How to Drive in Nashville

I found this on the Facebooks and thought it was worth sharing, especially for the last one, which is especially true in July and August. My own experience has taught me that running red lights is now the fourth most popular sport in Middle Tennessee behind only football, baseball, and hockey and slightly ahead of soccer.

“HOW TO DRIVE IN NASHVILLE:

1. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

2. The minimum acceptable speed on I-65 is 80 mph. On I-40, your speed is expected to at least match the posted speed limit. Anything less is considered disrespectful.

3. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Nashville has its own version of traffic rules. For example, Ferraris and Lamborghinis owned by sports stars go first at a four-way stop. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go second. The trucks with the biggest tires go third.

4. The HOV lanes are really designed just for the slow Alabamians passing through who are used to hogging the left lane everywhere.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Unless there is a police car nearby.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It’s another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day’s driving a bit more exciting. Generally, city roads other than the main streets have more potholes and bumps (usually speed bumps) than most dirt roads in the countryside.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, ladders, squirrels, rabbits, and crows.

9. Be aware that spelling of street names may change from block to block, e.g., Clairmont, Claremont, Clairmonte.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”.

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 75 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be ‘flipped off’ accordingly. If you return the flip, you’ll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands” (Elizabeth Huddleston Carter).

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