For When You Can’t Sleep

Right about now, I wish I were a cat. I look at my cat, who hops on the bed and curls up on the pillow next to mine and is asleep the moment she lays her little head down. Meanwhile, I am still tossing and turning, wide awake.

I’ve learned a few lessons from a lifetime of difficulty getting to sleep.

I know that at night every worry and fear gets magnified beyond any reasonable doubt. The normal worries of finding the right person turn into “I’ll never get married and will die alone.” The normal anxieties of career transition turn into “I won’t ever get a job because there’s nothing I’m good at.”

The trick is to recognize these lies for what they are and to realize that you don’t think as clearly when you’re tired. That’s why it’s always a good idea to put in a good night’s sleep before you make a major decision that will drastically affect your life.

I don’t have any answers to how to overcome the inability to sleep. He says as he is typing this at 12:40 am.

I know in the past, I’ve used the time to pray over what’s troubling me that won’t let me sleep. Sometimes, I get up and try to find some mindless TV to help relax me. I’ve even gone old school and tried warm milk (though it doesn’t work too well when you overheat the milk and burn your mouth).

I think in a way it’s a good thing I can’t sleep sometimes. It helps me realize that sleep is not a given or an entitlement. It is a gift from God, just like every other good thing in life. So maybe instead of counting sheep, count your blessings instead (as the old song says). Instead of looking at what you’re missing out on, look at all you have.

My Ideal Idea

This is my fantasy that has nothing whatsoever to do with reality, so indulge me. I’d love to live in downtown Franklin. I realize that the monthly rent on one of the apartments on Main Street is more than my car is worth and the houses are probably in the 7-figure range, but one can dream, right?

I’d be able to take a late night stroll down Main Street whenever I felt like it. I wouldn’t have to worry about fighting the nightmarish traffic during one of the festivals, ’cause I’d already be there. I’d just have to walk down a flight of stairs or out my front door.

By the way, this fantasy involves me coming into a large sum of money via either the lottery or some distant rich relative who dies and leaves all his vast wealth to me. While we’re talking realistically, that is.

There’s a stone house with a red door that I could see myself living in if the apartment thing doesn’t work out. It looks quaint and cozy and should probably come with a lifetime supply of earl gray tea and fuzzy bunny slippers.

And if this dream does happen to come true, you are all invited to visit me in my new setting. Just not all at the same time because of limited parking.

PS I am accepting donations toward making this dream come true. You can give cash or checks, but no credit cards (at least not yet). Your gifts will be greatly appreciated and you will get first dibs on visiting me in my new pad.

 

The Perfect Album

eastmountainsouth

For those who stay up late at night wondering what my all-time favorite album is (yes, both of you), here is my answer.

It’s the self-titled (or eponymous) debut of a group called eastmountainsouth.

I discovered this album 10 years ago when I was entranced by one of their songs, You Dance, and knew I immediately had to rush off to amazon.com to buy the CD. No digital downloads for me on this one. I had to have a physical copy in my hands.

Honestly, in the opinion of this humble yet musically-astute blogger (said in jest), this is the perfect album. The vocals are flawless, the production is immaculate, the arrangements are just right, no more and no less. Even the sequencing of songs is perfect.

To this day, I compare all albums to this one. In my mind, a really good album is one that makes me feel the way this one did the first time I heard it. An album that reminds me why I love music so much.

As far as I know, this is the only album from eastmountainsouth. I can’t imagine why they didn’t have a massive breakout like The Civil Wars. I guess the timing wasn’t right and the world wasn’t ready.

It almost feels like my own little secret that I’m finally sharing with the world. I know that I’m not the only one who loves this album and wishes there could have been more. But then again, maybe the idea of more albums would take away from the uniqueness of this one.

I doubt you’ll find it at Best Buy or Barnes and Noble. To my knowledge, the only place where you can buy it is still amazon.com. And yes, that is a shameless plug and an order. You will thank me later.

