet (or at least off my radar). For those of you who have moved on to the next phase of life, the friendship is still on and always will be. Count on it.

That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. I think this year I have to prepared and ready for whatever God brings. As one of my favorite lines from a movie goes, I have to have my fields ready to receive the rain when it comes.

I know that whenever God has shown up in my life, it has never been exactly in the way that I expected, but it has always been better. It has never been when I expected, but it has always been at the perfect moment when I needed him most. God’s gifts to me haven’t been what I asked for; many times, they’ve what I needed and longed for but didn’t know it.

I know that whatever I go through in 2013, God is good. I know whatever the day turns out to be, God is faithful. And I expect that to be the same in 2014 and beyond.

The Broken-Hearted God

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Things I’m thankful for

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

If you’ve been keeping up with my facebook posts, this might be a bit of a re-run for you. At least most of it.

I’ve compiled an extensive list of things I’m thankful for, some frivolous, some serious, some in-between. You be the judge. I’m thankful

1) For orange tic-tacs (ever since I saw the movie Juno).

2) For unending and unfailing grace.

3) For the tortilla soup at Chuy’s that I can’t get enough of.

4) For God’s track-record of faithfulness, especially in the times when I’ve been faithless.

5) For chai frappachinos from Starbucks with caramel drizzle (and cinnamon sprinkled on top as an added bonus).

6) For friends who have stood by me when others might have given up and written me off as a lost cause.

7) For coconut water, because once you’ve tried it, you’re hooked.

8) For new mercies every morning.

9) Chocolate in all its wonderful and glorious forms– and yes, I am aware that today is National Milk Chocolate Day.

10) The day Jesus rescued me.

11) That it’s currently not 111 degrees outside. And for air-conditioning inside.

12) That one day God will make everything right again and turn the world right-side up.

13) For spam in a can, ’cause it’s brilliant.

14) That I’m not who I was and I’m not yet who I will be.

15) That every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings (attaboy, Clarence!)

16) That every time I fall down or fail big, I get a second chance and a clean slate.

17) For the chicken cobb avocado salad at Panera Bread on Old Hickory Blvd in front of Target.

18) For every single word of encouragement or blessing or edification or correction spoken over me by family and friends. You didn’t realize it, but God was speaking through you to me to make me more like Jesus.

I could think of about a 1,000 more reasons to be thankful, but I’ll save those for future blogs. When you live with eyes and heart and hands wide open, you can’t help but be grateful and thankful all the time. You can’t help but see blessings everywhere.

So what are you thankful for?