I’m Feeling a Bit Sheepish

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Sheep are stupid. I know, I know. You look at a lamb and think, “Isn’t that the cutest and cuddliest thing ever?” But really sheep are helpless and defenseless without a shepherd. Yet Jesus calls His believers sheep, not to be insulting but to remind us of who we are.

Most of us (especially in this time) look at children and see innocence. We at times tend to idolize and adore children almost to the point of worship. But have you ever seen a sick child refuse to take the medicine that might make him well? Maybe you’ve been that child at some point. Or maybe you’ve seen a child engage in behavior that will lead to injury because he won’t listen to the parent that tells him not to do that.

Jesus calls attention to little children. True, He wants us to have the unwavering faith of a child, but He also wants us to see that we’re completely dependent on a loving Father who sometimes makes choices we don’t like but end up being way better for us in the end than what we would have chosen.

The point is that we’re all fallen creatures who live with the consequences of Adam and Eve’s bad choices (hey, they both messed up and are equally to blame). We’ve ALL sinned and ALL fallen short of the glory of God.

I think Jesus wants us to remember who we are. We’re frail, fallible human beings who need a Savior, even after we’re saved. We will never not need Jesus.

There’s a great book that I read a long time ago that really delves into Psalm 23 from a shepherd’s point of view. It’s by Philip Kellor and is called A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm. I highly recommend it.

So remember that you’re not perfect. You’re not the be-all, end-all. But also remember that you do bear the image of God, even in the midst of all your flaws and failures.

What Do Almost 14-Year Old Cats Do?

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In case you were absolutely dying to know what my cat Lucy does all day, it’s not overly complicated. Basically, she sleeps all day.

When I say she sleeps around, I’m not saying anything about her morals. I’m saying she literally sleeps in different places throughout the day. Don’t get me wrong. She has her favorite nap spots that she likes to go back to, like we humans have favorite vacation destinations or restaurants.

To say she takes cat naps is a misnomer. She takes people naps. She takes power marathon naps. Actually, she does the opposite of a cat nap in that she is awake for 15 minutes, give or take, and asleep the rest of the time.

I suppose when you’re a cat and you’re almost 14, you get to sleep a lot.

I do get annoyed at how easily she falls asleep, especially when I’m dealing with my periodic episodes of insomnia. I wish I could lay my head on the pillow and be instantly out.

Now you know a little more about Lucy the Wonder Cat. She is very companionable and can be very affectionate at times. She’s also good blog material when I can’t think of anything else to write about. Like tonight.

Random Factoids About Me

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As part of a new discipleship class I am taking at my church, I had to come up with three little known facts about myself. Side note: if you’ve never actually written yours down, I recommend it. It’s fascinating.

1) I have my Masters of Divinity, making me a seminary graduate and officially overeducated and underemployed. But I am proud of my accomplishment and don’t regret a single moment of it.

2) I can whistle and hum at the same time. Demonstrations are available upon request.

3) I am mostly right-handed, but I write left-handed and eat ambidextrously. I likes my food.

4) I am an Eagle Scout. I managed to earn this award one month before I turned 18, which is the age deadline. Yes, I am extremely proud of it.

5) I am owned by one elderly cat who likes to curl up in my lap and hang around me whenever I’m home. Ok, so that’s fairly common knowledge. My little known fact is that I like both cats AND dogs. Why should I have to pick one or the other?

6) I have never broken any bones in my body to this point. I thought I had broken my pinky when I got hit by a car in December 2012, but it was only dislocated.

7) I write a blog every day and have done so since July of 2010. Then again, if you’re reading this, you probably already knew that.

8) I am the beloved of my Abba and He is still very much fond of me after all these years. I haven’t even come close to fathoming how deep and wide and high and long that love is or why it should exist for me. I only know that it does. I also know that He loves you the same way all the time.

There are more that I am probably forgetting. I may come back later and add one or two more as they come to mind or as I am reminded by family members who read this.

10 Years Later

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In all the hoopla of gift-giving and gift-getting (not forgetting all the food-eating and dessert-eating), I almost forgot a very important anniversary.

It was 10 years to the day on December 24 that my beloved cat, Lucy, came home again after getting out and having an adventure. A very un-Hobbitlike adventure.

She somehow managed to get out and get lost on December 22. All the frantic searching in the world on the next day produced nothing. I vividly remember being distraught and very emotional. I had all but given up hope of ever seeing her again.

We had put up flyers all over the neighborhood. These flyers had her name, age, description, approximate weight, and a black-and-white photo. Apparently, on December 24, the mailman recognized the picture and informed us that she was taking up residence in a neighbor’s garage down the street.

