blessing

It’s Not About Me

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God forgive me for getting upset when my facebook statuses go unnoticed and when my wall posts and blogs get ignored or not responded to. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for expecting people to fill my need for affirmation and admiration. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for expecting everything to go my way all the time and for blaming you when thing don’t work out the way I want them to. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for thinking that I am loved because I am worthy of it. I am not and it’s not about me.

It has been and is now and will forever be Your Story. It’s not about me.

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, JESUS!

Brokenness and Community

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We are all broken. Some are just better at hiding it than others, but deep down inside we know we don’t work right. I believe when God reveals our brokenness within the context of community, we have two choices. I can see your brokenness and choose to walk away and shut you out or I can choose to walk with you and share your burdens, “and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Ephesians 6:2). I’m not saying it’s wrong to walk away; some are not ready to handle brokenness in others. But to stay and walk with a brother or sister through brokenness is the better way.

I also think about the image of Jesus breaking bread and blessing it. If we want God to bless us, or better yet to bless others through us, we must first be broken. Only in the context of community where we love each other and share joys and sorrows and bear each other’s burdens can this happen. We shouldn’t just pray for blessings on each other. We should be able to pray for brokenness for each other. We should be authentic and transparent enough to be broken and honest with each other.

I am reminded of Henri Nouwen’s term “wounded healer.” If we aren’t broken, we can never reach beyond the surface in our relationships and serving and ministry, but if we are broken, we can empathize with the weaknesses of others. The more we own our brokenness, the more loving and Christlike we will be toward the brokenness in others.

I want to buck the trend that says that weakness is something you don’t talk about. I want to be like Paul who boasted in his weakness, because that’s where Christ’s strength is perfected. Let people see that you are not a perfect saint, but a weak and broken and transparent vessel through which God’s love can pour unhindered to the world around you.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Who am I?

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I am Jacob, for I try to manipulate and deceive every person I meet.
I am Gomer, for I whore myself after other gods and do not seek the One True God.
I am Abraham, for I lie when it suits me.
I am Esau, for I am willing to trade things of eternal worth for worthless things.
I am Cain, for my anger gets the best of me at times.
I am Moses, for I do not believe God when He says He can speak through me.
I am Judas, for I am so often ready to betray my Savior for so little.
I am David, for I sin and try to cover it up, rather than confess and be made whole.
I am Forgiven, because Jesus died for me.
I am Beloved, for God has declared me so.

A Church Without Walls (Part 2)

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I see a church where we will not be afraid to stand up and declare that Jesus is Lord, that there is no other God but Yahweh, and that there is no other way to heaven but through Jesus Christ. I see a church who instead of condemning sinners, will cry out to God and repent of our lack of love and take the blame for what is wrong with our culture. I see a church who will not just give out of her excess, but will sacrifice to meet the needs of those hurting and needy. I see a church where our worship costs us something and we like David proclaim, “I will not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost me nothing.”

I see a church where it is not about being right, but about giving up your rights. Where we will turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile and keep our word even when it hurts. I see a church who tries to match their lifestyle with what they profess with their lips. I see a church where we stop pretending to be perfect people who have it all together and are so much better than everyone else. Where we admit to being broken and helpless without Jesus and to admitting that the only difference between us and the worst sinner is the grace of God at work in us.

I see a church who is not selling out to a political party or a form of government or a way of life, but who are citizens of a kingdom where the King is Jesus. Where not political might, but the power of prayer and fasting will bring about lasting change.

I see that church and as much as I want that, I have to be the first one to change. Better yet, I need to seek after a transformed heart, God’s own heart, inside me.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Amazed by God again!

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“The ultimate test of our spirituality is the measure of our amazement at the grace of God.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones

I was not prepared for what happened to me tonight. I went to Set Free Nashville tonight hoping to do more than take up space and be a warm body. I had no idea what to expect, only that God would be there. And was He!

I ended up having a really good conversation with one of the homeless men. He shared his life story with me and I listened, which is an accomplishment for an ADDer like me. I ended up receiving the blessing that I thought I would give. The guy I talked to and I are not that different– in fact, the only difference is a couple of bad decisions on his part. Apart from the grace of God, I very easily could have done worse.

I ended up praying with him and as he walked away, I whispered a silent prayer of thanks to God for this conversation. I think my frozen heart is finally starting to thaw and I am just beginning to learn what it means to love with the love of Christ. I know now that what God wants is simply my availability and flexibility. He wants me to show up and wait for Him to really show up! He did.

I didn’t do anything. God did it all. I like to close this blog with very appropriate lyrics from a Sara Groves song:

“Something changed inside me broke wide open all spilled out
Till I had no doubt that something changed
Never would have believed it till I felt it in my own heart
In the deepest part the healing came
And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can’t afford it
But it’s mine
Something so amazing in a heart so dark and dim
When a wall falls down and the light comes in
And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can’t afford it
But it’s mine”

That is exactly what happened tonight. All praise to the God who can use anybody anytime anywhere to reach out to anyone!

Ruminations of a Ragamuffin

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“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you (John 15:18-19)

Someone pointed out to me today that verse and then went on to comment on who the people were who hated Jesus. They were not the prostitutes or tax-collectors or the outcasts or the sick. They were not the sinners and scum of the earth. The ones who hated Jesus were the upstanding religious folks. Because He dared to be spiritual but not religious. Because He was scandalous in who He loved and how much He loved. Because of who He hung out (the sinners) with and who He criticized (the religious). They hated Him so much they had Him killed.

