friendship

Things I Love 11: Top That, Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees

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I now have passed into legendary status in this series. Not even movie slashers Freddy Krueger or Jason Vorhees had more than nine sequels (even counting the one they were in together, which I consider cheating). That goes to show that there are really way more good things than bad things out there if you only look hard enough and with the right set of eyes.

That being said, we’ll kick off this list at #239:

239) Driving home after a good night of community group with music playing loud and absolutely no idea of where you are (and not caring).

240) Vegetables off the grill.

241) Giving myself permission to vent, to go a little crazy, and to be in the moment, no matter how painful it may be.

242) That whenever Lucy my cat hears my car coming up the driveway, she goes to the front door and waits for me.

243) On nights like this, gratitude for not having a night shift job.

244) That I’m not (nor will I ever be) married to any of the Kardashians.

245) Authentic conversations with friends at 10 pm.

246) That God only needs the tiniest place to start in my life to do something amazing.

247) That unexpected two-hour nap on a Sunday afternoon when I only meant to lie down and rest my eyes for a second.

248) Knowing that God’s “no”s always mean a much bigger “yes” down the road.

249) Singing to the very top of my lungs with the song playing on my car radio and not caring if I sound scary.

250) Finding the freedom to forgive myself for being myself.

251) In those moments when I can truly love being me.

252) Those spontaneous Saturday nights in downtown Franklin (like the one I’m planning for tomorrow).

253) People who refuse to give up on me even when they should.

254) Finding the perfect card for someone’s birthday.

255) Knowing that my Abba rejoices over me, sings over me, and dances with joy over me.

256) The almost-euphoric feeling after I realize that a bad headache is gone.

257) Jennifer Anniston.

258) The clean smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

259) Not having to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

260) That I’m already 1/4 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love/am grateful for/receive as gifts from God.

261) Chocolate Cheerios.

262) Eating dessert first.

263) Eating dessert as a meal.

Look for the next installment, cleverly entitled Things I Love 12, sometime tomorrow.

The Real Dirt on Relationships

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No, this isn’t another one of those blogs on dating. Yeah, I know the typical cliche topic whenever you go to a singles group or Young Adult Bible Study is dating, relationships, and– the holy grail of all singles– marriage.

This is not one of those.

“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. Don’t bother reserving a space for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”

I know we’re all busy. We have lives and jobs. Some of us have marriages and kids. Some of us have pets. We all have a plethora of activities and groups and social events we’re a part of. There’s still only 24 hours in a day and that’s not going to change any time soon.

But the harsh truth is this: if someone means something to you, you will find time for them. If you can’t (or won’t) find time for them, it means that they don’t matter. You may tell them they matter, but if your actions speak otherwise, that’s what the person will hear. Actions do speak far louder than words.

If someone doesn’t respond to your texts or posts, the same thing applies. I understand that you might not have time to reply in that instant, but if you care about the other person at all, you will find the time to respond. Even if it’s just “I got your text” or “Thanks, but no thanks” is better than nothing at all. To not respond at all is perceived as ignoring the person, and as we all know, my or your perception may not be reality, but it’s all we have to go on.

You do have to learn to let those people go who won’t make the effort to be a part of your life. And making an effort means making or finding time. Always. Embrace those who stick with you through your moments of temporary insanity, through when you’re not as easy to be around. Those are rare gems that don’t come along every day.

I should add that not every single relationship will be like this. Some healthy relationships involve people who won’t see or hear from each other for a long time, but when the two get together, it’s like no time at all has passed. My advice is to always in every relationship give the other person grace and the benefit of the doubt.

As I’ve said before, you can’t be friends with everyone. At least not in the sense of investing in people and cultivating meaningful relationships with them. You will either have many shallow relationships or fewer but deeper friendships that last.

Most of all, hold all of your relationships with an open hand and a surrendered heart. God will put some people in your lives for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years. Sometimes, you only get one conversation. Sometimes, you get years of companionship. Don’t try to hold onto someone God has only put into your life for a short time.

That’s all I have for tonight, just some things that have been ruminating in the old noggin of mine for quite some time.

Things I Love 10: I’m Not Even Close to Being Done With This

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Everybody sing with me,”This is the list that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends.”

As we come to part X of my list of things I love, it does seem like it will never end. But trust me, it will. We may both be in our 80’s by then, but I will finish this list one day.
So continuing with #214:

214) People who actually respond back to my texts and posts.

215) Fridays.

216) When my cat wakes me up in the middle of the night by jumping on my bed and purring loudly in deep contentment.

217) Old Warner Brothers cartoons.

218) When I remember someone’s name after only meeting them once.

219) The corned beef and cabbage at McCreary’s Irish Pub.

