dreams

More for Those With Broken Hearts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I have something I’ve learned about having my heart broken a few times that I want to pass along to you. First of all, I want to say that okay to grieve when your love or interest in someone goes unrequited. It’s okay to hurt. I think it requires as much of a grieving process as losing a loved one, because you’re seeing the death of a dream that was very dear to your heart.

I think it’s okay to be brutally open and honest with God about the pain. He can take it. Besides, he already knows those feelings that you pretend aren’t there when you tell yourself that you’re fine.

That said, I think one good thing out of having your heart broken is that it is never again the same shape as it was, pre-break. It’s larger. And if you choose the path of healing versus the path of grudges and bitterness, good things can come out of the pain, such as these:

You have more room to love others and you have an increased sensitivity to those in pain around you who need your love.

You give more grace toward those who act out of their own hurt toward you because you remember when you did the same out of the great pain you were once in.

You have more compassion and tenderness in general because you know what it’s like to need it and find it so you want others to experience the same joy you did.

Finally, you become a little more like Jesus because you’ve shared in his sufferings. Jesus above all knows the pain of a broken heart, both physically and metaphorically. He’s the one who wept over Jerusalem because they wouldn’t come to him and find life and freedom. His heart was just as broken that day as when the spear pierced his side into his heart.

So remember that there is nothing broken that God can’t take and make beautiful. No, not just beautiful like it was before. It won’t ever be the same. It will be much, much better.

 

 

 

Things I Love 8: Greg’s Sanity Has Left the Building

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FYI: these blogs will continue until I get to 1,000 things I love. It’s from the book, One Thousand Gifts, so I’m trying to list out– wait for it– 1,000 little things that I believe are God’s gifts to me and daily reminders that stir me to gratitude and thanksgiving as a lifestyle. Plus, I don’t have to worry about what I will be blogging on until at least July of 2014. Just kidding. Sort of.

Ok. Here goes the list, starting at #168. Drum roll, please.

168) Looking through old photo albums and reliving those old memories and remembering people who’ve been gone from my life for a while (and thinking they’re looking down from heaven and smiling at those photos, too).

169) My extremely loud Hawaiian shirt, which one random teenager called “sick.” I guess that’s a compliment. I’m not really sure.

170) Everything related to either Narnia and Wardrobes or Middle Earth and Hobbits.

171) Surprise birthday parties (hint, hint, subtle subliminal suggestion. . . cough).

172) Celebrating Easter and remembering that the Resurrection changed EVERYTHING. Including me.

173) That Jesus would have chosen the nails and the cross and the agony if only for me alone.

174) By Jesus loving me unconditionally and prodigally, he made me loveable.

175) Silent movies.

176) Box hockey (and the fact that I know what box hockey is).

177) All my high school reunions where I see old friends and get to catch up after 10 (or 20) years apart.

178) That I get to be a small part of Kairos, a worship gathering for young adults, every week and I see God at work there every single week.

179) Being content in my relationships and not obsessively wondering where they might or might not be headed,

180) Knowing that if the absolute worst case scenario should happen, I would still be loved by Jesus and God would still work even that out for my good and his glory.

181) How randomly my brain works these days.

182) The vast array of autumn colors from the leaves changing and falling.

183) Doing small random acts of kindness for people when they least expect it.

184) Any positive news stories (because they are sadly the exception and not the rule).

185) That I’m down to 715 more things to be thankful for.

186) Now it’s only 714.

187) That I’m not what everyone else thinks I am or even what I think of myself, but only what Jesus says I am– Chosen, Redeemed, Beloved, Child of God, Forgiven, Free, etc.

188) That Jesus won’t ever stop reminding me of my true identity and sending friends who will help me remember the song in my heart when I forget the words.

189) Lightning bugs at night in an open field.

190) Cheese grits made just right.

191) That I probably have at least 32 more of these blogs a-comin’ your way. But not in a row.

Things I Love 7: The Blog Series That Wouldn’t Die (Like Freddy Krueger)

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I realize that I’m getting ridiculous with this 7th installment of the blog series of things I’m thankful for, but I do really have so many things (most of them small and seemingly insignificant) that I love and am thankful for. This one starts with #146. And yes, I am that scatter-brained that every time I do one of these I have to look up the last one to see what numbers I ended with.

146) The people who read my blogs. Each and every one of you make me feel special.

147) That  even if I’ve completely blown it with a friend and the worst case scenario happens and she never wants to see me or talk to me ever again (which I hope is NOT the case), then my world won’t end and life will go on and I will be okay because God’s grace is still sufficient.

