A Different Kind of Christmas

Christmas is generally a festive and happy time of the year, but not for everyone. For those who have lost family members, this time of year is often when the grief is felt most keenly and the hurt seems most present.

This is one of my favorite songs honoring those we’ve lost and miss, knowing that they are gone from our sight but not from our hearts:

“Snow is falling Christmas Eve
Lights are coming on up and down the street
The sound of carols fills the air
And people rushing home, families everywhere

Putting candles in the windows
Lights upon the tree
But there’s no laughter in this house
Not like there used to be
There’s just a million little memories
That remind me you’re not here
It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year

In the evening fires glow
Dancing underneath the mistletoe
A letter left from Santa Claus
Won’t be the same this year in this house because

There’s one less place set at the table
One less gift under the tree
And a brand new ache to take their place inside of me
I’m unwrapping all these memories
Fighting back the tears
It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year

There’s voices in the driveway
Families right outside the door
And we’ll try to make this Christmas like the ones we’ve had before
As we gather round the table, I see joy on every face
And I realize what’s still alive is the legacy you made

It’s time to put the candles in the windows, the lights upon the tree
It’s time to fill this house with laughter like it used to be
Just because you’re up in heaven, doesn’t mean you’re not near
It’s just a different kind of Christmas
It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year” (Mark Schultz)

Christmas by Frederick Buechner

The following excerpt originally appeared in Whistling in the Dark, and later in Beyond Words.

“The lovely old carols played and replayed till their effect is like a dentist’s drill or a jack hammer, the bathetic banalities of the pulpit and the chilling commercialism of almost everything else, people spending money they can’t afford on presents you neither need nor want, ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,’ the plastic tree, the cornball creche, the Hallmark Virgin. Yet for all our efforts, we’ve never quite managed to ruin it. That in itself is part of the miracle, a part you can see. Most of the miracle you can’t see, or don’t.

The young clergyman and his wife do all the things you do on Christmas Eve. They string the lights and hang the ornaments. They supervise the hanging of the stockings. They tuck in the children. They lug the presents down out of hiding and pile them under the tree. Just as they’re about to fall exhausted into bed, the husband remembers his neighbor’s sheep. The man asked him to feed them for him while he was away, and in the press of other matters that night he forgot all about them. So down the hill he goes through knee-deep snow. He gets two bales of hay from the barn and carries them out to the shed. There’s a forty-watt bulb hanging by its cord from the low roof, and he lights it. The sheep huddle in a corner watching as he snaps the baling twine, shakes the squares of hay apart and starts scattering it. Then they come bumbling and shoving to get at it with their foolish, mild faces, the puffs of their breath showing in the air. He is reaching to turn off the bulb and leave when suddenly he realizes where he is. The winter darkness. The glimmer of light. The smell of the hay and the sound of the animals eating. Where he is, of course, is the manger.

He only just saw it. He whose business it is above everything else to have an eye for such things is all but blind in that eye. He who on his best days believes that everything that is most precious anywhere comes from that manger might easily have gone home to bed never knowing that he had himself just been in the manger. The world is the manger. It is only by grace that he happens to see this other part of the miracle.

Christmas itself is by grace. It could never have survived our own blindness and depredations otherwise. It could never have happened otherwise. Perhaps it is the very wildness and strangeness of the grace that has led us to try to tame it. We have tried to make it habitable. We have roofed it in and furnished it. We have reduced it to an occasion we feel at home with, at best a touching and beautiful occasion, at worst a trite and cloying one. But if the Christmas event in itself is indeed-as a matter of cold, hard fact all it’s cracked up to be, then even at best our efforts are misleading.

The Word become flesh. Ultimate Mystery born with a skull you could crush one-handed. Incarnation. It is not tame. It is not touching. It is not beautiful. It is uninhabitable terror. It is unthinkable darkness riven with unbearable light. Agonized laboring led to it, vast upheavals of intergalactic space, time split apart, a wrenching and tearing of the very sinews of reality itself. You can only cover your eyes and shudder before it, before this: ‘God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God . . . who for us and for our salvation,’ as the Nicene Creed puts it, ‘came down from heaven.’

Came down. Only then do we dare uncover our eyes and see what we can see. It is the Resurrection and the Life she holds in her arms. It is the bitterness of death he takes at her breast.”

Find Your Happy

Ok, I get that not everyone likes eggnog. Bunch of weirdos. Even if you’re not a fan of the festive holiday beverage, there’s something out there that you like that makes your little heart happy. Go find it.

Read a book. Binge your favorite TV show. Take a long hot shower.

Whatever it is, I give you permission to go and find your happy.

The “Why” Of Christmas

Simply, the why of Christmas is Jesus.

We on our own could never hope of getting to God, so God took on our skin and came to us.