I can imagine her trotting up to a strange lady and saying something like, “I’ve lost my family. Will you be my family?” Of course, this isn’t Narnia, so she wouldn’t actually say these things, but it would all be implied by her meowings.

Apparently, she got rained on a bit, got her nose scraped a bit, and had a few traumatic events, but came out of it the same old weird, goofy cat she’d always been.

I got her back on Christmas Eve. That remains my best gift.

She’s had a few other adventures since then, including a cancer scare which she thankfully survived.

Thinking back on the whole thing, I’m reminded that for those who want to come home, there’s always a way. Even more so with God.

No one who wants to find God, earnestly and truly, and know Him will be denied. All who seek Him in truth find Him and find at the same time that really He was the one seeking them. He was the one pursuing them and wooing them. The only way we ever find and love God is that He first finds and loves us.

And that goes for all the prodigals out there. The Father still waits and looks down the road for those who want to come home. Better than that, He already knows where you are and is whispering the way home to your heart. There is always a way back and a way home.

My reward is that I’ve gotten 10 years of feline therapy and free cat-scans. Your reward for seeking God isn’t as much the gifts and blessings from God, but God Himself. That’s still the best part.

Things I Love 49: Waited On a Line of Greens and Blues

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“How long does it take for your soul to recognize that your life is full? The slower the living, the greater the sense of fullness and satisfaction. The body and soul can synchronize” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

One important part of learning to living out of eucharisteo is to recognize not every moment will feel like joy. There will be relapses into old ways of thinking– of fear and anger and the need to control and manipulate. It’s okay. Just don’t stay there. Center your mind on the little things you love that make you grateful. Make a list of them. Maybe don’t be quite as OCD as me and list 1,420 (and counting) things, but start small and make a list of 20-25.

1,521) Remembering that no failure is final.

1,522) Chocolate moose tracks ice cream from Purity.

1,523) Little pleasant surprises like getting off work 30 minutes early.

1,524) Finding a retail store called Ragamuffin Shoppe (which turned out to be a children’s clothing store) located off of Cool Springs Blvd.

1,525) Giving one of my blog cards to the person who worked there.

1,526) Walking all the way to the intersection of Cool Springs Blvd and Frazier Drive (even though it was hot and muggy and I sweated like the pig that’s about to be Christmas Day dinner).

1,527) The video I posted today of a cat in a shark costume riding on one of those roomba thingys.

1,528) Not being ashamed to use the word “thingy” when talking about something electronic or mechanical.

1,529) Getting to sleep in tomorrow morning.

1,530) Not having any of those 4-hours-of-sleep kinds of nights lately.

1,531) “God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

1,532) The little Snickers frozen ice cream bars.

1,533) Finding out about a book called 14,000 Things to be Happy About from my cousin and one of my favorite people ever, Rachel Johnson.

1,528) My cat Lucy giving me high fives.

1,529) My little Casio portable TV (even though it doesn’t work currently).

1,530) The song “To Be With You” by Mr. Big that brings back memories every time I hear it.

1,531) God’s mighty saving arm that is both strong and long enough to reach me.

1,532) The perfectly ripe banana I had today.

1,533) The video I just posted on Facebook of a 20-month old girl singing along with Elvis’ “An American Trilogy.”

1,534) The peace and quiet at 11:30 pm on a Friday night.

1,535) Not having any plans or money or gas in my car this weekend.

1,536) Not having to work this Saturday.

1,537) Being at peace at the moment.

1,538) Accepting what is, letting go of what was, and having faith in what can be (and knowing God is in all three places still).

1,539) The way Foursquare listed my workplace as Affionion Group.

1,540) The freedom that comes with not caring about appearing foolish in the eyes of others.

1,541) Getting the inside joke for once.

1,542) When other people get my obscure movie and TV show references.

1,543) Having enough of these things I love for 49 (and still counting) posts.

1,544) Not having a sinus headache today.

1,545) Eating at seafood places just for the halibut (you’ll get it if you read it out loud really fast).

1,546) All those cat emoticons on Facebook Messenger.

1,547) Those strong arms of my Abba holding on to me tightly tonight.

1,548) Reading the Bible on the YouVersion app on my iPad 2.

1,549) The dream of owning the Complete Series of Friends on blu ray one day.

1,550) Obviously being a night owl (as I type this at 12:12 am).

