Set Free VBS- Day Two

IMG_0809 On my way to the second day of Vacation Bible School at Set Free Church, I ran into some heavy rains. As in I almost couldn’t see the road. I like a good storm now and then when I’m safely tucked in bed inside my own home, but not so much when I’m driving in it. Especially on the interstate.

But I got there. Thanks to the rain, it was quite a bit cooler, though still quite muggy. I’m pretty certain that more kids showed up today than yesterday. I can’t say that I’m the world’s best VBS volunteer, but I showed up. And so did these kids. As my pastor said once, all God needs is a place to start. Not perfect obedience or perfect planning. Just the smallest little opening.

IMG_0892So we planted some seeds. As you may well know (even if you’re not a farmer), most seeds don’t automatically sprout into full-grown plants or trees. In fact, you probably won’t see any visible results for a while. But underneath the soil is where all the change is taking place.

These kids may not seem different. But underneath, in their hearts and souls and minds, God is working. He’s showing them a Father different from any they’ve probably ever known. He’s showing them a Love like they’ve never felt before.

IMG_0917I can tell God’s working in me, too. Once again, I’m finding out how true it is that you simply can’t outgive God. In fact, even in serving all you’re doing is receiving and letting what you’re given pass through you to those around you. I’m reminded of what Ann Voskamp said:

“”Christian hands never clasp
and He doesn’t give gifts for gain
because a gift can never stop being a gift –
it is always meant to be given.”

I hope at the end of this year’s VBS some kids will pray to receive Christ (and some already have). I pray that their lives (and mine) will have been transformed and changed so that there’s a little less greed and a little more generosity, a little less lusting and a little more loving, a little less like the world around us and a little more like Jesus.

That will make every bit of what we’ve sacrificed to be there more than worth it.

Set Free VBS- Day One

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I volunteered again for Vacation Bible School at Set Free Church in downtown Nashville. It’s just as much of a leap of faith (or like the above picture, an ascension into the unknown). Inner-city ministry is decidedly out of my comfort zone, but as I’ve learned, you almost never learn anything or grow or experience fullness of joy and peace inside your comfort zone. You must always step out and take risks for those miracles to happen.

That said, I had an amazing night of seeing God at work. To the average cynic, it might seem like a futile task reaching out to inner-city children who to every appearance have no attention span whatsoever and almost no impulse control. But I don’t believe that, or else I wouldn’t have been out there, doing my small part to share the love of Christ with these kids.

IMG_0769I think that deep down all children have the same needs: someone who sees them and cares about them and loves them. They are just like adults in that they won’t care how much you know about the Bible, Jesus, theology, and doctrine until you show them how much you care about them as people and not as statistics.

I’m only one very imperfect person who’s out there trying to love on some kids. I’m not Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. But it’s not about my abilities anyhow. It’s about me making myself available to a very perfect God who can take my little bitty offering (think loaves and fishes) and multiply it to satisfy the soul-needs of a multitude. It’s not great faith in God that accomplishes wonders, but faith in a great God. Even if that faith is as small as a mustard seed.

IMG_0733So it’s about planting small seeds of faith in these kids. It’s about taking their posturing and sometimes snarky attitudes and loving them anyway and pointing them to Jesus, who loves little children more than anyone. 

Who knows? Maybe there’s a future Billy Graham or another Mother Teresa amongst these kids? Even if it’s one life that gets changed, that’s enough. As an old Jewish saying goes, if you change one person, you have changed the world. At the very least you have changed that person’s world. And for me that will be more than enough.

 

 

 

Translating My Prayers

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I had a friend from Romania who attended Kairos with her new husband of four months. Since he’s not quite as adept at English as she is, she interpreted most of the Kairos service for him. It was a beautiful thing to see.

Then a light bulb went off in my head. That’s what the Holy Spirit does for me when I pray. I don’t mean that God needs an interpreter to understand my Southern dialect of English, but sometimes my prayers don’t even have words. Sometimes all I have are sighs and groans that are too deep for words, raw emotions that I can’t figure out, much less give voice to.

That’s where the Holy Spirit takes over. Even when I’m praying what I think God wants to hear, the Holy Spirit is inside me praying what’s really in my heart and on my mind. Even if that is anger toward God or frustration with how I think he’s guiding me.

Sometimes in prayer, thoughts come unbidden to my mind that I’m afraid to pray. Or at least I’m tempted to spiritualize so that they sound more Christian. Through the Holy Spirit, God sees beyond my Christian-ese and my thees and thous to the real words I can’t (or won’t) pray.