148) Running my favorite trail in Crockett Park.

149) Dog-sitting (or cat-sitting) for a friend or family member. And yes, I can be hired for a reasonable fee.

150) When I realize how truly blessed I am to be alive and healthy for another day and how many won’t ever get that privilege again.

151) When I can make people smile or laugh.

152) When I see the face of someone who really gets how much God truly does love them.

153) The salty smell of the ocean air when I’m near the beach.

154) Listening to my grandfather’s old pink tube radio and thinking that it’s the same one that kept him company in his workshop all those years.

155) When I am simply overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord.

156) The sun breaking through after several grey, rainy days in a row.

157) Whenever and wherever mercy triumphs over judgment.

158) The calming sound of a ceiling fan at night that helps me drift off to sleep.

159) Seeing answered prayers for those I’ve prayed for a long time.

160) When I fail family and friends and find grace and forgiveness rather than judgment and condemnation.

161) My old comfortable pair of sandals that have taken me to many places and adventures with good friends (and kept me from getting blisters).

162) Being able to look back on friendships that ended and remember the joy and good times instead of the hurt.

163) Mixing the creamy jalapeno ranch and the salsa at Chuy’s for the perfect dip for those amazing tortilla chips.

164) The chicken tortilla soup at Chuy’s (after those chips and dip).

165) The joy of sparking new conversations at restaurants and coffee shops with strangers who become later become friends.

166) That my Abba Father still delights in me, dances with joy, and sings me to sleep every single night.

167) Sitting still in the pre-Civil War St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in downtown Franklin and feeling the peace of Christ wash over me.

Things I Love 6: The Neverending Story of God’s Goodness to Me

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The list of things I love continues because daily I am reminded again and again of the goodness of God in his gifts to me everywhere I go. So I start again with #102.

123) Finally being comfortable in my own skin and having a lot of fun being me, quirks and all.

124) A lovely evening spent hitting the volleyball around and having life-changing conversations.

125) When a line from a song or a book jumps off the page at me and almost begs me to quote it on facebook.

126) Having air conditioning in my car on a really hot and muggy day.

127) The unpredictability of life itself.

128) That God’s ways are not my ways and his thoughts aren’t my thoughts. His ways and thoughts are so much bigger and grander and wilder and more beautiful than mine could ever hope to be.

129) That God still blows my mind to smithereens.

130) Good musicals starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman.

131) Anytime the good guy wins and the nice guy gets the girl.

132) That the righteous are never forsaken and God sees where I am and feels all of what I feel.

133) All the lights and decorations in and around Opryland Hotel during the holiday season.

134) Breakfast for dinner.

135) Eating dessert first.

136) An unexpected bargain find at a thrift store.

137) An absurdly long but captivatingly written biography of a life well lived.

138) Watching fireworks on the 4th of July.

139) Watching classic movies at the Franklin Theatre (where the price is always $5. Beat that, Carmike.

140) That God’s no really is paving the way for a much bigger and better yes to come.

141) The good tired I feel after a good run at Crockett Park.

142) Amazing grace that saved a wretch like me.

143) Those random songs that pop up in my head periodically and make my life a kind of musical.

144) A day rummaging through antique shops and used bookstores with lots of dusty old books.

145) That I’m not even close to bringing these blogs about things I love to a close. There are many more to come yet.

Things I Love 5: The Blog Series That Just Won’t Die

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I know I’m approaching slasher film status with my fifth blog in this series. Thankfully, this blog is 100% Jason- and Freddy Krueger-free. I’m keeping it strictly PG for the kids.

So let the list of things I love continue from where I left off at #102.

102) Seeing someone who really hurt me, albeit unintentionally, and being able to be friendly and cordial with her and realize that means that I am truly growing in grace.

103) The freedom that comes when you can finally admit that you were hurt and your world didn’t end.

104) Friends who you can vent to who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but will give you much-needed wisdom.

105) Good soul food by people who know how to cook it up right.

106) The dream of someone out there who will fall in love with me for me.

107) Those moments of unexpected and unexplainable joy.

108) The fact that I have enough things I love to make up five blogs’ worth of material (and counting).

109) That my parents are still married (which I now know is a rare blessing these days).

110) That I can step on my cat’s tail and/or on her foot and five minutes later she will still be in my lap, contentedly snoozing away.

111) The smell of apples (and the taste of a fresh Fuji apple).

112) Chocolate Cheerios (though I’m a bit peeved they weren’t around when I was growing up).

113) The new-found ability to start up a conversation with anyone at any time and realizing that people actually want to talk with me.

