Questions I Have Asked Myself (From May 31, 2010)

I wrote this over three years ago when I was in a bit of a different place emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Some of these questions I have had answered and some I am still awaiting the answers for. Some are just goofy.

“Why am I so goofy?

Why can’t I stop overanalysing and simply trust God based on the thousand times He’s come through for me?

Why is it so hard to arrange to have a good sit-down conversation with a girl? I’m not asking for her hand in marriage, just two friends talking. So what’s the hangup?

Why can’t I be content most of the time (when the rare times I am content are so fulfilling)?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Am I the only one who thinks that American Christians (me included) are incredibly shallow, materialistic and not very committed to the Christ whose name we bear?

Why am I so self-righteous when I see how messed-up I could be without the grace of God?

What ever happened to people who keep their word and honor promises, even when it costs them something?

Are red lights optional now?

Why am I so very concerned about what others think and not nearly as concerned with what God thinks about me or other people?

Why do Kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?

Is Hollywood getting dumber or just running out of ideas?

Will anyone actually read this post?

Will God ever give up on me or stop loving me? Hint: the answer is NO!”

What Has Come And Gone in 1,229 Days

I started my blog on July 25, 2010. That’s 1,229 days ago. And yes, I looked both of those up.

This is my 1,221st blog in 1,229 days. Not bad, eh?

A few things in my life have come and gone in that 3 1/2 year span:

I retired from Farmville. I’m not cut out to raise or grow anything, whether it be real or Facebook.

I’ve started two medications, one of which I am still taking and the other I am in the process of looking at a different drug. Exciting, I know.

Lucy got 3 years older. And fluffier. And lazier.

I quit drinking carbonated beverages in April of 2012. No looking back there.

Somethings are still what they were waaaaay back in 2010:

I still volunteer to be a greeter at Kairos at Brentwood Baptist Church on Tuesdays at 7 pm. I also still shamelessly plug Kairos.

I still love being in downtown Franklin whenever possible and visiting my favorite spots there.

I am still as much in need of grace today as I was then. Maybe I see more my need of it more now but I needed it just as much then, even when I thought I could do fine without it.

I still love a good line from a movie, a good phrase from a song, and good imagery from a book. And I still like real, tangible books you can hold in your hands and smell the binding and feel the pages on your fingers as you turn them.

God is still good, life is still great, and I am still way more blessed than I deserve to be.

Technology Rocks (Or Why I Love My iPad 3)

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Recently, I have made strides in my technological awareness and hipsterness. And by recently, I mean the last two years.

First came the Sony Vaio, which narrowly defeated the MacBook Pro as my choice of laptop. And I do mean narrowly. Ultimately, the Vaio was cheaper.

Then came the iPhone 5. I thought about other choices like droids and Windows phones, but for me it wasn’t much of a contest. Most people I know who have smart phones have iPhones and just about all the ones who have iPhones love them. Case closed.

The iPad 3 came into my hands unexpectedly. I wanted to downsize and simplify my life, so I went through and picked out LOTS of DVDs and CDs to trade in at McKays. I received enough credit to get the 64 GB iPad 3 they had on display.

Actually, I had enough total credit to get two iPads. The first one, an iPad 2, I ended up giving to mother dearest, and the second one I am typing this on.

I’ve decided that my next laptop will in no uncertain terms be a Mac. I think me and Windows have irreconcilable differences and it’s best that we part ways.

I do think that as great and wonderful as technology is, it can (and should) never replace face-to-face conversations. I think we are losing the ability to be in community and to have meaningful relationships due to our unhealthy obsession with all things social media and smart phones and tablets.

It’s not uncommon to ignore the person in front of you to chat with someone via text. Social media might not have killed common courtesy and manners, but it has paved the slippery slope toward that end.

You can have up to 5,000 friends on Facebook and almost as many followers on Twitter and Instagram. The result? We take people and relationships for granted and treat friendships casually and cavalierly.

We’ve even bought into the insidious lie that you can be friends with everyone. You can be friendly with everyone, but if you want actual relationships with even the tiniest bit of depth and meaning, you have to choose a handful of lives to invest in.

I’m glad when I needed help God didn’t send a text or a tweet. He didn’t post on my Facebook wall or poke me. He sent His real-life, flesh-and-blood, one-of-a-kind Son. He took on my skin and walked around in my shoes.

Yeah, I need to put down my devices more and be in the moment. To look people in the eye and smile and say hi. In an age where communication has never been more prevalent and available, people are more lonely than ever before.

But I still want my Mac.