As I’ve said before, I’m so glad God didn’t give me 90% of what I asked for. He may not have caused that certain girl to fall in love with me, but he gave me something much better. He gave me Himself and an overwhelming sense of a more perfect Love that no human could ever give me.

He may not  have given me riches, but He’s helped me to see how richly blessed I am and how much I have to be truly thankful for.

Sometimes, I go to The Book of Common Prayer when I don’t have words of my own. I’ve used The Liturgy of the Hours recently as well. Some of Henri Nouwen’s prayers have felt like they were my own prayers said better than I could ever say them. Sometimes, all I have is “Lord, help” and “Thank you, Lord.” Even my silence before God is a form of prayer for that is often when I can finally hear Him speaking to me.

So if all you fail to get anything else out of all I’ve written, get this. God wants to hear from you. He doesn’t want pretty words or perfect theology or even coherent sentences. He wants you, all of you. Every bit of joy and pain, hurt and triumph, sorrow and happiness. He wants everything that’s on your heart and on your mind.

This comes from one ragamuffin trying to tell all the other ragamuffins out there where to find the best Bread out there. That’s all.

Things I Love 34: To Infinity and Beyond

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“Life is so urgent it necessitates living slow”  (Ann Voskamp).

“Thanksgiving-giving thanks in everything-prepares the way that God might show us His fullest salvation in Christ” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“At the last, this is what will determine a fulfilling, meaningful life, a life that, behind all the facades, every one of us longs to live: gratitude for the blessings that expresses itself by becoming the blessing” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I entertained thoughts about stretching this series to 2,000.  But then again, I’m much too lazy for that. Besides, I probably mentioned some things I love more than once, so these extras should compensate for my oversights. And I’m still having too much fun with it to stop now. So we pick up at #1,001.

1,001) Getting radically out of my comfort zone to serve at VBS with inner-city kids.

1,002) Any kind of a front or back porch swing.

1,003) Seeing videos and pictures of my Romanian friend’s wedding.

1,004) That I now have prayer books from three different faith aspects: Episcopalian (The Book of Common Prayer), Roman Catholic (The Liturgy of the Hours), and Jewish (Siddur: The  Traditional Prayer Book).

1,005) Packing school backpacks with school supplies and prayers to give to inner-city children.

1,006) That no one can make me feel anything. I choose my response and by the grace of God, I can respond to hate with love, anger with kindness, and mockery with respect.

1,007) Knowing that I’m not who I used to be or what I one day will be.

1,008) Walking through meadows filled with flowers.

1,009) That I finally grew out of eating ketchup sandwiches.

1,010) Being very nonlinear and random.

1,011) Hot showers in the morning to help me wake up.

1,012) Groupon deals.

1,013) Not having to worry about living anyone’s life but my own.

1,014) Those rare couples who stay pure in the midst of dating and don’t move in together until after they’re married.

1,015) Stopping my car at twilight to catch a family of deer running across the road.

1,016) Free books that the library gives away.

1,017) Free anything.

1,018) Finally figuring out how to do a screen capture on my iPhone.

1,019) Tiny flower pots. What do you plant in those?

1,020)  Fans blowing on me while I sleep.

1,021) The way the sunlight reflects off of Radnor Lake in the summer time.

1,022) Fallen pine needles strewn across the ground on an autumn afternoon.

1,023) The crunching sound of walking through dead leaves in the fall.

1,024) That you can’t say the word “rural” and not sound like you’ve had one too many.

1,025) Adele Live at Royal Albert Hall on blu ray.

1,026) The Amplified Bible.

1,027) Getting lost in a good book.

1,028) Model trains.

1,029) All the amazing people I’m going to see in heaven one day.

1,030) Spring reminding me of the hope that the Resurrection brings.

1,031) The scent of vanilla.

1,032) The clean feeling after I’ve just brushed my teeth.

1,033) The music of Duke Ellington.

1,034)Mechanical pencils.

1,035) That if I were to list every single thing in my life that I’m thankful for and that is really a gift, I’d have to blog until I’m as old as Methuselah to get everything down (and then I’d still leave something out).

A Blogger’s Prayer

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If you blog frequently or even on rare occasion, this prayer is for you. It was both encouraging and convicting for me personally. I hope it will bless and encourage and convict (where needed) each of you as you read it:

“I am no longer my own blogger, but Thine.

Refine me with each post how You will, rank me how You will.

Put me to service, or put me to suffering.