114) The amazing display of cheeses at The Fresh Market.

115) The book that inspired all these blogs– One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. One of my favorite books I’ve ever read.

116) Another day to be alive and blessed.

117) French Toast from The Pancake Pantry (but only the one in Gatlinburg).

118) Being in Gatlinburg and having a million happy childhood memories stirred up all over again.

119) Any movie where Fred Astaire dances with Ginger Rogers.

120) Being able to roll over and sleep for another hour.

121) The freedom of not having to try to be friends with everyone.

122) The fact that there will be at least one more of these blogs (and likely more after that).

Things I Love 4: The Slow and The Lackadaisical

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In case you didn’t get the title, it’s the opposite of those never-ending series of movies called The Fast and the Furious. I think we’re probably looking at at least 18 more of those, so gird your loins.

But I digress. Back to the list of things I love, starting at #81.

81) Spontaneously starting up conversations with strangers with small dogs at Starbucks. The best part is that we’re not strangers anymore, but friends.

82) Finding out I wasn’t the only one who struggled with that or felt that way.

83) Finally getting around to seeing a movie I missed years ago and finding out it was worth waiting to see.

84) Listening to Morgan Freeman’s voice (if he ever narrated a book on CD, I’d buy it, even if it was Intro to Trigonometry.

85) Finding out that U2 finally has a NEW album coming out later this year.

86) The elegance and beauty of Grace Kelly.

87) That the end of the Greatest Story Ever Told has already written and it’s has the best ending ever.

88) Or if you prefer, all of history is like the title page and table of contents, and after it ends is the real beginning of the Real Story in which every next chapter is better than the last and where you don’t want to ever put the book down.

89) The peace that comes with acceptance that a friendship is over and that it has served its purpose and best of all, being thankful for the time we had.

90) Every time I see the transformative power of the risen Christ in my life.

91) Believing in love again and especially believing that there really maybe someone out there who will want and desire me.

92) Being in a place at night where you can see the stars.

93) The smell of chlorine. I know it’s weird, but it takes me back to going to the Y as a kid.

94) The smell of bus exhaust. Again, it’s strange, but this time it takes me back to the days of marching band trips.

95) Watching fireflies and listening to a symphony of crickets on a slow country night.

96) Seeing a mother who isn’t preoccupied or busy or glued to her smart phone and is loving on her child and living in the moment.

97) Those little candies called Smarties.

98) That I really can taste the rainbow when I eat a Skittles.

99) Listening to my cat snore.

100) The good feeling I get after eating a really good Southern home-cooked meal.

101) That there will be more of these blogs because there are so many more little things that I love.

Things I Love 3: The Trilogy of Terribly Named Blogs

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I continue with my list of things that I love, things that may not seem like such a big deal, but are present and daily reminders of the goodness of God in a thousand small ways. I will pick up where I left off with #57.

57) Not feeling the need to be friends with everyone so you can have deeper friendships that have more meaning.

58) When you hear a sermon that speaks directly to you and feels like it was written specifically for you.

59) All the black and white episodes of The Andy Griffith show.

60) A well-timed pun.

61) Finally being comfortable in my own skin.

62) Being able to laugh at my own goofiness and not be bothered by the fact that I’m a goober 99% of the time.

63) That all the future promises of God are as good as done.

64) GPS that keeps me from getting lost on these hopelessly and gloriously confusing roads in and around Nashville.

65) That  nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever separate me from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

66) Taking all my size 34 jeans to Goodwill because they’re way too big for me now.

67) Scottish, Irish, and British accents.

68) The fact that I’m taller than Tom Cruise.

69) People who get me.

70) That the people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter.

71) Reading through The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings every single year.

72) Ditto for The Hobbit.

73) My very,very red New Balance running shoes that are super-duper lightweight.

74) Anything Patty Griffin has ever or will ever record– even if it’s singing through the phone book alphabetically.

75) That no one is beyond the reach of God’s love and that it is never too late to start over.

76) The movie Elizabethtown– and anyone who has actually seen it and appreciates it the way I do.

77) Wearing my red chucks, i.e. my very red vintage-style Chuck Taylor Converse high tops.

78) Any worship song by Hillsong, Kari Jobe, or Chris Tomlin.

79) A good quote from Mother Teresa.

80) That I promise in the future I will try to think of better titles for these blogs.

Notes on a Sermon

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I heard something really cool today in a sermon. Even though I didn’t get much sleep, I still paid attention, so that doubles my Baptist Brownie points, I think.