220) That with God all my past sins are forgiven and forgotten.

221) Reconciliation of relationships.

222) My grandmother’s banana pudding.

223) Answered prayer.

224) Seeing the amazing transformative power of God at work in my life and in the lives around me.

225) Cheesy 80’s movies.

226) The good feeling from being in shape physically.

227) Remembering a good dream.

228) Finding money I didn’t know I had in the pockets of clothes I haven’t worn in a while.

229) Being in the know.

230) Singing along with a good song on the radio.

231) Trying new foods at new restaurants.

232) That Jesus knows my name and always knows where I am.

233) A good, thick biography. The thicker the better.

234) Alan Thicke. Why not?

235) Hearing an old song I had forgotten about and having long-buried memories that go with it come back to mind.

236) Coma-inducing Southern sweet tea.

237) When I know for sure God is speaking to me and I am still enough to listen.

238) Randomly bursting into song in public for no good reason.

I’d love to hear some of the little things that bring you joy. I might even stealborrow them for future Things I Love blogs.

Things I Love 9: This Series Is Getting Completely Redonkulous

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I apologize for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the next installment of this series. Both of you.

I got off track in more ways than one, but now I continue this seemingly neverending series with #192.

192) A cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.

193) Any time I get free food, even if it’s just a free dreamcone from Chick-fil-A (one of the perks of having the app foursquare on my iPhone!)

194) Knowing that even if the worst case scenario actually comes to pass, God’s taking care of me and everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

195) The absolute magic of Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers.

196) Homemade bread.

197) Sweet potato french fries (I recommend Pucketts or The Pharmacy).

198) Knowing my family and friends are praying for me as I write this.

199) Being able to pray the prayer that never fails– Your will be done– and sincerely mean it.

200) Being okay after having my heart broken in a very failed attempt to take a friendship to the next level.

201) That the best things in life really are free.

202) GPS for those like me who are directionally-impaired.

203) Ice cold water on a hot day.

204) Unexpectedly seeing old friends at Kairos.

205) Having peace even in the midst of spectacularly blowing a friendship to smithereens.

206) When technology works like its supposed to.

207) Getting all green lights on my way to church.

208) That I am an heir with Christ and no longer a slave to fear but now possess a spirit of adoption and can cry, “Abba, Daddy” to the God and Maker of the Universe.

209) That low sexy voice you get when ever you have a cold or hay fever.

210) Hearing a favorite song at just the right moment.

211) The effortless artistry of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice.

212) That God hears my feeble prayers– and even my sighs and groans when I don’t have the words.

213) That God can use messes like Moses, Abraham, David, Peter, and (most amazing of all) me.

Things I Love 8: Greg’s Sanity Has Left the Building

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FYI: these blogs will continue until I get to 1,000 things I love. It’s from the book, One Thousand Gifts, so I’m trying to list out– wait for it– 1,000 little things that I believe are God’s gifts to me and daily reminders that stir me to gratitude and thanksgiving as a lifestyle. Plus, I don’t have to worry about what I will be blogging on until at least July of 2014. Just kidding. Sort of.

Ok. Here goes the list, starting at #168. Drum roll, please.

168) Looking through old photo albums and reliving those old memories and remembering people who’ve been gone from my life for a while (and thinking they’re looking down from heaven and smiling at those photos, too).

169) My extremely loud Hawaiian shirt, which one random teenager called “sick.” I guess that’s a compliment. I’m not really sure.

170) Everything related to either Narnia and Wardrobes or Middle Earth and Hobbits.

171) Surprise birthday parties (hint, hint, subtle subliminal suggestion. . . cough).

172) Celebrating Easter and remembering that the Resurrection changed EVERYTHING. Including me.

173) That Jesus would have chosen the nails and the cross and the agony if only for me alone.

174) By Jesus loving me unconditionally and prodigally, he made me loveable.

175) Silent movies.

176) Box hockey (and the fact that I know what box hockey is).

177) All my high school reunions where I see old friends and get to catch up after 10 (or 20) years apart.

178) That I get to be a small part of Kairos, a worship gathering for young adults, every week and I see God at work there every single week.

179) Being content in my relationships and not obsessively wondering where they might or might not be headed,

180) Knowing that if the absolute worst case scenario should happen, I would still be loved by Jesus and God would still work even that out for my good and his glory.

181) How randomly my brain works these days.

182) The vast array of autumn colors from the leaves changing and falling.

183) Doing small random acts of kindness for people when they least expect it.

184) Any positive news stories (because they are sadly the exception and not the rule).

185) That I’m down to 715 more things to be thankful for.

186) Now it’s only 714.

