dating

Things I Love 16: The Number of Candles on Molly Ringwald’s Cake in That 80’s Movie

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There’s my not-so-subtle reference to the classic 80’s flick, Sixteen Candles. I had to do something with the number 16, right? And who didn’t love Molly Ringwald in that movie? Seriously.

Which brings us to #381 (and yes, I had to look up the last entry to get the number right).

381) Getting that unexpected 10 cent discount on gas at Kroger’s.

382) Not getting gas from that really tasty burger from The Pharmacy.

383) Jokes involving cannibals, dinosaurs, or people named Juan (ask me if you want an explanation).

384) It’s never too late to blossom into the person God always meant you to be.

385) The anticipation of getting coffee with a friend at The Frothy Monkey in downtown Franklin.

386) Air conditioning on days like today when I seriously thought I was going to die from sweating so much.

387) That my prayers actually change things– or more accurately, they change me and I change things.

388) When a team I root for actually wins.

389) God has my name written on the palms of his hands and on his heart.

390) Southern Sweet tea, i.e. tea sweetened to almost diabetes-inducing levels.

391) The way my cat looks at me like, “Dude, seriously?”

392) Knowing that my family and friends are around the world, making a difference, crazy enough to believe they can do what people say can’t be done and change the world for the better.

393) That stone house with the red door in downtown Franklin.

394) Beagles.

395) Not having to worry about being counted off for incomplete sentences.

396) Writing these lists– if possible, more now than when I started.

397) Hope fulfilled.

398) Singing along to Bon Jovi at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down in my car and not even caring what other people around me think.

399) The occasional karaoke.

400) The peace of Christ which surpasses understanding guarding my heart and mind.

401) My very awesome collection of music that I’ve compiled on my iPhone.

402) Jesus choosing to go through hell for me rather than go to heaven without me.

403) It will be 14 months of no carbonated drinks as of tomorrow.

404) Speaking into the back of a box fan and sounding like a robotic Darth Vader.

405) Chamber music.

406) Bluegrass music.

407) Pretty much every type of music.

408) Those times when there were only one set of footprints in the sand.

409) That the word “booger” still strikes me as completely hilarious.

410) Testimonies of God’s ability to save anyone from anything at anytime.

411) That girl who was Joey’s girlfriend and then Chandler’s girlfriend (on the TV show friends), then later ended up on Criminal Minds.

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

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OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

Life Lessons from Candy Crush Saga

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I’m a fan of Candy Crush Saga. In the past few days, I’ve been slightly addicted to . . . er, I mean really dedicated to this game. My pattern is that I’ll be stuck on a level for quite a while then suddenly I’ll breeze through several in one sitting. 

I’ve learned something about the game. You have to be intentional with just about every move you make to be successful.

Life is like that. You may wish for more hours in a day (just like I might wish for a few more moves in the game before I run out), but really the question is how intentional are you about using the time you’re given? Are you task-focused or people-focused. At the end of the day, you have to decide what really is important and what’s not.

I’ve said it before but the harsh truth is this: you will find time for the things and the people that matter to you. If you find yourself making excuses over why you can’t find time for someone, maybe it’s because they aren’t really that important to you. You may call yourself their friend, but the truth is you’re just an acquaintance.

You can’t do everything and you can’t be friends with everyone. You have to decide who and what you’re going to invest in and make those things and people your priority. You choose people whose qualities you most want in your life, who are headed in a direction you want to go, and who will ultimately help you become your truest self, i.e. more like Jesus.

If your so-called friends can’t ever make time for you, let them go. Pray for them and wish them well, but don’t keep trying to reserve a place in your life for someone who doesn’t want to be there. You will find plenty of people who want you around and who want to spend time with you and will live it out. Remember the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E. No other way shows your love for people than spending time with them.

After all that, do give people plenty of grace. I gave someone chance after chance to be my friend, but they ignored every request I made to spend time with them and hang out with them. They only responded to me after I suggest that it be best for us both to move on.

As for that infernal game, one day I will defeat level 23. I’ve come tantalizingly close, but then managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s my talent. Did I mention how much of a gamer I’m not?