Let me be a follower, instead of seeking followers

Let me post for thee or be put aside for thee,

Lifted high, only for thee, or brought low, all for thee.

Do with me and each post whatever you will, because You alone know best.

Let me not strive but submit

Let me not compete but care

Let me not desire hits but holiness

Let my blog be full of You, and let it be empty of me.

Let me crave all things of You, let me care nothing of this world.

Let my words be worthy of the greatest of audiences: You.

And You are enough.

May I write not for subscribers… but only for Your smile.

May my daily affirmation be in the surety of my atonement not the size of my audience.

May my identity be in the innumerable graces of Christ, never, God forbid,

the numbers of my comments.

And may the only words that matter in my life not be the ones I write on a screen —

but the ones I live with my skin.

I freely and heartily yield every sentence, every title, every post, every comment… or no comments… all to Your pleasure and perfect will.

My only fame is that I bear your name

My only glory is the gift of Your Grace

My only readership, Your eyes that seek to and for to find a heart hard after you.

Make this so. Lord…

Yahweh, You alone are my God, not Google

Jesus, You alone are my Savior, not site meters

And Holy Spirit, you alone are my Comforter, not comments

So be it, today, yesterday, and every post to come.

This is my prayer I have made on earth, over this keyboard…

may it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.”

Things I Love 33: The Very Last One . . . Or Is It?

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“Christian hands never clasp
and He doesn’t give gifts for gain
because a gift can never stop being a gift –
it is always meant to be given” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The whole of the life — even the hard — is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Hopefully, by the end of this you will have seen a picture of gratitude and thanksgiving and how joy in the smallest things can radically alter your perspective and change your life. Truly, eucharisteo (thanksgiving with joy) precedes the miracle. So, I pick up where I left off at #971.

971) Homemade chili with shredded cheese and crumbled crackers on top.

972) Batman movie marathons.

973) Jesus never calls the equipped but equips the called.

974) My sister Leigh’s cat Gracie, who was the sweetest and best cat I’ve ever known. RIP, my little friend.

975) Fage Greek yogurt.

976) Switching to Verizon.

977) God’s perfect timing.

978) 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound.

979) The brilliance of The Screwtape Letters.

980) “If you build it, they will come.”

981) Whenever a bad guy in the movies gets what’s coming to him.

982) Whenever Jesus changes the bad guy into a good guy (because basically without Jesus and grace we’re all bad guys deep down).

983) Whenever I matter enough to someone for them to make time for me.

984) Having seen every single episode of the X-Files (and both movies).

985) Casual Fridays at work.

986) Blessing and serving Jesus by serving the least of these.

987) Snow on Christmas Eve.

988) That my value doesn’t decrease because of someone’s inability to see it (again “borrowed from a Facebook post).

989) The Home Alone movies (well, the first two anyway).

990) The level ground at the foot of the Cross.

991) That real heroes don’t wear costumes.

992) The mute button for those annoying TV commercials.

993) The way Lucy the Wonder Kitty purrs when she eats.

994) That while people may argue theology and semantics, no one can argue with a transformed life.

995) The way Jack Cardiff, famous cinematographer, interplayed light and shadow.

996) That God’s not done with me yet.

997) The slow steady rhythms of a Sunday afternoon.

998) Finally being brave enough to take risks and step boldly out in faith.

999) The little children’s book J.R.R. Tolkien wrote called Roverandom about a little toy dog.

1000) That I’ve decided that 1,000 really isn’t enough and there will be more coming soon to a blog near you.

Things I Love 32: Everything Will Be Fine in the End

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“The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the reading of stories, they survive fire” (Ann Voskamp).

“I don’t really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done-yesterday” (Ann Voskamp).

The way I figure it, I have only two of these left. Then again, I was never good at math. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be a rebel and add one extra just for the fun of it. Why stop at 1,000? Why stop at all? Gratitude means you never stop counting your blessings that you become aware of as you number them one by one. So that said, I start again at #936.

936) Making my triumphant return to swing dancing tonight at Centennial Park.

937) How anyone who has ever worked in a corporate environment can relate to the movie Office Space.

938) The Greek on the GO! Strawberry Granola Bites. You can’t have just one. Or at least I can’t.

939) Whenever my family gets together.

940) That I’m losing my mind and as long as I don’t lose the part that tells me when to pee, I’ll be just fine.

941) Reading The Horse and His Boy again for probably the 15th year in a row.

942) Having “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” as my new text and email alert on my iPhone.