Things I Love 43: It Is Well With My Soul

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“Instead of filling with expectations, the joy-filled expect nothing–and are filled” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“When we lay the soil of our hard lives opened the rain of grace and let Joy permeate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? for us? The clouds open when we mouth thanks” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

At another Kairos Night of Worship, I was reminded of just how much in control and how good God is. Even when prayers seem to go unanswered or don’t get answered the way we wanted. Even when life wounds us by loss and pain. Only when the seed is wrecked can new life emerge and the resurrection take place.

1,331) A night of singing old hymns with some very creative arrangements.

1,332) The rhythmic pattern of rain hitting my bedroom window at night.

1,333) Pictures of big dogs and little cats being friends with each other.

1,334) My USAA car insurance.

1,335) Testimonies of how God brought transformation and healing out of deep sorrow and pain.

1,336) 900 people singing as one a Kairos.

1,337) Bananas, which were the only fruit I would eat for a long time.

1,338) The lack of 100+ temps so far this summer.

1,339) Not having to worry about drought conditions this year.

1,340) That God doesn’t just love good little children. He loves even the ones who can’t seem to get their acts together.

1,341) Not being in a legalistic church.

1,342) FInally getting the time zone thing right on my WordPress settings after only 3 years of blogging.

1,343) Appreciating people who think differently than me, i.e. left-brained, logical, liberal, etc.

1,344) How laser printers are so much quieter than the old dot matrix.

1,345) Remembering that life is more of a marathon than a sprint.

1,346) Jumping in the occasional puddle of rain water.

1,347) Browsing (and not stalking) other peoples’ facebook pages.

1,348) The No Crop app that lets me post full pictures on instagram.

1,349) Being reminded of truths through friends’ facebook posts.

1,350) No more pop quizzes ever.

1,351) Being able to cheer and be happy when my friends find their true loves and get married.

1,352) Family and friends who keep encouraging me to keep believing that I will find my own true love.

1,353) Knowing that a chicken coop only has two doors because four would make it a chicken sedan.

1,354) That my 18-year old car still works and runs good.

1,355) Sending Facebook birthday greetings.

1,356) Boxers. No more whitey tightys.

1,357) Getting the room cool so the bed feels extra warm.

1,358) My own unique brand of logic.

1,359) Me.

1,360) The way God sees me as I am, loves me as I could be, treats me like I will be, and is making me more like Jesus.

Things I Love 38: Pilates? Heck No! I Thought You Said Pie and Lattes!

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“Remembering with thanks is what causes us to trust – to really believe” (Ann Voskamp).

“God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors. And I’ve an inkling that there are times when we need to drive a long, long distance, before we can look back and see God’s back in the rearview mirror. Maybe sometimes about as far as heaven — that kind of distance” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“We’re called to do more than believe in God, we’re called to live in God” (Ann Voskamp).

Thanksgiving really does alter your perspective. During those times when you’re in between jobs and your bank account wouldn’t cover a Starbucks latte, it’s easy to focus on what’s lacking. But eucharisteo reminds you that really even in those times you’re truly blessed if you can only see with the eyes of your heart instead of your physical eyes. Blessings are always ready to be found by those with grateful hearts and God-centered minds. So with that, I pick up at #1,141.

1,141) Finding stray money in the pockets of my jeans and shorts.

1,142) Funny cat videos.

1,143) That there really is a fountain filled with blood where all my sins are washed away.

1,144) Being completely comfortable with interstate driving.

1,145) No humidity in the fall.

1,146) People who still practice common courtesy and good manners.

1,147) A dentist visit with no cavities.

1,148) Reading the books my favorite writers read (like reading Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton because he was one of C.S. Lewis’ favorite authors).

1,149) Watching and reading about the new birth in the British royal family.

1,150) When I wake up and roll over to see that it’s only 2 am and I have 5 more hours of sleep.

1,151) Knowing that my best day this side of heaven won’t even touch my worst day in heaven. And yes, I know in heaven they’ll all be good days.

1,152) Eating and shopping locally at non-chain establishments.

1,153) The occasional Taco Bell meal.

1,154) The way my friend Sara has faithfully greeted at Kairos and is now transitioning to being an 11:11 greeter.

1,155) Having a short-haired cat who always looks well-groomed.

1,156) That my mother finally got her new car.

1,157) Hugs from friends and family.

1,158) Those rare times when I mention something I love twice in these lists (which must mean I really love it).

1,159) Setting out on a road trip with good books and good music.

1,160)  My old teddy bear that I’ve had since I was 10.

1,161) Really comfy oversized couches.

1,162) Seeing my friend from Orlando (who always makes me smile) at Kairos tonight.

1,163) Amy Winehouse’s amazing voice.

1,164) Wireless broadband internet.