187) That I’m not what everyone else thinks I am or even what I think of myself, but only what Jesus says I am– Chosen, Redeemed, Beloved, Child of God, Forgiven, Free, etc.

188) That Jesus won’t ever stop reminding me of my true identity and sending friends who will help me remember the song in my heart when I forget the words.

189) Lightning bugs at night in an open field.

190) Cheese grits made just right.

191) That I probably have at least 32 more of these blogs a-comin’ your way. But not in a row.

Things I Love 7: The Blog Series That Wouldn’t Die (Like Freddy Krueger)

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I realize that I’m getting ridiculous with this 7th installment of the blog series of things I’m thankful for, but I do really have so many things (most of them small and seemingly insignificant) that I love and am thankful for. This one starts with #146. And yes, I am that scatter-brained that every time I do one of these I have to look up the last one to see what numbers I ended with.

146) The people who read my blogs. Each and every one of you make me feel special.

147) That  even if I’ve completely blown it with a friend and the worst case scenario happens and she never wants to see me or talk to me ever again (which I hope is NOT the case), then my world won’t end and life will go on and I will be okay because God’s grace is still sufficient.

148) Running my favorite trail in Crockett Park.

149) Dog-sitting (or cat-sitting) for a friend or family member. And yes, I can be hired for a reasonable fee.

150) When I realize how truly blessed I am to be alive and healthy for another day and how many won’t ever get that privilege again.

151) When I can make people smile or laugh.

152) When I see the face of someone who really gets how much God truly does love them.

153) The salty smell of the ocean air when I’m near the beach.

154) Listening to my grandfather’s old pink tube radio and thinking that it’s the same one that kept him company in his workshop all those years.

155) When I am simply overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord.

156) The sun breaking through after several grey, rainy days in a row.

157) Whenever and wherever mercy triumphs over judgment.

158) The calming sound of a ceiling fan at night that helps me drift off to sleep.

159) Seeing answered prayers for those I’ve prayed for a long time.

160) When I fail family and friends and find grace and forgiveness rather than judgment and condemnation.

161) My old comfortable pair of sandals that have taken me to many places and adventures with good friends (and kept me from getting blisters).

162) Being able to look back on friendships that ended and remember the joy and good times instead of the hurt.

163) Mixing the creamy jalapeno ranch and the salsa at Chuy’s for the perfect dip for those amazing tortilla chips.

164) The chicken tortilla soup at Chuy’s (after those chips and dip).

165) The joy of sparking new conversations at restaurants and coffee shops with strangers who become later become friends.

166) That my Abba Father still delights in me, dances with joy, and sings me to sleep every single night.

167) Sitting still in the pre-Civil War St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in downtown Franklin and feeling the peace of Christ wash over me.

Contentment and Gratitude

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I’m learning lately how valuable contentment and gratitude are. This very consumeristic society may write off such virtues and this ever increasingly competitive world may look down on these attributes, but to me they are everything.

I’m in a friendship where I like the girl a great deal. I’m also in the place where I’m grateful to know her and very much content with the friendship. If it develops into more than friendship, that’s fantastic, but if not, I’m still blessed.

Gratitude and contentment bring rest. There’s not so much striving to get more and be more than the next guy. Comparison truly is the thief, not only of joy, but also peace.

So I’m in a good place. God is truly enough. If he says no, it only means he’s preparing me for an even bigger yes down the road. He denies me the good only because he desires to give me the very best.

So that’s where I am. Right now, I am loving being me, quirks and all. Everywhere I look the grace of God coloring all that I see. I see healing and freedom in places where only fear and bondage lived before. I see light where I couldn’t see anything before because of overwhelming darkness.

God is so very good. And it is true that eucharisteo, thanksgiving and joy expressed and poured out, always precedes the miracle.

I’m living out my miracle right now.

Things I Love 6: The Neverending Story of God’s Goodness to Me

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The list of things I love continues because daily I am reminded again and again of the goodness of God in his gifts to me everywhere I go. So I start again with #102.

123) Finally being comfortable in my own skin and having a lot of fun being me, quirks and all.

124) A lovely evening spent hitting the volleyball around and having life-changing conversations.

125) When a line from a song or a book jumps off the page at me and almost begs me to quote it on facebook.

126) Having air conditioning in my car on a really hot and muggy day.

127) The unpredictability of life itself.

128) That God’s ways are not my ways and his thoughts aren’t my thoughts. His ways and thoughts are so much bigger and grander and wilder and more beautiful than mine could ever hope to be.

129) That God still blows my mind to smithereens.

130) Good musicals starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman.

131) Anytime the good guy wins and the nice guy gets the girl.

132) That the righteous are never forsaken and God sees where I am and feels all of what I feel.

