I was not expecting to not have a job at this point. I honestly wasn’t thinking that far ahead. I loved where I worked. I didn’t always love everything about my job, but I was grateful to be employed (even if it felt like I was driving halfway around the world sometimes).

But here we are. This is one of those seasons that I won’t be able to fully appreciate until it has passed. It reminds me of those disciples who never fully grasped who Jesus was and what He was about until after He departed from them back into heaven.

I’m not one of those people who believe that God’s main goal is to make me wealthy and happy with no struggles or issues in my life. I do think that suffering and hardships are a part of God’s plan that He uses to refine me and conform me into the image of Jesus.

I do believe that in this case my job ended so that something better could begin. Something where I get to utilizes my gifts and passions. Something where I leave work every day feeling I’ve made a difference for the Kingdom. Somewhere where I don’t have to drive as far to get to.

I’m also reminded of the verse about how God’s ways are not mine, nor are God’s thoughts like mine. My mind is very finite (and sometimes more closed than I would like to admit), but God’s is infinite and omniscient. I read today that God chooses for me what I would choose if I knew what He knew and saw the big picture the way He does.

Right now, I want that next thing to be tomorrow. I want it right now. In my own finite humanness, I am sensing my own anxiety and impatience. But I never want to get ahead of God or presume to receive His gifts before I’m ready to receive them or mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with them.

My prayer is still that of Jehoshaphat of ancient times: “I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on You.”

God, I trust You with my life, my hopes, my career, and my future. I am still in good Hands.