Anyway, as always, take what’s useful to you from this and leave the rest. Hopefully, God will speak some truth into your life from these ramblings. Thanks again for investing in my life by taking the time to read these posts.

 

Things I Love 13: Not Written on a Friday Nor on the 13th

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I normally make some witty and socially relevant comment right about now, but we’re skipping that to get to the list. I do want to get to 1,000 before I’m 80. So we’re starting this one at #293.

293) The moment when gratitude wins out over self-pity, hurt, and anger.

294) Knowing I can never go back to the way things used to be but that the future will be so much better.

295) Iced Tazo Tea Lemonade and sympathetic baristas.

296) Condemning words and harsh unforgiving texts no longer will define who I am or wreck my life.

297) The idea that one day one girl out there will not only want to go out with me on a date, but will actually want to spend the rest of her life with me as my wife.

298) Christmasy candles that fill the air with apple and pumpkin spice aromas.

299) I’ve gotten so used to typing instead of writing that I automatically expect to see that red little line under a word when I’ve misspelled it.

300) The word phonetics isn’t spelled phonetically (otherwise it would be spelled starting with an f).

301) Alanis Morissette’s song Ironic contains no actual ironies– now, isn’t that ironic? Don’t you think?

302) Lost hopes restored and broken dreams reborn.

303) Candy Crush Saga– and yes, I can quit at any time.

304) Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

305) My sister, who is much prettier than Joan Jett.

306) Fruit Ninja.

307) Hearing Emmylou Harris sing just about ANYTHING.

308) Someone will read these lists and be inspired to start one of their own.

309) The beauty of seeing a classic film in the high definition format of blu ray and noticing details and textures that even the original movie audiences would have missed.

310) I’m a guy who has Breakfast at Tiffany’s in his top five movie list and am comfortable with that.

311) Still knowing all the words to the Don McLean song American Pie.

312) Knowing just about all the lines from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life.

313) Any movie starring both Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

314) A perfect God using imperfect people to accomplish his purposes in the world.

315) God using nobodies to shame the who’s who and turn the world right-side up again.

316) Even the worst commercials are only 30 seconds long (or on rare occasion, 1 minute).

317) Chillin’ like a villain.

318) Being like Phoebe Buffay from the TV show friends (in personality, not looks, in case you were confused).

319) Cereal at midnight.

320) One day God will wipe every tear from every  eye and everything wrong will be made right again.

321) Being me.

Things I Love 12: Tested And Approved by Lucy The Wonder Kitty

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

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Lucy is in my lap, approving  whatever I type. Of course, she can’t read, but if she could, she would add her own comments (most of which would not be fit to print in a family-style blog such as this one). So I’ll take her silence as either approval or extreme sleepiness.

The list commences with #264 (I think).

264) Ice-cold water to quench my thirst on a humid summer day.

265) A long walk alone under a full moon at night (as opposed to all those moonlit walks during the day).

266) That I’m finally at a place where I’m comfortable alone or in a crowd.

267) Planned spontaneity.

268) That I’ve come to the place where if I never see a certain person ever again (and at the moment it appears very likely to be the case), that I will be glad for the friendship; I will miss her, but my life will go on.

269) Those quiet moments of peace where God speaks into my silence.

270) That with God, every day is a day to look forward to.

271) Reading collects out of The Book of Common Prayer and seeing my own prayers expressed better than I could ever put them.

272) That this blog site has spell-check so that I can appear smarter than I really am, i.e. that I can actually spell.

273) That I really don’t have to be friends with everyone or have everyone like me to be content.

274) That everything will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

275) Good lines from good movies (like the one I just referenced earlier).

276) Chocolate bars with bacon in them (it sounds gross, but tastes divine).

277) All of my quirks

278) That I have to show my driver’s license to prove that I really am the age I say I am.

279) That even though Jon Acuff might have more readers for one blog than I’ve had for all my 1,000+ blogs combined, that I have touched and impacted lives that wouldn’t have been touched and impacted had I chosen not to write a blog.

280) That I can use bad grammar, and bad punctuation, in my blogs, if I so, choose.

281) Those rare times when the Church is known for what it’s for rather than what it’s against.