1,165) The way my GPS pronounces Briley Parkway as “Brilley.”

1,166) Seeing photos of my friends and family on vacation via Facebook and Instagram.

1,167) Remembering the way the breeze off the ocean feels at twilight.

1,168) Finding books I’ve always wanted to read in the clearance section of a bookstore.

1,169) That I’ve had 21 views on my blogs today (and while that’s nowhere near a record, it means people are still reading what I write).

1,170) Making it to level 51 on Candy Crush Saga.

1,171) Remembering when technology was much bigger and heavier and slower and more expensive (and how it’s now smaller and lighter and faster and . . . well, not as expensive).

1,172) Night lights.

1,173) Not stubbing my toe on furniture in the dark at night.

1,174) Knowing that I’m not the most directionally-challenged person in the world.

1,175) People who have the gift of hospitality and practice it often.

Things I Love 36: Just Another Day

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“I am a hunter of beauty and I move slow and I keep the eyes wide, every fiber of every muscle sensing all wonder and this is the thrill of the hunt and I could be an expert on the life full, the beauty meat that lurks in every moment. . . . I hunger to taste life” (Ann Voskamp).

“All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends” (Ann Voskamp).

“‘Wherever you are, be all there.’ I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I’m sharing a little secret just between you and me and the internet. When I can’t think of anything else to write about, I’ll be going back to this well. My well of thanksgiving. It’s deep, so deep I can’t see the end of it and it never ever runs dry, no matter what the season or the weather. I can choose to ignore it or to replenish myself by going to it time and time again and drawing from the life-nourishing waters of gratitude and joy and (best of all) eucharisteo. So, I’m lowering my bucket slowly and starting at #1,071.

1,071)  Whenever I get to hear my friend Parker Bradley teach and impart his gift of biblical wisdom.

1,072) That while the devil knows my name but calls me by my sin, God knows my sin yet calls me by name (stolen from Pinterest).

1,073) Having new friends and new memories from this week’s VBS at Set Free.

1,074) My iPhone now has 850 songs on it and enough variety to drive a left-brained person batty.

1,075) Experiencing life through all five senses of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell.

1,076) Warm fleece blankets on a cold winter’s day.

1,077) The way my sister’s dog Ellie practically dances on her hind legs whenever she sees me.

1,078) Having said dog asleep in my lap as I write this list.

1,079) Being on level 47 in Candy Crush Saga.

1,080) Having Thursday nights set aside as my weekly downtown Franklin nights.

1,081) Finally finding my “lost” book of Emily Dickinson poetry.

1,082) The biopic on the life of St. Francis of Assisi called “Brother Sun, Sister Moon.”

1,083) Being able to visit my 88-year old grandmother in her assisted living apartment.

1,084) Appreciating a really expensive car like a Lamborghini but not wanting or feeling the need to own one.

1,085) That Christ is strongest when I’m at my weakest.

1,086) All 1,078 blogs that I’ve written in just over 3 years of blogging.

1,087) This, the 1,079th blog.

1,088) Not being defined by a job (or lack of one).

1,089) How my sister’s dog and my cat get along so well.

1,090) That new haircut feeling.

1,091) That the place where I get my haircut is right next door to a Starbucks.

1,092) Playing a game of Apples to Apples where the players don’t take it so literally and seriously.

1,093) Leftover pizza.

1,094) Another slow and calm Sunday afternoon.

1,095) Reading books like Foxes’ Book of Martyrs and seeing so many example of what people endured for and because of the love of Jesus.

1,096) Good fired-up black gospel preachin’!

1,097) Almost 2,000 years of believers leaving a legacy of love for me to follow.

1,098) Fortune cookies at Chinese restaurants.

1,099) Being able to get the weather forecast on my iPhone.

1,100) The New American Bible translation.

1,101) Adam and Ashley leading worship at the 11:11 service.

1,102) My well-disguised coffee concoctions with 20 percent coffee and the rest made up of creamer and sugar.

1,103) Trapper Keepers.

1,104) That there’s nothing and no person and no situation God can’t use for His glory and my good.

1,105) Being alive today.

Things I Love 32: Everything Will Be Fine in the End

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“The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the reading of stories, they survive fire” (Ann Voskamp).

“I don’t really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done-yesterday” (Ann Voskamp).

The way I figure it, I have only two of these left. Then again, I was never good at math. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be a rebel and add one extra just for the fun of it. Why stop at 1,000? Why stop at all? Gratitude means you never stop counting your blessings that you become aware of as you number them one by one. So that said, I start again at #936.

936) Making my triumphant return to swing dancing tonight at Centennial Park.

