I found some sage advice on the interwebs that I thought I’d pass along:

“1. Be silent – in the heat of anger.

2. Be silent – when you don’t have all the facts.

3. Be silent – when you haven’t verified the story.

4. Be silent – if your words will offend a weaker person.

5. Be silent – when it is time to listen.

6. Be silent – when you are tempted to make light of holy things.

7. Be silent – when you are tempted to joke about sin.

8. Be silent – if you would be ashamed of your word later.

9. Be silent – if your words would convey the wrong impression.

10. Be silent – if the issue is none of your business.

11. Be silent – when you are tempted to tell an outright lie.

12. Be silent – if your words will damage someone else’s reputation.

13. Be silent – if your words will damage a friendship.

14. Be silent – when you are feeling critical.

15. Be silent – if you can’t say it without screaming.

16. Be silent – if your words will be a poor reflection of your friends and family.

17. Be silent – if you may have to eat your words later.

18. Be silent – if you have already said it more than one time.”

I believe the book of Proverbs has plenty to say about the value of choosing to listen over speaking. There are plenty of tidbits of wisdom like being quick to speak and slow to hear. One of my favorites (which may or may not be entirely biblical) says that it’s better to keep quiet and let people think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and prove it. I love the adage that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason — take twice as long to listen as to speak.

I don’t think any of this is advocating for complete silence in situations of injustice or wrongdoing. I do think that the wisdom comes in being wise with your words and timely with your replies — not just speaking to hear your own voice, or “to hear your head rattle” as my grandmother said more than once.

The issue is not speaking up, but speaking rashly and hastily before you have all the facts and understanding or before you can see all the different viewpoints. And sometimes it’s better just to keep your mouth shut when you don’t have nothin’ nice to say.