282) That I can learn something from anybody, no matter what their philosophical, theological, political or social beliefs and regardless of whether or not they have the same worldview as mine.

283) That hamburger from The Pharmacy with bacon, ham, and a fried egg (10,000 calories of deliciousness!)

284) That the last spoken words from Jesus in the Bible aren’t a condemnation but an invitation.

285) When I talk into a box fan and make my voice sound like a robot.

286) That being grown-up doesn’t always mean having to be mature all the time.

287) That the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

288) The way my cat Lucy hovers when she goes to the bathroom.

289) Not knowing all the answers (or even all of the questions).

290) A perfectly made and perfectly thrown paper airplane.

291) That I saw the actual Batmobile from the campy 60’s TV show tonight in downtown Franklin

292) That this list will continue– maybe tomorrow, maybe not. You’ll just have to tune in tomorrow to find out. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Things I Love 11: Top That, Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees

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I now have passed into legendary status in this series. Not even movie slashers Freddy Krueger or Jason Vorhees had more than nine sequels (even counting the one they were in together, which I consider cheating). That goes to show that there are really way more good things than bad things out there if you only look hard enough and with the right set of eyes.

That being said, we’ll kick off this list at #239:

239) Driving home after a good night of community group with music playing loud and absolutely no idea of where you are (and not caring).

240) Vegetables off the grill.

241) Giving myself permission to vent, to go a little crazy, and to be in the moment, no matter how painful it may be.

242) That whenever Lucy my cat hears my car coming up the driveway, she goes to the front door and waits for me.

243) On nights like this, gratitude for not having a night shift job.

244) That I’m not (nor will I ever be) married to any of the Kardashians.

245) Authentic conversations with friends at 10 pm.

246) That God only needs the tiniest place to start in my life to do something amazing.

247) That unexpected two-hour nap on a Sunday afternoon when I only meant to lie down and rest my eyes for a second.

248) Knowing that God’s “no”s always mean a much bigger “yes” down the road.

249) Singing to the very top of my lungs with the song playing on my car radio and not caring if I sound scary.

250) Finding the freedom to forgive myself for being myself.

251) In those moments when I can truly love being me.

252) Those spontaneous Saturday nights in downtown Franklin (like the one I’m planning for tomorrow).

253) People who refuse to give up on me even when they should.

254) Finding the perfect card for someone’s birthday.

255) Knowing that my Abba rejoices over me, sings over me, and dances with joy over me.

256) The almost-euphoric feeling after I realize that a bad headache is gone.

257) Jennifer Anniston.

258) The clean smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

259) Not having to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

260) That I’m already 1/4 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love/am grateful for/receive as gifts from God.

261) Chocolate Cheerios.

262) Eating dessert first.

263) Eating dessert as a meal.

Look for the next installment, cleverly entitled Things I Love 12, sometime tomorrow.

The Real Dirt on Relationships

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No, this isn’t another one of those blogs on dating. Yeah, I know the typical cliche topic whenever you go to a singles group or Young Adult Bible Study is dating, relationships, and– the holy grail of all singles– marriage.

This is not one of those.

“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. Don’t bother reserving a space for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”

I know we’re all busy. We have lives and jobs. Some of us have marriages and kids. Some of us have pets. We all have a plethora of activities and groups and social events we’re a part of. There’s still only 24 hours in a day and that’s not going to change any time soon.

But the harsh truth is this: if someone means something to you, you will find time for them. If you can’t (or won’t) find time for them, it means that they don’t matter. You may tell them they matter, but if your actions speak otherwise, that’s what the person will hear. Actions do speak far louder than words.

If someone doesn’t respond to your texts or posts, the same thing applies. I understand that you might not have time to reply in that instant, but if you care about the other person at all, you will find the time to respond. Even if it’s just “I got your text” or “Thanks, but no thanks” is better than nothing at all. To not respond at all is perceived as ignoring the person, and as we all know, my or your perception may not be reality, but it’s all we have to go on.

You do have to learn to let those people go who won’t make the effort to be a part of your life. And making an effort means making or finding time. Always. Embrace those who stick with you through your moments of temporary insanity, through when you’re not as easy to be around. Those are rare gems that don’t come along every day.