937) How anyone who has ever worked in a corporate environment can relate to the movie Office Space.

938) The Greek on the GO! Strawberry Granola Bites. You can’t have just one. Or at least I can’t.

939) Whenever my family gets together.

940) That I’m losing my mind and as long as I don’t lose the part that tells me when to pee, I’ll be just fine.

941) Reading The Horse and His Boy again for probably the 15th year in a row.

942) Having “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” as my new text and email alert on my iPhone.

943) Mild summer days with low humidity.

944) Having my only expectations be that God will keep all His promises to me.

945) The Dream of someone.

946) Using Inappropriately Captalized Letters At Random.

947) Having access to the Throne of Grace 24 hours 7 days a week.

948) Sometimes my only mode of transportation is a leap of faith (borrowed from a Facebook post).

949) That I don’t have to fire cannons to call attention to my shining; all I have to do is shine (from D. L. Moody).

950) Borrowing quotes and ideas from people on Facebook.

951) Being able to highlight verses in my YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone.

952) Having all my Christmas music on my laptop in case I ever feel the need for Christmas in July (or August).

953) Office chairs that swivel and spin.

954) Saturdays when it’s not raining.

955) Ditto for Sundays.

956) Not having been hit by any cars in the last 6 months.

957) Being alone and praying in Baskin Chapel at Brentwood Baptist Church.

958) Every time someone accepts my friend request on Facebook.

959) The way when I’m in a serious moment of silence and my stomach suddenly decides to do a spot-on impression of a whale’s mating call (borrowed this one from Pinterest).

960) That the walk of faith is not about seeing the whole journey but taking the next step.

961) That my hope isn’t in a President but a King.

962) Knowing the Kingdom of God is now and not yet.

963) Nerds candy.

964) Big League Chew bubble gum.

965) Meeting an Asian person who hates all Asian food (and thus busting another stereotype).

966) Asian food of just about any kind.

967) All George MacDonald’s fantasy stories.

968) How much I can relate to John Cusack’s characters in just about every one of his movies.

969) Living in the moment and finding God there.

970) My friend at Ultimate Frisbee who looks like Amanda Seyfried and who always makes me smile.

Things I Love 21: This Blog Series Is Old Enough To Drink (If It Weren’t a Baptist Blog)

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“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust” (Ann Voskamp).

My list continues at #551.

551) Going back to swing dancing at Centennial Park on July 13.

552) Conversations with people of different faith-traditions where we both learn something new.

553) Embracing my own uniqueness instead of giving in to the pressure around me to fit in.

554) When I finally realized that the song “Father Abraham” was about the Abraham from the Bible and NOT Abraham Lincoln.

555) The joke about what a vegan zombie craves– “Graaaaaaains!”

556) That true belief is active and results in actions– works if you will. It’s not mental assent; it’s putting hands and feet on faith and living it out every single day.

557) That defining what truth is and is not is not up to me.

558) Getting coupons for free Chick-fil-A sandwiches.

559) The random way my brain works and how it makes all my conversations extremely unpredictable yet very interesting.

560) God being so much bigger than my fears and doubts and questions.

561) Knowing that my eternal security doesn’t depend on my skill at playing Candy Crush Saga.

562) Knowing my ultimate hope isn’t in a president or a republic, but a King and a Kingdom.

563) Half-priced shakes from Sonic.

564) The thought of never having to take another math class as long as I live.

565) The movie That Thing You Do!

566) The conversation I had at Best Buy with Jamie (who I will probably never see again) where I completely lost track of time.

567) Chihuahuas that fit into tea cups.

568) Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (is that how the song goes?)

569) The perfect cup of Earl Grey tea.

570) Capturing a magical moment in a photograph.

571) Running through a sprinkler just I used to to when I was little.

572) The uncomplicated faith of a child.

573) Fireworks on the 4th of July.

574) My friend Lara getting married (and me getting an invitation to her wedding to see a prayer of mine getting answered before my very eyes).

575) That I still have 6 months to finish my goal of watching all of the 9 nominees for 2012’s Best Picture Academy Award.

576) Never having to watch Life of Pi ever again– once was definitely enough.

577) Hugs.

578) Every single cartoon featuring that loveable dog named Droopy.

579) How a faithful pet can actually lower your blood pressure and reduce stress.

580) Hearing my cat Lucy snore.

581) Making peace with the past– all of it.

582) Cool Hand Luke– because it is such a great film.

583) Truly worshipping in spirit and in truth.

584) Government square pizzas like they used to have when I was in grade school.

585) All of the people who follow this blog faithfully.