133) All the lights and decorations in and around Opryland Hotel during the holiday season.

134) Breakfast for dinner.

135) Eating dessert first.

136) An unexpected bargain find at a thrift store.

137) An absurdly long but captivatingly written biography of a life well lived.

138) Watching fireworks on the 4th of July.

139) Watching classic movies at the Franklin Theatre (where the price is always $5. Beat that, Carmike.

140) That God’s no really is paving the way for a much bigger and better yes to come.

141) The good tired I feel after a good run at Crockett Park.

142) Amazing grace that saved a wretch like me.

143) Those random songs that pop up in my head periodically and make my life a kind of musical.

144) A day rummaging through antique shops and used bookstores with lots of dusty old books.

145) That I’m not even close to bringing these blogs about things I love to a close. There are many more to come yet.

Things I Love 5: The Blog Series That Just Won’t Die

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I know I’m approaching slasher film status with my fifth blog in this series. Thankfully, this blog is 100% Jason- and Freddy Krueger-free. I’m keeping it strictly PG for the kids.

So let the list of things I love continue from where I left off at #102.

102) Seeing someone who really hurt me, albeit unintentionally, and being able to be friendly and cordial with her and realize that means that I am truly growing in grace.

103) The freedom that comes when you can finally admit that you were hurt and your world didn’t end.

104) Friends who you can vent to who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but will give you much-needed wisdom.

105) Good soul food by people who know how to cook it up right.

106) The dream of someone out there who will fall in love with me for me.

107) Those moments of unexpected and unexplainable joy.

108) The fact that I have enough things I love to make up five blogs’ worth of material (and counting).

109) That my parents are still married (which I now know is a rare blessing these days).

110) That I can step on my cat’s tail and/or on her foot and five minutes later she will still be in my lap, contentedly snoozing away.

111) The smell of apples (and the taste of a fresh Fuji apple).

112) Chocolate Cheerios (though I’m a bit peeved they weren’t around when I was growing up).

113) The new-found ability to start up a conversation with anyone at any time and realizing that people actually want to talk with me.

114) The amazing display of cheeses at The Fresh Market.

115) The book that inspired all these blogs– One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. One of my favorite books I’ve ever read.

116) Another day to be alive and blessed.

117) French Toast from The Pancake Pantry (but only the one in Gatlinburg).

118) Being in Gatlinburg and having a million happy childhood memories stirred up all over again.

119) Any movie where Fred Astaire dances with Ginger Rogers.

120) Being able to roll over and sleep for another hour.

121) The freedom of not having to try to be friends with everyone.

122) The fact that there will be at least one more of these blogs (and likely more after that).

Things I Love 4: The Slow and The Lackadaisical

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In case you didn’t get the title, it’s the opposite of those never-ending series of movies called The Fast and the Furious. I think we’re probably looking at at least 18 more of those, so gird your loins.

But I digress. Back to the list of things I love, starting at #81.

81) Spontaneously starting up conversations with strangers with small dogs at Starbucks. The best part is that we’re not strangers anymore, but friends.

82) Finding out I wasn’t the only one who struggled with that or felt that way.

83) Finally getting around to seeing a movie I missed years ago and finding out it was worth waiting to see.

84) Listening to Morgan Freeman’s voice (if he ever narrated a book on CD, I’d buy it, even if it was Intro to Trigonometry.

85) Finding out that U2 finally has a NEW album coming out later this year.

86) The elegance and beauty of Grace Kelly.

87) That the end of the Greatest Story Ever Told has already written and it’s has the best ending ever.

88) Or if you prefer, all of history is like the title page and table of contents, and after it ends is the real beginning of the Real Story in which every next chapter is better than the last and where you don’t want to ever put the book down.

89) The peace that comes with acceptance that a friendship is over and that it has served its purpose and best of all, being thankful for the time we had.

90) Every time I see the transformative power of the risen Christ in my life.

91) Believing in love again and especially believing that there really maybe someone out there who will want and desire me.

92) Being in a place at night where you can see the stars.

93) The smell of chlorine. I know it’s weird, but it takes me back to going to the Y as a kid.

94) The smell of bus exhaust. Again, it’s strange, but this time it takes me back to the days of marching band trips.

95) Watching fireflies and listening to a symphony of crickets on a slow country night.

96) Seeing a mother who isn’t preoccupied or busy or glued to her smart phone and is loving on her child and living in the moment.

97) Those little candies called Smarties.

98) That I really can taste the rainbow when I eat a Skittles.

99) Listening to my cat snore.

100) The good feeling I get after eating a really good Southern home-cooked meal.

101) That there will be more of these blogs because there are so many more little things that I love.