Pre-WordPress Writings Part 5

An poem I wrote back in the day

18 March 2010

 
The Prodigal is You 
 
How tragic is the mess I made 
And I no better than a slave 
Yet to me the world You gave 
The Prodigal is You 
 
How blessed just to be the one 
For whom the Father-King would run 
To kiss my cheek and call me, “Son” 
The Prodigal is You 

You wore the robe that I defiled 
And gave Your own to this mean child 
Your love carried me all the while 
The Prodigal is You 

No more fear

29 March 2010

 

I have a confession to make. Well, another confession. I have been afraid for most of my adult life. I have lived in fear, which is not really living at all, but existing. Passing time. Waiting it out. I have not taken chances. I have played it safe. I have taken the road well-traveled and regretted every single time not taking that other road. I have been nice and timid and ignored, and I deserved to be ignored, because I was boring. 

I am so done with fear. Do you hear me world? Do you hear me, Satan? I refuse to let fear dictate anymore who I am and what I do. I refuse to sit quietly when I should take a stand. I will take chances, because the old motto says “Those who risk, win.” I will learn to live my life to the fullest and be willing to fall on my face a few times. 

Those of you who knew me a month ago, that is not me anymore. I am so done with that life. This is me now, standing bodly and proclaiming that MY GOD HAS LOVED ME PERFECTLY AND THAT PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR!!!!!

You Know My Name

12 March 2010

 

When I am alone and nobody seems to care, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am ignored in a crowd, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am screaming inside with a smile on my face, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I have one more step left in me before I quit, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I have all that I want and am still empty, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I forget You and walk away from Your promises, 
Lord, You know my name. 
When I am in heaven and see You waiting for me there, 
Lord, You know my name. 
For it is written in stone and on Your heart.

The Continuing Saga of the Quest for the Ultimate Tacky Christmas Sweater

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As you faithful followers of my blogs may know, I have been on an all-consuming quest for THE ultimate tacky Christmas sweater. First, I need to define what a TCS (my lazy way of typing Tacky Christmas Sweater) IS and IS NOT.

It IS tacky. As in obnoxious. As in ugly. As in no normal person would ever wear it out in public unless en route to an Ugly/Tacky Christmas Sweater Party.

It IS NOT merely cute or festive. After all, the idea is not for a cute Christmas sweater. It needs to look like something Great Aunt Judy would wear. The same Great Aunt Judy who collects cats and jello molds and has a mustache.

I have found a Christmas sweater. It doesn’t fit my definition of tacky, i.e. lights up and makes festive sounds, but it will do if nothing else better turns up. It does have penguins on it, which makes it moderately tacky. But not enough to win any major awards.

So the quest continues. It is not for the faint of heart or weak of bladder. Only the stalwart and adventurous need apply.

And I am still accepting TCS donations. Remember, I wear a size L.

Ohhhhhhhh, Fudge– Yet Another Monday Morning in Perspective

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This was one of those kind of Monday mornings that make you want to say, “Ohhhh, fudge.” At least it did for me. And yes, I mean the kind of fudge like in the movie A Christmas Story.

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I was happily rolling along. . . well, at 5:30 am, it was more like sleepily rolling along to work. Then I looked up. It was either an 18-wheeler or large bus coming toward me, hugging the yellow lines. So I did what any red-blooded male would do.

I panicked.

I went to give the behemoth vehicle a wide berth and went too wide. My tires hit the edge of the pavement. It sounded like the whole side of my car was being shredded.

I managed to get to the side of the road. I was expecting to see gory car wreck carnage. Thankfully, all I saw was one fatally punctured tire.

I called AAA because I am mechanically challenged even when it comes to changing a tire. In my defense, those lug-nuts were on that wheel tight.

What was supposed to take 45 minutes or less took almost 1 1/2 hours. So I was late to work.

But after that, it got better. And I have to keep a few things in mind:

I’m sooo glad I had my AAA road service paid up.

I’m thankful I have a car to almost (but thankfully not) wreck.

I’m blessed to have a job to go to even if it occasionally starts at 6 am.

I’m grateful for a very understanding boss.

Most of all, I’m thankful every day that I don’t get what I deserve. I get grace instead.

PS  don’t suppose cussing in your head merits having to wash your mouth out with soap, right?

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Pre-WordPress Writings Part 4

God forgive me for being nice

God, forgive me for being nice and polite and when I should have been taking risks and living. Forgive me for trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and not being me. Forgive me that I am just beginning to learn who that person is. Forgive me for thinking I had to beg people to like me and earn their approval. Forgive me for trying to define myself by what some girl or some group or some status, but not believing that You defined me and said that I was good. No. More than good. I am your masterpiece. Forgive me that I am going to check to see if anyone read this note and if they liked it. If no one reads it but me and you, it was worth it. If anyone had any doubts before, this will set the record straight. I am a broken man who has found grace in Jesus and wants the world to know that He can take broken lives and make them whole again. I am no longer a nice guy. I am a godly man. I am a warrior. My Abba is very fond of me!

This note is for people who will never read it (got your attention now?)

My greatest fear is that if people ever really find out who I am and what I am like, they will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. That I am not good enough. That I do not have what it takes.