943) Mild summer days with low humidity.

944) Having my only expectations be that God will keep all His promises to me.

945) The Dream of someone.

946) Using Inappropriately Captalized Letters At Random.

947) Having access to the Throne of Grace 24 hours 7 days a week.

948) Sometimes my only mode of transportation is a leap of faith (borrowed from a Facebook post).

949) That I don’t have to fire cannons to call attention to my shining; all I have to do is shine (from D. L. Moody).

950) Borrowing quotes and ideas from people on Facebook.

951) Being able to highlight verses in my YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone.

952) Having all my Christmas music on my laptop in case I ever feel the need for Christmas in July (or August).

953) Office chairs that swivel and spin.

954) Saturdays when it’s not raining.

955) Ditto for Sundays.

956) Not having been hit by any cars in the last 6 months.

957) Being alone and praying in Baskin Chapel at Brentwood Baptist Church.

958) Every time someone accepts my friend request on Facebook.

959) The way when I’m in a serious moment of silence and my stomach suddenly decides to do a spot-on impression of a whale’s mating call (borrowed this one from Pinterest).

960) That the walk of faith is not about seeing the whole journey but taking the next step.

961) That my hope isn’t in a President but a King.

962) Knowing the Kingdom of God is now and not yet.

963) Nerds candy.

964) Big League Chew bubble gum.

965) Meeting an Asian person who hates all Asian food (and thus busting another stereotype).

966) Asian food of just about any kind.

967) All George MacDonald’s fantasy stories.

968) How much I can relate to John Cusack’s characters in just about every one of his movies.

969) Living in the moment and finding God there.

970) My friend at Ultimate Frisbee who looks like Amanda Seyfried and who always makes me smile.

Things I Love 31: That Black Horse and Those Cherry Trees

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Going through some boxes, I found my old merit badge requirement book from when I was a Boy Scout. I didn’t realize it at the time, but life was so much more simple then. Relationships were definitely less complicated. I had a lot less to worry about, thanks to loving family who took care of my needs and left me free to enjoy my childhood. And cartoons were better back then. Just saying. On that note, I move on to #906.

906) Homemade bread with homemade jam.

907) Finishing a game of gin rummy with a positive score.

908) A sense of belonging and being wanted.

909) Those people who care enough about me to actually make time for me in their lives.

910) Grape jelly.

911) When someone sees you at your worst and chooses to stick around and love you in spite of the darkness.

912) My vintage California Raisins beach towel.

913) Peach and/or blackberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

914) Really old hymnals.

915) All the Cosby Show episodes before Denise left the show.

916) Resting in the greatness of my Savior’s loving heart.

917) The peace that comes with true surrender.

918) Letting go so that my open hands are ready to receive something better.

919) Embracing the mystery of God in all His love and holiness and not just the parts I understand or that make me feel warm and fuzzy.

920) Another good night of fellowship with the Green Hills Community Group.

921) Making Thursdays my designated downtown Franklin night.

922) Being okay with unresolved tension and the cliffhangers in life.

923) Laying in my bed in the dark late at night listening to good music.

924) Taking my shoes off and wading through the creek at Crockett Park.

925) The relief of Aloe Vera on sunburn.

926) Taking a spoonful of local honey to help with my allergies.

927) Cake batter.

928) Being alone but not lonely.

929) Movies like Gladiator and Braveheart.

930) Taking naps on the couch.

931) When it’s there’s still daylight after 8 pm.

932) The way my grandfather told the best stories.

933) When pants that used to be too tight are now too loose.

934) Not having to write in cursive anymore if I don’t want to.

935) That I’m not fighting for victory but fighting from the victory Jesus has already won.

936) That moment when I’m hopelessly lost and I see a familiar landmark and realize I know where I am.

937) Trying to wrap my brain around the concept of eternity.

938) The prayer I learned from Brennan Manning that I repeat daily– “Abba Father, I belong to You.”

939) Sighing the deep sigh of contentment at close of day.

940) That face.

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Things I Love 30: That’s The Way Love Goes

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“Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perserverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?” (Ann Voskamp)

“The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” (Ann Voskamp)

The big 3-0. That’s how many blogs I’ve written in this series. It seems like only yesterday that I was writing the first one. Actually, it was more like three weeks ago. Maybe four. But here I am yet again, starting out with #871.

871) Still having peace and joy after being defriended on Facebook for no apparent reason (at least none that was given with no chance to correct whatever I did wrong).

872) The comfort of chocolate ice cream.

