“But underneath all our emphasis on successful action, many of us suffer from a deep-seated, low self esteem and are walking around with the constant fear that someday someone will unmask the illusion and show that we are not as smart, as good, or as lovable as the world was made to believe” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude).

I think for many the greatest fear is that people will find out who we really are, and when they make the discovery, they will shun us and leave us. So many of us live in constant fear that who we really are deep down inside really isn’t good enough. We think people will see us the way we often see ourselves, thus the deep-seated fear. Thus the metaphorical masks (and sometimes real ones). Thus the playacting and pretending and bravado and bragging.

But maybe if we could learn to see us the way God sees us. He sees it all — even more than we can see. He knows all our flaws — even the ones we’ve not allowed ourselves to admit or acknowledge.He loves us as we are, not as we should be. All He asks is that we receive that love.

I think if we could ever see each other as God sees us, we’d see things very differently. We’d act differently. We’d be better people. In fact, we’d be more like Jesus.

As I write these words, I’m definitely feeling it. I’m tired. It wasn’t a bad week, just a long and taxing one.

Have you ever been tired to the point where it affected your thinking and caused you to see things in a more negative light? I remember times back in the day when I thought I had screwed up jobs and relationships beyond repair only to wake up the next morning and everything was fine. The problem was that I was overtired.

Have you ever been tired to the point where you can’t sleep? It’s almost as if you want sleep so much that you try so hard to fall asleep and defeat the very purpose you’re trying to accomplish?

One thing I’ve learned is that feelings are deceptive, especially when you’re hungry or tired. You can’t trust how you feel to guide your decisions, otherwise you will end up making poor decisions based on faulty information. You’ll do and say things that you will later regret.

At these times, Jesus says, “Come to me and find real rest. Not just sleep, but rest where you let go of trying to fix and control and manipulate your circumstances all the time. Lean on me and let me take your burdens and give you Mine. Then you’ll find a peace that allows you to cease striving and truly know that I am God.”

I’m praying that you who are weary and overburdened will know not just sleep but true soul-rest and a peace that surpasses all human understanding and comprehension.

I can’t love this enough because I can’t emphasize enough how true it’s been in my own life. I major in talking about my trials while I minor in speaking about how blessed I am. In fact, I take so many of my blessings for granted, it’s a wonder that I still receive any. But God remains faithful.

I think we miss the point of trials. God doesn’t allow them just so we can have something to complain about but so that we can build our character to receive better blessings. Most of all, trials make us look and act and sound more like Jesus. Sometimes, blessings are to prepare us for future trials so that we can look back and remember the faithfulness of God. It’s not an either/or but a both/and.

I guess I need to remember to write those trials in sand because they don’t last. I need to carve those blessings in stone because those are from the eternal God who never changes and remains constantly true to His people and to His promises forever.

The best part of stained glass windows is when the light shines through. That’s when you really see every detail and every nuance.

It’s the same with God’s people, really. When we’re doing our own thing apart from God and in our own strength, we’re nothing to look at. We’re nothing special. There’s nothing that would make people take notice.

But when we place ourselves where God’s light can shine through us, that’s when people pay attention. That’s when they see something in us that they don’t have in themselves. That’s when they want what we have. That’s when they see God in a new way and see their great need of Him.

Also, the great thing about stained glass is that you take broken pieces of glass and make something beautiful. In the same way, God can take broken pieces and broken people and turn them collectively into something glorious that reflects the light and glory of Christ in a way nothing else can. That’s the Church at its best. That’s us at our best.

A part of me refuses to believe that after 17 years, you will no longer be the Kairos Worship Pastor. Part of me expects to show up next week and find you leading us in worship like you’ve always done, but I know that God has called you further up and further in.

You’re taking the next step in God’s calling on your life. Your faithfulness in obedience is both heartwarming and heartbreaking because I know you’ll be where where God has been leading you all your life up to this point, but I also know that I will miss you.

You’ve been a good friend. You epitomized the saying about preaching the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words. Your whole life has been preaching the gospel and your words match your witness. You’ve never claimed to be perfect, but you’ve been honest about your failings and shortcomings.