So I live to please others. I become whoever I think they want me to be. I strive constantly to prove myself to others, so they can tell me who I am. That I do have what it takes. I feel that if I can make them like me, then I am worthy and not a cosmic *$#-up.

But I can’t make anyone like me or be interested in me. I can only let God love me and let that Love define me. If I let people tell me who I am and define me, they will get it wrong. If I make pleasing people my purpose, they will fail me every single time.

Lord, you are telling me that I am someone beautiful who has meaning and is worthy. I am good enough and I do have what it takes because I have you. I believe what You say about me. Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief.

 

Advent Time Is Here

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I’m a total and complete geek when it comes to all things Christmas. I love gaudy decorations (the gaudier the better), sentimental Christmas movies, old-school Christmas music, and all those seasonal drinks like egg nog and peppermint mocha and all things pumpkin spice.

A few years back, I discovered about Advent. I always thought it was a creepy Catholic thing (not that I’m saying there’s anything more creepy about Catholics than about Baptists).

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I bought a really nice edition of The Book of Common Prayer and started reading the collects related to the four Sundays of Advent. I found a great Advent devotional called The Christ of Christmas by Calvin Miller, with devotionals for the 31 days of December.

I love the idea behind the five Advent candles, starting with the candle of hope, or the Prophecy Candle. I love the imagery of the verses from Isaiah 11 that go with it:

“But a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, A spirit of counsel and of strength, a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the Lord, and his delight shall be the fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:1-3 NABRE).”

I recently heard Ann Voskamp talk about the imagery here. New life coming from death, the rotting stump of a broken life. Out of the wreckage comes a hope and a future. Out of the smoldering ruins of my dashed hopes and crushed dreams comes a new hope growing in the very spot where those hopes and dreams perished.

Week two is all about preparation, the Bethlehem Candle. Will I choose to make my heart a Bethlehem to receive the coming infant King? Will I be ready to find Him when He arrives not in the pomp and splendor of a throne but in a dirty trough that animals feed in?

Did I mention how much I love Advent? I’m still figuring out how to fully savor these four weeks not get caught up in that “one more present, one more party” mentality.

Look for Part Two coming one week from tonight. Until then, feel free to partake in some pumpkin spice egg nog.

One Weird Weekend

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Forgive me if I’m having trouble remembering what day it is. Let me explain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up. (A shiny nickel to the first person to correctly guess what movie I just referenced).

I worked Wednesday. Tracking so far?

I had Thursday off, since it was Thanksgiving aka Turkey Day aka National Food Coma Day.

I had Friday off, because it’s Black Friday aka National Recovery from Yesterday’s Food Coma Day.

I worked today.

I’m off tomorrow.

Where am I? Who am I? What year is it?

Ok, it’s not quite that bad yet. I know it’s still 2013 for another 31 days. I know there are 24 shopping days until Christmas.

Sometimes, we all lose our way. We forget who we are and why we’re here. We forget that it’s about more than just you and me in our tiny well-ordered lives.

As Rick Warren most famously said, it’s not about you. It never has been. It has been, is, and will always be all about God. But God has invited you and me to be a part of what He’s doing. We get to be conduits of blessing that bring Him glory.

I forget who I am. I forget Whose I am: I am the Beloved of my Abba, the one in whom He is well pleased.

I forget why I’m here. And my purpose is this: “Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. This is God’s will for all of you in Jesus the Anointed” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

To celebrate God’s goodness. To pray without ceasing. To give thanks in everything. That is God’s will for me. Yeah, it’s that simple.

I needed that reminder. I hope you did, too. And it is Saturday, FYI.

A Frosty December Night in Franklin

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I was having Downtown Franklin withdrawals, so I decided to remedy that in the only way I know how– make a trek to all my favorite places and see all my favorite people.

I started off by visiting McCreary’s Irish Pub, where I ran into three of my favorite people– Art, Ashley, and Cassie. Plus, the food there ain’t too shabby. If you ever want to go there, ask me what to get– I’ve been there enough times and tried just about everything on the menu. Better yet, you could invite me and I could introduce you to all the awesome people who work there.

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My next stop was . . . you guessed it . . .  Frothy Monkey. I know, I know. I’ve gotten into a rut when it comes to Franklin. But it is such a tasty rut. A tasty and comfortable rut.

I had a hot chocolate that was as closed to heavenly as you can get on this side of heaven. And that’s no lie. And not much of an exaggeration.

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I got treated to another organ concert at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Well, it was the organ dude practicing what I assumed would be the music for next Sunday. I sat down, took off my coat, took some deep cleansing breaths, and listened. I think God speaks through music as much as through anything else and He was speaking to me tonight.

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I’ll hopefully be back to my regular Thursday visits and definitely want to experience the Christmas Parade on December 7 and A Dickens of a Christmas on either December 14 or 15 (or possibly both).

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I have to be at work at 6 am, so I suppose I should wrap this up. But not before I leave you with this cutesy picture of my cat curled up in a Christmas wreath.

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