We could never on our own be good enough for God, so God in Jesus became our goodness by His own perfection.

The Bible says that we were strangers to God’s promises, far away from hope, and as lost and helpless as humanly possible, but God in Jesus came near to bring us near, to give us hope, and to save us from our sins and ourselves.

Christmas is Emmanuel. God with us. God for us. God in us.

Fully Known and Truly Loved


“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. 

But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us” (Timothy Keller).

How many of us feel unknown and unloved? How many out there are dying for someone to see them and not to feel invisible?

Maybe you’re the one who will notice the one no one else sees. Maybe you’re the one who will remember what it was like when God loved an unloveable you and you in turn will love someone expecting nothing in return.

Everybody needs to know that they are fully known and truly loved. Only God knows us completely and only God loves us unconditionally and supremely. All the true love we share is God’s love within us flowing out to others.

Do you know and understand and accept that you are fully known and truly loved by God? All He asks is that you receive that love in Jesus.

The 3rd Sunday of Advent

“God must become the equal of the lowliest. But the lowliest is one who serves others. God therefore must appear in the form of a servant. But this servant’s form is not merely something he puts on, like the beggar’s cloak, which, because it is only a cloak, flutters loosely and betrays the king. No, it is his true form. For this is the unfathomable nature of boundless love, that it desires to be equal with the beloved; not in jest, but in truth” (Søren Kierkegaard).

God became like us so that we might one day become like Him. That’s the story of Christmas distilled down to its essence. The very Jesus who existed in the form of God took on the form of a man and humbled Himself to the point of a criminal’s death on a cross.

Yet this very same Jesus will return not as a lowly infant but as a conquering King. He who has known all our sorrows will one day wipe away all our tears and forever undo all the evil that caused those very tears. He who was tempted in all the ways we are yet was without sin will one day put an end to temptation and sin for good.

I love the quote that says because of the resurrection, the worst thing is never the last thing. Jesus’ story didn’t end with crucifixion, and neither will the story of His children end in defeat. Death will not have the final word.

Remember even in the victory, Jesus will still bear His scars. Even as reigning king, He won’t ever stop being the One who stooped to wash our feet.

Christmas Can Only Be Found

Before you get caught up in all the decorating and gift-buying and party-going, remember that Christmas can only be found by the hearts that are silent and still before the manger.

Before we all go crazy like those Whos down in Whoville, we might need a reminder that the first Christmas was simple– just a baby in a manger surrounded by Mary, Joseph, and some adoring shepherds– so maybe ours needs to be the same.

What you and I need this Christmas isn’t anything that can be bought from a store or wrapped in a package with bows. What we need is the child in that manger who grew up to be the Savior of the world, our Prince of Peace.

Celebrating Christmas Correctly

“Who among us will celebrate Christmas correctly? Whoever finally lays down all power, all honor, all reputation, all vanity, all arrogance, all individualism beside the manger; whoever remains lowly and lets God alone be high; whoever looks at the child in the manger and sees the glory of God precisely in his lowliness” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer).

No, celebrating Christmas correctly isn’t about how you have your tree just right or you get those gingerbread houses looking perfect.

It’s not even about having all the correct theological Ts crossed and I’s dotted.

It’s about remembering how God became small so that we could live.

It’s about when we couldn’t get to God on our own, God in Jesus came to us in our mess and didn’t merely show us a better way but became our very salvation.

That, Charlie Brown, is what Christmas is all about.


Not Original But Funny

Apparently, these were actual answers given to Bible questions. They were soooo close . . . .

“Strange Answers Given on a Bible Knowledge Test

Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. 

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. 

Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. 

The seventh commandment is ‘thou shalt not admit adultery.’

Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. 

The people who followed Jesus were called Decibels. 

The espistles were the wives of the apostles. 

One of the opossums was St. Matthew. 

Salome danced in seven veils in front of King Herrod. 

Paul preached acrimony, which is another name for marriage. 

David fought the Finkelsteins, which a race of people who lived in Bible times. 

The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathic Genitals.”

If you know where these came from, let me know so that I can give appropriate credit. In the meantime, enjoy.

God’s Word for You

“So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you” (1 Peter 5:6-7 MSG)

No matter where you are, God knows. He has not forgotten you.

If you’re in a place that brings out anxiety in you, remember that Jesus is still the Prince of Peace.

Always remember that God’s timing is perfect, but His timing is not yours. His ways are not yours. They may be different but they are always better.

God is more interested in who you are becoming than where you are going. That’s why He will often leave you in a place until you have learned to trust Him more fully and to be content with where He has placed you.

That’s more of me preaching to myself. Hopefully, it will help you as well.

My feelings will lie to me. My gut instinct will sometimes steer me wrong. But God’s promises are always YES and AMEN in Jesus. Always.