If we are living the way Jesus lived and loving people the way Jesus loved people, we will be hated. Not by sinners and outcasts and reprobates, but by church people. When you try to follow Jesus wholeheartedly, the loudest ones to criticize you will be Christians. Maybe because your lifestyle will convict their complacency and lack of compassion.

If I had to be honest, I would say that most of the time I live more like a Pharisee than Jesus. I have my rules that everyone else must follow. I have my smug self-righteousness. I make myself the standard by which I measure everyone else. Thank God, there are moments when I try to look like Jesus and let Him love people through me. Hopefully, the Pharisee in me will decrease and the Jesus in me will increase.

One last thing. If Jesus ministered almost exclusively to the outcasts and downtrodden and saved His harshest comments for the religious holier-than-thou type, why do we do the opposite? Why do we cater to the sanctimonious and shut out the homeless, hopeless and loveless? If I am honest, I am just as needy of Jesus and His grace as anybody.

Jesus, help me love who You love and go to the hurting and broken and needy the way You did. Give me Your heart for the lost world. May I be Jesus to somebody today.

Why we need each other (some thoughts I had)

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I think one of the reasons that community is so important is that it enlarges our view of God. I like to think that each of us carry puzzle pieces of what God is like. Each has a few pieces that reveal a limited aspect of God. When you get to know me, you add more pieces to your puzzle and your view of God gets bigger and clearer. When I get to know you, the same happens for me.

The more people whose lives we invest in, the more pieces and the bigger our view of God becomes and the more the pieces fall into place and connect into more coherent forms.

I truly believe that we grow as believers and our knowledge of God increases only in the context of community, where we share with each other and serve one another in love. There’s no way I can figure out God on my own, apart from other believers.

There it is. That’s my thought for the day. Hope it helps.

My prayer for tonight after Kairos

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Lord, you have ravished me body and soul. With one look of your eye, you have enraptured my heart and enlarged my vision of You. You have absolutely ruined me for the ordinary and the routine.

Lord, help me to be obedient to you, no matter what the cost. May I go where you send me and be who You call me to be. I want to obey You wholeheartedly and completely, even if no one else notices, because You will notice. I want to follow You, even if those around me disown me or ignore me, because You will never disown me or leave me. Never.

Teach me to love the way You love me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Make me Your hands and feet to touch those hurting, lost, and lonely people around me. Transform my heart until it beats with your heartbeat. Transform my eyes until I see that Your plan is for the whole world and not just my little world.

I want my faith to be more than words and professions of love to You. I want to be more than moved and inspired at times; I want to be radically changed from the inside out. I choose to trust You, whether or not I feel it or understand You.

Even if I must go alone, I want to follow You wherever and however You lead.

As always, I believe, but help my unbelief.

Thoughts on Authenticity and the New Testament Church

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I’ve been reading over Acts 2:42-47 lately and I am struck by how radically different the Early Church was from my own experience of Church. For one thing, we in the South (me included) talk about “going to church,” while the early believers talked about “being the church” and being the hands and feet of Jesus. Church for them was not a place or an event, but a shared way of life.

Where is the sense of awe? Where are the signs and wonders? By that I don’t mean crazy gibberish, but the genuine miraculous moving of God among His people. I think part of the answer is that the early believers spent so much time together. They fellowshipped and broke bread together DAILY. We do good if we see each other twice a week. They shared everything. They were willing to sacrifice of themselves to help fellow believers. They were of one mind, one purpose and had one goal– to lift up Jesus in such a way that He would draw all people to Himself.

They faced a level of persecution that we know nothing about. There was no room for casual Christianity, because to proclaim “Jesus is Lord” was to risk torture and death. I have never faced that in my life.

How do we change course? I know for me, that if I am comfortable and satisfied with the way things are, the staus quo, I will never change. Only with a holy discontent can I seek the face of God to bring the change in my life. When we are willing to take off our masks and be real, to stop talking Christianese and Sunday School answers and be brutally honest about ourselves, then we see change. Only God can initiated that in His people, but we have to want it.

Who’s with me? Who’s tired of just going to church? I see the main problem with the American Church everytime I look in the mirror.  I am the main problem. If I want to see change, I have to be the change. I must desperately want God to change me, to transform me, to live through me in the Person of His Son, Jesus, and through His Holy Spirit.

It’s time to break up our shallow ground and seek the Lord. Who’s with me?

My first ever blog (tah-dah!)

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This is my first ever blog! WOOHOO!

By the way, the name of the blog comes from The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, who is pretty much my favorite writer right now. In case you were wondering.

I think that there are two essentials in the faith. These come from James 1:27. “Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.” (from the Message translation) These are compassion and integrity.

Integrity is keeping yourself unstained by the world, and compassion is reaching out to the orphans and widows (or in our society, the homeless and loveless). We need both of these. Jesus had both during His earthly ministry. He was sinless and kept the law perfectly, but He reached out to society’s castaways and showed the world what the grace of God looks like.

How does that play out in real life? I am trying to figure that out myself. But I know I need both, so I try to live both.