Anyway, the point is this: you don’t have to be a victim to your past or let what others have said or done to you enslave you. The power of the risen Christ gives you the freedom and opportunity to choose a new future and break the cycle of negativity and lies.

You don’t have to be defined by past failures or by friends who abandoned you. And on a side note, real friends will give you the benefit of the doubt at all times and dig behind the misunderstanding to find your true meaning instead of assuming the worst. But that’s another topic for another day. Maybe.

The future is wide open. It’s not bound to what you did in the past or the rut you’re currently stuck in. The future is where God is already waiting to show you something better than you could ever have imagine or dreamed up on your own. The future is where you become all that God meant for you to be when he dreamed you up.

So let go of those who won’t look for the best in you and try to bring it out of you. Embrace those who bring out the Jesus in you and help you to find your own unique story. You are special because you have a calling and purpose that only you can do– to be exactly yourself in a world that will do anything and everything to get you to be anything else but you.

The best part is that you can always start over. You don’t have to wait for the first of the month or for the next full moon. You can start today. You just have to want it bad enough to work for it and to wait expectantly for God’s promises to be fulfilled in you.

And now maybe I’ll take a much-needed nap.

Vanilla Blonde Roast Coffee and Thoughts of Marriage

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

starbucks

I officially had my very first cup of non-blended coffee. It was a grande vanilla blonde roast, thank you very much. And yes, I felt ever so grown up drinking it. I may actually turn into a mature grown-up person one day, scary as that thought may be.

Then I got to thinking about marriage. Me the single guy thinking about marriage? Yep.

For years, I felt I couldn’t get married because I felt I’d never be mature enough or ready for all the responsibilities. Now I think maybe those are the very reasons that I’m ready.

I know I will need Jesus in my marriage for it to have even a ghost of a chance for success. I know I will need his strength daily to be the kind of husband and father I need to be. I know how weak and foolish I can be on my own strength.

Maybe the greatest folly going into a marriage is thinking that you’re ready for it. Maybe it’s when you think you can handle the biblical roles of husband and father that you’re most prone to the consequence that follows the sin of pride– namely, a great fall.

I’m not saying I will get married tomorrow or next week. I’ve left that in God’s hands. But I no longer believe that I CAN’T be a good husband or father. I can’t, but Jesus in me can.

I don’t want a typical American marriage. I don’t want to settle for normalcy. I don’t just want to plan for my wedding (and yes, I want to be a part of that); I want to plan for a lifelong marriage. I want a marriage where my wife and I serve together better than we ever could apart. I want a marriage that has a kingdom mission and purpose. I want my marriage to be a living witness to how great the love of Christ is for His bride, the Church.

And I know that I can’t begin to do that on my own. I can’t begin to dream of that on my own. It will take as much of Jesus flowing through me and out of me as I can humanly stand– and then some. It will take me being completely consumed until all that remains is Christ in me, the hope of glory.

All that from one cup of coffee. I may be up until 5 am, but right now I’m feeling mighty fine. Just think what kind of blogs I’ll write when I get hold of a venti cup of coffee.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in a While

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“You are the butter to my bread, you are the breath to my life” (from the movie Julie & Julia).

I blogged a few days ago about a magical movie moment at Best Buy. I’m beginning to realize that that girl is probably not you. In fact, I sincerely doubt I’ll ever see her again.

But one thing she did that I’m forever grateful for is to help me believe in myself again. Specifically, she helped me to believe that I could be desirable and attractive to the opposite sex. Not in a logical in-my-head kind of way, but in a very real, in-real-life kind of way.

I had even begun to doubt you would ever come my way, but now I believe in that again. I believe that even if it takes a miracle for us to meet, God has plenty of experience and practice and miracles and it’s really true that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for him,

There are still some fuzzy parts. I don’t know who you are or what you look like. I don’t know when or how we’ll meet. I don’t know where I’ll be. But I do know that wherever you are will be my home.

I know that there will be times when we won’t be “in love,” but we will still love each other, because love isn’t a feeling as much as it is a choice, an action, an active verb. Love even means loving when you don’t feel like it. Going through the motions of love sometimes until the feelings of love return.

I do hope there are moonlit walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. I hope for fireworks and also for quiet moments. I can’t wait to feel you lying next to me, sleeping while I’m still not able to fall asleep over the wonder that you belong to me and I belong to you and that we both belong to Jesus.

Some days, you are harder to see than others, but my hope isn’t in you. It’s in God. Period. I hope you will love me, but I hope you will love Jesus more. I hope to love you, but not half as much as I hope to love Jesus. And I know neither of our loves will even begin to touch the love of the Father for each of us.

That’s what I’m hoping for.