 

The Art of the Mix Tape

mixtape

The art of creating a perfect mix tape is becoming more and more of a lost art. With the advent of iPods and digital music downloads, it’s easy to rip all of your music on to one device and set it on random.

But to sit down and agonizingly pick the right songs and put them in the right order to create a mood is not as easy as it sounds. Whether it’s for a road trip or for a special someone or for falling asleep or just for sitting alone in the dark, there’s a science and an art to creating a mix tape (or CD, if you will).

You can mess up a mix cassette tape and record over it (but after a few times, you lose the audio quality). With burning a CD, you have to get it right the first time.

mixtape2

Anyone can put together a collection of all the top songs of any given time period. But to select songs that define a part of your life is a completely different matter. They have to be songs that evoke tangible feelings and memories that take you back to a specific time and place and conjur up details of where you were and what you were doing when you first heard that song.

mixcd

About 10 years ago, I created my own collection of mix CDs based off a radio station I was listening to at the time. It was one of the first independent/alternative-to-the-normal-top-40 stations I had ever heard and I was instantly smitten. I got introduced to groups like The BoDeans, Susan Tedeschi, Iris DeMent, Cowboy Junkies, Wilco, and many more artists that I had never heard of before. My musical trajectory was forever altered during that year.

mixtape3

I can still listen to those CDs and remember what I felt when I first heard those songs, my hopes and dreams and aspirations. I wouldn’t call them perfect by any means, but they serve to encapsulate a time in my life.

If you need guidance on how to put together a mix tape, I suggest watching the movie High Fidelity. Also, movies like Juno, Elizabethtown, and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist have soundtracks that might suggest ideas for what songs to put in a mix tape.

Just have fun with it and try not to over-analyze it too much. Go with what feels right. Also, let me know what songs you put into your mix tapes and CDs. Who knows? I might be inclined to make one for myself.

Taking Your Medicine

My niece was not having a good day. She’s teething and has a cold, among other things. My sister was trying to get her to take the medicine that would make her feel better and not be in as much pain, but she wanted no part of it.

It would be easy for me to scoff at a 17-month old who is refusing what is obviously good for her. But then I have to ask myself how many  times I’ve done the same thing.

I don’t mean when I was growing up and adamantly refused to take my cough medicine (namely, because it tasted like cherry-flavored death in a bottle). I mean now when I don’t want the disciplines from God that will make me more like Jesus and less like that selfish sinner I used to be.

I want every day to be sunny, but without constant sunshine without the occasional rainy days leads to a desert. If I never have bad days or days that don’t make sense, then I don’t appreciate the really good days.

I’m sure God looks at me like I looked at my niece today, smiling and shaking his head. He knows what’s best for me. I only think I do. I only see a limited part of the picture. He sees it all.

I think the lesson for me is to be thankful when things don’t go the way I wanted them to. I can’t count the times I look back at my life, grateful that I didn’t get some of the things I asked for and desperately wanted at the time, because I didn’t know what I wanted or how to ask for it. And most of the time I still don’t.

The story has a happy ending. Once my niece settled down and took her medicine, she felt a lot better. Once I stop fighting God and demanding my own way and finally agree to his way, I often feel a lot better. I have a peace that only comes with acceptance and surrender.

Now if I could figure a way to get my cat to take her medicine.

 

Lost and Found 2: The Non-Sequel

I call it Lost and Found 2, not because it has anything to do with the my previous blog called Lost and Found, but because I couldn’t very well have two blogs with the same name, could I? And on a random note, I just finished watching the movie Brave, so I’m hearing a Scottish accent in my head as I’m typing all this.

When I volunteered at the Youth Evangelism Conference, I and all the other volunteers stayed at the downtown Doubletree hotel, courtesy of the Tennessee Baptist Convention. It was quite lovely. But somehow in my hurry to get dressed the next morning, I left one of my favorite t-shirts on the bathroom floor.