I love how you haven’t been just a worship leader but a lead worshipper. You haven’t just told us to worship, but you’ve shown us how by ushering us into the very presence of God Almighty.

I am proud beyond belief to be able to call you friend, to call you brother, and to say that I love you very much because you’ve shown me the Jesus who loved me so very much. I hope that if God blesses me that I can be as good of a husband and father as I have seen you be to your wife and son.

Thank you, Boggs, for sharing part of your story with me and thank you God, for letting me play a small part in it. I am blessed indeed.

At the end of the day, Jesus will not ask us who we were against or how much we defended our free speech or how we let everybody know where we stand politically. He will ask, “Did you love the least of these? Did you love your enemies? Did you give to those who can’t ever pay you back?” At the end of the day, all that matters is this: did we love well like Jesus loved us well?

I wrote that a long time ago, but I think I’d add a few things that Jesus might ask me:

“Did you love those who sin differently than you?”

“Did you love those who express political opinions that are diametrically opposed to yours?”

“Did you love yourself as much as I loved you when I went to the cross for you?”

“Did your love mean uncritical passive acceptance or did your love mean that you want to see that person become the absolute best version of him or herself?”

“Did you remember today to tell the people you love that you love them? Did you say the actual words, not assuming they know or hoping they’ll pick up on it by your actions, but with the words I LOVE YOU?”

I’ll be the first to admit that knowing God’s will can seem like a daunting task. I mean how do you know what God wants for you in terms of where you work, who you marry, how many kids you have? So many areas in life and so many questions.

But I believe that God’s will becomes more clear the more you obey what you know. There are clear indications in God’s word of what God’s will is. It says in 1 Thessalonians 5 to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in everything, for that is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

If you do those things, I believe you are closer to perceiving more of God’s will for your life. You won’t be as concerned about the details as you will trusting God in each moment and being faithful to follow the next step in front of you as God reveals it.

Above all, you can follow God’s will when you realize that God is way more concerned about who you are becoming than what you do. In other words, godly character leads to good conduct, and a person steeped in the person of God will more naturally follow the ways of God.

So basically start by living joyfully, praying non-stop, and giving thanks in every circumstance, good or bad. And if you ever get that down pat, let me know how you did it.

Sometimes kids say it best. The following is a reimagining (or more accurately a paraphrase) of the Lord’s Prayer. It’s the best example I can think of as to what it looks like to have the faith of a child:

“Sometimes we experience a terrible dryness in our spiritual life. We feel no desire to pray, don’t experience God’s presence, get bored with worship services, and even think that everything we ever believed about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is little more than a childhood fairy tale.

Then it is important to realise that most of these feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts, and that the Spirit of God dwells beyond our feelings and thoughts. It is a great grace to be able to experience God’s presence in our feelings and thoughts, but when we don’t, it does not mean that God is absent. It often means that God is calling us to a greater faithfulness. It is precisely in times of spiritual dryness that we must hold on to our spiritual discipline so that we can grow into new intimacy with God” (Henri Nouwen).

I always remember what I heard a long time ago. What you think and feel can and will lie to you, so you go with what you know. You cling to all the promises of God as declared in Scripture.

That’s why it’s so vital to know God’s word inside and out. The more you know, the less likely that doubts can steal your joy. Not that you won’t still have doubts, but you know better how to doubt your doubts and hold fast to what is true.

Spiritual dryness can be a good thing if it leads you away from trusting your experiences and your emotions rather than trusting in the person of God as revealed in Jesus. Just know that seasons come and seasons go, but the faithfulness of God lasts forever.

I’m thankful for Friday. I’m blessed to have a good job with people I like working with. I’m blessed to have a good life where I get to do a lot of things that I enjoy. But I’m still thankful for Friday.

I’m glad that God established a day of rest because I generally need one by this point in the week. We all do. No one was ever designed to go 24/7 without a break of some kind.

So I hope you enjoy your weekend. I hope you can rest and find some kind of hobby or activity that brings you joy. Or I hope you can know the freedom of doing nothing without feeling guilty about it.

And happy Friday in advance!