I should add that not every single relationship will be like this. Some healthy relationships involve people who won’t see or hear from each other for a long time, but when the two get together, it’s like no time at all has passed. My advice is to always in every relationship give the other person grace and the benefit of the doubt.

As I’ve said before, you can’t be friends with everyone. At least not in the sense of investing in people and cultivating meaningful relationships with them. You will either have many shallow relationships or fewer but deeper friendships that last.

Most of all, hold all of your relationships with an open hand and a surrendered heart. God will put some people in your lives for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years. Sometimes, you only get one conversation. Sometimes, you get years of companionship. Don’t try to hold onto someone God has only put into your life for a short time.

That’s all I have for tonight, just some things that have been ruminating in the old noggin of mine for quite some time.

Things I Love 10: I’m Not Even Close to Being Done With This

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Everybody sing with me,”This is the list that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends.”

As we come to part X of my list of things I love, it does seem like it will never end. But trust me, it will. We may both be in our 80’s by then, but I will finish this list one day.
So continuing with #214:

214) People who actually respond back to my texts and posts.

215) Fridays.

216) When my cat wakes me up in the middle of the night by jumping on my bed and purring loudly in deep contentment.

217) Old Warner Brothers cartoons.

218) When I remember someone’s name after only meeting them once.

219) The corned beef and cabbage at McCreary’s Irish Pub.

220) That with God all my past sins are forgiven and forgotten.

221) Reconciliation of relationships.

222) My grandmother’s banana pudding.

223) Answered prayer.

224) Seeing the amazing transformative power of God at work in my life and in the lives around me.

225) Cheesy 80’s movies.

226) The good feeling from being in shape physically.

227) Remembering a good dream.

228) Finding money I didn’t know I had in the pockets of clothes I haven’t worn in a while.

229) Being in the know.

230) Singing along with a good song on the radio.

231) Trying new foods at new restaurants.

232) That Jesus knows my name and always knows where I am.

233) A good, thick biography. The thicker the better.

234) Alan Thicke. Why not?

235) Hearing an old song I had forgotten about and having long-buried memories that go with it come back to mind.

236) Coma-inducing Southern sweet tea.

237) When I know for sure God is speaking to me and I am still enough to listen.

238) Randomly bursting into song in public for no good reason.

I’d love to hear some of the little things that bring you joy. I might even stealborrow them for future Things I Love blogs.

Things I Love 9: This Series Is Getting Completely Redonkulous

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

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I apologize for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the next installment of this series. Both of you.

I got off track in more ways than one, but now I continue this seemingly neverending series with #192.

192) A cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.

193) Any time I get free food, even if it’s just a free dreamcone from Chick-fil-A (one of the perks of having the app foursquare on my iPhone!)

194) Knowing that even if the worst case scenario actually comes to pass, God’s taking care of me and everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

195) The absolute magic of Fred Astaire dancing with Ginger Rogers.

196) Homemade bread.

197) Sweet potato french fries (I recommend Pucketts or The Pharmacy).

198) Knowing my family and friends are praying for me as I write this.

199) Being able to pray the prayer that never fails– Your will be done– and sincerely mean it.

200) Being okay after having my heart broken in a very failed attempt to take a friendship to the next level.

201) That the best things in life really are free.

202) GPS for those like me who are directionally-impaired.

203) Ice cold water on a hot day.

204) Unexpectedly seeing old friends at Kairos.

205) Having peace even in the midst of spectacularly blowing a friendship to smithereens.

206) When technology works like its supposed to.

207) Getting all green lights on my way to church.

208) That I am an heir with Christ and no longer a slave to fear but now possess a spirit of adoption and can cry, “Abba, Daddy” to the God and Maker of the Universe.

209) That low sexy voice you get when ever you have a cold or hay fever.

210) Hearing a favorite song at just the right moment.

211) The effortless artistry of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice.

212) That God hears my feeble prayers– and even my sighs and groans when I don’t have the words.

213) That God can use messes like Moses, Abraham, David, Peter, and (most amazing of all) me.