I didn’t catch the oversight until I got home. I was very tempted to give the shirt up as lost. I mean after all, it’s only a t-shirt, right? But I really liked this t-shirt. So I called the hotel and got transferred to the lost and found department. Or technically, to the answering machine of the lost and found department. Twice.

Any normal, non-OCD person might have given up by this point. But as I have mentioned many times before in many various settings, I am not a normal person. The OCD part is debatable.

I was going to be in downtown Nashville in the middle of a very wintery day today anyway for some other non-exciting event. So I thought, “Why not? What will it hurt to drop by the hotel and ask in person?”

It turns out the third time’s a charm. They did have my t-shirt, which I am now wearing, and everybody lived happily ever after. Except for those who had to go out into the bitterly cold weather.

The moral of this tale is to not give up, even when what you’re looking for seems hopelessly lost. Like maybe a lost coin. Or a missing sheep. Or maybe even a prodigal son. As someone said before, Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking. Don’t give up. By the way. that someone just so happens to be Jesus, so I’d do what he says.

Remember that you were once lost, too, and Jesus found you. He didn’t give up on you, and even though you might not have thought yourself worth the time and effort, he did. He didn’t (and won’t) give until he’s found you and rescued you and brought you all the way home.

That t-shirt that I went to all the trouble to find? It’s an Elvis Presley t-shirt from Goodwill. And yeah, it was completely worth the effort.

For When You Feel Like Giving Up

image

Maybe you’ve felt like giving up lately. Maybe you’ve been so discouraged and disillusioned that the prospect of another day sounds daunting and the idea of giving up sounds appealing. Instead of going out there and fighting, it would be so much easier to stay home and pop bon-bons while watching daytime TV.

Maybe you feel like things will never get better, that the way things are now is the best they will ever get. Maybe your faith is at a low ebb and your motivation is slipping. It seems like nothing you do makes anything better, so why try? Even prayer seems mechanical rather than heartfelt and you feel like the biggest phony when you pray.

Keep praying. Even if it’s nothing more than reciting the Lord’s Prayer or repeating a simple phrase like “Abba Father” over and over, keep praying. Keep getting out of bed and getting out there and believing in better days.

God has a way of putting the right people into your life at just the right moment. God has a way of speaking comfort and encouragement from his Word or from random conversations with friends.

It’s easy to give up, but it’s harder to live with the regret of what might have been had you kept on trying. The Bible speaks about how trying circumstances and challenges build endurance, which builds character, which leads to a hope that doesn’t disappoint. That’s from what I like to call the GJV version of the Bible.

My prayer for you is that you keep putting one foot in front of the other and as you do, you find the next step a little easier than the last. My prayer is that you find unexpected blessing and encouragement when you need it most. My prayer is that you will take what you learn in these dark times and share it with someone else who is going through the same thing.

Don’t give up. God is faithful and he will get you through it.

Victorian With a Twist

Charlotte Markham

I know. It sounds like a cocktail gone horribly wrong. It would be. But for a novel, it fits together quite well.

I’m talking about the book, Charlotte Markham and the House of Darkling by Michael Boccacino. If Emily Bronte and Tim Burton had a secret love child, it would be this book, a sort of Jane Eyre meets Beetlejuice. Needless to say, I loved it.

The atmosphere starts off gothic and gets weirder from there. I was immediately captured from the very first sentence and could hardly put the book down until I read the very last sentence. I could very easily see this book turned into a motion picture directed by the above-mentioned Tim Burton (or some other director with an eccentric and unorthodox flair).

I won’t give away any of the plot surprises other than to say that the novel starts off with a newly-hired governess to a man recently widowed and his two sons. Then there’s a horrible, unexplainable murder. And it gets better from there.

If you loved the book Johnathan Strange & Mr Norell by Susanna Clarke or any of the fantasy writings by George MacDonald or C.S. Lewis, (another amazing Victorian/fantasy blend), you’ll love this as well. If you don’t care to have your perfect Victorian world sullied by the supernatural and otherworldly, then I’d advise you to skip this one.

