I read this earlier today and found it such a well-stated encapsulation of a lot of what’s wrong with this social media-obsessed society, including yours truly. I heard once that so many of us spend our lives trying to look good and feel good rather than to do good and to be good.

The joke goes that they’re called selfies because narcissistie is just too hard to spell. I am not opposed to selfies, but it can be an indicator of self- and me-obsessed thinking that looks at the world and all that happens in it through the lends of only how it affects me.

It’s a bit longer than my typical post, but it’s worth the extra time:

“It’s such a strange time in which to live. There was about a 5-year period around the first decade of the 2000’s when a convergence of sorts happened: We turned the camera back towards ourselves and the modern-day selfie was born; it seemed to almost cap off the self-empowerment movement that so many daytime talk show hosts guided us through (Yes I can, The power is in me, etc.).

I think selfies are harmless, by the way, but I also feel that they somehow symbolized the full arrival of what started when I was in my 20’s: an almost absolute elevation of self and preoccupation (to a fault) of our own happiness and well-being. It’s been the norm in American culture for so long, that it’s hard to remember a time when it wasn’t as prevalent.

I’m trying to walk a fine line on this topic – because the fact that mental, emotional, and physical self-care have become more important and more talked about is a good thing. It has surely saved many lives. I get that self-care is an investment, I really do. I’m more talking about the reason behind it all, the endgame. If we’re only caring for ourselves so that we can then care more for ourselves, etc., etc. . .

What is self-improvement for if not to then in turn help someone else? I’ve heard that you can’t pour from an empty pitcher – and I think that’s true; but I do think it’s imperative that we do actually pour – pour ourselves into those around us, into something bigger than our individual selves. I feel like our culture would have us make sure the pitcher is full just so the pitcher can feel better about itself and gain affirmation and likes from other pitchers.

As I get well into my 50’s and care less and less about impressing anyone — I look back and realize that I spent SO much time, especially in my younger days, just focusing on myself. I once heard Rich Mullins say that even thinking of oneself in an overly-negative way can be a way of thinking too much of ourselves. In other words, good or bad – I need to just think of myself less (not think less of myself, mind you. . .but think of myself less). I need to have a true and proper evaluation of myself, but not more than that.

As much as any generation tends to lament and accuse the next one – I actually think the generation or two coming up under me is doing a better job at this than mine did. Yes, there are still spoiled, self-obsessed teens and young adults, and yes, there are some who like the idea of helping others more than actually doing it; but I think in general the younger generation is showing great promise in their capacity for compassion and service. As they grow older and gain more resources, I’m optimistic that they will do well on the follow-through.

I can’t look at any profound topic without shining it through the lens of faith. Although I don’t always hit the target, I’ve chosen to align myself with the Bible, Christ’s teachings, and his example while he was here on earth; and while I do believe that the Christian life can result in a deep, abiding sense of joy and peace, I’ve never seen where Jesus’s goal was his own personal happiness. However, in our culture I dare say many Christians, much less the public-at-large, would say that one’s own happiness is one of the only things that gives life true meaning; but I’m just not sure that’s the truth (at least from the Bible’s point of view).

Perhaps equally miraculous to Christ’s more ‘popular’ revelations of his power was the fact that he chose to spend his roughly 3 years of ministry on earth as a lowly servant – living a life of no means with a ragtag group of guys and gals – when he would’ve had every right to just lavishly set himself up as a more traditional ‘King of Everything.’ His own personal happiness isn’t really mentioned much in scripture. He wanted to do His Father’s will, and frankly, that wasn’t always a feel-good place. He was poor, misunderstood a lot, rejected by pretty much anyone who was highly regarded at the time, and was eventually killed. Now, I know the end of the story, so it’s for sure not all bad; but I dare say that during his time on the earth – the part that we’re supposed to exemplify today – he was tons more focused on serving God and pouring himself into others than he was self-affirmations and ‘feeling good.’

I’m going to wrap this up now, because I could ramble on (if I haven’t already), and I’m not sure what to do with these thoughts. There’s just some kind of humility that comes with having lived more than half your life. It’s caused me to reflect more on how I’ve lived the last 50 years vs. how I want to live the next 30. In some mysterious way, I think happiness comes about as a byproduct of not focusing too much on it. Come to think of it, maybe that’s it: There’s a joy that surprises you, comes “out of nowhere,” when you give yourself away – and it supersedes the shallower happiness that comes from personal achievements, a pile of stuff, and striving for the affirmation of others.

Again, not sure if this resonates with anyone else – maybe I’m just getting more pensive, but I’m hopeful there was a point in there somewhere:-)” (Carey Dyer).