873) That Aslan is on the move.

874) A surprise visit from a friendly neighborhood cat.

875) Hanging out with my sister when it’s just the two of us, even if it’s at Michael’s.

876) Lucy the Wonder Kitty half-asleep and purring in my lap.

877) Those times when God reminds me gently that He is all I really need.

878) Salted peanuts.

879) Being able to let go and move on.

880) Seeing pictures of my friends John and Michelle’s new baby and knowing she will be loved.

881) The way my old dog Murphy used to sigh with contentment at the end of a long day.

882) Being an Eagle Scout.

883) Adele’s voice.

884) Having a great weekend to look forward to.

885) Not giving a . . . well, crap about what other people think anymore.

886) The tender yet relentless pursuit of the Father for His children (including me).

887) My coffee table book of Ansel Adams photography that I picked up at an estate sale for $5.

888) Red Velvet anything.

889) God using people like the Apostle Peter and the Apostle Paul.

890) My big book of Vincent Van Gogh artwork.

891) Friends who refuse to give up on other friends.

892) That last bit of sleep just before I have to wake up in the morning.

893) My friend who recently moved to Orlando and who is one of the sweetest kindest people I’ve been blessed to know.

894) Visions of lambs lying down with lions and being unafraid.

895) Red kool-aid. As long as it’s not during VBS.

896) A really good foot massage.

897) Running water, indoor plumbing, and all those other things I take for granted that half the world would love to have.

898) My very swanky Mr. Rogers t-shirt.

899) When I stop trying to define who my neighbor is and start trying to be one.

900) Big Red gum.

901) That I’m down to less than 100 things I love left. Maybe

902) Finding the perfectly random pin on Pinterest.

903) Google Chrome (much more than Internet Explorer).

904) Purple stuff (way more than Tang).

905) 10,000 years to sing of 10,000 reasons to bless the Lord.

Things I Love 29: She’s The Tear That Hangs Inside my Soul Forever

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“How my eyes see, perspective, is my key to enter into His gates. I can only do so with thanksgiving. If my inner eye has God seeping up through all things, then can’t I give thanks for anything? And if I can give thanks for the good things, the hard things, the absolute everything, I can enter the gates to glory. Living in His presence is fullness of joy- and seeing shows the way in.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are)

Just to give you a context for this particular blog, I have the TV on. Late Night with Conan O’Brien to be specific. So I apologize in advance for any random goofiness that filters into this blog. Oh wait. That’s filters in every other time. Never Mind. Back to #836.

836) Impromptu dashes to Starbucks in the pouring rain for a cold foam mocha that was totally worth it.

837) A tall glass of orange juice.

838) Conan’s wacky brand of humor.

839) Watching a thunderstorm from a safe place.

840) Hugging my grandmother and telling her I love her.

841) The way my little niece’s eyes light up when she sees me.

842) The way the song “Easy to Love” as sung by Ella Fitzgerald perfectly captures the way I feel about a certain someone.

843) Any day without Fox News.

844) Bacon.

845) Kevin Bacon (just because he’s the coolest . . . and in a very non-gay way).

846) Peanut M & Ms

847) The most recent screen adaptation of Les Miserables.

848) Changing machines that could turn my brother into a puppy (if only I had a brother).

849) Finally getting past level 33 in Candy Crush Saga.

850) Melatonin that helps me sleep at night.

851) James Bond movie marathons.

852) Encouraging facebook messages sent at just the right time.

853) Remembering when Bruce Willis had hair.

854) BOTH pairs of  Crocs that I still wear, regardless of whether they are in fashion anymore or not.

855) Every single episode of Firefly and the movie follow-up called Serenity.

856) Pretty much everything Joss Whedon has ever been associated with.

857) The peace of God that comes out of nowhere when I least expect or deserve it.

858) The drive-in movie theatre in Watertown.

859) Driving anywhere late at night with good friends.

860) That the wheels on the bus DO go round and round.

861) That Nosferatu is still the creepiest and most effective adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

862) God picking me up every single time I fall.

863) The concept of flying monkeys. Brilliant.

864) The ending of It’s a Wonderful Life that tears me up every single time.

865) That the thief on the cross was the first person Jesus welcomed into heaven.

866) Never having seen a single episode of Honey Boo Boo (a record I intend to keep going).

867) The first two Die Hard movies (after that. . . . not so much).

868) True beauty that comes from within.

869) Those rare moments when I am totally selfless and God-focused.

870) That God knows me and calls me by name.