It took me approximately two years and two days to read it. Two years to think about buying the book and then deciding to put it on my birthday wish-list and once I had it in my hands, two days to actually read it. It would have been less if I hadn’t had to bother with trivial things like eating and sleeping.

All that to say this: check out the book. You’ll like it. I’ve saved you the trouble and put the link to the amazon page on here, so you have no more excuses. Now go and buy it.

My Big Ugly Audacious Movie Goal for the Rest of 2013

I found a list of all the Oscar-winning movies and, to my surprise, I’ve seen quite a few of them. In fact, I’d say I’ve seen roughly about half of the movies that have won at least one Academy Award.

My goal for the rest of 2013 and beyond is to see the other half. Well, there maybe one or two that I’ll skip for personal reasons, but I will watch the vast majority of them.

last_emperor

First on my list is The Last Emporer from way back in 1987. I don’t know much of anything about this particular film, other than it’s old and long and won 9 Oscars, including Best Picture.

gandhi

Second on the list is yet another lengthy film, Gandhi, from 1982. It also won Best Picture, as well as Best Actor for Ben Kingsley and 6 others (bringing its grand total to 8, for those too lazy to do the math).

cabaret

The final movie on the initial list is Cabaret from 1972 (a year which also produced me, though I have yet to be nominated for anything in any category). It also won 8 Oscars, but lost out to The Godfather for Best Picture.

I’ll keep you updated on the other award-winning movies that I watch in the near future, as well as what I think about the 2013 Best Picture nominees, which I have only seen 1 and have 8 more to go.

On a semi-related side note, I finally got around to watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which won all the major Oscar categories. That means I have seen all three movies that swept the major Oscar awards, i.e. Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Acress, Best Original/Adapted Screenplay, and Best Director. It’s not something to put on a resume and it doesn’t make me a better person, but it does give me a sort of warm fuzzy feeling, and that’s got to count for something.

As always, I’d love to hear what old movies you’ve seen and recommend. Even if it came nowhere close to getting nominated for an Academy Award. Even if it got nominated for a Razzie (the award bestowed on the worst movies in any given year). I wanna know.

The Wild Weekend of YEC

I’m tired. It’s been a hectic, crazy 48 hours, but it has been so much more than worth it. I volunteered again for the Youth Evangelism Conference at the Municipal Auditorium in downtown Nashville. The atmosphere was electric, with close to 10,000 students and adults in attendance, anticipating what God was going to do next.

Well, God didn’t disappoint. I saw lots of students going forward, making decisions for Christ, not just being satisfied with playing religious games but willing to give everything to follow Christ.

One thing I remember from the weekend was the speaker talking from Jeremiah how God boiled down his people’s rebellion into two things: forsaking the fountain of living water and trying to quench their thirst from broken wells. They gave up the living water to drink mud.

The solution to my struggles and your struggles isn’t to try harder or to be more committed. The issue isn’t about effort. It’s about appetite. What are we feeding on? Is it everything the world says will fulfull us? Those things may taste good at first, but they leave us unsatisfied and still hungry and thirsty.

Or are we seeking after Living Water and the Bread of Life? For me, am I cultivating a good appetite for God and letting him fill me up so that I’m too full for anything else?

The answer is to feast on Christ. Let him be enough. Let him be your strength, your power, your supply, your joy, your reason for living. Anything else that you devote your life to or prize highly is an idol. Anything other than Jesus that tells you that it will take care of you no matter what is an idol.

I’m sure that I heard this somewhere else, so I can’t take credit for it. How do you defeat an idol? You starve it. You don’t give it any time or a affection. Instead, you give all that to God who deserves it in the first place.

I went to serve and be a blessing and once again found myself blessed and served. I was challenged and motivated to hunger and thirst after God more than ever before.

I hope that’s your desire, too.